A/N: Yes, I'm still alive. Sorry for the delay. So this is an idea on how Remi might've become this war goddess for Sandstorm and hopefully I managed to do her persuasive powers justice. Also, the speech in the end is pretty much just the song 'Silent Majority' by Nickelback because that song is amazing. Enjoy :)
„Remi!" she heard Ellen's voice through her door but she didn't bother replying "I know you're in there" her adoptive mother continued "I just want to talk to you."
"It's open" she called back out, still not moving from her favorite spot in the entire house – her carpet. She ran her fingers over the smooth fabric, so much softer than anything she'd ever touched before. She had fallen in love with it on their very first trip to the furniture shop and had furnished the rest of the room around the dark blue carpet.
It was the reason why the rest of her furniture was held pretty brightly even if she didn't think she was such a bright person… but this particular piece of cloth made the entire room feel more like an actual home.
"Hey" she heard her mother come in – she still wasn't sure if she liked calling her her mother or if that seemed like too much of a betrayal towards her real mother – and close the door carefully behind her. She didn't seem too surprised to find the teenage girl sitting on the floor and she simply sat down next to her, watching Remi stare into nothingness.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"I thought you wanted to talk" she shot back not bothering that it might be an improper way to talk to her legal guardian.
"I do" Ellen agree, leaning her back against the white wooden frame of the girl's bed "I just thought you'd might want to tell me what the principle told me about with your own words."
"It was nothing. This kid" she had honestly already forgotten the name, she wasn't really into meeting new people much less making friends "was shoving everyone because apparently because he's got rich parents he can just do that – or so he thought." She looked up at her adoptive mother accusingly, as if it was her fault that the kid thought so, her anger from earlier returning.
Truth be told, she couldn't remember a time when she hadn't been angry. It had to have been so early on in her childhood that all the awful things that happened after that had completely destroyed any memory of it. Since she'd gotten out of the orphanage anger had bene her default emotion. Except towards Roman but that was different – she had to look out for him.
Seeing that Ellen was still looking expectantly at her, she continued "When he shoved me into my locker" she looked down on her hands and immediately back up again – Ellen wanted them to look her in the eyes when they talked to her "I shoved him back. He seemed so surprised" a grim smile spread on her lips "Like nobody ever shoved him back before. And then he came at me. He shoved me again and I shoved him back. Again."
That was the moment it had all gone bad. She hadn't seen the fat rich kid anymore but a combination of all sorts of tyrants she had encountered in her young life and she had seen red. If it hadn't been for Roman getting there a few minutes after the fight had started, she didn't know if she would've stopped beating him.
"We've talked about this before" she heard her mother – what had her real mother even looked like? She couldn't remember anymore and that made her feel sick to her stomach.
"I know" she said trying to ignore the bad feeling that was brewing in her guts, ready to spill out, "I shouldn't beat people. Not even if they deserve it. It's just-" she tried to control herself, closed her eyes, tried to even her breathing, but she couldn't do it. "He deserved it!" she finally exclaimed, clenching her fist and barely recognizing that the bruises still hurt.
"And everyone was just standing there" her eyes were blazing with her stifled anger "I hate them. I hate all of them. And I am so angry" she spit out the last words but when they had left her she felt so empty "I'm so angry all the time" she repeated weakly and she felt tears well up in her eyes and tried blinking them away.
"Oh Remi, child" Ellen crouched over to the girl she loved as if she was her own flesh and took her into her arms, rubbing her back soothingly "I understand" she whispered in the girl's ear "You have all the rights in the world to be angry. What happened to you was horrible. Ferocious. And I don't expect you to keep it all down, I don't want it to eat you alive."
The woman took her time choosing her next words. She knew her girl and she knew all that she was capable of. She knew that Remi had the strongest sense of right and wrong she had ever seen in a kid – there was only black and white to her. She had lost the innocence other children possessed but she was, after all, still a child.
"The other kid was an idiot" she started "And what he was doing was wrong. But you have to control yourself better, you have to channel your anger against the real bad people" she felt her daughter lean back and stare up at her "We have to change this whole society and it's understanding of what's right, so no one will ever shove anyone ever again. But going into a fist fight with someone like him… It won't do any good. It will only hurt you. They will punish you. Not him. Because for now they can't see."
"So I'm supposed to channel it for an even bigger fight?" Remi wanted to know, eyeing the woman suspiciously "Wouldn't that make me just as bad as the people in the orphanage? The people who did this to us?"
"No. Because it will save the world from the likes of them."
"HA!" she exclaimed, throwing her fist in the air "I beat you. Again" Remi grinned up at her brother and pulled her ponytail tighter.
Roman glared up at her from the mat she had just put him on and when she reached out her hand to help him up, he pulled her down and rolled on top of her, pinning her to the ground this time.
"Or not" he grinned back at her, sticking out his tongue before releasing her and getting up.
"Another round?" he asked, taking a big gulp from his water bottle "Or are you scared?"
"Of you?" she raised her eyebrows and wiped away some of the sweat on her neck with her towel "You could never hurt me."
"Of course I could. But I wouldn't."
She smiled up at him – he had just surpassed her in height, her little brother was now officially taller than her – "I wouldn't either."
They had fought against each other for another hour when they sensed another presence in the room with them and found Shepherd watching them with an impassive expression. Both siblings had grown quiet after her entering the gym and soon felt too much under observation that they stopped fighting and turned to look at their mother.
"Are we doing something wrong?" it was Roman who opened his mouth first, he never could stand too much silence with too many people in the room, whereas Remi just watched. She was almost certain that she wouldn't like what came next.
"You're too soft on each other" Shepherd said, still her expression gave nothing away.
