The Southern Sons are another favourite artistes of mine. You Were There gave me the imagery of Kyoya opening his eyes to find the object that he was imagining. This song is done by male artistes, so naturally, I hear Kyoya singing this. With qualities that you would never think he possessed, vulnerability, hesitation and perhaps even, fear.
You Were There
I guess you've heard
I guess you know
In time I'd have told you
But I guess I'm too slow
It's overly romantic
But I know that it's real
I hope you don't mind if I say how I feel
It's like I'm in somebody else's dream
This could not be happening to me
For the first time in his 16 years of life on this planet earth, Ootori Kyoya could not think of what else there was to say. He had been at it for about half an hour. Talking, speaking, expressing, gesturing, staring, starting, stopping, faltering, hesitating. The first few he was used to doing, the last few… That was another story altogether.
Ootori Kyoya had always known what he had wanted in life. And he never, never, hesitated to get it. As a child, he had bypassed the 'playing-with-toy-trucks-and-going-brmmm' years and headed straight into the 'get-more-allowance-by-means-of-a-diplomatic-negotiation' years. His childhood was filled with lessons in manners, etiquette and of course, business. Naturally none of them were perpetrated by his father, Ootori Yoshio. No, they had the means (money was such a vulgar word) to hire the second best teachers for him. Indeed, Yoshio prided himself on being the best. But we're not talking about Yoshio, we're here to talk about his youngest son, Kyoya.
Kyoya, who had, on his father's request (never demand, another vulgar word), befriended the Director's flighty son. In this case, causing a whole chain reaction that led to him managing the finances and management of a frivolous, yet, highly profitable club. The school's famous (definitely not infamous) Host Club. And this chain led him to the weakest, yet at the same time, the strongest, link in the chain. The unexpected one.
Fujioka Haruhi.
And for the first time in his life, as Kyoya rehearsed and prepared his speech (confession was such an ugly word) in front of his ornate full-length mirror, he knew why he was hesitant. It was because this was not something he knew he could get. Honestly, who can guarantee love? That only happened in dreams, and Kyoya was no dreamer. He was a planner and a doer.
But you were there
You were everything I'd never seen
You woke me up from this long
And endless sleep
I was alone
Today was not one of those, as they called it, good days. First, imagine being awakened prematurely by a call from a bumbling idiot that claimed to have lost his right shoe, when in fact he was wearing it on the other foot. Next, arriving for class, the said idiot would be all over him, crying how much he had saved him that morning, and how he owed his life to him. Kyoya stared at the King and said:
"In that case, please go jump off a cliff."
Tamaki only then realized his mistake of the day, to disturb the Shadow King before he had risen. The rest of day passed with Tamaki throwing apology notes at Kyoya, throwing him pitiful 'I'm-a-very-sorry-puppy-dog' looks and finally, kneeling before him and begging for forgiveness.
In the middle of the last class of the day.
In front of everyone.
Kyoya had stood, requested to be allowed to go to the Nursing Bay, pleading a headache and infection of the worse kind, the Suoh kind. When the infection made to escort him to the Sick bay, Kyoya quietly promised that if he moved another step, the infection would be 'taken care of'. When the son of the owner of the police force said such things, even Tamaki knew better than to do otherwise.
Instead of heading to the Sick Bay where he never had any intention of going, (for he knew the bumbling idiot would not be stayed long by his threat) Kyoya made for the Club Room. Club would start late today as the first-years would have a longer scholarly day. Tamaki would not consider that Kyoya would be here and the Seniors were sure to give him the peace and quiet that he wanted.
Slipping into the blessed silence, he glided to the sofa. Even though he had not been entirely truthful about his desire to go to the Sick bay, he had meant it when he said that he had a headache. Sinking into the plush comfort, he let his left arm dangle over the edge and his right over the backrest. His left hand touched something vaguely un-marble like. Too comfortable to get up and look, his left hand felt around and picked up the forgotten object. A notebook.
