"A Road Rover Christmas Carol"
By: McCracken
Road Rovers, MIB and anything that invole them are property of Warner Bros. The Galaxy Rovers,
and the crew of the Space Rover 2, and the Lone Dog Team are property of Kristen Coughlan.
Strayers are property of Steven Today. Huntress, Duke, and Canis are property of Greywolf Lupous.
L33T Team, Bobcat Strayers, and Phantom Canine are property of McCracken. 'A Christmas Carol' is property
of Charles Dickins. Everyone I haven't mentioned belong to other ppl that I didn't mention.
Cast:
Exile - Ebenezer Scrooge
Hunter - Bob Cratchit
Colleen - Sara Cratchit
Lucky - Tiny Tim
Rebel - Scrooge's Nephew Fred
Bud & Shag - Charity Collectors
Krista - Clara (Fred's Wife)
Blitz - Rober Marley
Napoleon - Scrooge's School's Headmaster
Corelone - Mr. Fuzzywig
Diamond - Belle
Vixy - Ghost of Christmas Past
Taco (in giant form) - Ghost of Chirstmas Present
???? - Ghost of Chirstmas Future
CJ - Random Boy
Kouv & XL766 - Has Themselves
Setting: Busy snow covered London Street. XL766 and Kouv are working a "Apples and Cheese" stand.
XL766 (Annoyed)
Jeez Kouv, how are we suppose to make any money if you keep on eating the merchandise??
Kouv
Calm down, we can sell other things besides apples and cheese.
XL766 (Annoyed)
Sell things besides apples and cheese?!? THIS IS A F******* APPLES AND CHEESE STAND! WE'RE
SUPPOSE TO SELL ONLY APPLES AND CHEESE! PEOPLE COME TO THIS STAND TO BUY
ONLY APPLES AND CHEESE NOT ANYTHING ELSE!
A man walks up to the stand.
Man (Britsh Accent)
Uh, hello, are you selling livers?
XL766 (Confused)
Livers? This is an apples and cheese stand, why would we have livers?
Man
Oops, well in that case, can I buy a pineapple?
XL766 (Confused)
Why would we have pineapples if this is an apples and cheese stand?
Man
Well, a pineapple is a bloody apple isn't it?
XL766 (Mad)
Go away.
The man walks off.
Kouv
I'm telling you man, if we would just sell....
XL766
Shut up!
XL766 and Kouv realize the camera is on.
XL766
Oops, umm, welcome to the Road Rovers presentation of the Charles Dickins' classic, "A Christmas Carol".
Because of what just happened, I would like to apologize to all children and blind people. With that being
said let's continue.
Kouv
Before we get too far into this, let me start off by saying, Robert Marley was has dead as a door nail.
XL766 (Sarcastic)
And you guys complain about me being violent.
Kouv
What? That's how it starts off.
XL766
It was sarcasism Kouv. Anyway, when Marley died, Scrooge took over the loan company. Also, Scrooge is a very
cold hearted man.
Kouv (Sarcastic)
And you're not?
XL766
Don't make me shove an apple up your ass. But going on with the story, Scrooge should be coming aroud the
corner right now.
Exile walks into the scene.
Kouv
Wow, you're good.
XL766 (Smug)
No, I just read the script.
Exile walks by the stand.
Kouv
Apple sir?
Exile
Nyet, go get real jobski.
Exile continues on.
Kouv
Talk about your jackasses.
XL766 (Leaving the stand)
Like I said, Scrooge is a heartless person.
Kouv (Confused)
Where are you going?
XL766
We're the narrators remember?
Kouv
Oh yeah.
Setting: Outside of Scrooge's Loan Company. A sign on the door reads "Scrooge & Marley" but the snow has
covered up "Scrooge". Exile walks up to it and knocks the snow off with his cane.
Exile
Ah Marley, seven years ago today you left me with the companyski. Ha ha ha ha.
Exile walks in. XL766 and Kouv look in from a window.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's Loan Company. Exile walks to the back and passes by Hunter.
Hunter
Merry Chirstmas Sir.
Exile
Chirstmas, ba humbugski.
XL766 (From outside)
Ah, Bob Cratchit. Scrooge's book keeper and his only employee.
Kouv
Why is that?
XL766
Because he's the only one stupid enough to work for him.
Hunter
Hey, I heard that!
There's a knock at the door and Rebel walks in with a wreath in his hand.
Kouv
Who's that?
XL766
That would be Scrooge's newphew, Fred, his only living relative. Didn't read the script?
Kouv
No.
Rebel
Merry Chirstmas Uncle!
Exile
Chirstmas, ba humbugski!
Rebel
Surely you can't be serious about that Uncle.
Exile
Anyone who goes around saying "Merry Christmasski" should be roasted indside his own turkey!
Rebel
On the contrary, anyone who goes around saying "Merry Christmas" should be honored.
Exile (Annoyed)
I will keep Christmasski the way I want to!
Rebel
And I shall do the same Uncle.
There's another knock at the door and Bud and Shag enter.
Exile
Who are youski?
Bud
We are from Victoria's Collection Agency. Every year, hundreds of poor and homeless people cannot celebrate
Christmas due to financial problems. We're here to collect donations for them.
Exile (Confused)
Aren't there prisons and poorhouses?
Bud
Well yes of course there are sir, but we're here to give them other options.
Rebel
Well you two came to the right place. Scrooge here loves to donate to charity.
Exile (Annoyed)
Aren't there other places for you to goski?
Rebel
Sadly, yes. Oh uncle, I was wondering if you would like to join me and Clara for dinner tomorrow night?
Exile
Marriage, the only thing that makes less sense than Christmas.
Rebel
Well sorry for falling in love Uncle. I guess you won't be joining us?
Exile
At least you can guess goodski.
Rebel
Well in that case, I'll make my donation (Rebel hands some money to Shag) and leave.
Rebel turns towards the door.
Hunter
Merry Christmas Fred.
Rebel
Merry Christmas Bob.
Rebel hangs the wreath up on the door and leaves.
Bud
Now about that donation, how much should I put you down for?
Exile
Nyet!
Bud
Oh, you want to be unamed.
Exile
Nyet, I want to be left aloneski!
Bud
But what about the poor?
Exile
They can go to the prisons and poorhouses.
Bud
But they'd rather die then go to there.
Exile (Mad)
Well then let them die, it will lower the surplus population!
Shag jumps behind Bud and whines.
Bud
Well then, come along. We won't be recieving any donations from Mr. Scrooge.
Bud and Shag leave. There's another knock at the door. Exile walks up and opens up the door. CJ is on the
door stoop singing.
CJ (Singing)
We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy
New.....
Exile slams the door and notices the wreath. Exile grabs it and opens the door again. CJ looks surprised. Exile
throws the wreath out the door and nails Buddy with it. Exile once again slams the door.
Hunter
Umm sir.
Exile
WHAT NOW?
Hunter
It's closing time.
Exile looks at the clock.
Exile
So you are right Bob. I'll see you tomorrow at 6.
Hunter
But tomorrow is Christmas Day sir.
Exile
Fine then, 6:30.
Hunter
Thirty minutes is hardly customary for Christmas Day.
Exile
Well then, tell meski, what is customary?
Hunter
The whole day sir.
Exile
The whole day?!?
Hunter
Well, other businesses will be closed tomorrow, there will be no one to do business with.
Exile
Well, seeing how Christmas is a useless holiday, and I'm the only to see that, I guess you can have the whole
day off.
Hunter (Excited)
Thank you sir!
Exile
But I want you to come in at 5 the morning after.
Hunter
I will sir, and Merry Christmas.
Hunter picks up his stuff and leaves.
Exile
Christmas, ba humbugski!
Setting: Cold Street in London. It's now night and Exile is getting off of a trolley. XL766 and Kouv are walking
behind the trolley.
Kouv (Shivering)
Why couldn't we take a trolley?
XL766
Because that would be too noticible, now quit you're whining. Anyway, Scrooge lived in an old house that
his business partner Robert Marley once lived in. Now, I ask you once more to remember that Rober Marley
was dead and decaying in his grave....
