Likely to be many grammatical and spelling errors as i only gave this a brief edit/read-through. Also i'm australian so there's a fair few 'u's missing out of some words.
I could have made this fic longer but i have issues where the more details i put in the more likely i am to hit that wall and the more likely i am to get flamed for 'repeating myself with useless details' so you'll have to forgive me for that.
Please Enjoy, please review.
I do not own Glee or most of the characters named here in this fan fiction.
Something of a Trigger Warning for this fic for Illness causing death.
Rachel hadn't been home long, long enough to start on dinner after getting changed, but still not long. She'd donned some casual jeans and a plain tee shirt. She was home alone for the weekend as she usually was, mostly at her own choosing. Rachel had become somewhat closed off with her dads since the Shelby thing, she mentioned it to no one but it killed her a little that Shelby pulled away from her only to then adopt Quinn's baby, Beth.
The first few times her dads had asked her to go out of town with them since then she had legitimately not wanted to go because she had thrown herself into working on music and songs for Glee. Eventually the husbands simply stopped asking if Rachel wanted to go and instead told her they would be back Sunday evening and that was that. Which meant most weekend any more Rachel spent alone unless for some reason Puck had a party she was invited too or was talked into throwing one of her own. Neither of these things happened often.
Yet Rachel hadn't been home long before there was a loud knock on her door and then the screeching of tires on asphalt as a car sped away. She could practically imagine what had been done, or at least to some degree. Even after having been living there for so long it wasn't exactly like it was something new, after all, just as the door said right in that moment is bright red paint 'faggots' lived there. Sometimes Rachel wished the world was different. That everything was the way Brittany might see it, all rainbows and lollipops.
Slamming the door then and there Rachel made a few choices, she was going to have her dinner and then fix the door and then she was going to work on making herself feel a little more secure in her own home. Things were just far too frustrating lately, she hated everything sometimes, especially lately. The teasing at school never relented but now she was part of the glee club and she had thought she might finally have made some friends but even then the people she was closer too were still more than a little under handed and two faced.
Her dating life was a complete joke if nothing else. Finn was still confused about Quinn, Puck had just not done a thing for her and Jesse St James was all sorts of wrong. Those poor baby chickens that might have been. Dating just didn't seem to be an interest any more in any case as it just seemed like too much work and Rachel was honestly getting tired. Tired of all of it. She wanted something, and she wanted it badly, but she was shut down over and over because of that want. It was a shame that she felt bad and belittled for being passionate about something.
Eating her dinner was a bland affair but it settled a pain in her stomach she had been ignoring for at least the last hour, washed down with some apple juice before she cleaned her dishes and then grabbed a toolbox from under the sink in the kitchen, getting a screw driver she moved to the front door and began to remove the hinges. with the wooden door off the hinges she leaned it against the wall and moved into the garage and retrieved two sawhorses and a palm sander. This job was not a new one for Rachel and she performed it automatically.
Giving the door a complete sanding over to remove all the paint and not leave it looking strange and uneven Rachel then headed back to return the tool and returned with some wood stain and a rag. Rachel re-stained the pine door its usual dark color and then packed the stain away before going into the house and retrieving her laptop. Sitting on the front porch while the door dried Rachel did some searches for animal shelters in the region. Tomorrow she was going to get herself a dog for these lonely weekends and should her parents complain about the idea... well she was good at winning arguments.
While she was sitting there immersed in the computer her phone buzzed, signalling a message, absently she picked up the phone and opened it still looking at the screen of her computer before looking at the phone. It was a picture of her freshly vandalized front door with the bold red word painted across it. Frowning she checked who had sent the picture to her but it was an unknown number. Biting her lip hard to stem her aggravation she stood up and snapped a picture of her still drying door and sent it back to the number.
When the door was dry enough the little diva put it back on its hinges, a feat of strength if anyone were to ask because she was tiny and even if the door was light pine it was still large and heavy. Working out daily came to her rescue and she managed it well enough. It also made her realise she could be a strong and independent woman. When it was all said and done she packed up and retired early for the evening, it didn't bother her. Her homework was caught up and for the first time in a while she just couldn't bring herself to care about Glee right then.
"I want to adopt a dog." Rachel informed the lady set at a desk at West Lima's Animal Rehab and Rehoming Shelter.
"Alright, go ahead and fill out this form here, it just outlines personal preferences and housing preferences for the animal you're after and then we will have some animals lined up for you." The lady smiles and Rachel takes the form and fills it out promptly.
Inside. Obedient. Medium or Large. Friendly. House trained. 2-5 years of age.
Handing the form back over Rachel only had to wait for a few minutes before a young woman came out of the back with a smile and introduced herself as Mary-Ann. Going back into the back Rachel looked around at the different animals there, ferrets, rabbits, kittens and cats, there were even snakes which spiked her interest a little as she hadn't even considered them an option. She was distracted by Mary-Ann speaking too her though and looked towards a short row of dogs that all had been put in small little enclosures for the sake of the viewing.
There was only 5 dogs in total, all medium or large breeds, two of which were cute mixed breeds, there was a rottweiler who looked maybe just a little too drooly for Rachel's tastes, the other was a Labrador/golden retriever mix. The fifth and final dog cause Rachel's eyes though, she was a Scotch Collie of the Rough variety, a lassie dog. This dog as a proud looking creature but was mostly black with a little white on her chest and the tip of her tail as well as all four sets of toes. Her tail waged happily when Rachel looked at her and her ears dropped back against her head in a positively endearing way.
"This little miss is rising two, we've had trouble adopting her out but we've kind of needed her gone. Not because she's bad or anything, but well... shes actually confirmed pregnant right now. Due in around three weeks." Mary-Ann explains gently as she knelt beside Rachel who was kneeling and poking her fingers in at the dog.
"She's so gorgeous. She's going to be a great mum." Rachel smiles at the dog more than the young woman beside her.
"Yeah she will. She really seems to like you too. She hasn't reacted so positively to anyone else who has viewed her." Mary-Ann explains further.
"So tell me about her." Rachel sits down and crosses her legs and Mary-Ann, feeling hopeful, lets the dog out of the small cage before assuming the same position.
The large proud looking ball of fluff gladly licked at Rachel's face before laying herself down at her side while Rachel idly buried her fingers in her fur. Mary-Ann watched for a moment before assuming a similar position to Rachel's on the floor with her. Rachel smiled softly and looked up from the dog to the woman expectant and Mary-Ann nodded and got started.
"So she was bought as a pedigree pup by an older woman who had a few Rough Collies. She showed this girl a few times but she didn't do as well as they wanted so they tried to get her spayed, except when they took her to get done they discovered she was already in pup. It was early but the woman decided, for what ever reason, to just hand the dog over to a shelter. It would seem shes having pure-bred puppies but we cant know for sure. She's super cute and extra sweet but like most herding dogs she can be rather territorial." Mary-Ann explains about the dog.
"Poor girl. Kind of reminds me slightly of a not-friend. I also need a dog that's territorial." Rachel seems to ponder this out loud and Mary-Ann tilts her head.
"Tell me about it?" Mary-Ann urges gently.
"Well. I have two dads, who i really love, but they spend a lot of weekends out of town. Which i also don't mind. What teenager doesn't like having the house to themselves? Except someone has started vandalizing my house again. You know... those usual derogatory remarks and homophobic slurs. It's only a matter of these vandals realising i'm the only one home on a weekend and well... it concerns me." Rachel explains with a mild frown.
"How old are you, Rachel?" Mary-Ann felt an immediate pang of sympathy for the girls situation.
"I'm only 16 and like... really short. I can be scrappy but lets be honest, i may have trouble fighting my way out of a wet paper bag let along fighting off attackers." Rachel smiled as the older girl chuckled.
"What are you doing tonight?" Mary-Ann asks suddenly.
"Hopefully having dinner with Madame Fluff 'n' Stuff here." Rachel comments slightly uncertainly.
"Possibly. If you definitely want her then she's yours but what say you give me your address and tonight i'll pop by and make sure she is settling in well and maybe you might want to come out for an hour or two with me and some friends? We're going bowling tonight and need an extra body." Mary-Ann offers genuinely and Rachel isn't entirely certain.
"I'm really terrible at bowling." Rachel admits even though the offer did seem like fun, aside from with Finn she had never really been invited out bowling.
"That's OK. I'll team you with my girlfriend Ash, she's awesome." Mary-Ann smiles and stands up before offering Rachel a hand which the little diva takes easily.
"Well... That would be really great. Are you sure i wouldn't be... intruding or something?" Rachel hated how insecure she felt, she just didn't make friends very easily.
"No way, girl. Lets get all the paper work sorted out for this girl, get you a few goodies for her and we can exchange info before you leave. You'll have all day to bond with her and then you can come bond with me and my rag tag group of misfits. It'll be great." Mary-Ann smiles brightly and Rachel cant help but feel her day was going really well so far.
When Rachel returned home from the shelter with her newest companion at her side she was more resigned than angered by the fact that her door was now painted rainbow colored. It was, on closer inspection, rather artfully done and Rachel was suddenly unsure if she even wanted to change it. Instead she decided she would wait until her fathers returned and speak with them about it. What was the point in changing the door all the time if people were just going to keep vandalizing the door. Embrace the gay.
"Come on in girl, lets get you settled in and find a place to make your bed." Rachel smiles warmly and the dogs tail wags happily.
After sorting everything out with the dog at the shelter Rachel had stopped at the nearest pet store and made a few necessary purchases. Including but not limited to food, a bed and bedding, shampoo and a brush as well as a leash and matching collar. Once that was done she returned to her home and let herself and her new friend into the house. Rachel smiled and let the dog loose to explore before she went to the kitchen and lay out the food and water bowls that the dog found and utilized almost immediately before returning to her explorations.
Once she was done in the kitchen Rachel went upstairs and put the rest of her things away before making a bed for the dog beside her own. She was rather excited and a little giddy about having a dog, as a little girl she had wanted one, and even a pony because what little girl didn't want a pony. Now she actually had a friend who wouldn't judge her or get mad at her for being vociferously ambitious, or for any other reason even. The dog trotted in and greeted Rachel happily and the girl smiled and gave the animal a small hug around the neck.
"I need to give you a name. What do you think of Diva?" Rachel inquired to the dog and as though she had no idea what she was being asked she tilted her head in a cutely curious way.
"No? That's ok. People call me a diva, i was kind of proud of it once but anymore it feels like an insult." Rachel shrugs and gently ruffles the dogs ears as the proud looking animal lays down on its new bed.
"We will have to come back to it. Why don't you come and check out the yard. Come on." Rachel smiled and lightly patted her thigh to get the dog to follow her out, which she did easily.
Letting the animal out into the yard Rachel spent a moment watching the creature run around outside sniffing and exploring in the yard and surrounding garden. Rachel suspecting that the dog hadn't felt a lot of freedom in her short life, from going from a strict show dog to being put in a shelter she imagined the pooch was feeling rather liberated in that moment. Closing the door she went to the kitchen and made herself some lunch before fetching one of the toys from upstairs and making her way out where she spent the rest of the afternoon playing with and spending time with her new friend.
"What about Nyx? She was a goddess of the night." Rachel suggests idly to the dog who happily licks her fingers and wags her tail.
"Nyx it is then." Rachel smiles happily just as her phone buzzes.
Will be there in 20. We are going to Breadsticks for dinner, hope you haven't eaten. ~M
Rachel smiled and sent back a brief affirmative and then headed inside leaving Nyx in the yard for a little longer while she went upstairs and changed into a pair of dark skinny jeans and a basic navy tee shirt. Once she was done she cleaned up and used the bathroom and started a load of washing machine and she was done just before there was a knock on the door. Opening she smiles and let Mary-Ann in.