On the first page when the cover was open, the name 'Fujioka' was written neatly in the corner. Nothing special about it. It was a different color, it wasn't written in calligraphy, it didn't glitter, but staring at that page full of scribbling (neatly done though), it was the only thing he saw. Her math notebook. Kyoya brought it to his face and took an experimental sniff. Her smell. Resting the notebook on his chest to keep it propped up above his nose, Kyoya closed his eyes and took a deep breath. You couldn't tell if he had died and gone to Heaven, or had simply fallen asleep.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Kyoya was dreaming. He saw Haruhi and himself, standing in front of the fading sun, him telling her in a straight forward manner that he had developed an intense fondness for her and would like to become part of her world. He felt fear for his dream-self, but the one speaking looked only determined and joyful at the opportunity to speak his mind.
After his dream-self finished his speech (confession), the dream-Haruhi walked over to his dream-self, put her hand on his left shoulder, looked up into his eyes… and shook him while calling his name.
Kyoya awoke instantly for the first time in a long time. And there she was. His dream apparition. Which could only mean that he was still dreaming. He smiled up at her and she looked at him doubtfully. He raised his right hand to her face and pushed her hair back behind her ear. Her mouth was moving, but in his dream-hazed state, he figured that words didn't matter in dreams. What he couldn't figure out was how he had gone from standing to lying. Regardless, he decided that he should indulge in dreams once in awhile. So he pulled her face down to his slowly, rested her forehead against his, and said, quite lucidly and clearly Haruhi would be sure to add in future:
"I love you. Be mine."
But I opened my eyes and you were there
Ah, the curse of having low blood pressure.
Don't be alarmed
No don't be concerned
I don't want to change things
Leave them just as they were
I mean nothing's really different
It's me who feels strange
I'm always lost for words
When someone mentions your name
I know I'll get over this for sure
I'm not the type who dreams there could be more
They pretended that nothing had happened. But with the club, they always knew when the game was afoot. Haruhi said nothing about it and Kyoya simply stared at anyone who dared to ask. And for some time, things went on as they had been.
The truth of the matter was, whenever anyone asked him: "What's wrong with Haruhi?" He had no answer for them. He didn't know. Which ate at him. He ALWAYS knew. They were cordial to each other and Haruhi really seemed like nothing had happened. For a brief moment, Kyoya felt a pang of disappointment that he really dreamed it all up. Dreams were just that, insubstantial and wild imaginings.
Kyoya decided, he would dream no more.
But you were there
You were everything I'd never seen
You woke me up from this long
And endless sleep
I was alone
But I opened my eyes and you were there
Things had started to get back to normal. Give a few hectic weeks before exam, and the matter was soon forgotten by the most persistent of inquirers. It probably helped that the two acted like there really was nothing happening. They didn't avoid each other, neither were they more chummy than usual. The two interacted at club and said a quick 'Hi' when they saw each other in the halls.
Kyoya didn't know how Haruhi felt, but he told himself that he was relieved. Maybe he really had just been dreaming. Afterall, Haruhi was not one to not talk something like this out. Yes, he felt relieved…
Then what was with the pain every time she looked away from him? Why that squeeze around his heart when the twins draped themselves on her? And that amazing and glorious high when she smiled 'Hello' at him? In a way, Kyoya never felt more alive. His whole life had been plans, plans, plans and more plans. What had happened (be it a dream or reality) had been so spontaneous. It lit a fire under his proverbial butt.
Kyoya sat on the very couch where he had dreamt and cogitated over how he should have made use of that opportunity to deliver his 'speech'. He had been so eager for things to appear normal, that he had forgotten what he had practiced for. A lost chance. Kyoya didn't know how to handle it. He had never missed out on an opportunity before. Was this what failure felt like? He put his head in his hands, gently massaging the points between his eyes, hoping to stave off the descending headache. He did not fear being discovered in this weakened state for club had been cancelled in view of the exams. Outside, the sky darkened, announcing the pending arrival of a storm. It suited his mood very well.
For how long had he been like that, mulling over the taste of failure in his mouth, he had no idea. More so, he had no idea when it was that he was no longer the only one in the Music Room. When he had finally decided that he had wasted enough time wallowing in self-pity, he stood up, only to meet those brown eyes that had been swimming behind his lids the entire time. She didn't appear startled, so he deduced that she had been there for awhile already. Watching him.
