So, I know that I shouldn't be starting another fic while I've got my other one going (I promise I'll have an update for you on that one by Tuesday night) but this popped into my head while watching Into You Like A Train yet again. Drunken Meredith just makes me laugh. So, here's my attempt at capturing her and some humour. I'm putting her into a bit of an AU.

This is set right at the beginning of Into You Like A Train in season two... or right at the end of Bring The Pain... it doesn't really matter. Read, Enjoy, and Review!

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy belongs to Shonda Rimes, not me.

"Wait, you can't go anywhere, Meredith," Joe said to me as I grabbed my coat and purse off of the bar stool and turned to follow Christina back to the hospital, "You're drunk! You can't go to work."

I sighed, and sat back down at the bar, "Fine, if you say so. But honestly, my chances of seeing Derek and finding out what he has to say to my ridiculous 'pick me' speech are far better at the hospital. He's really not coming."

Joe handed me a cup of coffee. I stared at him. What was he thinking? Trying to sober me up when I clearly wanted to be drunk as a skunk. "More tequila," I demanded.

"Maybe you should go to the hospital," Joe said, "They'll at least have something to sober you up," he commented, but he got my drink anyway. I downed the shot quickly, and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. The bell over the door dinged, and I turned quickly to see who'd come in.

Oh… bad idea that moving to fast is. The room spun and I grabbed desperately at the bar. I regained my focus and there was Derek. Wow, he was hot. I laughed. It didn't sound like my laugh, kind of harsh, but it didn't matter at the moment. I shook my head, trying to make the buzzing in my head go away. Everything went blurry again, and I realized that of course it wasn't Derek at the door. He wasn't coming.

"Ah!" I shouted when suddenly there was a man standing a few feet in front of me. I squinted at him. "McDreamy! What are you doing here? You picked your wife remember!" I gripped the bar again, and prayed the room would stop spinning.

"No, I didn't," he said quietly. Too quietly.

"What was that?" I asked loudly.

"I said, I didn't pick her," Derek said looking at me strangely. Or maybe he wasn't looking at me strangely. Jeez, alcohol has a funny effect on how you see people. "I signed the divorce papers, Meredith."

"I don't want to talk about this right now," I really hoped I wasn't saying anything stupid. "Nope, not now," I took another shot of tequila. "I seem to be a little bit drunk." I told him, shaking my finger at him.

"Meredith, please," I heard him say. It was kind of echo-y, sort of far away.

"Go find your wife. She's pretty and I'm… I'm drunk."

Oh no! The room was being swallowed by a black hole! This was very, very bad.

---

The very next thing I knew, the lights were very, very bright. My first thought was that possibly, I had died and gone to heaven. Then I realized that there wasn't any tequila here, so it clearly wasn't heaven.

"Can you turn the damn lights off?" I said to no one in particular. My throat hurt. It was scratchy and dry. Tequila is only good while you're drinking it. When you stop, bad things tend to happen to you.

"You are still drunk," a familiar voice came from the door. I groaned.

"I really don't want to see you right now," I informed Miranda Bailey.

"I really don't care," she said, checking my chart. What? I have a chart?! Why the hell do I have a chart? I tried to get out of bed, and as soon as I moved it felt like I'd walked into a brick wall. It was quite possible that I had, come to think of it. "Don't move," Bailey said, "You passed out at Joe's, fell off your bar stool and hit your head on the floor. You're just luck that Dr. Shepherd was there to sort of break your fall.

"Pfft, I'm not lucky," I said, "They've taken away my tequila. And my head hurts."

"You are lucky. You only have a minor concussion, and Dr. Shepherd's orders were to keep you here until he personally checked you out to see if you're ok. Personally, I think that's a load of bull, but he's my boss."

This was ridiculous. Who gets hospitalized for drinking? Clearly, I do. Lucky she says. I don't see how she could call me lucky. Christina walked in as Bailey walked out. Finally, someone who I actually wanted to see.

"You're drunk," she said, "You're drunk, and you are missing an amazing case. These two people are stuck together on a pole, and they just met."

"Thank you, so much," I rolled my eyes. Bad idea. Since when does rolling your eyes hurt? "Don't you think I'd rather be dealing with the blood and dying people than lying here being told what I'm missing?"

"Well, yeah, but does it look like I care?" Christina asked. What a great friend. "So did McDreamy show?"

"He showed all right. He showed up, and I was very, very drunk."

"You're still drunk."

"Mildly," I told her, which was quite the truth. If it weren't for the banana bag in my arm, I would be working my way towards a wicked hangover.

"So? Did he stay with McWife?"

"I don't… quite remember," I said sheepishly.

"You really dove into the bottle, Mer."

I really, really had. Sort of regretting it now, because I couldn't for the life of me remember what Derek had said. On second thoughts, I'm not regretting it at all. I like tequila.

"Dr. Yang, can you give us a moment?" Derek poked his head in the door.

"Speak of the freaking devil," I said dully. Christina gave me a wicked smile as she left the room. "What do you want?" I said, trying desperately to be neutral, as if of course, I knew exactly what he'd said in the bar. But my slightly impaired brain was not allowing me to do so.

"I just want to know if you're ok," he said. The usual sparkle wasn't in his eye. Now, normally I would have analysed it and thought about it again and again… but not today. Today, my head hurt."

"I am perfectly fine," I announced.

"You're drunk," Derek said.

"So I've been told." Why do people keep saying that?! Do they not think that I know I'm drunk? "Don't you have someone's brain to cut into?"

"Not at this exact moment," he said. I groaned. "Meredith, I left my wife for you. Please tell me that you still love me in that let me eat the last piece of cheesecake way."

Oh, so that's what he'd said in the bar.

Maybelline