"I just need to let Nyx in and shut off the back yard lights and i'll be ready. Thanks again for inviting me out." Rachel explains smiling politely.
"No problem, Rach. We needed a fourth and you seem really cool." Mary-Ann smiled fondly as she followed the younger girl to the back door to let the dog in.
"Well thank you all the same. I don't get invited out much." Rachel offers as Mary-Ann drops down and rubs Nyx's ears. The dog enjoys the attention before moving over to Rachel's side which pleases the young girl.
"That sucks. But you'll have fun with us tonight, we are totally chill." Mary-Ann smiles brightly and Rachel cant help but return the gesture.
"So seriously, you're into the whole show tunes thing, i actually think i saw your Regionals performance last year, rocked it. But what else are you into?" Ashlee, who Rachel was super excited to learn was a really nice girl and also a tattoo artist, she was feminine figured but sported a more tom boyish look that suited her well and worse her dirty blond hair in a thick french braid over her left shoulder.
"Not really. I dance. I'm kind of boring i've come to realise recently. I've always been kind of driven. I want to be on broadway, or i did. Lately i've been reevaluating my life goals." Rachel shrugs a little.
"You sure? If broadway is what you want you should go for it." Dana, Mary-Ann's best friend and also good friend to Ashlee, inquired curiously. Dana was a bit more Quinn like in looks, gorgeous features, nice body and dressed feminine, she had straight mouse brown hair that settled between her shoulder blades and blue eyes.
"Well... i just... its complicated. Its what i wanted, i was practically raised to want it. But, i don't know, things are just different now." Rachel sighs gently and shrugs yet again.
"You know, its not a pity party or anything. But my parents were really into helping me follow that dream they instilled in me right. Then my birth mother shows up, sneaks her way back into my life only to then realise i'm not what she was expecting and that she cant do the whole mum thing. Which was secretly devastating because growing up with two dads i always wondered you know. I guess since then things have just changed. My dads don't even ask me to go away with them on weekends anymore, that's why i adopted Nyx today. I'm just... tired of being lonely." Rachel was honest with her knew friends if nothing else and it warmed her when Ashlee sidled closer and looped an arm around her shoulders.
"Its not a pity party, but don't worry, you've got yourself three awesome new friends here." Ashlee smiles and Rachel cant help chuckling.
"You guys have been so awesome to me." Rachel smiled and then when prompted by Dana handed her phone over where the other girl put her own and Ashlee's number in it.
"We have yours alright from Mare." Dana explains as she hands it back.
The night goes on from there, they finish up eating and then head out to the bowling alley. Thanks to Ashlee solely she and Rachel smoke the other team all in good fun. Much laughs and fun is had and by the time Rachel was dropped off at home she was feeling a lot better about herself than she had in a long while now. Nyx was happy to meet her new human and Rachel gladly took the dog out into the yard to let her relieve herself before the two turned in. Rachel had a shower and got into her pajamas and went to bed.
Rachel was at the dog park the next day, Nyx had been trotting around and sniffing at things but every so often she would come back over and check in with Rachel who was more than happy to sit and watch the dog doing its dog things. It was one of the moments that she was watching the dog when her phone began to ring, she answered it without looking only to smile when she heard Dana greet her.
"Hey, Rach. How's it going?" The older girl asks smiling.
"Hey Dana. Its going alright, my dads are due home in a few hours, i'll get to see what they think of their new front door... and my dog." Rachel chuckles and Dana laughs lightly as the four friends had spent a good part of last night trying to decide what the reactions would be.
"That's great, be sure to let us know. Hey i called because we wanted to invite you out. There's a new movie coming out Monday, we wanted to know if you wanted to go see it with us Wednesday night. Not too late cause we know its a school night and Ash has a client Thursday morning." Dana suggests with a hopeful tinge to her voice.
"Yeah that sound's great. You guys picking me up or am i meeting you there?" Rachel asks curiously.
"Meeting us. We'd pick you up but Mary-Ann and Ash are having dinner with Mary's parents in West Lima and by the time they get over there after picking me up we'd end up missing the start." Dana explains apologetically.
"Hey don't worry about it i dont mind." Rachel smiles into the phone and Dana herself was grinning on the other line.
"Great. Don't forget to tell us how your dads handle the home changes. I have to get back to work now though my boss is giving me the stink eye." Dana laughs on her end and Rachel chuckles.
"You bet, bye Dana." Rachel smiled and listened to the farewell from her friend and then hung up.
Nyx trotted back over to check on her human at that point before trotting off again, she seemed to be playing with a tiny fluffy Pomeranian thing. Smiling Rachel didn't notice a couple of familiar people moving in her general direction with sneers on their faces. She was still watching the dogs playing together when she was suddenly assaulted by something wet dumped over her head. Gasping she jumped up and away from the people looming over her.
"What's up RuPaul, taking yourself for a walk to the dog park?" Dave Karofsky, of course.
Before Rachel could even begin to say anything Nyx trotted over and when she looked at the boys, Azimio was with Dave, the dogs ears lay back and she started snarling furiously. The boys stepped back, the sneers wiped off their faces and Rachel watched in wonder and amusement as Nyx lunged forward barking angrily. It was a feint attack really, all posturing on Nyx's part, but the boys practically fell over themselves to get away from the seemingly savage dog. Nyx kept barking until she deemed the boys far enough away and then turned and happily trotted back to her little human. Rachel laughed.
"Rachel! Honey, we're home!" Hiram Berry called through the garage door entrance into the kitchen.
"I'm out the back yard Dad!" Rachel calls back. Neither man notices the dog food bowls.
Rachel was sitting on the grass with the large dog trotting across the grass to her with a rope and ball toy in her maw. Hiram stops and stares for a moment before he is joined by his husband. Rachel looks over with a smile before its wiped off her face by LeRoy's startled yelp of fear and the man steps back into the house closing the door. This response seems to be the catalyst for Hiram and Rachel really couldn't have anticipated this response. Not for a minute.
"What the hell is that thing doing here?" Hiram practically barks at his daughter.
"This is Nyx. I adopted her." Rachel frowns as she stood up, Nyx at her side.
"Well you can take her back." Hiram practically growls
"Dad? Why are you mad at me?" Rachel really just couldn't understand.
"You can't have that dog here. Get rid of it. Tonight." Hiram scowls at his daughter.
"What? No. Dad she's so sweet, i like her." Rachel frowns her hand resting on the dogs shoulder.
"Its not staying here." Hiram was dead set pissed off about the whole situation.
"You know what... fine. But if the dog goes, i'm going with it." Rachel stomps her foot and tells Nyx to stay.
Hiram doesn't have a chance to respond before Rachel is breezing past him and storming upstairs. LeRoy doesn't hardly even notice his daughter, too focused on making sure the dog stays where it was and doesn't come any closer. With a pounding heart Rachel throws her jeans and tees into a suit case along with her underwear, bras and socks, shampoo toothpaste and brush. She then grabs Nyx's blankets brush as well as her own hairbrush and the dogs collar and lead. She doesnt even think about it, she was fed up and tired and just so over the way her life was so far. Unwanted, controlled, belittled, teased and tormented.
Hiram tried to stop Rachel, tried to speak to her but the little brunette wasn't listening, she grabbed the dogs bowls an food putting them in a bag and attaching it to her suitcase before she grabbed her car keys and wallet and moved past her fathers and out the back door. She didn't notice there were tears streaming down her face until Nyx had licked her cheek while she was putting her collar on. Sniffling the short girl stood up and looked at her parents.
"Welcome home." She chokes out before leaving out the side gate.
Rachel had pulled over not long after she had left her fathers home, she couldn't drive while she was shaking and crying so hard. Instead she took several minutes to try and compose herself. Only when she had her wits about her did she decide on a game plan. She was going to the bank to withdraw what money she had in her bank account and then try and find a pet friendly motel for the night. She would figure things out with Nyx tomorrow once her head was cleared. Her good mood and enjoyable weekend so easily destroyed.
"Don't worry, i'm not going to school today. I'm going to sort something else out so i can keep you." Rachel explains to the dog as she puts her collar on the dog and the leash before getting her phone, keys and wallet.
It was early and Rachel hadn't slept at all the night before. She was going to sell her car and use the money to rent a town house not to far from the school that she had found on the real estate website she had gotten on the night before while parked outside of McDonald's. With a deep and slightly shaky sigh she took the dog and got in her car and headed to the dealership and was slightly thankful that her parents had bought her a brand new car only a few months ago, probably over compensating for that weekend absences.
Once at the dealer ship they offered her 50% of the original cost and landed herself around 11,000 dollars for the vehicle. She wasn't deluded enough to think that this would do her for very long at all but it was a massive help. With the money deposited directly to her bank account she made her way on foot to the nearest real estate agency to talk about the townhouse. The yard wasn't huge and the townhouse itself wasn't super fancy but it was kind of cheap and allowed pets under the understanding the animal was toilet trained.
By the afternoon Rachel had moved into the townhouse, it wasn't in a bad part of town and her next door neighbor was an elderly woman. Edith had thought Nyx was absolutely gorgeous and much like Rachel had practically fallen in love with the dog straight away. Since the townhouse itself was a two apartment kind of set up that Rachel shared with Edith the woman had even said she would open the gate between yards to Nyx could have the run of both yards. It had been hard for Rachel, who had been on the verge all day, not to cry at the woman's generosity but she made it through. The better part of the town houses is that they came furnished, nothing state of the art, but a bed and a sofa was just fine.
By nine that evening Rachel had fed the dog and eaten the cheese burger and fries she had bought herself, she enjoyed the food even if she didnt like what it would do to her body. After all, she had been a vegan before that was how she had been raised, no matter, she would run at school tomorrow during her free period before coming home. Ultimately she was just thankful to have a roof over her head as she sincerely thought she would have to sleep in her car. Oh well, she could do this grown up adult thing and she would make it on her own. She ignored the phone calls from her fathers and had even ignored them Dana and Mary-Ann. It was Ashlee's call, while she was laying in her new bed with Nyx beside her, that she finally picked up.
"Rachel! You haven't responded to any of our texts or anything! What's been going on?" Ashlee sounded rather concerned and Rachel had a feeling the woman was with her girlfriend and their best friend as well.
"I'm sorry. I can't come to the movie on Wednesday." Rachel gets out in a voice that was far more strained than she intended it to be.
"Rach... sweetie. Where are you?" Dana asked gently into the phone.
"I'm... ok. I'm fine. I'm going to be fine. But i had to sell my car." Rachel manages, by some miracle, to get the words out without choking.
"Rachel... what happened?" Ashlee's voice was soothing.
"I... they freaked out about Nyx. They wanted to me to get rid of her. They wouldn't even explain why... so i left. I'm... i found a place to rent after i sold my car." Rachel had tears running down her face.
"Where are you?" Mary-Ann asked gently.
"Heralds Court. I'm renting a townhouse. I need a job but... its ok. I'm ok." Rachel was no longer sure if she was trying to reassure her friends or herself.
"Rachel." The way the three women said her name was both pained and painful.
"I'm ok. Just... please don't stop being my friends. Maybe... maybe you guys can come over some night soon and... and we can hang out or something." Rachel sniffles.
"You bet babe, just... get some sleep ok. One of us will check in with you tomorrow. Hang in there, you're not alone. You have us." Ashlee offers sincerely and Rachel smiles when Mary-Ann speaks up.
"And Nyx."
"If you need anything, even if its just to borrow a car or get a lift, you let us know." Dana speaks up and there are mumbled sounds of agreement in the background.