Kouv (Disgusted, eating an apple)
Hey, I'm trying to eat here.
XL766 (Continuing and ignoring Kouv)
If you forget that, then you're pretty dumb and the rest of this requires way more intelligence than you have.
Exile walks up to the door. A sudden breeze blows by. The door knocker is slowly replaced by Blitz's face. Exile
looks shocked.
Blitz
Sccccccccccrrrrrrrroooooggggeeee....
Blitz's face disappears.
Exile
Humbugski.
Exile opens up the door.
XL766
To say that Exile wasn't thinking "What the hell?" would be incorrect.
XL766 and Kouv walks towards the door, but Exile slams it in XL766's face.
Kouv (Eating an apple)
Guess he doesn't want us to come in.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's House. Exile is walking up a dark staircase, holding out a candle to see.
XL766 (Voice only)
Desipte what happened at the door, Scrooge continued on in the dark. The dark was cheap, and Scrooge liked it.
Setting: Outside of Scrooge's House. XL766 and Kouv are standing by the door.
Kouv (Confused, eating an apple)
Whoa, how do you know what's going on in there, when we're out here?
XL766 (Annoyed)
I'm a narrator, I have omnipotent powers. I see all and know all.
Kouv (Defensive, eating an apple)
Well excuse me, almighty god-like figure.
XL766 (Ignoring Kouv)
However, to conduct a proper search, Scrooge had to light all of the lamps.
The lights begin to come on in side the house.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's Bedroom. Exile is looking around and stops.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's Bedroom. Exile is now sitting in front of a fireplace, eating some cheese. A bell
by the fireplace rings once. Exile pays no attention to it. The bell begins to ring once more and Exile looks
confused at it. The bell stops and Exile goes back to eating cheese. The bell starts to ring and continues. The
clock tolls 12. The fire stops and an eeire smoke rises out of the staircase in his room. Exile slowly turns towards
it and then Blitz (in ghost form with chains tied on him) appears.
Exile (Confused, Scared)
Who are you?
Blitz
In life I was you're business partner Robert Marley.
Exile (Trying to reassure himself)
Don't be weird boy. You're dead.
Blitz (Annoyed)
STOP CALLING ME THAT! CAN'T YOU SHOW A BIT OF MERCY TOWARDS THE DEAD?!?!
Exile
Not when they're weird boy.
Blitz (Calming down)
Well, don't you want to ask me about the chains around me?
Exile
No, but I do want you to get outski!
Blitz (Ignoring Exile)
Their my chains that I forged during my actions and greed in life, but their nothing compared to the chains you'll
be wearing once you die.
Exile (Confused)
What do you meanski?
Blitz
You're greed will create chains for you to wear once you die. However, I'm here to give you a second chance.
Exile (Relieved)
Phew.
Blitz
You will be haunted by three ghosts tonight.
Exile (Scared)
Three?!? One's just enough.
Blitz (Leaving)
Expect the first ghost when the clock tolls one.
Blitz leaves and everything returns to the way it was.
Setting: Outside of Scrooge's House. XL766 and Kouv are standing by the door.
XL766
And with that, Scrooge was left in his room, alone once more.
Kouv (Concerned, eating an apple)
Hey, this is some pretty scary stuff, shouldn't we worry about some kid reading this?
XL766
Nah, it's culture.
Kouv (Handing his apple out to XL766)
Oh. Want an apple?
XL766 just stares at his stupidity. Kouv looks at XL766 for a few seconds and then sarcatically kisses him on
the nose.
Setting: Gate to Scrooge's backyard. XL766 is already in Scrooge's back yard and Kouv is climbing up the gate.
Kouv
Are you sure this is ok?
XL766
Hey, you did want to see what was going on inside didn't you?
Kouv
Well, yeah, but this is breaking and entering.
XL766
Hey, it's 19th century Brition, there's a lot worse going on right now then this.
Kouv
Oh, yeah?
XL766
I mean, come on here, Jack the Ripper is out there killing whores like it's is job.
A shifty man runs by the gate laughing.
Kouv
You want to do something about that?
XL766 (Sarcastic)
Nah, we're busy right now. We'll hunt him down with a Howitzer later. No quit stalling and jump.
Kouv
But I'll hurt myself!
XL766
No you won't, I'll catch you.
Kouv
Promise?
XL766
Promise.
Kouv
Ok, here I go.
Kouv jumps off the gate. XL766 opens up his arms towards him, but something distracts him.
XL766
Oooh, a hay penny!
XL766 picks up the hay penny and Kouv crashes into the snow. XL766 looks over at Kouv (who's looking
really annoyed)
XL766 (Blunt)
Oops.
Kouv
Oh man, I left my apple on the other side of the gate.
XL766 (Under his breath)
Thank god.
Kouv walks over to the gate and bites off a large section of it. Kouv then walks through the gate, grabs his apple,
and walks back. XL766 just stares at him.
Kouv (Confused)
What?
XL766 (Annoyed)
You could bite through that gate the entire time?
Kouv
Well, yeah.
XL766 continues to stare at him.
Kouv (Confused)
What?
XL766 (Mad, turning away)
You're a complete idiot.
Kouv (Confused)
What? What did I do?
Setting: Side of Scrooge's house. XL766 sets a ladder up to Scrooge's window and him and Kouv climb up it.
Kouv (Scared)
You know, someone could really break something up here.
XL766 (Annoyed)
Come on, we're almost there.
Setting: Inside of Scrooge's Room. The clock tolls one. Exile opens up an eye and looks around the room.
Nothing happens. Exile shrugs and rolls over.
Setting: Side of Scrooge's House. Same as before.
XL766 (Shouting)
Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one!
Kouv
You're going to wake him up.
XL766
He's suppose to wake up.
Kouv
Oh, my bad.
Setting: Inside of Scrooge's Room. A blinding light fills the room and Vixy appears.
Exile (Confused)
Are you the spirit I was foretold about?
Vixy
Yes, I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Exile
Humbug, we'll live the past where it belongski.
Exile rolls over and falls back asleep.
Vixy (To herself)
You know, maybe I went about this the wrong way.
Vixy walks up to Exile and kicks him out of bed. Exile looks shocked.
Vixy (Mad)
I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past, mess with me and I'll kick your ass! (Calming down) Now, let's begin, I only
have you until the clock tolls two, and I need to show you all the places you totally screwed up.
Vixy walks up to the window and opens it revealing XL766 and Kouv on the ladder.
Vixy (Happy)
Hey guys.
XL766 & Kouv
Hi.
Vixy
You guys are the narrators right?
XL766
Well I am, Kouv's been slacking.
Vixy (Sarcastic)
You don't say. Well, I got to use this window, so out you go!
Vixy gently pushes on the ladder, causing the ladder to fall backwards with Kouv and XL766 on it.
Vixy (Turning back towards Exile)
Now that we've taken care of that, let's go.
Exile (Confused)
But I can't flyski.
Vixy
Don't worry, a touch of my hand and you'll be able to fly.
Exile grabs Vixy's hand and they fly out the window.
Setting: Scrooge's backyard. XL766, Kouv, and the ladder are lying on the ground.
XL766
I really do hate that fox.
The ladder begins to float up and fly towards Vixy. XL766 jumps up and hangs it, flying with it.
Kouv
Hey, wait for me!
Kouv jumps and hangs on to XL766's leg. Up ahead of Vixy and Exile is a bright light.
Exile
Spirit, what's that up aheadski?
Vixy
You'll find out in a sec.
Exile and Vixy fly into the light. XL766 and Kouv (holding onto the ladder) follow in.
Setting: School House in the past. Vixy and Exile land next to it. XL766 and Kouv land in a snow bank.
Kouv (Concerned)
XL766, are you ok?
XL766 (Unphased)
Infront of Scrooge was his old school house.
Setting: Inside school house. A young Exile is writing on some paper. Two other young Cano-Sapines run by.
Cano-Sapien #1 (Excited)
Come on Ebenezer, it's Christmas!
Young Exile (Mad)
Who cares about stupid old Christmaski anyway?
