Hope

You know how they say you see your entire life passing just like a movie before you die? That's how I felt when I heard the news. I could have considered myself one of the happiest girls on earth, life had always been on my side, I had reached all my dreams and I was always up to setting myself new ones only to have this amazing feeling of accomplishment once you've reach them. You know, the feeling of being proud of yourself and knowing everyone around you are also proud of you? Since I'm a little baby my parents have always cherish me a lot, even though we had some Financial problem at home, they were proud of everything I was doing, it first started when I said my first words, took my first step, to when I had my first boyfriend, Nick. They were especially proud of Nick and I. We met when we were sixteen, we were in High school. The sparks flew immediately between us. Since then we've been a together, a small 5'2 girl with blond hair and blue eyes and the tall 5'9 boy with Brown curly hair and hazel eyes. That's how people identified us. Most people liked us and some people didn't even bother of us and let us lived our own life. He was hanging out with his friends and I was hanging out with mine. At first, his friends didn't liked me very much, probable because I have a loud annoying voice. I say annoying because I have a southern accent. But Nick fond it cute. He wasn't shy but he was quiet around a lot of people, the total opposite of me. I was outgoing and always ready to be around others people. We didn't necessarily had the same interest either, but like they say, opposite attract. At least, it was the truth in our case. We both went to University, he was studying to become a psychologist who works with people in others country, he wanted to travel but we already settle the fact that when we were going to have children he would do his work from our country, since he wanted to be present in his kids life, not like his father. He informed himself and it was possible. I was studying to become a nurse, even though in my family we didn't have a lot of money, my part time job as a waitress helped me and my parents help as much as they could. We were so happy together, we were just like these couples you see in movies.

Nick proposed to me when we were twenty three years old. Even though we were both still in University, we decided to take the big step, we were both ready to spend the rest of our life together. We both graduated at the same age, twenty five. As our graduation gift, we decided we wanted to have our first child. When we announced the news to our parents and friends, they all told us the same thing: ''You should wait until you get a real job because a baby is a lot to handle, a lot of money...''. So we decided to listen to them, for once, but the thing is, we were so in a hurry to have our first child, it was our dream to have a little baby who would have my eyes, his noise, anyway, we took the first job that was offered to us. We got Lucky, I had a job in town and Nick needed to travel but he told his boss as soon as our baby will be born he would like to stay in town, his boss agreed. Everything was going to be just fine. So I stayed home alone throughout all the pregnancy, but I didn't care because I knew that in nine months we would be happy and we talked on the phone every night, text and we would send each others emails.

One year after we had Zachary, we decided to have another child. As soon as we found out the sex of the baby, we already chose the name, Hope. We would name her hope because Nick needed to leave for seven months for his job and we hoped it was the last time, his boss promised it was, but he also promised two times before that too. We also decided to name her Hope because we were hoping he would be back for the day I would give birth. Nick left to Chile on April 13,2010.

''Hi Mrs. Anderson, due to the past event in Chile...'' The police officer said as I open the door. I had watched the news, I knew what happened in Chile but I never thought my husband could be affected by that horrible tragedy. Life had always been on my side, it couldn't happen to me. ''Yes..'' I whisper scared of what the police officer might say after I respond to him. ''As you may know, the earthquake affected a lot of Chileans and tourist'' He continued. ''Yes...'' I whispered once again, at this moment I knew what was coming, tears already started to fill in my eyes and my hands were shaking as I could still hear my son playing and laughing in the living room, innocent of everything that has been going on. ''We lost all the information about your husband and we can't find him anywhere'' the police officer continued and take his hat off ''I'm deeply sorry...''. that's when the film of all the time we spent together started rolling in front of me. I simply nodded and took the card that the police officer was handing to me I closed the door and dropped on my knee. My two years old son stopped playing with his toys and came to me ''Mommy?'' I heard him say but I didn't have the strength to say anything back I simply hugged him tightly and I never wanted to let him go.

Weeks went by, there's isn't a single day' s I didn't left him a messages on his cell phone. Always saying the same thing: that I miss him, what his son did new or said a new word, how the pregnancy was going, basically everything about my life, every single details.

hi honey, it's me again... It's so good to hear your voice if only you could come back home already. Zachary is already asking when his daddy will be back home... I don't know what to say... You always promised you wouldn't be like your father, you would always be here... Remember Hope? She's coming soon now... Remember why we decided to name her Hope? Well why aren't you coming back by now? I miss you... Your son miss you. Your daughter want to meet you... Anyway, this is the last time I'm calling now... I already left you fifty eight messages before, you did not answer any of them, I give up. I love you, forever and always. Hope your great where you are...

This is the last message I left him. It has become an addiction by now, every hour I needed to leave him a message saying the exact same thing every times. I didn't wanted to stop, but my family and friends helped me and told me I needed to stop, I wouldn't even go out anymore, it wasn't me at all. My excuse: it was so good to hear his voice even though it was always the same sentence: ''Hi, you have reached Nick, I'm currently unavailable, please leave a message after the annoying beep.'' Every time I called and hear him say, ''After the annoying beep'', a small smile appeared on my face as a flashback of him came back to me, he hated leaving messages only because of that beep. He hated the sound of it and he found it annoying that on every voice mail box, it was the same annoying beep. Actually, there's not a single minutes in my life I don't have a memories of him, I read a word, a flashback come in my head. I hear a sound, another flashback. I smell something, there's another one. People around me think I'm crazy, but I'm not. I know why I am acting like that, I'm afraid. I'm afraid to forget him. To forget the sound of his voice, his odor, his looks... Everything.

Another couple of weeks past by, and we still have no news of him. My parents helped me a lot, they were my inspiration, the only reason I kept going everyday. Them and my children. I don't even watch the news anymore because I get my hopes up every time they get someone out, each time it's not him. Today is supposed to be ''The most wonderful time of the year.'' Wrong. I used to love Christmas, it was my favourite Holiday, until I needed to spend it away from the man I love. I am now at my parents house while watching my son unwrapping his gifts from his grand parents when this sudden pain hits me. I screamed and everyone turned and looked at me concerned. Next thing I knew, I was on the hospital bed giving birth to my little girl, without her father, without my husband.

As the doctor handed me my beautiful little girl of 6 pounds, I heard some foot step coming to the door, Wondering who it could be, since everyone was already with me, maybe it was another doctor or a nurse, I look up at the door ''Hope...'' I whisper holding my daughter and waiting for those foot step to finally walk in the room.