"Thanks guys. You're all amazing. I really think i just need to get to sleep though. I plan to go to school tomorrow and i never slept last night." Rachel offers gently.
"You do that. We will talk to you tomorrow little babe." Mary-Ann says and the other two say there good-nights as well. Rachel mumbles her own before hanging up, curling in a ball and crying herself to sleep.
The following day saw Rachel walking through the halls of McKinley with her hands in her jeans pockets and completely oblivious to the strange looks she was getting. After all its not as though any of these people had seen her in jeans and a tee before. She made it to lunch time before she found herself wearing a slushy, Dave Karofsky laughing as he walked down the hall and binned the empty slushy cup. It didn't matter though, it wasn't anything new and was remedied with Rachel's emergency slushy kit, jeans and a tee.
The day seemed to drag on before Rachel found herself in the choir room at the end of the day, she only had to be there for Glee and then she could go home and get her dog before going job searching. She had spent her free period typing up a CV, it was meager at best but it was all she could come up with and no doubt something she would need. She would find out sooner or later though and when Mr Schue came in and started rattling things off about what they needed to do for Regionals this year and all that.
Rachel was sitting in her seat not really listening all that much, Finn was sitting with Puck which was fine with her. She hadn't realised she was being spoken to by Mr Schue until Artie, who was closer to her than anyone else, reached over to get her attention before gesturing towards Mr Schue. Said Glee director was looking at Rachel curiously and a little confused. After all she was usually paying way more attention than anyone else.
"Did you have anything to add, Rachel?" Mr Schue asks curiously.
"No sir." Rachel says softly and gives a slight shake to her head.
"Well... alright. Then you guys can go ahead and go." Mr Schue flashed a smile and everyone got up to go.
Rachel didn't make it far before she was being pulled up by Finn, Finn who was back with Quinn at this point in high school. Looking at the boy with a bored look Rachel took a deep breath and waited for the inevitable.
"Hey Rach. I uh, i couldn't help but notice you seemed really out of it today. I um... i guess i didn't realise Quinn and i getting back together would have such an affect on you." The clueless fool offers almost apologetically.
"Don't kid yourself Finn. I'm fine. Have a nice life." Rachel offers a humorless chuckle, shakes her head and leaves the confused by standing there.
Rachel didn't have the time or desire to deal with Finn Hudson, in fact she was at this point ridiculously over him, him and anyone else even. Rachel had been reevaluating her life and where it was headed and she wasn't sure she was as convinced she needed anyone else now. In fact she was so far doing just fine all by her lonesome. With a little pep in her step the girl headed back to her home to get her dog and go out hunting for after school work, she would need to bring some sort of income to her home if she wished to keep it, which also meant keeping Nyx.
Once she had greeted the dog and gotten some water for herself she put the creatures collar on and headed out with Nyx at her side. She stopped in and dropped off an application for several places, the Lima Bean, her favourite coffee joint, was last and the manager was actually willing to speak with her right away. The impromptu interview was shared outside with a coffee in hand and seemed to go really well, even better when she was actually offered a job and would be spending Wednesday, Thursday and Friday after school training with one of the barista's before a final decision would be made. Rachel honestly couldnt have been happier about this.
It was Friday night before Rachel again got to hang out with her friends, Ashlee, Dana and Mary-Ann had all agreed to come over and just chill out at Rachels new place with her for a while. That way they could all talk without worry and get to the bottom of things regarding the younger girl and just what had happened. It also happened to be that the three friends wanted to know how their little friend was doing, mentally and all that. They had only been there fifteen minutes before there was a knock on the door and Rachel smiled when Edith was on the other side of the door.
"Hello Sweetheart, i know its probably past dinner time but i finally got around to baking that Lasagna i promised when you moved in." Edith handed off the casserole dish before Rachel could speak and stooped down to greet the happy dog wagging her tail at the woman's feet.
"Thank you, you know you didn't have to do that." Rachel chuckled softly and noted the plate of cookies on top of the casserole dish.
"Nonsense. Now i'll be on my way, i've got more cookies in the oven. You girls enjoy." Edith flashed a smile at the otherwise silent girls on the sofa before leaving.
Rachel grinned at her friends and set the cookies on the small coffee table in front of her friends. They happily dug into the cookies while Rachel went to the kitchen and portioned out the lasagna into separate containers, put two in the fridge and the other six in the freezer for a later date. Rachel herself had baked a couple different Casseroles over the last two nights and portioned them and froze them so she wouldn't have to cook for herself every day. Joining her friends on the sofa Rachel took a cookie and munched on it as she relaxed.
"I thought you were vegan." Ashlee pointed out after a moment and Rachel grinned.
"I'm living in an overbearing-parent free zone these days and have recently discovered the wonders that is the McDonald's Cheese burger." Rachel informs much to the amusement of her friends.
"You know what you need." Ashlee comments when they can settled again.
"Ash." Chides Mary-Ann before she can continue.
"No seriously, Rach needs a tattoo. I'll do you one for free, i have my own stuff i keep in the car, i can do it tonight even." Ash offers seriously.
"Ok. But not tonight. If i'm going to get something i want to put some thought into it first." Rachel says seriously.
"Sounds perfect, you just let me know when you figure it out." Ashlee beams happily.
"Now tell us. What happened. How did you end up here?" Dana asks curiously.
"I don't even know. They got home and i said i was in the yard. They come out, daddy freaked out and dad kind of just lost it on me. Told me to get rid of the dog, didn't want to listen to anything i said. So i just said fine, if Nyx was going i was going with her. I was just... i'm so over it all. Every aspect of my life was either planned or controlled and i just... i'm not feeling it anymore. Hell the only reason i'm still in glee is because i love to sing but going to broadway? I'm not even sure that's what i want anymore." Rachel sighs and shrugs her shoulders before getting another cookie.
"Wow that's... from the way you spoke of them they seemed way more reasonable than that." Mary-Ann frowns.
"Imagine how surprised i was." Rachel gives a mirthless chuckle.
"We've got your back little babe. You and Nyx." Ashlee promises with a sincere smile.
From then on the evening dissolved into chatter, the three older women were genuinely surprised and happy to learn that Rachel was actually handling things really well and was being surprisingly mature and thoughtful about it all instead of whining and being frivolous. By the time they left all four girls felt better about things going on with the little singer right now. They would be there for the younger woman without a doubt, the three had been a relatively secluded group until they'd found Rachel and they genuinely enjoyed the little singers company. Rachel went to bed for the first time since Sunday with a smile on her face.
Come the following Monday Rachel was actually in a pretty good mood as she made it to school and went to her locker, she had gotten the job at the Lima Bean and would be working Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday after schools and a full shift on Saturdays. Rachel wouldn't complain about that one little bit, she needed it and it gave her purpose. Working meant she could maintain school and her new lifestyle of living alone with her dog. She was doing great until she literally bumped into someone.
"Watch it, Man-hands." Santana snaps as she dusts herself off.
"Sorry, Santana." Rachel apologises before stepping around the girl and heading off for her first class.
"Sorry? You never say sorry." Santana fell into step beside the little singer.
"Surprise!" Rachel says with fake enthusiasm.
"Seriously? Berry, what the hell is up?" Santana was honestly confused.
"Nothing, Santana. It's not like we are even friends so what's it too you?" Rachel heaves a sigh when it seems the persistent latina isn't backing off.
"We are team mates though and you've been weird all last week. You haven't insisted on any solo's, you haven't raised your Man-hands all week, you have barely said a word even. It's freaking everyone out." Santana frowns at the smaller girl.
"Then why are you the only one that's said anything?" Rachel counters mildly.
"Seriously Rachel... what's going on." Santana didn't fight, she didn't come across as aggressive, she didn't even seem to be peeved about being the one there asking questions.
"Nothing Santana... I'm just... i'm not sure Broadway is what i want anymore." Rachel was so serious about this and it actually startled Santana a little.
"Rachel... What happened?" Santana actually placed her hand on Rachel's arm. Willingly.
"Its nothing. Just... i've come to a few realisations about myself." Rachel shrugs and steps out from under Santana's hand because it was too much.
"Rach?" Santana was genuinely concerned.
"Lopez! You're meant to be in my office!" Sue Sylvester shouted down the hall, the crowd in the hall parted as if to open the space so her voice could carry further.
"Thank you." Rachel whispered it as Santana had reluctantly turned away from her. Santana looked back with the softest expression Rachel had ever seen before she trotted down to Sue.
The rest of the day went similarly to how the morning went except Santana didn't approach Rachel again, instead Rachel would randomly catch the latina watching her and would send a small smile before the Cheerio would look away. By the end of the day Rachel had managed to get out without getting Slushied which was a mean feat for her and she promptly made her way to the Lima Bean to start her shift. She had spoken with Edit and although Nyx spent most of her time in the house she would occasionally trot over and meet with the older woman and share some love.
While she was at work, which she caught onto quickly, she quickly learned that the people working there were relatively laid back, she enjoyed joking around when them when it was slow. She enjoyed even more when it was busy because it made the time go quicker and gave her the opportunity to excel at her job. She was a part timer and occasionally she would sing along to the radio but this didn't seem to both anyone scheduled on with her and when she closed of a night pretty much everyone offered her a ride home which she wasn't inclined to decline.
When she got home she would reheat some of the food she had precooked, feed Nyx and sit down and watch a little TV until she was done, she would rinse off her dishes and set them to dry before going upstairs and getting ready for bed. This was how her week progressed, on Fridays or Saturday's after work Rachel would end up having the girls over to hang for a while. Come the following Monday she was fairly well settled into her routine and still wasn't speaking to her fathers. Not that they hadn't been trying to get a hold of her.
"Glee meeting during lunch today." Brittany informed Rachel in passing on Monday morning.
Frowning slightly Rachel just shrugged and went about her day until lunch time and she was due in the choir room which she headed to with a curious expression. She didn't know what to expect, everything had seemed relatively well on track with Glee so it was a little odd to be having this meeting now but so be in. It became a little clearer when Rachel walked into the choir room to see that everyone else was already there, which kind of never happened. It was even more revealing when Mr Schue gestured Rachel sit in a seat in front of everyone.
"Whats... going on?" Rachel asks frowning slightly once she was sat.
"Well... You've seemed kind of off lately." Mr Schue comments slowly.
"Yes?" Rachel frowned wanting the man to get to the point.
"We wanted to give you an environment where you might feel comfortable enough to talk about whats troubling you." Mr Schue furthers looking at the group above them.
"You... really?" Rachel cant help the dry laugh. "No thanks."
"What? Rachel... you need to talk about whats going on. You've been unusually quiet lately." Mr Schue says slowly and there are a few nods among peers.
"And you want me to talk about it? My feelings? To all of you?" Rachel was almost grinning but there was no mirth in it.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Mercedes frowns at the smaller Diva.
"It means the only people i can even stand is Santana and Brittany. The rest of you are underhanded and two faced. Why would i tell you anything to do with me personally." Rachel laughed now and shook her head like this was all some big joke.
"We're underhanded and two faced? Pot, you're black." Kurt sniffs indignantly.
"You dressed me all skanky because you had a crush on Finn and i asked for your help to impress him. I'm a lot of things Kurt, but lets be honest here. None of you are my friends." Rachel says seriously her laugh dying down as she frowns.
"Rachel..." Mr Schue starts obviously not liking how this is going.
"No, Mr Schue, its the truth. None of you can even really stand me, you all wish i'd be quiet, now i am quiet there's a problem? Face it the only reason you even want me here is because i actually have a decent voice. Don't stand in front of me and pretend to care when you don't give a shit." Rachel shakes her head and stands up.
