The Fool and The Hanged Man
by KC
Fandom: TMNT
Pairing: Mike/Leo
Prompt: tarot, TMNT, from
Summary: Walking off the cliff, seeing life from a different angle.
After weeks of wondering and long hours spent thinking alone, Leonardo understands himself and his situation a little better, but he's no closer to understanding how to solve his problem. How to solve himself. If he says nothing, things remain the same. Michelangelo never looks at him as anything but a big brother, occasionally a task master, a sword he knows will always be there for him. If he says nothing, Leonardo continues to think alone in his room, trying to figure out a way to make the world fall into place again.
And if he says something, he knows the world might never make sense again, might turn against him into a hell of loathing, bitter recriminations and cold stares from his family. He knows human children are thrown out of their families for this, sometimes for less. Even if they didn't throw him out, their silence when he walks into a room, their refusal to be around him, their feelings of betrayal and mistrust, would be too much to bear.
Would it be another betrayal if he stayed near them in the shadows, never seen even by ninjas, protecting him as best a shadow can? He can't bear the thought of being apart from them, but better to be physically apart than seeing proof of their separation in their eyes. The cost of revealing himself might be terrible, but the price of remaining silent slowly mounts around him, a trap of his own making from which he can't escape.
So he sits, and thinks, and hides, hoping that maybe he'll turn the world right-side up again, or else flip it around completely. It has to be one way or the other. This hanging in the middle, coming at it from a tilted angle, feels like he's been falling for ages waiting to hit the rocky earth, knowing that the longer he falls means the harder he'll hit. He needs a plan, but he can't plan if he doesn't know what he's planning for.
After weeks of wondering and long hours spent thinking alone, Michelangelo decides to go in without a plan. There are so many ways this can backfire in his face, a million different ways for him to stumble on his words and stumble in his courage and maybe even just plain stumble, that he feels it's better to close his eyes and keep walking until he can't stop, until sheer inertia carries him forward. So this whole non-plan will be like walking off a cliff. If there's a fall, hey, maybe he'll fly.
A paper lantern lights Leonardo's room as usual, but his big brother isn't sitting beneath it reading like he usually does. He's at the edge of the light, back against the wall, one leg curled up as he thinks. Michelangelo forces himself to walk straight towards him, but the moment he opens his mouth to speak, Leonardo looks up.
Why does his big brother look like he's facing death? He's got that wide-eyed look he always gets when facing an enemy much bigger than himself, and he's got that desperate determination thing going on, too. From years of studying his brother, Michelangelo recognizes that look. What freezes him is that the look is focused on him. And that Leonardo isn't moving or speaking, either. Leonardo's waiting for him to take that step off the cliff.
The realization is cold water or sharp teeth, like reality's nipped him back into his right mind. Like he's suddenly aware of all of the ramifications of what he's doing. If he doesn't fly, there are sharp rocks at the bottom of this fall, and maybe he's not the only one falling.
Completely in his right mind, he decides not to talk. He leans forward and steals a kiss.
Michelangelo feels like he's flying and falling at once. Leonardo feels like the world's suddenly snapped into place.
end