"What do you mean?" Roman furrowed his brows at her quizzically "We're only training."
"But what good will do all that training when you've never trained like it was a matter of life and death?" she shot back at him, her eyes dark.
"We know how it feels like to fight for life" Remi glared at the woman "You don't forget something like that" she snarled at her.
"No, you don't, Remi" she said her name like a threat "But you still have to train. No one else will fight either of you because you're too good, too strong, too wild" she managed to show them a proud smile "So your only real opponents to train with are each other" she looked at them pointedly "And what you are doing right now is not challenging whatsoever. You simply go through the motions, but it's not real because you know the other one isn't going to hurt you. Not really at least."
"Of course we're not going to hurt each other" Roman practically yelled at her then "We're siblings!"
She scowled at him "Roman! Watch your mouth."
Shepherd took a step towards both of them, her hands raised in a motion of surrender "I know that you love each other – and you should" she nodded to underline her words "But you have to stay sharp. You have to be the best you can be at any given moment. And you won't achieve that by going light onto each other."
She watched her kids, could see their walls and doubts towards her words but she knew they would see her side sooner rather than later – they always did.
"What do we have to stay sharp for?" Remi wanted to know quietly "What are we really training for? Because it's not some school karate competition."
"War" Shepherd said simply "We are preparing for war."
It had been years ago when Shepherd had first told them to prepare for war. In the years since then she had finished her education, had joined the Navy, had become a Navy SEAL, had joined a secret organization supported by the CIA and had been left to die by the government she'd risked her life to defend.
When Remi surveyed the compound Shepherd had built up and all the people who had gathered around her now, she could barely remember her first years in this new life her mother had given them. They had felt so carefree, relatively easy. Now she was back to fighting. It seemed that even with her second chance at life, it would still be pretty much the same procedure as her first one.
But this time she could do something about it. This time she wasn't doomed to just watch other people decide for her – this time she could fight back. She wasn't a wounded, defenseless child anymore who had just lost her parents. She was a woman now who had seen even more evil in this world but who had also learned how to fight back.
She had been back for a week now. It hadn't taken Shepherd long to welcome her with open arms after having heard her story and what happened to her. It had taken Roman even less time. She smiled at his face in the crowd, he was watching her intently. Her brother was the very best thing about being back here, she had decided, and she would never leave him again if she could prevent it.
Remi focused on the people looking up at her now for the first time. She had gotten to know most of them over the past week but this would be her first speech in front of all of them and she was a little nervous, especially under Shepherd's scrutinizing gaze, but nevertheless she cleared her throat and watched everyone else pause midsentence to pay attention.
"Most of you who have joined our course" she began and felt herself growing calmer the longer she kept talking "have been betrayed by the government that has sworn to protect us, in one way or the other. As have I" she swallowed, looking for her brother to gain strength from his unwavering support before she continued.
"I have seen how calculating the people running our government can be. I have seen them kill my comrades first and when they realized they hadn't managed to kill us all, they sent in another bomb – killing a whole town including a newly built hospital" her gaze found Nigel's and she had to blink away her tears remembering how many wonderful people they had lost to that bomb. But she couldn't seem weak, not now.
Instead she raised her voice, addressing everyone around her "I know, sometimes it feels like bad things only happen far away from your own life. Sometimes we don't even see how they could affect us directly. And really, who fights a war for something that doesn't affect him? But it influences all of us – it alters our whole lives even if we can't see it instantly." She let that sink in.
"It is our duty to do something about it because who else will?" she laughed hollowly "The people who are killing our families or the people they blind into thinking nothing happens? We have to get out of our comfort zone – this is going to feel so far out of our league and we are going to wish us back to an easier time. But if we keep going, we will eventually wake up in an even better time. In a fairer world."
Remi let her gaze wander over the many faces, she felt them growing restless and she felt more uncomfortable by the second. She was not used to this and she didn't think she was doing a very good job.
"But how are we supposed to right all the wrongs in the world?" someone wanted to know, she could barely make him out in the crowd but she think she didn't recognize his face. "We're only what – a hundred people? Against literally the rest of the world."
She directed her answer to everyone, they all seemed so eager to hear her say something.
"I know that it might feel like that sometimes" she said "As if you're all alone in this world, fighting for a lost cause" she felt reassured when she heard a faint approving murmur going through the rows of people. "Believe me, I've felt like that. I have felt alone and destroyed and like no one was on my side anymore. But look at it from that angle" she now looked directly at the man who had asked the question.
"A candle is the smallest light. But if you take a bunch of candles and unite them" she indicated towards their group "A lot of candles can be a light house when they work together closely. I am a candle" she said "And you are a candle. And everyone here is their very own candle and on our own we're barely strong enough to defy the wind that tries to blow out our light but together – Together we can be that light house, we can protect each other from the wind and we can light up the sky for everyone who's stuck in darkness. We'll give them the sign they've been waiting for to reach the shore safely. We will be their safe haven. And as our light house will grow, our signal will spread."
"We can be the light to push back all the darkness" she gestured towards the sky which was conveniently dark and looked back at her audience with a determined look "But we have to stand up against the wrongs being committed. We can give all those people suffering, who don't have the strength or the possibility to raise their voices, our voice. We will let them speak with our voice and it will roar so loudly that it can't be ignored anymore."
"They have always profited from a silent majority that was too scared to stand up against them. But not anymore. We will unmute the silent majority" she practically yelled and she was satisfied with the answering roar.
She waited until they had calmed down again before she continued with a certainty she hadn't even known she possessed.
"We will need all of you and everyone who is willing to join us, to help us fight for our cause in this war. We have to act as a union and we have to act now, if not –" she paused "We will only be left to pick up the pieces of this world."