"Wait. I don't get it. You said the only people you can stand is Brittany and Santana. The ditsy blonde and the resident bitch?" Finn had a deep confused frown on his face which was almost typical to his relaxed face.
"That's right. Because Brittany isn't mean to anyone and no matter how nasty Santana can be, what you see is what you get." Rachel shrugs her shoulders and chuckles.
"Now, i'd like to go eat my lunch so this little glee-vention is over." And with that Rachel turned on her heel and walked out of the Choir room.
"Well that went... terribly." Sam comments with a frown.
"You think?" Quinn snarks.
"I don't see what the problem is. If she wants to be all mellow and stuff why aren't we letting her? Its like she said, when shes chipper we just want her to shut up." Artie comments with a shrug.
"Because. Somethings happened." Santana says putting her nail file in her Letterman jacket.
"Why do you even care? You give her more shit that anyone in this room." Puck points out frowning.
"Whatever." Santana scowls deeply and gets up and walks out as well. It was the beginning of a tense week in Glee club.
"So what do you want again?" Ashlee was there alone this Friday night. Mary-Ann had to be up early and Dana was out of town for the weekend with her boyfriend.
"I want a feather on my left side and a lotus on my finger, is that too much? I can pay you." Rachel says slightly anxiously.
"What are the chances you'll let me give you a third tattoo?" Ashlee asks grinning at her little friend.
"Um, what did you have in mind?" Rachel asks curiously.
"Well, here's where i'm hoping you will trust me, but i want to do something small on your wrist? I promise nothing embarrassing or anything." Ashlee had taken Rachel's hand in her own and pulls her closer, Rachel was standing between her knees.
"Well you are a professional so i'm willing to trust you." Rachel smiles warmly and Ashlee grins and tugs at the bottom of Rachel's shirt.
"Great, shirt off, lets do the hard one first." Ashlee suggests sincerely and Rachel pulls her tee off. "Oh front clasp bra, sexy." Ashlee pats the sofa for Rachel to lay down, left side up.
"I may be a virgin, but i'm a damn hot one." Rachel says with slightly false bravado.
"Yeah you are." Ashlee laughs and gently pushes the side of Rachel's bra a little higher before cleaning off the area with an alcohol wipe.
"Tell me though, no boyfriend? You mentioned a Finn." Ashlee inquires as she sets black ink in a small pot and picks up a tattoo gun.
"Yeah no. I guess i had a crush on him, big dopey idiot though and really selfish. I sort of thought things were going ok and it kind of did until he broke up with me to go on a date with two cheerleaders." Rachel winced when Ash started the freehand feather, the artist had done quite a few feathers in her career so far and they were one of her favorite things to do.
"Yikes. I mean were they at least hot?" Ashlee asks with a grin.
"The hottest. Brittany and Santana. Pretty much the only two people in that stupid school i can actually handle right now." Rachel might have shrugged but she couldn't move while Ashlee was putting needle to skin.
"Tell me about them?" Ashlee prods because it was best to keep Rachel distracted while working on this tattoo because it was in a sensitive spot.
"Well, Brittany is really gorgeous and an amazing dancer, maybe the Glee clubs best dancer. I mean she could go places dancing the way she does. But shes also really naive and a little ditsy but there isn't a mean bone in her body either." Rachel explains about the blonde and Ashlee nods.
"She sounds nice for sure then, how are you two not friends?" Ashlee was slightly confused.
"Because of her pitbull of a girlfriend. Santana." Rachel scoffs slightly.
"Tell me about her." Ash chuckles at the little singers response. Nyx was laying on the floor next to the couch.
"Santana. I am almost, like 99% positive that she is so deep in the closet that she likes to pretend she isn't in it at all. She's hyper aggressive, like gives absolutely no shit who she says what ever she wants to say to people. She is turbo protective of Brittany and i'm pretty sure that they are sleeping together regularly. Or were, Brittany has started dating a guy in Glee. Santana is just straight up mean though. Has tormented me for years." Rachel explains and sighs softly.
"You speak about her rather passionately." Ashlee observes.
"Kind of. She's a bitch you know, but shes also just really genuine. She doesn't pretend to like you and then throw it in your face later. She's also really beautiful, i'm not sure she knows it though." Rachel looked over at her friend who was now doing some shading for the feather.
"I'm sensing a Sapphic appreciation here." Ashlee comments looking at her little friend curiously.
"I never once said i was straight. But kind of yes, i've always had... Sapphic appreciation for Santana. Not that she will ever learn about it." Rachel wrinkles her nose.
"Why not?" Ashlee was a little confused.
"Because of the McKinley caste system, i'm on the bottom of the totem pole and she is on the top. She's dubbed me, among others, names such as Man-hands, Treasure-trail, RuPaul, Dwarf, Hobbit and other such similar names. Santana doesn't see me as anymore more than pond scum at the bottom of a deeply stagnant pool of water so free of oxygen that not even a goldfish would survive." Rachel huffs at this and Ashlee is silent for a little bit, working, until she isn't and she seems to be finished with the feather as she sprays on some antiseptic and wipes the excess ink and blood away from the now complete feather.
"You know you aren't these thing right? You're gorgeous, you are tiny, but you're gorgeous. You're not a cross dresser or transgender or any of that. You're Rachel Berry and this place isn't good enough for you." Ashlee says helping her friend sit up.
"Yeah, i know. I mean deep down. It doesn't mean that sometimes these things don't bother me." Rachel gives a slight shrug and looks under her arm happily at the new tattoo on her side, Ashlee had taped some cling wrap over it to spare her clothes from leaked ink and blood.
"Of course it does, babe you're a human not a robot." Ashlee smiles at her little friend who smiles back.
"You want to know what i think?" The older girl asks while handing Rachel back the tee-shirt the little singer had taken off earlier.
"I'm sure you will tell me anyway." Rachel teases.
"I would. But i was going to say that i think you should just do you. Screw anyone else. You're going to out grown this place and you've already out grown most of your peers. But... don't give up on the idea of someone. You're hot for Santana? Show her, tell her, befriend her. Let her scathing words roll off like water off a ducks back because chances are once you get past them that little girl is going to break." Ashlee worked on putting in clean needles as she spoke but Rachel hung on every word.
"You think its just a front?" Rachel asks gently.
"I think the only thing holding that girl up is the words she slings. I was exactly the same way, in fact i may have been worse and the shitty part? I was so stressed out over it for no reason, worried my parents were going to flip? They were nothing but happy for me and all i had done was freak out about it all." Ashlee shrugs gently looking at her friend.
"It's one thing i never had to worry about with my dads i guess." Rachel says gently.
"Yeah. Are they still calling?" Ashlee asks steering the conversation away from Rachel's peers.
"Five or six times a day." Rachel wrinkles her nose a little and holds her hand out for Ashlee who doesn't hesitate to do the tattoo, it was small and just thick lines so it really didn't take long at all. Rachel nearly rather the one on her side though.
"You should talk to them. You don't have to go back, but just talk to them. Let them know you're safe and kind of happy where you are." Ashlee suggest and Rachel nods.
"I'll think about it." The little singer agrees.
Work had been going well for Rachel the following day, her tattoos were irritating her a little but not to much and it was just because they were so new, she had on a long sleeve black shirt to keep the phoenix on her wrist hidden while it heals and a band-aid and glove on her finger. Ashlee had explained she had done the brown/gold phoenix because it symbolized rebirth and Rachel was reborn, better and stronger than before. Rachel had kind of loved the phoenix, loved even more that it had no black in it, it was perfectly defined but not standing out like a sore thumb.
"Your breaks up, Rach." Tyler, one of the full time guys moved over to Rachel and handed her a cappuccino made just the way Rachel likes it.
"Thanks. I'm going to go sit." Rachel leaves her apron on but heads for the back of the cafe where there was an empty table.
Rachel had only just pulled her phone out of her pocket when it started to ring, it was her dads, again. This time was only the third time today but even still Rachel rolled her eyes. Yet Ashlee's words came back to her from last night and for a moment she contemplated not answering before finally she decided to just bite the bullet.
"Hello?" Rachel spoke into the phone.
"Rachel! Oh thank god." LeRoy spoke with a wealth of relief in his voice.
"Rachel? Honey, where have you been? When are you coming home?" Hiram spoke up as well, obviously she was on speaker phone.
"Can Nyx come?" Rachel asks flatly.
"No, this is foolish, you left home all over a dog. We've been looking everywhere for you. Just take the dog back to the shelter and come home." Hiram huffs annoyed that this was even a topic of conversation.
"Then no thank you. First off, you haven't been looking everywhere for me or you would have checked into the school two weeks ago! Secondly, I don't need you to pretend to care anymore, i have my own place i have a job to support myself and i'm doing ok." Rachel explains keeping her frustration mostly out of her voice.
"Rachel this is foolish, all over a dog." LeRoy says with a tinge of annoyance in his voice.
"No, it isn't all over a dog. Its over the fact you guys leave every weekend and leave me at home. It over the fact that every weekend people vandalise the front door and i'm the one there fixing it so you don't have to see it. Its over the fact that not too long ago my birth mother stepped in and then bowed out of my life right before you guys abandoned me every weekend. Its over the fact that i'm fucking lonely and tired. I'm tired of the clothes because you guys think they are cute and i just want to make you happy no matter how much grief they get me at school, its over the fact i won a Yahweh damned singing competition when i was three! You forged my life and moulded me into exactly what you wanted and forsaking what i want." Rachel had hissed the words into the phone so not to draw the attention of the cafe but had tears streaming down her face.
"I got Nyx because i wanted to feel safe on a weekend while i was yet again alone, because i didn't want to risk the people who pain the door realising i was there alone and forcing their way in. I got the dog because i had no friends, not a single one. I got the dog because i was tired of being alone, of having no love thrown my way. I will not get rid of Nyx, and i will not be coming home. If i matter to you at all, then feel free to continue giving me an allowance, come and visit me and my dog. If you want to cut me loose... now is your chance. Don't call me again unless its because you want to be in my life." Rachel sniffled and hung up the phone.
Rachel had no idea that someone had been standing within earshot, a tall blonde who had been waiting for a friend. She also didnt see said blonde walking about the cafe without her friend. Rachel was too busy trying to discreetly wipe the tears from her face to have noticed this.
Rachel hadn't heard from her dads again, they had deposited a very large sum of money, 50k kind of large, into her bank account. It hurt, like it really hurt, but this, like most other things was just set aside as another fact of Rachel's life. Regardless of this she had gone and purchased an excellent condition used car and had gone and bought some proper groceries as well as a large box which she was going to put Nyx in as she was due in a couple of days. Of course the dog would come and go but it was Rachel's hope that that was where the dog would whelp.
Monday morning she was up and ready early and swung by next door and gave Edith a heads up on the Nyx situation and the woman promised to keep an eye on the dog. Afterwards she drove to school via the Lima Bean, her schedule had come out the day before and it was pretty much the same as the last week which suited her just fine but now that she had a car again she had no issues stopping to grab an early morning cappuccino. Once at school she walked down the halls sipping her steaming beverage.
Rachel barely noticed in time, she had cringed when she had seen the Letterman in front of her, but when the slushy splattered on the floor in front of her it was surprisingly covering a shocked Dave Karofsky. Rachel was a little confused and looking past the football player and to the retreating form of a skipping Brittany heading down the hall, shaking ice off her hand, she only became more confused. The slushy was meant for her, there was no doubt, but Brittany had made sure it landed on Dave instead of her.