"I didn't mean to disturb you, but I wanted somewhere quiet to study for the exams." She had hurriedly assured.
"You didn't disturb me. I was just on my way out." He nodded curtly. He made to pick up his book bag. Hesitant footsteps told him that she was nearing him.
"You haven't looked well for the past days Senior. Are you not feeling well?" Her concern was palpable and Kyoya nearly jumped in fright when her cool hand felt his forehead. "It's hot! You better lie down." Haruhi grasp his elbow, clearly intent on tending to him.
Kyoya didn't know if he could bear it if he let her. "It's just because I have a headache. I'll be fine after some aspirin." He tried to explain himself out of her tenuous grasp.
"A headache could be a symptom of something worse. You had better stay and rest abit before going." Haruhi insistently pulled at his jacket sleeve.
"Haruhi, I really don't think there is any need for you to worry," He started coldly, slipping into Shadow King mode, when a flash of white light illuminated the darkened room. Haruhi's eyes dilated before his own and her small fist crushed his jacket sleeve. He gripped her shoulders and shook her gently. "Haruhi, Haruhi. Listen to me." Her stricken eyes turned up to his. "Ah! Senior sorry," she let go of his jacket. "Please, do go home if you must."
She tried to back away from him, but his hands would not let her go. Her eyes would not leave the windows. Kyoya shook her again, this time abit more forcefully.
"Haruhi, look at me." Then thunder rumbled overhead. Mentally calculating, the thunder had followed the lightning with about 15 seconds in between, so the storm was still about 5 kilometers away. But it would be right over them in a few minutes at the rate the wind was blowing.
Haruhi meanwhile, in her own little world, had renewed her grasp on his garment. The fear that he saw on her face tore at his heart, but he could not show any weakness. Not while she needed him.
Shaking her again, "Haruhi, Haruhi! Look at me. Listen to me. Only me." One of his hands let go of her shoulder and gently turned her jaw towards him that she might look at him instead of the window. Her jaw trembled ever so slightly. "Listen to me, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here." Haruhi looked like a cross between being pathetically grateful and cautiously doubtful.
"So the least you can do is make things easier on me and smile at me."
Haruhi's eyes darted over his face, searching for a sign that he was joking. Seeing no indications, she gave a hesitant smile.
Can I take your smile home with me
Or the magic in your hands
And then the storm was upon them.
The rain has stopped
The storm has passed
Look at all the colours
Now the sun's here at last
I suppose that you'll be leaving
But I want you to know
That a part of you stays with me even after you go
Like an actor playing someone else's scene
This could not be happening to me
Kyoya lay on his bed, replaying what had happened in his mind as he fiddled absently with his tie.
The King and twins had called her phone to check if she was ok. She was in no state of mind to answer, so he had simply turned the power off. Let them make of that what they will. By now, she was not going to let go of him, even if wild horses were tethered to her legs and were galloping the other direction. He wouldn't let her just endure, that wouldn't solve the problem.
So he tried to distract her. He constantly held her face up to his, spoke to her, stroked her cheek and jaw, smoothed her soft hair back, all the time reminding her to smile at him. As the storm wound down, her smiles turned more sincere and she even spoke a little. She never pulled out of his grasp or shied away from his touches. She also never let go of his jacket. It wasn't till the sound of the rain and wind had totally died off before either realized that it had to be quite late.
He offered her a ride home and she had accepted willingly, much to his surprise. He supposed that he had really been dreaming that day. The wait for the vehicle had been tolerable. The air was cool and only slightly humid. Much of the grounds were deserted and it felt like they were alone for miles around.
The ride itself was difficult. While waiting, Kyoya had decided that he would deliver his 'speech'. Deciding was much easier than acting it turned out. More than halfway into the trip and the two were so quiet that one would have thought that two clams rode in the back of the sleek black Mercedes. Haruhi was content to stare out of the window and the passing scenery, seemingly in another, calmer, world of her own. Kyoya's world was buffeted and bullied by every hurricane to have been named.
