They dealt with loss everyday, with despair, grief and death. An almost
overwhelming cloud of pain and fear seemed to follow them wherever they
deigned to tread. But even all those horrific scenes they had processed and
all the destruction they had born witness to had not prepared them for the
sheer magnitude of emotions they were experiencing now.
I'm sorry for your loss, not until now had they ever realised the utter futility of that statement. All the condolences in the world could not alleviate any of their grief. All the sympathy and comforting words in the world would not even dent the impenetrable cocoon of emotion tightly wrapped around each of them. The myriad of emotion running havoc through their minds only seemed to intensify with each sad smile and well meaning passer-by.
She was gone, and nothing anyone could say would ever bring her back to them. A part of them had been cruelly torn away leaving a ragged wound, which would be eternally painful.
He remembered someone; he wasn't sure whom, telling him that she would have wanted them to let her go and move on. They were probably right, but he also knew, with the same sense of certainty that he couldn't do it. He couldn't move past it, not with her memory still so fresh in his mind. Not when he still expected to hear her laughter, to be greeted by her smile.
He remembered the way she could make him feel like the most important person in the world with only a look. She could make anyone feel invincible just by bestowing even a small amount of attention on him or her.
Memories of her swirled throughout his mind with an almost overwhelming intensity. Their first meeting, the first case they worked together, all the places they had been together, and all the things they had seen. He recalled every moment spent in her presence; including her last.
It had been a beautiful sunny day, at the time it had seemed perfect. But afterwards, the sun had seemed a cruel reminder of the bright light that had been extinguished upon that day. They (the team) had been outside processing the garden when a man jumped the fence and opened fire. He was quickly subdued, but not before he had gotten off several rounds. At first it had seemed as if everyone was all right.
He remembered thinking that they had been lucky to escape without injury. He had been about to make an off hand comment about the lack of skill among criminals nowadays when he heard a soft voice filled with pain utter his name. He turned around just in time to see Calleigh slump against the wall and slide to the ground.
The next few moments were a blur, somehow he found himself at her side cradling her hand while someone tried desperately to stem the flow of blood. He looked into her once expressive eyes now clouded with pain and time seemed to stand still. It seemed like hours, but in reality it was only seconds before she took her last breaths on this earth and her eyes fluttered closed. Her last words before she slipped away would be forever etched upon his mind.
"Is everyone else alright?" she whispered
He reassured her that they were.
"Good" she replied
Before he could respond, she smiled the most hauntingly lovely smile he had ever seen and spoke her lasts words.
"Don't cry lieutenant. Be strong, the others are going to need you, take care of them."
And with that, she was gone.
She was unselfish to the last, more concerned about others than with herself. But that was Calleigh, she is, was the warmest most caring person he had ever known. She was a colleague, one of the best, a friend by his side and sometimes even a devils advocate when he needed one to keep him on track.
Lord how he missed her. The lab would never fully recover, and neither would he. Things would never be completely normal again. There would always be something missing, standing outside the ballistics lab, this became all too obvious. They were missing; a friend, a co-worker, an expert, a sister, a daughter. He didn't think he would ever be able to walk past without stopping, without remembering. But in a way he was glad, he didn't want to forget Calleigh and all she'd given them.
His beeper went off and he smiled. Calleigh would have loved to have worked on his current case, there was enough ballistics evidence to keep them busy for days. The new girl was good, but she was no Calleigh Desquene. His smiled widened and turned slightly sad. Since she had left this world, Calleigh had become a sort of legend. She was now toted by CSI's country wide as one of greatest ballistic experts in a long while, a fact that he had always known. To bad the recognition came too late.
His beeper sounded again. They were probably wondering what had become of him, he had better get back to work. With one final glance in the direction of the lab, Horatio Caine turned and walked away, his thoughts once again focusing on work. But as per usual thoughts of his job brought him back to Calleigh.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.
I'm sorry for your loss, not until now had they ever realised the utter futility of that statement. All the condolences in the world could not alleviate any of their grief. All the sympathy and comforting words in the world would not even dent the impenetrable cocoon of emotion tightly wrapped around each of them. The myriad of emotion running havoc through their minds only seemed to intensify with each sad smile and well meaning passer-by.
She was gone, and nothing anyone could say would ever bring her back to them. A part of them had been cruelly torn away leaving a ragged wound, which would be eternally painful.
He remembered someone; he wasn't sure whom, telling him that she would have wanted them to let her go and move on. They were probably right, but he also knew, with the same sense of certainty that he couldn't do it. He couldn't move past it, not with her memory still so fresh in his mind. Not when he still expected to hear her laughter, to be greeted by her smile.
He remembered the way she could make him feel like the most important person in the world with only a look. She could make anyone feel invincible just by bestowing even a small amount of attention on him or her.
Memories of her swirled throughout his mind with an almost overwhelming intensity. Their first meeting, the first case they worked together, all the places they had been together, and all the things they had seen. He recalled every moment spent in her presence; including her last.
It had been a beautiful sunny day, at the time it had seemed perfect. But afterwards, the sun had seemed a cruel reminder of the bright light that had been extinguished upon that day. They (the team) had been outside processing the garden when a man jumped the fence and opened fire. He was quickly subdued, but not before he had gotten off several rounds. At first it had seemed as if everyone was all right.
He remembered thinking that they had been lucky to escape without injury. He had been about to make an off hand comment about the lack of skill among criminals nowadays when he heard a soft voice filled with pain utter his name. He turned around just in time to see Calleigh slump against the wall and slide to the ground.
The next few moments were a blur, somehow he found himself at her side cradling her hand while someone tried desperately to stem the flow of blood. He looked into her once expressive eyes now clouded with pain and time seemed to stand still. It seemed like hours, but in reality it was only seconds before she took her last breaths on this earth and her eyes fluttered closed. Her last words before she slipped away would be forever etched upon his mind.
"Is everyone else alright?" she whispered
He reassured her that they were.
"Good" she replied
Before he could respond, she smiled the most hauntingly lovely smile he had ever seen and spoke her lasts words.
"Don't cry lieutenant. Be strong, the others are going to need you, take care of them."
And with that, she was gone.
She was unselfish to the last, more concerned about others than with herself. But that was Calleigh, she is, was the warmest most caring person he had ever known. She was a colleague, one of the best, a friend by his side and sometimes even a devils advocate when he needed one to keep him on track.
Lord how he missed her. The lab would never fully recover, and neither would he. Things would never be completely normal again. There would always be something missing, standing outside the ballistics lab, this became all too obvious. They were missing; a friend, a co-worker, an expert, a sister, a daughter. He didn't think he would ever be able to walk past without stopping, without remembering. But in a way he was glad, he didn't want to forget Calleigh and all she'd given them.
His beeper went off and he smiled. Calleigh would have loved to have worked on his current case, there was enough ballistics evidence to keep them busy for days. The new girl was good, but she was no Calleigh Desquene. His smiled widened and turned slightly sad. Since she had left this world, Calleigh had become a sort of legend. She was now toted by CSI's country wide as one of greatest ballistic experts in a long while, a fact that he had always known. To bad the recognition came too late.
His beeper sounded again. They were probably wondering what had become of him, he had better get back to work. With one final glance in the direction of the lab, Horatio Caine turned and walked away, his thoughts once again focusing on work. But as per usual thoughts of his job brought him back to Calleigh.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.