Brittany was definitely an enigma, she was so sweet and kind and not really mean at all but Rachel was beginning to understand that the girl could be fierce. Stepping around the still shocked and gasping Dave, Rachel continued on her way to her locker. Getting her books she went to her first and second class before any other incidences occurred. The next one was thwarted as well, Azimio attempted the same thing Karofsky had earlier, except this time instead of Brittany it was Santana who had knocked the slushy from the jocks hands and tipped her own over the boys head without missing stride on her way down the hall. Rachel was bemused.
"Did Santana just slushy someone for you?" Noah Puckerman stepped up beside Rachel as she moved about Azimio.
"No. Why would she? Santana slushied someone because she felt like it." Rachel reasoned because the other option made less sense.
"Odd." Noah shrugs and heads off to his own locker.
"No kidding." Rachel murmurs.
"Alright guys, that's it for today, if anyone has anything they would like to say or sing..." Schue lets it hang and is a little surprised when Santana and Brittany stand up.
"We would like to sing a song together." Brittany smiles warmly.
"Well by all means, take it away." Mr Schue claps and gives the floor over, Ben starts in on the piano and the band follows suit.
Never been the type to leave much room for anyone to speak
Always been about what I want, listen to me while I preach
Never been the kind to make much space for emotions in a fight
Anything I didn't wanna hear, I just preached 'til what was right
Rachel tilted her head, she knew this song, in fact she owned this Album and was a pretty big fan of Tegan in Sara in general. Two sisters both with at least a bisexual orientation and not even a little bit afraid, and were in fact quite successful? Hell yeah Rachel loved those two.
But you, you got me on the line
Told me that you think it's time
Make a change or this is gonna stall
Shape up or you'll drop me like a call
The two girls were looking at Rachel now as they sang and it took a moment, an embarrassingly long one, to realise the intent. Santana and Brittany were apologising for the years of torment at their hand. Well the torment at Santana's, Brittany kind of never really tormented her but she never tried to stop it either. They were both guilty of treating Rachel like a leper. But this? Singing there apology and in front of the rest of the Glee club. Rachel was a little over whelmed.
Now I wanna write a love song
Even though you never ever ask me for one
Write you a letter, send sweet poems
Ask you for forgiveness, tell you I was wrong
Sit myself down, bring my pride in
And start to focus, change who I've been
Give me a second, let me u-turn
Write you the love song you've earned
Neither girl tried to hide just who they were singing to and even approached Rachel, making it part of their choreography to take the little singers hands and kiss her knuckles with a smile. Rachel wasn't silly, this wasn't a declaration of romantic love, Brittany was with Artie and Santana was with... well she wasn't sure this week but Rachel wasn't deluded enough to think this was romantic in any way. Yet it touched her quite deeply even if she didn't know the inspiration behind the song.
I been at this so long I can barely stand to think it now
Every second of my life, pushed back until I broke them down
I've been selfish so long I don't know why you would ever stay
Every minute you've been here, I've been pushing you and your love away
But you, you got me on the line
Told me that you think it's time
Make a change or this is gonna stall
Shape up or you'll drop me like a call
Now I wanna write a love song
Even though you never ever ask me for one
Write you a letter, send sweet poems
Ask you for forgiveness, tell you I was wrong
Sit myself down, bring my pride in
And start to focus, change who I've been
Give me a second, let me u-turn
Write you the love song you've earned
Every time I think I hurt you
All I have to do is think through
What I want, list your virtues
Apologize, I don't deserve you
Every time I know I hurt you
All I have to do is run through
What I need, list your virtues
Apologize, I don't deserve you
Now I wanna write a love song
Even though you never ever ask me for one
Write you a letter, send sweet poems
Ask you for forgiveness, tell you I was wrong
Sit myself down, bring my pride in
And start to focus, change who I've been
Give me a second, let me u-turn
Write you the love song you've earned
Give me a second, let me u-turn
Write you the love song you've earned
By the time the song had finished the two cheerleaders had manoeuvred their chairs to either side of Rachel's and were now sat with their hands holding each of Rachel's. Rachel had a faint blush on her face but for the first time in far too long it was also accompanied by a genuine and happy smile. The rest of the group seemed suddenly confused before Mr Schue began to clap his hands, the others following suit. Except for Finn that was, he was looking rather confused and constipated.
"So... Santana and Brittany are in love with Rachel?" Finn asks frowning.
"No. They are not. They were apologising." Rachel rolled her eyes because of course that was the connection that he made.
"Apologising for what?" Sam frowned right along with Finn.
"How about for being total bitches for no reason? The slushies, the name calling." Santana snarked and shrugged, neither she nor Brittany had released her hands yet.
"We don't understand though, why now?" Mr Schue frowns.
"That's for us to know and you to... maybe find out." Brittany says with a pleasant smile on her face.
The group dissolved into discussion for a brief few minutes before Mr Schue finally just dismissed them. The cheerleaders finally let go of Rachel's hands but walked with the girl out of the choir room. Santana had noticed that the singer never stayed back to practice notes or piano or any of that anymore and it had made her curious. The information that Brittany had handed along the day before had been enlightening to say the least.
"What time do you get off work, Berry?" Santana asks curiously, Brittany had stopped off at Artie's locker but not before kissing Rachel's cheek and saying a happy 'see you later' to the two girls.
"Ugh... i close so i don't get out until 8 usually. Maybe 8:30." Rachel was confused as to how Santana even knew she had a job.
"Maybe we can hang out tonight?" Santana asks in a mildly curious yet casual tone.
"Um... I'm confused. I mean i understand you've apologised and like... i forgive you but... we aren't friends." Rachel frowns stopping at her locker.
"Not yet. Listen i... i want things to be different, i need them to be. Between you and me ok? So like... can we hang out? I swear this isn't some prank or anything. I'm genuine. Britt over heard you on the phone to your dads and told me what she heard. Come on, Rachel, i... i want to be there for you. You tell me your secrets and i'll tell you mine?" Santana was genuine, that much Rachel could see.
"Can we sing Kumbaya?" Rachel asks with a straight face and serious tone.
"Uh... i guess?" Santana wrinkled her nose and actually had to work to be nice. That was until she saw Rachel smirking.
"Bitch... You've a mean sense of humor, Berry." Santana chuckles.
"So it seems. Meet me at the Bean or should i pick you up?" Rachel asks, thinking of Ashlee's words last Friday, and deciding to take a chance on Santana.
"I can meet you." Santana grins. "I'll see you later, Berry."
"See you." Rachel says to the retreating form as a smile appears on her own face.
Rachel was just finishing up with the dining room when there was a light knock on the now closed door. With a slight frown she walked over and was slightly surprised to see Santana. Smiling she unlocked the door and pulled her car keys out of her pocket as the door opened.
"You walked?" Rachel asks handing the keys to Santana when the Latina nods.
"I should only be another 15, my cars the orange SUV." Rachel explains and Santana nods and heads around to employee parking while Rachel locked the front door again.
It took Rachel precisely 17 minutes and 25 seconds to finish up with closing with Monica, she was an older woman who had been working at the been for almost a decade. When she walked out the back she had in hand two fresh cappuccinos, Monica who was also leaving at the same time had a Frappuccino in hand. Rachel smiled and said goodnight then headed over to the SUV, pleased when Santana open the door and helped in taking both drinks and setting them in the cup holders.
Rachel climbed into the car and started it up before pulling out and heading on her way to her home. Santana had been looking at Rachel wordlessly but the smaller brunette hadn't spoken since the Lima Bean and Santana became distracted with learning just where it is they were going. Only to be distracted half way there when Rachel's phone rang. The little brunette answered and put it on speaker.
"Hey Day!" Rachel smiled happily as she spoke while driving, glancing at Santana apologetically.
"Hey Rae! How are you little babe?" Dana was obviously smiling herself but also sounded tired.
"I'm really good actually. On my way home. With a friend." Rachel explains though the last comes out a little hesitantly only for Santana to flash a little smile at the singer.
"A friend! That's awesome. Am I on speaker?" Dana asks curiously.
"Yes. Dana say hello to Santana." Rachel chuckles.
"Hello Santana! Wait... Ash mentioned a Santana, same one?" Dana inquired before said Latina could even offer her own greeting. Rachel blushed.
"The one and only." Rachel confirms and ignores the curious look Santana was throwing her.
"Well that's awesome. I was just calling to check in, and to let you know we have Saturday off so it will be a Friday nighter for us this week. I'm looking forward to seeing your new ink." Dana explains sounding a confounding mix of tired and excited.
"Awesome, I can't wait. I'll make that lasagna you guys like or are you bringing take out?" Rachel turned into her street.
"You work so we will bring take out. Chinese I think. What do you want?" Dana asks and yawns.
"Surprise me and also, go and get some rest you sound tired." Rachel smiled and pulled into her lot.
"Yes mum. Talk later Rae." Dana smiles and hangs up when Rachel returns the sentiment.
Looking at Santana, Rachel was met with an intensely curiously gaze and a small smile that held none of the usual malice that the singer might have expected from the cheerleader. Taking her drink from the cup holder and gestures Santana follow her. The cheerleader did exactly that and even held Rachel's drink while the little singer unlocked her front door and let them both Into the unit.
"You're ok with dogs?" Rachel asks curiously, the first thing she had said to the cheerleader since getting in the SUV.
"Sure, I love dogs." Santana offers with a shrug.
"Great. I have one... somewhere." Rachel frowned slightly because normally Nyx was there waiting for her. With a tilt to her head Rachel heads over to the box to check only to gasp at what's inside.
"You have 6 dogs. Sort of." Santana comments with a bright grin.
"Oh my gosh! Nyx! You did so good!" Rachel coos happily reaching over and rubbing her companions ears gently as the tired dog suckled five new born puppies.
Rachel gazed at her dog and the bundles of varying colors, one was all black with white toes, but unlike its mother it was missing the white patch on its chest it seemed. Two were standard tan and white and two looked like they would end up being tri-color collies. They were all cute and still a little wet but happily having their first meal courtesy of the slightly bedraggled Nyx.
"Wow, this is awesome." Rachel smiled happily and looked at Santana.
"I'm not sure if now is a good time to introduce you though." The little singer frowns slightly.
"Nonsense, let me see her. Dogs are a great sense of character after all." Santana smiled and shrugged before stepping around Rachel and kneeling down beside the box closest to Nyx's head.
"Hey, girl. You made little puppers, too cute. My names Santana, i used to be really mean to your mum but i learned fairly recently that i was just being a petty cow and that Rachel is really cool. You think she will give me a second chance to be her friend?" Santana was speaking softly and directly to the dog but there was no doubt in Rachel's mind that the words were meant for her. Nyx seemed to contemplate this for a moment though, before sniffing Santana's offered hand and then licking her fingers tiredly and laying back down.
Rachel looked at her potential new friend with shining eyes and Santana didn't even try to curb her desire to reach over and pull the little singer into her arms and hug her tight. There was a long silence while the hug lingered, Rachel wasn't willing to throw away what Santana was offering even if it did confuse her to the ninth degree. They only pulled back after several long minutes and Rachel had to reach up and wipe her eyes to remove the almost tears. Santana grabbed a tissue from the box on the coffee table and handed it to the little brunette.
"I wont apologise, for the things i've done to you Rachel." Santana says after a moment. Rachel wasn't sure if she was more hurt or confused but she just looked at Santana figuring the girl had more to say.
"Words are cheap. I can say i am sorry, and i would mean it if i did. But actions speak louder than words. I want the chance to be your friend Rachel, to have your back. I want to get to know you, because its become really clear to Britt and i lately that there is way more to you than singing and divaing like an absolute champion." Rachel was floored by Santana's words really, she had never in a million years expected the fiery latina to be here offering genuine friendship.