Gathering his waning courage, he turned towards her and studied her profile for abit. She seemed not to have noticed him looking (staring more likely), so he cleared his throat delicately. She continued to gaze out of the car.
Unperturbed, he opened his mouth to call her name, when she spoke.
"Did you mean what you said that day?"
Kyoya stilled, considered his options and decided on what to say.
"Yes."
They were around the corner of her apartment complex.
Silence once again reigned supreme.
She finally turned to him. "Senior, I appreciate your feelings. But… I'm sorry to say that I cannot accept them right now."
Kyoya felt his blood freeze. If what he had felt earlier had been failure, surely this was a humiliating defeat.
The car pulled up in front of her building. Kyoya thought furiously of something to say.
She beat him to it. "The thing is, I need to focus on my studies now. While I will not say that I do not return the sentiments, I will say that I hope you will ask me again after my graduation."
She had opened the door and then stepped out.
Loosening his tie, Kyoya closed his eyes and envisioned her smiling up at him as he had held her. When he opened his eyes again, they shone with determination.
But you were there
You were everything I'd never seen
You woke me up from this long
And endless sleep
I was alone
But I opened my eyes
Two years had passed altogether too slowly for the young Ootori success. When he had graduated, she had reiterated what he had been thinking then. Only one more year to go. And today. Finally, today had come.
They had made an appointment to meet privately in the gardens. It was the day after the ceremony. He had been present and quietly proud that the girl of his dreams was class valedictorian. But today, today would surely be better. He had asked to meet her at the gazebo in the centre of the gardens, where there was shade, seats and a romantic atmosphere. Let no one say that Ootori Kyoya had no sense of romance.
He now sat facing the only entrance to the small and secretive space. He had practiced the speech that he had so long ago written for the past few days, perfecting every gesture and expression. While spontaneity was good, to be prepared was better. Glancing at his watch, I had only crawled 2 minutes since he last checked. While being early was good too, it wore out the nerves. Running a nervous hand through his immaculate crown of jet black hair, he twisted in his seat to check, if maybe, for whatever reason, she had snuck up behind him. When he turned back to face the front, he glanced at his watch again.
Looking up, there she was.
And oh
And oh
He rose from his seat hurriedly and strode down the short steps. She smiled at him and started towards him.
He stopped midway, unsure. She continued towards him. He waited as patiently as he could.
She still wore the school uniform even as he wore his business suit like a uniform and she now unbuttoned the jacket as she sat down in the gazebo.
He sat down opposite her. Not a word was exchanged for a full minute.
She was looking all around, enjoying the serene surroundings. She had not changed physically over the years, yet she seemed even more beautiful to him.
He decided to start off with some idle chit-chat to dispel the nervousness. "So, I hear you've been accepted into Todai to study Law?" She nodded and smiled her lazily happy smile. His breath caught at the sight that had accompanied him to sleep every night and every morning he woke.
"But we're not here to talk about that are we?" Haruhi turned to him and asked politely.
"No, we did not." Saying so, Kyoya stood up and kneeled in the centre of the gazebo.
"Fujioka Haruhi, I would be honoured if you would deign to allow me to be by your side for as long as it makes you happy. I've had a long time to consider how I felt about you and I've come to the conclusion that it would make me very happy to have you with me, but I will understand if you wish to commit yourself instead to your career. I would not pressure you into making a choice."
Kyoya bowed his head, squeezing his eyes shut tightly, willing for the words he wanted to hear.
Not alone
Not alone
Soft hands grasped his jaw lightly and tilted his head up to look into those warm brown eyes. The owner of the hand was smiling when Kyoya opened his eyes.
"Look at me. Listen to me. Smile for me. Only me."
I opened my eyes If you haven't heard this song, do look for it. To hear it while reading the story would be the best. Or you can message me and I'll see what I can do.
And you were there
This one took longer and more than Taka and Haru had. It's especially difficult to capture Kyoya. He has so many facets to him. Also, I really didn't want to talk about the other characters cause well, they CAN be bothersome most times.