Cano-Sapien #2 (Excited)
Suit yourself!
Vixy and Exile walk in.
Vixy
Does he look familiar?
Exile
Of course he doeski, he's me!
XL766 and Kouv look in through the window. Has Exile continues to write, he slowly grows older until he
becames about 19. Napoleon walks in.
Napoleon (Thick Frence Accent)
Bonjour Scrooge.
Young Exile
Hello headmaster.
Vixy
Do you remember him?
Exile
Of course, he was my headmaster. I learned everything from him.
Napoleon
Well, today you begin your quest into BUSINESS. Ah, I remember when I first went into BUSINESS. Then those
damn Brits and Austrains coming to Waterloo spoiled all of it.
Young Exile (Slightly confused)
Yes sir.
Exile
Well, maybe I didn't learn everything from him.
Napoleon
Well anyway, the carriage is waiting to take you to BUSINESS. For, it is zhe Frence way!
XL766 taps on the window. Napoleon walks up to it and opens it. XL766 whispers into Napoleon's ear.
Napoleon
We, we, we. Ah, we.
Napoleon walks back over to young Exile.
Napoleon
My mistake, it is zhe Bristish way.
Vixy
Shall we go to another Christmas memory?
Setting: Infront of the Fuzzywig's office building. Vixy and Exile are right in front of it. XL766 and Kouv are
on the ladder, lighting a street lamp.
XL766
And Scrooge found himself at his orginal employer's building, Mr. Fuzzywig.
Kouv, not paying attention, accidently lights his hand on fire.
Kouv (Paniced)
Ah, XL766, I'm on fire!
XL766
Calm down.
XL766 looks around and sees a barrel of water underneath them. XL766 pushes Kouv into.
Vixy
Do you remember this?
Exile (Excited)
Of couse I doski! This is Mr.Fuzzywig's building!
Vixy (Sarcastic)
Whoopie, he remembers something. Let's go inside, I only have you for ten more minutes.
Setting: Inside the Fuzzywig's. There's a massive Christmas Party going on. A young Exile approaches Corelone.
Vixy and Exile enter.
Young Exile (Concerned)
Mr. Fuzzywig, do you have any idea how much money this party is going to cost?
Corlone (Thick Italian accent)
Ah, Ebenezer, do not worry about financle problems now. It's Christmas, go and mingle.
XL766 walks in, with a frozen Kouv over his shoulder.
XL766 (Annoyed)
I swear you're such a whosie.
Kouv (Frozen, mad)
Urge to kill rising....
XL766 sits Kouv next to a fire. Amber walks by and winks at XL766.
XL766 (To Kouv, sarcastic)
I'm going to go take a small 'break'. When you unthaw, take over narrating duty until I get back.
XL766 follows Amber out of the scene.
Exile is looking around the party until Vixy gives him a hard elbow.
Exile
Oh, what was that forski?
Vixy (Pointing to Diamond)
I was going to ask you who's that?
Exile
That's Belle.
Corelone (Introducing Exile to Diamond)
Ebenezer, I would like you to meet Belle. She is a friend of the Family.
Diamond
Hello Ebenezer.
Young Exile
Hello Belleski. Oh, I mean Belle.
Diamond giggles.
XL766 walks back into the scene, his face covered with lipstick.
XL766
Ok Kouv, what did I miss?
Kouv (Sarcastic)
I think I should be asking that question.
Vixy
Shall we go to another Christmas memory with Belle?
Exile (Upset)
No spiritski, please.
Setting: Snow covered park. A Young Exile is walking next to Diamond. Vixy and Exile appear.
Young Exile
Well Belleski, I was able to foreclose some low class houses to get us more money.
Diamond
Ebenezer, there's something I need to tell you?
Young Exile (Concerned)
Is it about financial problems?
Diamond
No, it's about us.
Young Exile (Realived)
Phew.
Diamond
Ebenezer, it's over.
Young Exile (Confused)
What's over?
Diamond
Our relationship, all you care about is money, you speak nothing of us.
Young Exile (Confused)
What do you mean? Money is what keeps us from living on the streetsski?
Diamond (Upset)
Oh, just forget about it.
Diamond walks off, crying. Young Exile is still confused.
Exile (Mad)
Why spirit? Why have you shown me this?
Vixy (Sarcastic)
Well duh, it's to show you that you've totally screwed up in life.
Vixy looks at her watch.
Vixy
Well, it's almost two. It's time for you to meet the next spirit. And remember, you created these memories yourself.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's room. Exile walks up and looks around. Everything is the same, except the clock is at
one fifty-six.
Setting: Scrooge's backyard. XL766 (without lipstick on his face) and Kouv are in the yard.
XL766
And Scrooge found himself once more, alone in his room. Sorry we weren't in that last scene folks.
Kouv (Sarcastic)
XL766 had to wipe the lipstick off.
XL766
At least I've got a girlfriend Mister Trying To Hit on Rebel's Girlfriend.
Kouv (Mad)
HEY! I never knew she was going out with him! And besides, I'm going out with Sheila!
XL766 (Sarcastic)
What Sheila sees in you, I'll never know.
Kouv (Mad)
Same thing goes for Amber, she's deserves way better than you!
XL766 opens his mouth to say a come back, but Exile opens up the window.
Exile (Mad)
Will you two shut upski!
Exile slams the window close.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's room. Exile turns around and sees Taco (in giant form).
Taco (Hispanic accent)
Hola, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present come and meet me better amigo.
Exile (Confused)
I didn't know Mexicans celebrated Christmas.
Taco (Annoyed)
Ever hear of Feliz Navidad? Anyway, touch my robe and we'll get started.
Setting: Outside of Fred's house, Christmas Day. Taco and Exile appear outside of the house. XL766 and Kouv
are across the street.
XL766
Scrooge found himself in front of his newphew Fred's house.
Kouv (Mad)
Screw this part, I'm not going near Krista and Rebel's house.
Kouv stomps off the scene.
XL766 (Sarcastic)
You see, there is a God.
Taco
Do you know who's casa this is?
Exile
Of courseski, it's Fred's.
Taco
Si, let's go inside.
Taco leads Exile in.
Setting: Inside Fred's house, dining room. Rebel and Krista are eating Christmas Dinner.
Krista (Scottish Accent)
So I guess your uncle's not coming.
Rebel (Sarcastic)
No, he'd rather count his money, again.
Krista (Laughing)
You really shouldn't speak so lowly of your own uncle.
Rebel
You're right, Scrooge isn't that bad when he's not talking about money.
Krista (Confused)
But Scrooge always talks about money.
Rebel (Smug)
Exactly.
Both Rebel and Krista laugh. Exile looks upset.
Exile (Upset)
Let's go spirit.
Taco
Ok, we have another casa to visit.
Setting: Outside of Bob Cratchit's house. Taco and Exile appear outside of it. Once more, XL766 is across the
street.
XL766
Scrooge then found himself in a poor side of town and in front of the house of Bob Crachit.
Exile
Where are weski?
Taco
We are at Bob Crachit's casa. Come on, let's go in.
Taco and Exile walk in.
Setting: Inside of Bob Cratchit's house. Colleen is cooking a turkey the size of a parrot. Hunter walks in and walks
through Exile and Taco.
Hunter (Happy)
Hi Sara.
Colleen (Happy, British Accent)
Hi Bob.
Lucky (In crutches) hobbles in. Exile smiles at him.
Lucky (Happy)
Daddy!
Lucky hobbles over to Hunter and hugs him. Lucky then begins to cough. Hunter and Colleen give a concerned
look.
Hunter (Worried)
Calm down son. Are ready to eat?
Colleen
Yes, Tim, why don't you go set the table.
Lucky
Ok.
Lucky hobbles over to the table and sets it. Hunter sits down and Colleen brings over the turkey. Lucky sits down.
Hunter
Shall I say a prayer?
Colleen nods her head 'yes'.
Hunter (Praying)
May everyone have a Merry Christmas and God bless them.
Lucky (Praying, Happy)
God bless us, everyone!
Hunter (Raising his glass)
To Scrooge, the founder of the feast.