"I'd forgive you, you know. You and Brittany serenaded me today, that's more than enough to let me know you want to move past our past." Rachel says softly.
Both girls were sitting on the floor by Nyx's box, Rachel had one leg folded under her with the other in front, her foot flat on the floor and her knee drawn up so her chin could rest on it. Santana for her part was sitting on the floor with both her legs crossed in front of her, they were close enough together that there was barely any space between Rachel's foot and the part where Santana's legs over lapped. Not quite enough to share the same air.
"Rach... Brittany said... well... can we talk about it?" Santana asks softly and the little singer nods slowly.
"Ok. But have you eaten? Cause i haven't since lunch today, let me reheat something first?" Rachel rubs her hand down her face before she gets up gracefully.
"I haven't either. We had Cheerios practice today and then Britt had to fill me in on all her Artie stuff." Santana wrinkles her nose and stands following Rachel into the kitchen.
"Sounds tiring. Lasagna ok?" Rachel grabs two, the last two, of Edith's lasagna from the freezer.
"Please." Santana smiles gently and finds two glasses and pours water into both, there was no table in the small kitchen so she took them around the small bench partition and into the living room to set the glasses on the coffee table.
"So, this place is upstairs and downstairs?" Santana asks conversationally and Rachel nods.
"You can look around if you like, i keep it clean so there shouldnt be anything embarrassing laying around." Rachel offers and Santana grins.
"No vibrator on the bed?" The latina teases but was surprised when Rachel only chuckles.
"Haven't been in the mood to get it out of the nightstand lately." Rachel chirps back and laughs louder at Santana's impressed yet completely gobsmacked expression.
"Touche, Berry." Santana laughs after a moment and nips upstairs to check the place out while the lasagna reheated.
When the food was ready Santana came back downstairs and the two sat on the couch with the TV on low while the pair devoured the food. Rachel loved Ediths lasagna and had practically inhaled her slice, she then had to wonder if Santana had even tasted her slice because somehow the starved cheerio was done before Rachel. With the food gone Santana was the one to get up and rinse the dishes while Rachel peeled her shoes off and relaxed on the sofa looking over at the pretty cheerleader.
"So, what did Brittany hear?" Rachel inquires when Santana comes back in and sits beside her on the sofa.
"Well from what she mentioned to me she heard most of it. She said you were crying when you hung up the phone and i'm ashamed to admit that despite her sweet nature she didn't know if i or Q would be ok with her offering you friendship." Rachel could see the shame written on her friends face.
"Its ok. Don't feel bad. You're here now and that counts for a lot for me right now." Rachel admits gently and Santana nods.
"Talk to me, Rachel. Please?" Santana urges.
"I don't even know where to start anymore. I want to blame everyone you know. My dads, my peers, Shelby. But i cant. I just feel so... I don't know. I've gone on and on about winning my first award at 3 months and that's great you know, or at least i used to think it was such an amazing accomplishment. But then i realised it wasn't, i couldn't remember it at all and then i realised what it really signified and i start to hate myself for thinking it because its just... its mean. But now i'm convinced its true." Rachel shakes her head and takes a deep breath.
"What are you talking about? Rachel you're rambling a little." Santana says gently not really able to make sense.
"They adopted me, because they wanted a little doll they could turn into something that they wanted. I was proof that they could have a family and be happy, but they were only happy if i was exactly what they wanted me to be. I've wanted to be a broadway star since before i can remembered you know, and when i think about it, really think about it? I don't remember when i made that choice. It was just always what my fathers and i talked about." Rachel shrugged but Santana could see now what she was saying.
"It was their dream, they moulded you into what they wanted instead of letting you be what you want." Santana clarifies and Rachel nods slowly.
"That's about right. I made those connections too you know. And then Glee happened and it was actually fun, no one really liked me but i could pretend i was special and part of something and had friends for an hour every other day. It was ok. I decided i just needed to do what they wanted, that it would work out, i'd be accomplished. Then there was the Finn stuff and it seemed like something they would approve on and he was cute in a slightly understuffed teddy kind of way." Rachel huffed and rolled her eyes.
"He's a special kind of special if you know what i mean." Santana wrinkled her nose which made it look like she was imagining something foul.
"I do. He doesn't even matter now. None of it does really. Finn was nice-ish, and Jesse made me feel good about myself a little bit, but then he was just a decoy, a wolf in sheep's clothing. What ever, i was never in love, i do wish id never met him though." Rachel shrugs again, something she'd done quite a bit of in the last few weeks.
"St. Jackass was a nightmare for sure." Santana says but her tone lacks any kind of real bite.
"You're not wrong. Everything he meant was a nightmare." Rachel looks at the floor in front of her and sighs.
"Shelby... that's what hurts the most. On top of everything. The fact i had exactly zero friends? Dealable. The fact i was regularly tormented and i still don't really know why? I'll live. Realising my fathers don't want Rachel Berry, daughter, but Rachel Berry Broadway star? It really hurts. But Shelby deciding to weasel her way into my life, to get to know me only to realise that i'm exactly what she doesn't want and to pull away? Agony but i'll get over it." Rachel had tears sliding down her face.
"The thing that hurts the most, is realising exactly how unwanted and unloved i really am. I'm sure you think i'm being ridiculous, trying to get attention or something. But i cant stand it, its all just too damn much you know? My dads go away every weekend and leave me home alone. People vandalised the door regularly, most of the time while i was alone. It scared me that's why i got Nyx. I was scared and alone i just wanted a friend you know? And then my dads come back and practically kick me out cause my daddy doesn't like dogs. It was so easy for them." Rachel grabs a tissue and wipes at her streaming tears. Santana wanted to let Rachel get out but she had tears in her own eyes. This was partly her fault for sure.
"No one wants me, Santana. Even glee club. You all hate me for being such a diva. But worst of all has to be Shelby. It might have been ok if she had just left and then left. But no, she shot me down and said she wanted nothing to do with me because she wasn't ready to be a mother, she said i didn't need her. What bull shit. What complete fucking bull shit. I needed her so badly. But i wasn't what she wanted, and then she adopts Beth? It was a slap in the face and i don't know what i've done." Rachel was almost hysterical.
"What you've... What do you mean?" Santana sniffled beside Rachel.
"I don't know what i've done to deserve it all? What did i do? Why did you hate me? Why does everyone at school? Why wasn't i enough for my fathers? For Shelby? How can i fix it if i don't know what it is?" Rachel sobbed and Santana finally moved, a sob escaping her own throat as she wrapped her arms around the young girl beside her. This was not OK.
Santana realised, as she held the sobbing little singer, that she couldn't fix this, there was too much damage. Too many wounds for her to fix alone. But she also realised that she was going to do her best to build this young woman back up, to let her know she could do what ever she chose and still earn the approval of those she wanted it from. Santana wasn't going to let Rachel be alone anymore. It was not acceptable.
The next morning the two girls jolted awake, Rachel was at first not sure what had woken her until the knocking on the door happened again and a muffled feminine voice called through. Looking at where she was she realised she as Santana were still on her sofa, they had both fallen asleep the night before on accident, Rachel having cried herself to sleep and Santana not being willing to move the girl had ended up drifting off as well. Getting up Rachel stumbled to the door and pulled it open to see a decidedly relieved Edith.
"Oh sweetheart, you're late for school, i was worried something had happened." The older woman says with concern.
"Uh. No sorry, Edith, a friend came over and we got talking about some things and ended up falling asleep on the sofa." Rachel mumbles, she felt awful, her head was pounding and her back was sore.
"I'm sorry dear." Edith apologises gently and casts the apologetic look when Santana steps up behind Rachel.
"San this is Edith, shes my neighbour. Edith this is a friend from school, Santana." Rachel introduces.
"Actually i've met Santana once or twice. I'm good friends with her abuela, Alma." Edith smiled in recognition and Santana grins.
"I knew there was a reason i liked that Lasagna so much last night." The latina said charmingly and Edith grinned.
"Go on and get ready for school, you girls will just have to be late. I'll make you girls something to take with you, just stop in before you leave." Edith smiles happily at the two girls.
"Thank you." The two chime together as Edith heads down the steps and next door to her own home.
Rachel closes the door and smiles at Santana, pleased that the latina had stayed with her. All things considered though Santana looked as bad as Rachel felt so the little singer gave her new friends arm a gentle squeeze and moved to the kitchen. She pulled a bottle of tylenol out of the cabinet above the sink and filled two glasses with water. Santana moved over and opened the bottle getting out two tablets for herself and two for Rachel. They downed the pills and chugged the water, feeling somewhat better.
"Come up to my room, you aren't much taller than me so some of my clothes should fit you. I'm showering first though." Rachel smiles and Santana chuckles.
"Yeah ok. Come on then Midget." Santana smirks and Rachel knows that this time there's no malice in the girls name calling, instead its said with affection.
By the time the two girls made it to school the place was fairly quiet as everyone was already in their classes, Santana and Rachel had been fairly quick leaving Rachel's but as they had over slept as it was it was still too late to get to class on time. After saying goodbye to Nyx the two had stopped by at Edith's to fetch the breakfast they had been promised and to say thank you to the woman for waking them and check in on them. They ate their breakfast burritos in content silence as Rachel drove them to school.
"Class is over in twenty, we may as well just skip it." Santana suggests as they stop at the Latina's locker and Rachel nods.
"Yeah may as well." The little singer agrees easily and Santana grins.
"I like the real you. Much less uptight." The Latina smirks and Rachel laughs.
"I like the real you. Much less aggressive." Rachel chuckles as she walks with her new friend.
"Is that just a nice way of saying bitchy?" Santana lightly nudges the little singer.
"Definitely." Rachel smirks and sits down outside of English which she and Santana have together next.
"So, how are you able to rent a place?" Santana asks curiously as she sits down against the wall beside Rachel.
"Hm? Oh. Actually i sold my old car, it was pretty new model so i got a good bit of money back for it. Enough to be able to rent the townhouse for a while anyways. Then i was talking on the phone with my dads i mentioned something about cutting me loose and helping me support myself. I'd wager the 50K they put in my bank account was from my trust fund." Rachel shrugs slightly.
"I'm sort of relieved. I don't have to try to impress anyone anymore." Rachel adds after a moment.
"I can understand that." Santana says softly.
"Yeah?" Rachel's tone was really soft as she looked at the Latina beside her.
"I'm kind of... gay." Santana mumbles looking away from the singer.
"Those of us with an intelligent mind, we already know this. I've considered you 'Brittany-sexual'." Rachel's tone was lightly playful and Santana actually laughs lightly.
"Too bad she's like... madly in love with Artie." Santana shrugs.
"You're not ready for that anyway or you never would have let her get away in the first place. But you know what, that's ok. I believe these things will come full circle." Rachel shrugs and leans her head back against the wall.
"How do you work that out?" Rachel smiles fondly at this inquiry.
"Because, Artie is an intelligent male who is rather fond of the normalcy that Brittany offers him. I'm not saying he isn't in love, but shes going to do or say something and catch him in a bad mood and hes going to say something that Brittany wont be able to stand for. You'll come out when you're read and she will be single and the circle will have come around. You'll be able to show her the love you're just not quite ready to show right now." Rachel smiles warmly and is a little surprised when Santana leans over and kisses her cheek.
"You see a lot when no one is looking at you, huh?" Santana tilts her head slightly and Rachel beams as this was something she had told herself once before.
"I try to at least." Rachel smiles fondly.
