Book One

WONDERBOY GETS WHOOPED

by Keefe Sencen

Today's Splotching Championship will go down in the history of Foxfire! As usual, the event started out in the gym. Everyone exercised their telekinesis against his or her best friend for a practice round before the real tournament started. Foxfire's resident champion who has never lost a match, the eminent Fitz Vacker, was going strong, diminishing the group opponents placed against him; however, he didn't notice the new rising star: Sophie Foster!

Despite only being a Level Two, Foster managed to paint many Level Three and Four prodigies' faces, including Stina Heks's visage, which looks very pretty in blue! The final pair was announced with baited breaths, but no one could believe the results! Foster and Vacker were to face off to determine the Ultimate Splotching Champion. Despite Foster's rising popularity, everyone's bets were on Vacker. The color pink was chosen due to the spectators' chant, the Mentors called "Splotch!", and the match was on! Not even this reporter could have guessed the outcome.

Instead of Vacker or Sophie's face getting painted in pink, they struggled against each other for five minutes in an equally challenging battle before both of them went flying unexpectedly into the wall with excess force. The look on the Mentors' faces was priceless!

Vacker and Foster both ended up getting knocked unconscious and going to the Healing Center. While they were gone, the Mentors took up someone's suggestion and made the decision that Foster was the winner of the Splotching Championship. After all, Vacker did hit the wall much harder than she did.

After a brief visit to Elwin, Vacker and Foster returned to session and were met with many congratulations funneled towards Foster. There was an especially touching reunion between Vacker and his sister, Biana, who tearfully hugged him, glad that her anxiety about his health had been pacified. Foster was awarded the customary prize of the Splotching Championship (a pardon for detention) while Vacker looked on wistfully. The history books of the Elvin world will proclaim the news! It's not a fallacy; Wonderboy can get whooped!

This is Keefe Sencen, your source for information on all of Foxfire's sports. Remember: If I haven't written about it, it hasn't happened!

REEKROD PRANKSTER REMAINS UNFOUND

by Keefe Sencen

Earlier in the week, an unknown prodigy snuck into Dame Alina's pyramid office and left a hefty amount of reekrod in her desk. The perpetrator has yet to be caught, although the gnomes are keeping a sharp eye out for any suspicious characters. Prodigies, if you have any information, please contact the nearest gnome or report to Dame Alina immediately.

The Dame's Lane

by Dame Alina

Congratulations, prodigies! Last week, seven people manifested new abilities, which is a new record! In other news, midterms are coming up. Your grades need to be at seventy-five percent or higher. If you are having trouble in a specific session, please talk to a librarian or see Lady Nissa in the Tutoring Center. It is never too late to get a head start on your studying!

Also, whoever put the reekrod in my desk will be facing up to months of detention. I will not stop until I find out who you are.

Fashion Passion

by Biana Vacker

It's almost halfway through the school year, and your closet needs thinning out for upcoming new styles! To those Level One prodigies who are confused, wearing mixed socks is not hip. If you do want to go out in style with socks, try black! The color accents your Foxfire uniforms, even if we all look like idiots in capes.

Boots are also in! They're extremely useful for covering up the pockets on your ankles. For girls, the bigger the heels on the boots, the better. Boys, please do not attempt to wear boots. They will only make you look like Excelium escapees, which is exactly the opposite effect you want.

This week, certain prodigies of Foxfire will be going around with a petition to change the uniform. Please, sign and put your vote in for more stylish designs!

GREAT GULON INCIDENT STILL A MYSTERY

by Keefe Sencen

Earlier in the year, an unknown prodigy unleashed a flock of gulons into the school body during an assembly. Mass chaos ensued and most of the students ended up going home due to the stench. As with the reekrod affair, the culprit is yet to be caught. Do not fear, for Dame Alina assures us all that she will hunt him or her down.

The Moot

by Lady Wouldn't You Like to Know

A little birdie told me that Lady Galvin's cape got burned to pieces by Sophie Foster. How and why are still a mystery, but could it be that Foster is afraid of failing Midterms?

Rumor has it that Barth the Reaper, one of our gnomes who helps with agriculture, was seen vigorously attacking the weeds in the greenhouses with a spade. Are plants going to his head?

Jensi Babblos is rumored to have had his eyebrows zapped off after an extreme Elementalism session. Dex Dizznee is in the midst of whipping up a restoring elixir, but who knows what will happen when a Dizznee is involved.

Councilor Oralie was seen dancing with Councilor Kenrik at the last Solace Gala. It has been said that he asked her onto the floor at least seven times!

Lost and Found

LOST: PACK OF GULONS. IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN TO DAME ALINA'S OFFICE!

LOST: FAMILY CREST PIN. RETURN TO DEMPSEY'S LOCKER, #556

FOUND: SENSE OF STYLE BY KEEFE SENCEN!

LOST: BALDING ELIXIR. HAIL DEX DIZZNEE.

LOST: HUMAN IPOD. LAST SEEN IN KEEFE SENCEN'S HANDS. IF STOLEN, PLEASE RETURN TO SOPHIE FOSTER.

FOUND: A PRETTY NICE CAPE WITH SOME BURNS IN IT. HAIL FITZ VACKER.

Wanted

Wanted: Melbourne's Guide to Gulons. Will pay fifty lusters if the book is left under the tree by the silver towers by eight in the morning on Monday.

Wanted: Loyal subjects to call Keefe Sencen the "Lord of the Universe" for a whole week.

Wanted: A partner for ballroom dancing in detention. Please hail Valin.

Wanted: Mallowmelt recipe. Deliver to Elwin in the Healing Center.

Wanted: The Moonlark. If discovered, please deliver to a creepy dark underground hideout.

Thanks, the Neverseen.

Wanted: The Neverseen. If captured, please deliver to a creepy cave in the middle of nowhere.

Thanks, the Black Swan

Idioms for Idiots

If your skies are grey, blame the nearest Hydrokinetic. They're probably causing all the rain.

If life gives you lemons... Elves don't make lemonade.

Stars can't shine without darkness; but when they do shine, the Black Swan sure makes it a pain to bottle their light.

If April showers bring May flowers, check them. They're probably poison ivy.

If at first you don't pass midterms, bribe someone!

The only thing that limits you is yourself...and science, the Councilors, Dame Alina, Grady, Edaline, Mr. Forkle, the Black Swan, the Neverseen, Sandor, Elwin, Alden...

An imp in your home will soon clear it of unwanted insects. Of course, you'll still have the imp.

There are two kinds of elves: perfect and insane. Sometimes a combination of both.

THE END