Colleen (Mad)
Scrooge, the founder of the feast? You mean: 'Scrooge, the man who works you like a slave'. Why I oughta give
him such a kick...
Hunter (Interrupting)
Sara please, Tim. Besides, without the money I get from him we wouldn't be having this feast at all.
Lucky (Raising his glass)
To Scrooge, the founder of the feast!
Colleen (Calming down. raising her glass)
To Scrooge, may he be happy with his money, blah, blah, blah.
Exile
Tell me spirit, will Tim liveski?
Taco
No, veo una silla vacía donde Tim se sienta.
Exile (Confused)
Eh?
Taco
Sorry, I meant no, I see an empty chair where Tim sits. But if he's going to die he better hurry and lower the surplus
population. Now it's time for us to go.
Taco and Exile disappear.
Setting: Graveyard. Taco and Exile reappear. XL766 pokes his head out from behind a grave.
XL766
And we that thought in his head, Scrooge followed the Ghost of Chritmas Present.
Kouv comes running back into the scene.
Kouv (Annoyed)
Why didn't you tell me that we had left Rebel's house?
XL766 (Smug)
You never asked, no sit down and shut up.
Exile (Confused)
Spirit, why are we hereski?
Taco
Because it is time for me to go and for you to meet the finial spirit. Go and know him better amigo.
Taco slowly disappears, leaving Exile alone.
Kouv (Scared)
Wait a minute, isn't this the freaky part with the Ghost of Christmas Future?
XL766
Yeah, why?
Kouv (Scared)
Well then, I'm outta here. This guy freaks me out. Besides, it's pretty self-explainitory anyway.
XL766
Come on you wimp.
A black swirling vortex appears in front of Exile.
XL766 (Sarcastic)
On second, I could use some more 'personal time' with Amber. We'll see you folks at the finale.
XL766 and Kouv walk out of the scene. Out of the vortex, a cloaked shape lands in front of Exile.
Exile (Sacred)
Are you the spirit I was told aboutski?
The spirit shakes his head yes and points into the vortex. Exile and the spirit walk in it.
Setting: Bob Cratchit's House. The spirit and Exile appear in front of it.
Exile (Happy)
Thank you spiritski.
The spirit points at the house. Exile walks in.
Setting: Inside Bob Cratchit's house. Hunter and Colleen are sitting at the dinner table. Colleen is on the verge
of tears and Hunter just looks upset.
Hunter (Trying to comfort Colleen)
Sara, life is full of meetings and partings. And Tim's parting (A tear comes down his face) was one we knew
would happen and now, he's in a far better place.
Colleen (Crying)
What do you mean 'better place'? We could hardly afford a proper burial for him!
Colleen puts her head against the table and burts into tears. Hunter begins to cry as well. A tear comes down
Exile's eye.
Exile
Tell me spirit, why do they not have moneyski?
The spirit waves his hand and they disappear.
Setting: Graveyard. Exile and the spirit appear in front of a grave. The spirit points at it.
Exile
Tell me spiritski, are these the images of things that will or things that might?
The spirit once more, points at the grave.
Exile
Spiritski, a dog can chage can't he?
The spirit points an annoyed finger at the grave.
Exile
And if a dog can change, so can all of this.
The spirit angrily points both hands at the grave. Exile turns to the grave and sees "Ebenezer Scrooge" on it.
Exile turns to the spirit.
Exile
No, this cannot be true.
Exile falls to his knees and begins to cry.
Exile (Crying)
I'm sorry spiritski, I'm sorry for everything.
Exile accidently pulls off the spirit's cloaking, revealing Tramp.
Exile (Surprised)
Trampski?
Tramp (Mad)
Man, I was SO close to having a serious role, but NO, you just had to pull off my cloak didn't you? Oh, well,
it's time for you to go back.
Setting: Scrooge's room. Exile wakes up and looks around.
Exile (Happy)
It was dreamski. Oh thank you spirits! I'll keep Christmas in the past, the present, and the future. I've got so much
to doski!
Setting: Side of Scrooge's house. XL766 and Kouv are on a ladder next to Scrooge's window.
XL766
And Scrooge awoken a new dog. Hey folks, we're back just like we said we would be.
Kouv (Worried)
Are you sure it's safe up here? I mean, remember what happened last time?
XL766
Hey, Scrooge is a changed dog, what's the worst that could happen?
Exile opens up the window, knocking Kouv and XL766 off.
Exile (Pointing at CJ)
Tell me boy, what day is thisski?
CJ (Confused)
Why, it's Christmas.
Exile (Happy)
Oh boy, I didn't miss it! The spirits did it all in one night, spirits can do that you know.
CJ (Confused)
Umm, yeah.
Exile (Happy)
Tell me boy, is that turkey still at the butcher shop?
CJ (Confused)
You mean the one that's almost as big has me? Yes sir, it's still there.
Exile (Happy, throwing two bags of money at CJ)
Excellent, here's two bags of money. One's for you to buy the turkey for me, the other is for a job well done.
CJ looks confused for a second, and then realizes what Exile said. CJ smiles and picks up the money.
CJ (Happy)
Yes sir, where do you want me to take the turkey to?
Exile (Happy)
Take it to Bob Cratchit's house.
Setting: Out in the street. Exile is greeting everyone he meets by saying 'Merry Christmas'. XL766 and Kouv are
following him.
XL766
So Scrooge set out to do everything he could and greet everyone with a 'Merry Christmas'.
Exile turns around to XL766 and Kouv.
Exile (Happy)
Merry Christmas!
Exile turns around and runs into Bud and Shag. Shag jumps behind Bud and whines.
Bud (Unsure)
Uh, Merry Christmas, Mr. Scrooge.
Exile (Stern)
Tell meski, are you two still collecting for charity?
Bud (Unsure)
Yes sir.
Exile (Happy)
Well then, put me down for....
Exile whispers into Bud's ear. Bud looks shocked and his ears perk up.
Bud (Amazed)
That much sir?!?!
Exile (Happy)
And not a penny less. Merry Christmas.
Bud (Still amazed)
Yes, Merry Christmas.
Shag shakes Exile's hand. Exile continues down the street until he runs into Rebel.
Rebel (Surprised)
Ah, Merry Christmas Uncle.
Exile (Stern)
Merry Christmas, ba humbug. Tell me Fred, are you and Clara still having Christmas dinner?
Rebel
Yes Uncle.
Exile (Happy)
Well then, is it still too late for me to join you?
Rebel (Shocked)
You really mean it Uncle?
Exile (Happy)
Of course I do, I'll see you later Fred.
CJ (carrying a giant turkey)
Shall we go sir?
Exile (Happy)
Yes, follow meski!
Setting: Outside of Bob Cratchit's House. Exile makes CJ duck out of sight. Exile sternly knocks on the door.
Hunter answers?
Hunter (Surprised, Scared)
Oh, hello sir.
Exile (Stern)
Mr. Cratchit, why were you not at work today?
Hunter (Scared)
Well sir, you told me I could have the whole day off.
Exile (Stern)
I said no such thing.
Colleen steps out in between Exile and Hunter.
Colleen (Mad)
Look here Scrooge, I've had about enough of you coming around here pushing Bob around!
Hunter (Scared)
Sara, please control yourself.
Exile (Stern)
What if I were to say that I was about to make Bob my partner and increase his pay?
Colleen (Mad)
What if I were to kick your bloody a... What did you say?
Exile (Happy)
I wish to make Bob my partner and increase his pay. Now, I also have a turkey for you.
Exile waves his hand and CJ comes in with the giant turkey. They all go inside. XL766 and Kouv walk into the
scene.
XL766
And with that, Scrooge became a better dog than he ever was.
Kouv (Worried)
And what about Tim?
XL766
And as for Tim, who did NOT die, (Kouv smiles) Scrooge became like a second father to him. And as Tim put,
God bless us, everyone. (Sarcastic) Now enough of this crap, Kouv, let's go get the Howitzer and hunt down
Jack the Ripper!
Kouv (Happy)
Aye, aye, captian.