The rest of the day and the following week was definitely different but exhilarating, not only Santana but also Brittany and by connection Artie had all started hanging out with Rachel. The group would spend their lunches together chatting about everything and anything that came up. Rachel really enjoyed herself during these times and especially enjoyed that the Slushies had stopped entirely.
"You guys want to come over tonight? Some friends of mine are coming over after i get off work to hang out, they're pretty cool people." Rachel suggests when she, Santana and Brittany were sitting in the choir room before Glee.
"Will i get to see your puppies?" Brittany asks curiously.
"Yeah of course." Rachel smiles happily at the blonde.
"I'm in." Santana shrugs and Brittany claps happily.
"Want to spend the night? You guys can meet me at the Bean at half past eight and ride home with me." Rachel offers with a smile.
"Sounds good to me, what about you Britt?" Santana looks at the girl beside her.
"Yes please." Britt smiles happily.
"Awesome, i'll text Ash and she will let the girls know." Rachel beams happily at her friends.
The rest of the day went kind of well and kind of not. For Rachel it was fine she supposed, school was ok and people had laid off her a lot since befriending Santana. The raging bitch Cheerleader who seemed to instil fear in everyone had seemed to have put her foot down with the Cheerios and word had spread. On top of this there was the Britt situation. Brittany was, Rachel had learned, not nearly as naive and carefree as she had first been lead to believe but no one else bar Santana and Quinn were really even aware of this. It just meant that anyone upsetting Rachel was upsetting Brittany which in turn upset Santana and no one liked upsetting Brittany or Santana.
Yet due to the fact, it seemed, that Santana and Brittany were doing something together that evening that didn't involve Artie that that automatically lead the insecure boy to think Brittany was cheating with Santana, which wasn't wildly outrageous, it had happened in the past. Brittany and Artie had had a fight sometime between the end of school and 7 that evening where Artie had called the dancer stupid which was the number one unforgivable thing a person could do to her. Of course this didn't sit well with Santana either.
The two girls showed up early, Brittany was clearly upset as they found a table and sat down, Rachel waited on them and was filled in over the course of the next hour and a half but ultimately she left the two alone, she knew how Santana felt for Brittany and it was clear that Brittany felt very much the same, she ha just felt for Artie quite strongly as well, he treated her better than most people. But calling her stupid wasn't something the usually forgiving girl would get over soon, Rachel almost felt bad for the boy except he was an idiot.
"God it's so good to have my shoes off." Rachel grumbles walking into her home and kicking her shoes off, it was quarter to nine and the older girls were due at nine.
Brittany kicked her shoes off and went bouncing over to the whelping box Rachel had bought, Santana kicked her own off and followed the blonde introducing the dog to the blonde but of course Nyx thought Brittany was the best thing since Rachel so there were no worries of maternal aggression from the Collie. Rachel for her part headed over to the laundry room which was a small space closed off between the living space and kitchen and pulled off her shirt as she went, she wanted one of the nerdy tee's she own. It was a DEO shirt from Supergirl, one of the shows the little singer had been binge watching.
"These things are so cute!" Brittany gushed and it seemed all she needed to feel better was Nyx and her bundles.
"Yeah they are." Santana chuckles and before Rachel can sit down on the sofa there is a knock on the door.
Opening the door Rachel barely had time to offer a greeting to the three smiling faces looking at her before she was tackled to the floor by Mary-Ann, the woman cackled manically as she began to tickle Rachel causing the little singer to squeal and giggle. Dana and Ash just laughed and stepped past the two and introduced themselves to the two teen girls sitting by Nyx's box. None of Rachel's other friends had seen Nyx's puppies, only Santana had, and so there was much gushing from the three new comers, Mary-Ann included when she was done with tormenting the singer.
"So what do we have? I haven't eaten since lunch." Rachel says seriously looking at the bags of food on the table, she was guessing pizza.
"Pizza!" Ash was the first to pull herself away from the puppies and moved to the coffee table, pulling Rachel down on her knee before opening the bag.
Rachel watched hungrily as Ashlee revealed the food on the table and her stomach growled loudly causing Ashlee, Dana and Santana to laugh as they had been the closest and the ones paying attention. Rachel just blushed faintly rolled her eyes and opened a box pulling out a slice, not caring what it was, and taking a big bite. Ashlee snorted amused and shoved the girl onto the couch between herself and Santana and went about opening the boxes so everyone could see the entire spread. The night then dissolved into talk of how the girls had been doing all week, Brittany and Santana both got along well with the older girls which was a relieve to Rachel. This having friends thing was great.
It was a Wednesday afternoon a couple weeks later on a Wednesday when things took a dramatic shift. Rachel was standing by her locked when three cheerios walked up to her looking pale. Santana looked torn between murdering someone and being devastated, Brittany looked like she had seen a ghost and Quinn looked to be a state of shock.
"Hey guys... what's going on?" Rachel asked curiously. Santana was too deep in her muttered angry Spanish rant and Brittany just mumbles something about being too young.
"Coach wants to shoot, Brittany out of a Cannon." Quinn explains after a moment. Quinn and Rachel weren't enemies like they had once been but they weren't exactly friends either.
"She cant do that." Rachel spoke matter of factually.
"What?" Santana stopped and looked at the girl.
"She can't. It's against the Cheer-leading Associations Rules and Regulations." Rachel informed looking at the three impressed and hopeful faces.
"How do you even know this stuff?" Quinn asks slightly awed.
"Oh Quinn... I'm Rachel Barbra Berry." Rachel informs with a playful smirk because that should have said it all. A moment later Rachel had her arms full of a relieved Brittany.
"There is a but, though." Rachel says after a moment of hugging the girl. Brittany straightens without letting Rachel go which lifts her off floor.
"What but?" Santana was asking all the big questions it seemed.
"The but is that this is Sue Sylvester we are talking about. So here is the game plan, you guys need to keep Brittany away from Sue and i'm going to talk to Figgins." Rachel had wrapped her legs around Brittany's waist when it seemed the blonde wasn't letting her go.
"I'm not sure i understand." Quinn frowns slightly.
"Well knowing Sue she will find a way around the association. The last line of defence is going to be Figgins. He wont legally be allowed to let Sue go ahead without some signed consent form removing the school as liable for injuries sustained. That means don't sign anything for anyone Britt." Rachel explains and it seems to dawn on Quinn and Santana that the little singer was absolutely right.
"Right. Put Rachel down, Britt." Santana finally says addressing the blonde.
"No." Brittany mumbles against Rachels neck and the singer smiles and kisses the dancers head.
"You gotta go with Santi and Quinn so they can keep you safe." Rachel informs as hands gently settle on her waist and tug gently. Brittany grumbles but reluctantly lets go and Rachel smiles at her as Santana helps settle her back on her own two feet.
"This is going to be ok. I'll go speak with Figgins now, i have a free before lunch anyway." Rachel explains the the cheerleaders smile and nod.
They groups couldnt have know that things were going to spiral even further out of control in the next week. Animosity between Beiste, Schue and Sue had devolved into something borderline primal and honestly terrifying. Sweet Brittany had been artfully talked into signing the stupid consent form when took things out of Figgins hands and the man literally refused to even try to be involved.
Schue and Beiste had come up with some horrible idea to combine the football team and the glee club together into a weird and reluctant Glee group for a week and explained that they would be having to do stuff together, a song the lot of them would have to work together on which sat well with no one really. Yet some how things seemed to be going really well and they all seemed to be going well together, that was until they weren't. The Hockey jocks swooped in like vultures and swooped top spot from the football jocks.
The moment the football team got slushied and called Gleeks was the same moment they pulled out, even when they were told they wouldn't be playing in the championship games if they wouldn't do the glee thing. The football team was reduced to Finn, Puck, Artie and Sam so the girls had agreed to step in just to make up the numbers. Sue had pulled the cheerleaders by forcing the Cheer-leading Regionals to be the same day as the football Championship game. No Cheerleaders and no Football team and too many ultimatums.
"I'm sorry but if you guys chose Cheering over Glee then you're going to have to leave Glee." Schue was brutal in this and it irked Rachel.
"Schue, you can't do that." Santana scowled.
"I can and am. Glee or Sue." Mr Schue frowns and Rachel clears her throat.
"He can do it, Santana. But its so underhanded and unfair that i'm honestly surprised he would." The little singer speaks up.
"Unfair? Sue wants to shoot Brittany out of a cannon, this shouldn't even be a choice for them." Kurt huffs a little.
"But it is. Quinn, Santana and Brittany are amazing at cheer-leading. Do you know that Santana is thinking of going for a cheer-leading scholarship in Louisville? Yeah, because she enjoys cheer-leading and a scholarship means she will get to study for something. How is she supposed to chose glee and give up that goal? So sure, why not? Lets all expect them to chose glee and give up the thing they are good at and enjoy just because two grown ass adults can't get over themselves and act like they are supposed to and actually care about their subordinates futures." Rachel rants and it was enough to make the others, and Schue, to look shamefaced.
"Thanks Rach." Santana smiled softly beside the little singer and tangled their fingers.
"Don't thank me for having common sense, Santi." Rachel smiled and squeezed the Latinas fingers as Brittany kissed her cheek as she stepped past to move over to Quinn. Quinn smiled her thanks and a moment later the Unholy Trinity walked about of the choir room.
"It's going to be hard to replace three people." Finn mumbled after a long silence.
"So wait... You played football and you guys quit the cheerios?" Mary-Ann asks that Saturday night as the teenagers were sitting with the older girls at Rachels place for their weekly get together.
"Yeah. Pretty much. Rachel looked cute in the football gear." Santana grins.
"I looked hot, thank you." Rachel huffs indignantly. The little singer was perched on Brittany's lap and eating a piece of sushi before offering one to Brittany.
"I mean you were a little sweaty." Brittany speaks around a bite and the others laugh at the look on Rachels face.
"That's really awesome though. Especially you, San, you've mentioned Louisville so we get that its a bigger choice for you." Ashlee smiles and Santana just shrugs and nods.
"Britt enjoys Glee more, no one tries to kill her there." Santana explains as if that explained everything.
"Truth." Rachel mumbles around food offering Brittany another piece of food.
The evening dissolved into friendly and companionable chatter about this or that and when the older trio left Santana and Brittany headed upstairs and crashed in Rachel's bed while the singer crashed out on her sofa. It wasn't an arrangement that Rachel really minded either as she enjoyed the couch well enough and she enjoyed seeing her friends together, the two weren't in any kind of relationship together, Santana was still dubious, but they were close again. Brittany enjoyed snuggling with anyone so it was either or for her though she did especially enjoy sleeping and snuggling with Santana.
The next day all three girls went shopping for Rachel and then even helped the girl out with her, rather meagre, house work before the trio decided on sticks for dinner together that evening. Rachel had grown really fond of both girls really quickly and she thoroughly enjoyed how tactile the two were. Brittany more so than Santana but even then it was a given that either or both of the girls would be touching her person in some way. It was never sexual and occasionally intimate but Rachel never assumed it was more than friendly. In fact it never even crossed her mind until later on in the week and she was having a phone conversation with Ashlee and Mary-Ann.
"So... what's up with you and the cheerleaders?" Ashlee asks curiously and it was clear due to Mary-Ann lack of scoff that the tattoo artists counterpart was just as curious.
"We are friends?" Rachel asks confused.
"There is no way you three are just friends." Mary-Ann says seriously and Rachel did scoff.
"There is because we are. They are just really touchy feely, which isn't exactly something i mind. But Santana and Britt are into each other not me." Rachel chuckles and shrugs even though her friends couldn't see that.
"But would you be into it?" Ashlee asks seriously and Rachel gives a rueful chuckle.
"I love attention. The only thing better than having one girlfriend would be having two." Rachel offers seriously.