The End
By: McCracken
Road Rovers, MIB and anything that invole them are property of Warner Bros. The Galaxy Rovers,
and the crew of the Space Rover 2, and the Lone Dog Team are property of Kristen Coughlan.
Strayers are property of Steven Today. Huntress, Duke, and Canis are property of Greywolf Lupous.
L33T Team, Bobcat Strayers, and Phantom Canine are property of McCracken. 'A Christmas Carol' is property
of Charles Dickins. Everyone I haven't mentioned belong to other ppl that I didn't mention.
Cast:
Exile - Ebenezer Scrooge
Hunter - Bob Cratchit
Colleen - Sara Cratchit
Lucky - Tiny Tim
Rebel - Scrooge's Nephew Fred
Bud & Shag - Charity Collectors
Krista - Clara (Fred's Wife)
Blitz - Rober Marley
Napoleon - Scrooge's School's Headmaster
Corelone - Mr. Fuzzywig
Diamond - Belle
Vixy - Ghost of Christmas Past
Taco (in giant form) - Ghost of Chirstmas Present
???? - Ghost of Chirstmas Future
CJ - Random Boy
Kouv & XL766 - Has Themselves
Setting: Busy snow covered London Street. XL766 and Kouv are working a "Apples and Cheese" stand.
XL766 (Annoyed)
Jeez Kouv, how are we suppose to make any money if you keep on eating the merchandise??
Kouv
Calm down, we can sell other things besides apples and cheese.
XL766 (Annoyed)
Sell things besides apples and cheese?!? THIS IS A F******* APPLES AND CHEESE STAND! WE'RE
SUPPOSE TO SELL ONLY APPLES AND CHEESE! PEOPLE COME TO THIS STAND TO BUY
ONLY APPLES AND CHEESE NOT ANYTHING ELSE!
A man walks up to the stand.
Man (Britsh Accent)
Uh, hello, are you selling livers?
XL766 (Confused)
Livers? This is an apples and cheese stand, why would we have livers?
Man
Oops, well in that case, can I buy a pineapple?
XL766 (Confused)
Why would we have pineapples if this is an apples and cheese stand?
Man
Well, a pineapple is a bloody apple isn't it?
XL766 (Mad)
Go away.
The man walks off.
Kouv
I'm telling you man, if we would just sell....
XL766
Shut up!
XL766 and Kouv realize the camera is on.
XL766
Oops, umm, welcome to the Road Rovers presentation of the Charles Dickins' classic, "A Christmas Carol".
Because of what just happened, I would like to apologize to all children and blind people. With that being
said let's continue.
Kouv
Before we get too far into this, let me start off by saying, Robert Marley was has dead as a door nail.
XL766 (Sarcastic)
And you guys complain about me being violent.
Kouv
What? That's how it starts off.
XL766
It was sarcasism Kouv. Anyway, when Marley died, Scrooge took over the loan company. Also, Scrooge is a very
cold hearted man.
Kouv (Sarcastic)
And you're not?
XL766
Don't make me shove an apple up your ass. But going on with the story, Scrooge should be coming aroud the
corner right now.
Exile walks into the scene.
Kouv
Wow, you're good.
XL766 (Smug)
No, I just read the script.
Exile walks by the stand.
Kouv
Apple sir?
Exile
Nyet, go get real jobski.
Exile continues on.
Kouv
Talk about your jackasses.
XL766 (Leaving the stand)
Like I said, Scrooge is a heartless person.
Kouv (Confused)
Where are you going?
XL766
We're the narrators remember?
Kouv
Oh yeah.
Setting: Outside of Scrooge's Loan Company. A sign on the door reads "Scrooge & Marley" but the snow has
covered up "Scrooge". Exile walks up to it and knocks the snow off with his cane.
Exile
Ah Marley, seven years ago today you left me with the companyski. Ha ha ha ha.
Exile walks in. XL766 and Kouv look in from a window.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's Loan Company. Exile walks to the back and passes by Hunter.
Hunter
Merry Chirstmas Sir.
Exile
Chirstmas, ba humbugski.
XL766 (From outside)
Ah, Bob Cratchit. Scrooge's book keeper and his only employee.
Kouv
Why is that?
XL766
Because he's the only one stupid enough to work for him.
Hunter
Hey, I heard that!
There's a knock at the door and Rebel walks in with a wreath in his hand.
Kouv
Who's that?
XL766
That would be Scrooge's newphew, Fred, his only living relative. Didn't read the script?
Kouv
No.
Rebel
Merry Chirstmas Uncle!
Exile
Chirstmas, ba humbugski!
Rebel
Surely you can't be serious about that Uncle.
Exile
Anyone who goes around saying "Merry Christmasski" should be roasted indside his own turkey!
Rebel
On the contrary, anyone who goes around saying "Merry Christmas" should be honored.
Exile (Annoyed)
I will keep Christmasski the way I want to!
Rebel
And I shall do the same Uncle.
There's another knock at the door and Bud and Shag enter.
Exile
Who are youski?
Bud
We are from Victoria's Collection Agency. Every year, hundreds of poor and homeless people cannot celebrate
Christmas due to financial problems. We're here to collect donations for them.
Exile (Confused)
Aren't there prisons and poorhouses?
Bud
Well yes of course there are sir, but we're here to give them other options.
Rebel
Well you two came to the right place. Scrooge here loves to donate to charity.
Exile (Annoyed)
Aren't there other places for you to goski?
Rebel
Sadly, yes. Oh uncle, I was wondering if you would like to join me and Clara for dinner tomorrow night?
Exile
Marriage, the only thing that makes less sense than Christmas.
Rebel
Well sorry for falling in love Uncle. I guess you won't be joining us?
Exile
At least you can guess goodski.
Rebel
Well in that case, I'll make my donation (Rebel hands some money to Shag) and leave.
Rebel turns towards the door.
Hunter
Merry Christmas Fred.
Rebel
Merry Christmas Bob.
Rebel hangs the wreath up on the door and leaves.
Bud
Now about that donation, how much should I put you down for?
Exile
Nyet!
Bud
Oh, you want to be unamed.
Exile
Nyet, I want to be left aloneski!
Bud
But what about the poor?
Exile
They can go to the prisons and poorhouses.
Bud
But they'd rather die then go to there.
Exile (Mad)
Well then let them die, it will lower the surplus population!
Shag jumps behind Bud and whines.
Bud
Well then, come along. We won't be recieving any donations from Mr. Scrooge.
Bud and Shag leave. There's another knock at the door. Exile walks up and opens up the door. CJ is on the
door stoop singing.
CJ (Singing)
We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy
New.....
Exile slams the door and notices the wreath. Exile grabs it and opens the door again. CJ looks surprised. Exile
throws the wreath out the door and nails Buddy with it. Exile once again slams the door.
Hunter
Umm sir.
Exile
WHAT NOW?
Hunter
It's closing time.
Exile looks at the clock.
Exile
So you are right Bob. I'll see you tomorrow at 6.
Hunter
But tomorrow is Christmas Day sir.
Exile
Fine then, 6:30.
Hunter
Thirty minutes is hardly customary for Christmas Day.
Exile
Well then, tell meski, what is customary?
Hunter
The whole day sir.
Exile
The whole day?!?
Hunter
Well, other businesses will be closed tomorrow, there will be no one to do business with.
Exile
Well, seeing how Christmas is a useless holiday, and I'm the only to see that, I guess you can have the whole
day off.
Hunter (Excited)
Thank you sir!
Exile
But I want you to come in at 5 the morning after.
Hunter
I will sir, and Merry Christmas.
Hunter picks up his stuff and leaves.
Exile
Christmas, ba humbugski!
Setting: Cold Street in London. It's now night and Exile is getting off of a trolley. XL766 and Kouv are walking
behind the trolley.
Kouv (Shivering)
Why couldn't we take a trolley?
XL766
Because that would be too noticible, now quit you're whining. Anyway, Scrooge lived in an old house that
his business partner Robert Marley once lived in. Now, I ask you once more to remember that Rober Marley
was dead and decaying in his grave....
Kouv (Disgusted, eating an apple)
Hey, I'm trying to eat here.
XL766 (Continuing and ignoring Kouv)
If you forget that, then you're pretty dumb and the rest of this requires way more intelligence than you have.
Exile walks up to the door. A sudden breeze blows by. The door knocker is slowly replaced by Blitz's face. Exile
looks shocked.
Blitz
Sccccccccccrrrrrrrroooooggggeeee....
Blitz's face disappears.
Exile
Humbugski.
Exile opens up the door.
XL766
To say that Exile wasn't thinking "What the hell?" would be incorrect.
XL766 and Kouv walks towards the door, but Exile slams it in XL766's face.
Kouv (Eating an apple)
Guess he doesn't want us to come in.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's House. Exile is walking up a dark staircase, holding out a candle to see.
XL766 (Voice only)
Desipte what happened at the door, Scrooge continued on in the dark. The dark was cheap, and Scrooge liked it.
Setting: Outside of Scrooge's House. XL766 and Kouv are standing by the door.
Kouv (Confused, eating an apple)
Whoa, how do you know what's going on in there, when we're out here?
XL766 (Annoyed)
I'm a narrator, I have omnipotent powers. I see all and know all.
Kouv (Defensive, eating an apple)
Well excuse me, almighty god-like figure.
XL766 (Ignoring Kouv)
However, to conduct a proper search, Scrooge had to light all of the lamps.
The lights begin to come on in side the house.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's Bedroom. Exile is looking around and stops.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's Bedroom. Exile is now sitting in front of a fireplace, eating some cheese. A bell
by the fireplace rings once. Exile pays no attention to it. The bell begins to ring once more and Exile looks
confused at it. The bell stops and Exile goes back to eating cheese. The bell starts to ring and continues. The
clock tolls 12. The fire stops and an eeire smoke rises out of the staircase in his room. Exile slowly turns towards
it and then Blitz (in ghost form with chains tied on him) appears.
Exile (Confused, Scared)
Who are you?
Blitz
In life I was you're business partner Robert Marley.
Exile (Trying to reassure himself)
Don't be weird boy. You're dead.
Blitz (Annoyed)
STOP CALLING ME THAT! CAN'T YOU SHOW A BIT OF MERCY TOWARDS THE DEAD?!?!
Exile
Not when they're weird boy.
Blitz (Calming down)
Well, don't you want to ask me about the chains around me?
Exile
No, but I do want you to get outski!
Blitz (Ignoring Exile)
Their my chains that I forged during my actions and greed in life, but their nothing compared to the chains you'll
be wearing once you die.
Exile (Confused)
What do you meanski?
Blitz
You're greed will create chains for you to wear once you die. However, I'm here to give you a second chance.
Exile (Relieved)
Phew.
Blitz
You will be haunted by three ghosts tonight.
Exile (Scared)
Three?!? One's just enough.
Blitz (Leaving)
Expect the first ghost when the clock tolls one.
Blitz leaves and everything returns to the way it was.
Setting: Outside of Scrooge's House. XL766 and Kouv are standing by the door.
XL766
And with that, Scrooge was left in his room, alone once more.
Kouv (Concerned, eating an apple)
Hey, this is some pretty scary stuff, shouldn't we worry about some kid reading this?
XL766
Nah, it's culture.
Kouv (Handing his apple out to XL766)
Oh. Want an apple?
XL766 just stares at his stupidity. Kouv looks at XL766 for a few seconds and then sarcatically kisses him on
the nose.
Setting: Gate to Scrooge's backyard. XL766 is already in Scrooge's back yard and Kouv is climbing up the gate.
Kouv
Are you sure this is ok?
XL766
Hey, you did want to see what was going on inside didn't you?
Kouv
Well, yeah, but this is breaking and entering.
XL766
Hey, it's 19th century Brition, there's a lot worse going on right now then this.
Kouv
Oh, yeah?
XL766
I mean, come on here, Jack the Ripper is out there killing whores like it's is job.
A shifty man runs by the gate laughing.
Kouv
You want to do something about that?
XL766 (Sarcastic)
Nah, we're busy right now. We'll hunt him down with a Howitzer later. No quit stalling and jump.
Kouv
But I'll hurt myself!
XL766
No you won't, I'll catch you.
Kouv
Promise?
XL766
Promise.
Kouv
Ok, here I go.
Kouv jumps off the gate. XL766 opens up his arms towards him, but something distracts him.
XL766
Oooh, a hay penny!
XL766 picks up the hay penny and Kouv crashes into the snow. XL766 looks over at Kouv (who's looking
really annoyed)
XL766 (Blunt)
Oops.
Kouv
Oh man, I left my apple on the other side of the gate.
XL766 (Under his breath)
Thank god.
Kouv walks over to the gate and bites off a large section of it. Kouv then walks through the gate, grabs his apple,
and walks back. XL766 just stares at him.
Kouv (Confused)
What?
XL766 (Annoyed)
You could bite through that gate the entire time?
Kouv
Well, yeah.
XL766 continues to stare at him.
Kouv (Confused)
What?
XL766 (Mad, turning away)
You're a complete idiot.
Kouv (Confused)
What? What did I do?
Setting: Side of Scrooge's house. XL766 sets a ladder up to Scrooge's window and him and Kouv climb up it.
Kouv (Scared)
You know, someone could really break something up here.
XL766 (Annoyed)
Come on, we're almost there.
Setting: Inside of Scrooge's Room. The clock tolls one. Exile opens up an eye and looks around the room.
Nothing happens. Exile shrugs and rolls over.
Setting: Side of Scrooge's House. Same as before.
XL766 (Shouting)
Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one!
Kouv
You're going to wake him up.
XL766
He's suppose to wake up.
Kouv
Oh, my bad.
Setting: Inside of Scrooge's Room. A blinding light fills the room and Vixy appears.
Exile (Confused)
Are you the spirit I was foretold about?
Vixy
Yes, I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Exile
Humbug, we'll live the past where it belongski.
Exile rolls over and falls back asleep.
Vixy (To herself)
You know, maybe I went about this the wrong way.
Vixy walks up to Exile and kicks him out of bed. Exile looks shocked.
Vixy (Mad)
I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past, mess with me and I'll kick your ass! (Calming down) Now, let's begin, I only
have you until the clock tolls two, and I need to show you all the places you totally screwed up.
Vixy walks up to the window and opens it revealing XL766 and Kouv on the ladder.
Vixy (Happy)
Hey guys.
XL766 & Kouv
Hi.
Vixy
You guys are the narrators right?
XL766
Well I am, Kouv's been slacking.
Vixy (Sarcastic)
You don't say. Well, I got to use this window, so out you go!
Vixy gently pushes on the ladder, causing the ladder to fall backwards with Kouv and XL766 on it.
Vixy (Turning back towards Exile)
Now that we've taken care of that, let's go.
Exile (Confused)
But I can't flyski.
Vixy
Don't worry, a touch of my hand and you'll be able to fly.
Exile grabs Vixy's hand and they fly out the window.
Setting: Scrooge's backyard. XL766, Kouv, and the ladder are lying on the ground.
XL766
I really do hate that fox.
The ladder begins to float up and fly towards Vixy. XL766 jumps up and hangs it, flying with it.
Kouv
Hey, wait for me!
Kouv jumps and hangs on to XL766's leg. Up ahead of Vixy and Exile is a bright light.
Exile
Spirit, what's that up aheadski?
Vixy
You'll find out in a sec.
Exile and Vixy fly into the light. XL766 and Kouv (holding onto the ladder) follow in.
Setting: School House in the past. Vixy and Exile land next to it. XL766 and Kouv land in a snow bank.
Kouv (Concerned)
XL766, are you ok?
XL766 (Unphased)
Infront of Scrooge was his old school house.
Setting: Inside school house. A young Exile is writing on some paper. Two other young Cano-Sapines run by.
Cano-Sapien #1 (Excited)
Come on Ebenezer, it's Christmas!
Young Exile (Mad)
Who cares about stupid old Christmaski anyway?
Cano-Sapien #2 (Excited)
Suit yourself!
Vixy and Exile walk in.
Vixy
Does he look familiar?
Exile
Of course he doeski, he's me!
XL766 and Kouv look in through the window. Has Exile continues to write, he slowly grows older until he
becames about 19. Napoleon walks in.
Napoleon (Thick Frence Accent)
Bonjour Scrooge.
Young Exile
Hello headmaster.
Vixy
Do you remember him?
Exile
Of course, he was my headmaster. I learned everything from him.
Napoleon
Well, today you begin your quest into BUSINESS. Ah, I remember when I first went into BUSINESS. Then those
damn Brits and Austrains coming to Waterloo spoiled all of it.
Young Exile (Slightly confused)
Yes sir.
Exile
Well, maybe I didn't learn everything from him.
Napoleon
Well anyway, the carriage is waiting to take you to BUSINESS. For, it is zhe Frence way!
XL766 taps on the window. Napoleon walks up to it and opens it. XL766 whispers into Napoleon's ear.
Napoleon
We, we, we. Ah, we.
Napoleon walks back over to young Exile.
Napoleon
My mistake, it is zhe Bristish way.
Vixy
Shall we go to another Christmas memory?
Setting: Infront of the Fuzzywig's office building. Vixy and Exile are right in front of it. XL766 and Kouv are
on the ladder, lighting a street lamp.
XL766
And Scrooge found himself at his orginal employer's building, Mr. Fuzzywig.
Kouv, not paying attention, accidently lights his hand on fire.
Kouv (Paniced)
Ah, XL766, I'm on fire!
XL766
Calm down.
XL766 looks around and sees a barrel of water underneath them. XL766 pushes Kouv into.
Vixy
Do you remember this?
Exile (Excited)
Of couse I doski! This is Mr.Fuzzywig's building!
Vixy (Sarcastic)
Whoopie, he remembers something. Let's go inside, I only have you for ten more minutes.
Setting: Inside the Fuzzywig's. There's a massive Christmas Party going on. A young Exile approaches Corelone.
Vixy and Exile enter.
Young Exile (Concerned)
Mr. Fuzzywig, do you have any idea how much money this party is going to cost?
Corlone (Thick Italian accent)
Ah, Ebenezer, do not worry about financle problems now. It's Christmas, go and mingle.
XL766 walks in, with a frozen Kouv over his shoulder.
XL766 (Annoyed)
I swear you're such a whosie.
Kouv (Frozen, mad)
Urge to kill rising....
XL766 sits Kouv next to a fire. Amber walks by and winks at XL766.
XL766 (To Kouv, sarcastic)
I'm going to go take a small 'break'. When you unthaw, take over narrating duty until I get back.
XL766 follows Amber out of the scene.
Exile is looking around the party until Vixy gives him a hard elbow.
Exile
Oh, what was that forski?
Vixy (Pointing to Diamond)
I was going to ask you who's that?
Exile
That's Belle.
Corelone (Introducing Exile to Diamond)
Ebenezer, I would like you to meet Belle. She is a friend of the Family.
Diamond
Hello Ebenezer.
Young Exile
Hello Belleski. Oh, I mean Belle.
Diamond giggles.
XL766 walks back into the scene, his face covered with lipstick.
XL766
Ok Kouv, what did I miss?
Kouv (Sarcastic)
I think I should be asking that question.
Vixy
Shall we go to another Christmas memory with Belle?
Exile (Upset)
No spiritski, please.
Setting: Snow covered park. A Young Exile is walking next to Diamond. Vixy and Exile appear.
Young Exile
Well Belleski, I was able to foreclose some low class houses to get us more money.
Diamond
Ebenezer, there's something I need to tell you?
Young Exile (Concerned)
Is it about financial problems?
Diamond
No, it's about us.
Young Exile (Realived)
Phew.
Diamond
Ebenezer, it's over.
Young Exile (Confused)
What's over?
Diamond
Our relationship, all you care about is money, you speak nothing of us.
Young Exile (Confused)
What do you mean? Money is what keeps us from living on the streetsski?
Diamond (Upset)
Oh, just forget about it.
Diamond walks off, crying. Young Exile is still confused.
Exile (Mad)
Why spirit? Why have you shown me this?
Vixy (Sarcastic)
Well duh, it's to show you that you've totally screwed up in life.
Vixy looks at her watch.
Vixy
Well, it's almost two. It's time for you to meet the next spirit. And remember, you created these memories yourself.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's room. Exile walks up and looks around. Everything is the same, except the clock is at
one fifty-six.
Setting: Scrooge's backyard. XL766 (without lipstick on his face) and Kouv are in the yard.
XL766
And Scrooge found himself once more, alone in his room. Sorry we weren't in that last scene folks.
Kouv (Sarcastic)
XL766 had to wipe the lipstick off.
XL766
At least I've got a girlfriend Mister Trying To Hit on Rebel's Girlfriend.
Kouv (Mad)
HEY! I never knew she was going out with him! And besides, I'm going out with Sheila!
XL766 (Sarcastic)
What Sheila sees in you, I'll never know.
Kouv (Mad)
Same thing goes for Amber, she's deserves way better than you!
XL766 opens his mouth to say a come back, but Exile opens up the window.
Exile (Mad)
Will you two shut upski!
Exile slams the window close.
Setting: Inside Scrooge's room. Exile turns around and sees Taco (in giant form).
Taco (Hispanic accent)
Hola, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present come and meet me better amigo.
Exile (Confused)
I didn't know Mexicans celebrated Christmas.
Taco (Annoyed)
Ever hear of Feliz Navidad? Anyway, touch my robe and we'll get started.
Setting: Outside of Fred's house, Christmas Day. Taco and Exile appear outside of the house. XL766 and Kouv
are across the street.
XL766
Scrooge found himself in front of his newphew Fred's house.
Kouv (Mad)
Screw this part, I'm not going near Krista and Rebel's house.
Kouv stomps off the scene.
XL766 (Sarcastic)
You see, there is a God.
Taco
Do you know who's casa this is?
Exile
Of courseski, it's Fred's.
Taco
Si, let's go inside.
Taco leads Exile in.
Setting: Inside Fred's house, dining room. Rebel and Krista are eating Christmas Dinner.
Krista (Scottish Accent)
So I guess your uncle's not coming.
Rebel (Sarcastic)
No, he'd rather count his money, again.
Krista (Laughing)
You really shouldn't speak so lowly of your own uncle.
Rebel
You're right, Scrooge isn't that bad when he's not talking about money.
Krista (Confused)
But Scrooge always talks about money.
Rebel (Smug)
Exactly.
Both Rebel and Krista laugh. Exile looks upset.
Exile (Upset)
Let's go spirit.
Taco
Ok, we have another casa to visit.
Setting: Outside of Bob Cratchit's house. Taco and Exile appear outside of it. Once more, XL766 is across the
street.
XL766
Scrooge then found himself in a poor side of town and in front of the house of Bob Crachit.
Exile
Where are weski?
Taco
We are at Bob Crachit's casa. Come on, let's go in.
Taco and Exile walk in.
Setting: Inside of Bob Cratchit's house. Colleen is cooking a turkey the size of a parrot. Hunter walks in and walks
through Exile and Taco.
Hunter (Happy)
Hi Sara.
Colleen (Happy, British Accent)
Hi Bob.
Lucky (In crutches) hobbles in. Exile smiles at him.
Lucky (Happy)
Daddy!
Lucky hobbles over to Hunter and hugs him. Lucky then begins to cough. Hunter and Colleen give a concerned
look.
Hunter (Worried)
Calm down son. Are ready to eat?
Colleen
Yes, Tim, why don't you go set the table.
Lucky
Ok.
Lucky hobbles over to the table and sets it. Hunter sits down and Colleen brings over the turkey. Lucky sits down.
Hunter
Shall I say a prayer?
Colleen nods her head 'yes'.
Hunter (Praying)
May everyone have a Merry Christmas and God bless them.
Lucky (Praying, Happy)
God bless us, everyone!
Hunter (Raising his glass)
To Scrooge, the founder of the feast.
Colleen (Mad)
Scrooge, the founder of the feast? You mean: 'Scrooge, the man who works you like a slave'. Why I oughta give
him such a kick...
Hunter (Interrupting)
Sara please, Tim. Besides, without the money I get from him we wouldn't be having this feast at all.
Lucky (Raising his glass)
To Scrooge, the founder of the feast!
Colleen (Calming down. raising her glass)
To Scrooge, may he be happy with his money, blah, blah, blah.
Exile
Tell me spirit, will Tim liveski?
Taco
No, veo una silla vacía donde Tim se sienta.
Exile (Confused)
Eh?
Taco
Sorry, I meant no, I see an empty chair where Tim sits. But if he's going to die he better hurry and lower the surplus
population. Now it's time for us to go.
Taco and Exile disappear.
Setting: Graveyard. Taco and Exile reappear. XL766 pokes his head out from behind a grave.
XL766
And we that thought in his head, Scrooge followed the Ghost of Chritmas Present.
Kouv comes running back into the scene.
Kouv (Annoyed)
Why didn't you tell me that we had left Rebel's house?
XL766 (Smug)
You never asked, no sit down and shut up.
Exile (Confused)
Spirit, why are we hereski?
Taco
Because it is time for me to go and for you to meet the finial spirit. Go and know him better amigo.
Taco slowly disappears, leaving Exile alone.
Kouv (Scared)
Wait a minute, isn't this the freaky part with the Ghost of Christmas Future?
XL766
Yeah, why?
Kouv (Scared)
Well then, I'm outta here. This guy freaks me out. Besides, it's pretty self-explainitory anyway.
XL766
Come on you wimp.
A black swirling vortex appears in front of Exile.
XL766 (Sarcastic)
On second, I could use some more 'personal time' with Amber. We'll see you folks at the finale.
XL766 and Kouv walk out of the scene. Out of the vortex, a cloaked shape lands in front of Exile.
Exile (Sacred)
Are you the spirit I was told aboutski?
The spirit shakes his head yes and points into the vortex. Exile and the spirit walk in it.
Setting: Bob Cratchit's House. The spirit and Exile appear in front of it.
Exile (Happy)
Thank you spiritski.
The spirit points at the house. Exile walks in.
Setting: Inside Bob Cratchit's house. Hunter and Colleen are sitting at the dinner table. Colleen is on the verge
of tears and Hunter just looks upset.
Hunter (Trying to comfort Colleen)
Sara, life is full of meetings and partings. And Tim's parting (A tear comes down his face) was one we knew
would happen and now, he's in a far better place.
Colleen (Crying)
What do you mean 'better place'? We could hardly afford a proper burial for him!
Colleen puts her head against the table and burts into tears. Hunter begins to cry as well. A tear comes down
Exile's eye.
Exile
Tell me spirit, why do they not have moneyski?
The spirit waves his hand and they disappear.
Setting: Graveyard. Exile and the spirit appear in front of a grave. The spirit points at it.
Exile
Tell me spiritski, are these the images of things that will or things that might?
The spirit once more, points at the grave.
Exile
Spiritski, a dog can chage can't he?
The spirit points an annoyed finger at the grave.
Exile
And if a dog can change, so can all of this.
The spirit angrily points both hands at the grave. Exile turns to the grave and sees "Ebenezer Scrooge" on it.
Exile turns to the spirit.
Exile
No, this cannot be true.
Exile falls to his knees and begins to cry.
Exile (Crying)
I'm sorry spiritski, I'm sorry for everything.
Exile accidently pulls off the spirit's cloaking, revealing Tramp.
Exile (Surprised)
Trampski?
Tramp (Mad)
Man, I was SO close to having a serious role, but NO, you just had to pull off my cloak didn't you? Oh, well,
it's time for you to go back.
Setting: Scrooge's room. Exile wakes up and looks around.
Exile (Happy)
It was dreamski. Oh thank you spirits! I'll keep Christmas in the past, the present, and the future. I've got so much
to doski!
Setting: Side of Scrooge's house. XL766 and Kouv are on a ladder next to Scrooge's window.
XL766
And Scrooge awoken a new dog. Hey folks, we're back just like we said we would be.
Kouv (Worried)
Are you sure it's safe up here? I mean, remember what happened last time?
XL766
Hey, Scrooge is a changed dog, what's the worst that could happen?
Exile opens up the window, knocking Kouv and XL766 off.
Exile (Pointing at CJ)
Tell me boy, what day is thisski?
CJ (Confused)
Why, it's Christmas.
Exile (Happy)
Oh boy, I didn't miss it! The spirits did it all in one night, spirits can do that you know.
CJ (Confused)
Umm, yeah.
Exile (Happy)
Tell me boy, is that turkey still at the butcher shop?
CJ (Confused)
You mean the one that's almost as big has me? Yes sir, it's still there.
Exile (Happy, throwing two bags of money at CJ)
Excellent, here's two bags of money. One's for you to buy the turkey for me, the other is for a job well done.
CJ looks confused for a second, and then realizes what Exile said. CJ smiles and picks up the money.
CJ (Happy)
Yes sir, where do you want me to take the turkey to?
Exile (Happy)
Take it to Bob Cratchit's house.
Setting: Out in the street. Exile is greeting everyone he meets by saying 'Merry Christmas'. XL766 and Kouv are
following him.
XL766
So Scrooge set out to do everything he could and greet everyone with a 'Merry Christmas'.
Exile turns around to XL766 and Kouv.
Exile (Happy)
Merry Christmas!
Exile turns around and runs into Bud and Shag. Shag jumps behind Bud and whines.
Bud (Unsure)
Uh, Merry Christmas, Mr. Scrooge.
Exile (Stern)
Tell meski, are you two still collecting for charity?
Bud (Unsure)
Yes sir.
Exile (Happy)
Well then, put me down for....
Exile whispers into Bud's ear. Bud looks shocked and his ears perk up.
Bud (Amazed)
That much sir?!?!
Exile (Happy)
And not a penny less. Merry Christmas.
Bud (Still amazed)
Yes, Merry Christmas.
Shag shakes Exile's hand. Exile continues down the street until he runs into Rebel.
Rebel (Surprised)
Ah, Merry Christmas Uncle.
Exile (Stern)
Merry Christmas, ba humbug. Tell me Fred, are you and Clara still having Christmas dinner?
Rebel
Yes Uncle.
Exile (Happy)
Well then, is it still too late for me to join you?
Rebel (Shocked)
You really mean it Uncle?
Exile (Happy)
Of course I do, I'll see you later Fred.
CJ (carrying a giant turkey)
Shall we go sir?
Exile (Happy)
Yes, follow meski!
Setting: Outside of Bob Cratchit's House. Exile makes CJ duck out of sight. Exile sternly knocks on the door.
Hunter answers?
Hunter (Surprised, Scared)
Oh, hello sir.
Exile (Stern)
Mr. Cratchit, why were you not at work today?
Hunter (Scared)
Well sir, you told me I could have the whole day off.
Exile (Stern)
I said no such thing.
Colleen steps out in between Exile and Hunter.
Colleen (Mad)
Look here Scrooge, I've had about enough of you coming around here pushing Bob around!
Hunter (Scared)
Sara, please control yourself.
Exile (Stern)
What if I were to say that I was about to make Bob my partner and increase his pay?
Colleen (Mad)
What if I were to kick your bloody a... What did you say?
Exile (Happy)
I wish to make Bob my partner and increase his pay. Now, I also have a turkey for you.
Exile waves his hand and CJ comes in with the giant turkey. They all go inside. XL766 and Kouv walk into the
scene.
XL766
And with that, Scrooge became a better dog than he ever was.
Kouv (Worried)
And what about Tim?
XL766
And as for Tim, who did NOT die, (Kouv smiles) Scrooge became like a second father to him. And as Tim put,
God bless us, everyone. (Sarcastic) Now enough of this crap, Kouv, let's go get the Howitzer and hunt down
Jack the Ripper!
Kouv (Happy)
Aye, aye, captian.
The End