"Then why don't you go for it? There is no way you don't have feelings for those two, i've seen the way you look at them." Mary-Ann says bluntly.
"Just because i'm ok with Polygamy doesn't mean Santi and Britt are." Rachel reminds her friends mildly.
"You should try anyway." Ash agree's with her girlfriend.
"I like having them as my friends, i don't plan on ruining that." Rachel's voice dropped and the insecurity was obvious.
"There is no way you would lose those two as your friends." Mary-Ann says gently, reassuring the younger girl.
"I'd hope not but i don't know if i want to risk it either." Rachel admits gently.
"Well alright. If you ever want to talk about it though, we got you." Ash relents with a smile on her voice.
The weeks that followed were comfortable an fun, Quinn started dating Finn again and campaigning hard for Prom King and Queen much to the amusement of Rachel, Santana and Brittany. Rachel was getting along with Quinn much better these days, it seemed the blonde realised that since her best friends were now Rachel's best friends than the two should try to get along. Rachel had impressed Quinn but even still the little singer didn't tell anyone else what was going on with her, the only ones who knew were Santana and Brittany.
Regionals came and went with another New Directions win which Rachel was pleased with but found she no longer cared quite as much as she used too. Prom was still on its way but again she felt no real excitement, it was exactly like she had anyone to go with and would likely have to work that night anyway. Santana and Brittany had been fighting on an off as Britt wanted more from Santana but Santana still refused to come out of the closet which Rachel couldn't exactly blame the girl and neither really could Brittany.
Kurt finally transferred back, Karofsky had sent him some big long email about being sorry for what he did and had even promised to transfer himself at the end of the year, hoping for a better high school experience than what McKinley had to offer. Being welcomed back into Glee with open arms the boy was a little surprised that Rachel didn't assault him and reaffirm that Solo's were hers and no one elses. Mercedes offhandedly explained that something had broken the diva and she barely even spoke up anymore. Santana had been ready to give them an earful until both Brittany and Rachel laid hands on the girls knees.
Yet it was a few days before Prom and with a sense of foreboding that Jesse St James returned on the scene. The foolish young man had spun some stories and offered apologies to Rachel before boldly asking the girl to Prom. Rachel shot him down immediately, feeling absolutely no desire to deal with Jesse or the fall out from the Glee Club. Plus the fact that Santana and Brittany both had been rather irate about the entire situation. Even more of a problem than Jesse St James was the memories that he dredged up.
Yet the days continued to come and go and just as she knew she would have to Rachel had to work on the 13th, Prom night. It was peacefully slow at the Bean because of it and it gave Rachel more time to think over things. Santana and Brittany had gone to Prom, not together, but they had gone and had both sent photos of themselves to Rachel. Photos that Rachel was looking at when a co-worker, Gretchen Peters, had leaned over her shoulder to see the two girls starring in the photos. Gretchen was a serious homophobe.
"I didn't know you were friends with those two." Gretchen frowned slightly.
"Sure am." Rachel said chipperly before putting her phone away.
"You know they're like... faggots right?" The ginger haired and likely soulless girl spoke almost scowling now.
"They're not and even if they are lesbians whats that to me or you?" Rachel shrugs sure that the girl would get the point and just leave off.
"Because, they're freaks that stare at all us normal girls and want to fuck us. It's gross." Gretchen was so naive it almost made Rachel laugh. Almost.
"You want to know a secret? No one looks at you and thinks 'man i want to fuck her' except maybe teenage boys that would stick it in anyone with two legs and a willing opening. You know how i know that? Because i'm just as gay as either of those two girls and i really don't look at you and think sex." Rachel informs in the most politely and entirely condescending voice she could manage. Gretchen made a disgusted and affronted sound and walked away.
It was ten days after Prom and all the girls had gotten together at Rachel's place with a smallish amount of alcohol, Dana had picked up a cake and Ash had bought her tattoo gear. It was Brittany's birthday and Ash's gift was a tattoo of Brittany's choosing, a duck sleeping next to a little tabby kitten. They all enjoy cake and conversation while Brittany gets her tattoo done and when it was finished the group settle down and had some drinks as they talked about how everything was going. The later it got the more the night devolved and finally it was Dana who suggested they play spin the bottle which greatly amused everyone.
So they played a round of spin the bottle, Dana starting. Dana had to kiss Brittany, Brittany ended up kissing Santana, Santana had to kiss Mary-Ann while Mary-Ann spun Dana. Dana ended up spinning Ashlee and Ashlee spun Rachel calling an end to the round. Rachel had been serious to begin with but by the time she had to kiss Ashlee she was in a fit of giggles. The Tattoo artist had pecked the little singers lips and when Santana and Mary-Ann complained that it didn't count the tattoo artist then licked Rachel across the face causing Rachel to laugh and shove the girl away.
"I say we play again." Mary-Ann commented seriously after the group had calmed a little.
"You start then." Rachel handed Mary-Ann the bottle and the girl grinned and spun. She pouted slightly when she got Dana again.
Dana laughed and pun Ashlee and Ashlee spun Brittany. It was at this point that things got slightly less fun for Rachel an slightly more tormenting. Brittany spun Rachel which was fine but the kiss was far from playful as the others had been and was uncomfortably sweet. Rachel would have thoroughly enjoyed it if it didn't confuse her so much. She was already having issues with the feelings she had for not only Santana but Brittany as well. Not that kissing Brittany wasn't incredible for Rachel and really nice, it was easily the sweetest and most tender kiss she had ever experienced.
"Your spin." Brittany smiled softly at the little singer who had to blink a few times to clear her head.
Rachel blushed but nodded and took the bottle and gave it a hefty spin. She watched with rapt attention as the bottle began to slow down gradually until it was stopped completely. The little singer let out an inaudible groan at her luck, the bottle had landed on Santana. Of course the diva missed the victorious little grin that flitted across the Latina's face before the ex-cheerio moved over to Rachel and gently, maybe too gently for the situation, cupped her face. As if she had seen it happening in slow motion Santana had leaned in and captured Rachel's bottom lip just as the singer was about to bite it herself.
Rachel groaned softly and practically melted into the kiss and Santana kissed her more soundly on the lips. Brittany was biting her lip as she watched the two and the other three girls, even drunk off their asses as they were, couldn't help but notice the sparks the same as they had when Brittany and Rachel had kissed. There was some serious chemistry and Rachel was beginning to think there was no way anyone could deny it, she certainly didn't want to. Yet she couldn't really think anymore when Santana's tongue lightly slid across her lower lip, the only thing the diva could do was open her mouth and allow the latina access.
Rachel woke up late the following morning, Sunday morning, with a throbbing head ache and when she went to move her hand to rub her eyes she found she couldn't. On further inspection she realised she was underneath not one but two bodies, well under one and partially under the other. Rachel was flat on her back with Brittany laying entirely on top of her, the blondes head was tucked into the singers neck on the left side and her arms were wound around the singer. Santana was partially on Rachel in so much as she was plastered to the singers side with her arms around both Rachel and Brittany, the latina's forehead was pressed snugly against Rachel's temple.
"Wake up bitches! I've got a bottle of aspirin with your names on it." Ashlee chirped loudly as she barged into Rachels bedroom. The other three had crashed downstairs it seemed.
Rachel's disgruntled groan was echoed, rather loudly in her ears, by the two disgruntled snugglers that were against her. Ashlee just laughed deviously and loudly sat down a bottle of pain relievers and three bottles of water. With sharp jabs to three sets of ribs the amused young woman turned and headed out again only to make it a point to slam the door on her way, eliciting more annoyed groans. Rachel couldn't move until Brittany did and the dancer just seemed to snuggle in more. Santana on the other hand rolled onto her and groaned again before sitting up.
"Oh god..." The latina grumbles leaning over Brittany and Rachel and getting the pain relievers and a bottle of water, taking three aspirin and chugging the bottle of water before laying back down.
Rachel turned her head when she felt Santana lay back down and blinked her eyes open a little. The night before hadnt gone on much longer after spin the bottle, the girls each having one last drink each which meant the last of the alcohol, and then deciding sleep was amazing. Rachel had been dragged upstairs by Brittany who insisted on snuggles with her best friends because it was her birthday still and that made her the boss. No one wanted to point out that it was 2 in the morning the day after Britts birthday.
"Hey." Rachel spoke softly as she looked at the gorgeous girl beside her.
"Hey." Santana whispered back with a small smile on her face.
"So..." Rachel should have just acted like last night hadn't happened, but she couldn't.
"So... uh." Santana blushed and prettily and looked at the bed between them.
"We can pretend like none of it meant a thing." Rachel whispers softly, she didn't want to make things awkward.
"We can... I'm... really confused and kind of mad at myself." Santana admits softly.
"Mad at yourself?" Rachel asks wanting to understand.
"For the same reason Britt and i are just friends. I... i want more. But i can't... i can't come out yet." Santana mumbles and Rachel understood, they had talked about this before.
"That's alright though. No one is going to force you out." Rachel explains gently.
"I know, it just sucks. I didn't realise until recently that i was such a damn coward." Santana huffs frustrated.
"You're not a coward, San." Brittany mumbles turning her head so it was resting on Rachel's chest as she looked at the latina.
"She's right. If you was a coward you wouldn't have admitted it to us, or Ash, Mare and Dana." Rachel points out gently, idly moving her hand to rub the dancers back. Santana flushed a little but stayed silent.
"Is it greedy to want both of you in the sexy lady kisses way?" Brittany asked curiously and the wording made Rachel chuckle until she noticed Santana was looking just as curious as the dancer.
"No. I believe sharing is caring. I rather feel the same for you both, i have for a little while now. It's called polygamy or polyamory." Rachel explains softly.
"It doesn't matter though... i refuse to enter a relationship with either of you right now. It wouldn't be fair." Santana sighs after a moment.
"Well... we will wait. Nothing has to change." Brittany gave a small shrug and yawned before sliding off the bed and Rachel and getting some water.
"She's right. Like a lot it seems." Rachel smirks and Santana laughs lightly, the mood effectively lightened.
"I'm not going anywhere and if i have to have you both as only my friends for a while? Well that's definitely better than nothing." Rachel adds leaning over and pecking Santana's cheek before sitting up and getting some for the aspirin and the last bottle of water.
Rachel and Brittany headed downstairs leaving a decidedly humbled Santana on the bed to compose herself.
Time went on for the girls from there, a few days after Brittany's birthday the trio accompanied the glee club to Nationals only to lose horribly thanks to Finn who had failed to take a hint. Not only had Finn been dating Quinn but apparently he had also been gunning to get back together with Rachel which was not something the singer wanted and had actually told him more than once. Yet it all came to a head during the duo at Nationals and Finn foolishly decided he just had to kiss Finn right there on the stage.
Quinn had looked gutted, Brittany and Santana looked like they were out for blood and the rest of the Glee club looked like they wanted Finn to take a long walk off a cliff. Yet none of that even came close to how Rachel felt, she was embarrassed, which wasn't something that usually happened to her on stage. Mortified and feeling horrible for her friend and just as bad for their team the little singer didn't even think before lifting her hand and slapping Finn lip-splitting-hard across the face before turning and walking off stage.
Needless to say Finn got a hell of a lot of shit from the entire team, plus two angry ex-cheerios and one glee coach. They lost, not even placing for the next round and went back to Ohio where they could mope in relative peace. It wasn't quite that seamless for Rachel, the followings few days got her slushied more times than she cared to think about. Yet Santana and Brittany always helped clean her off and the three remained very close friends, there was no more making out, but they would cuddle and when the two stayed over at Rachel's they no longer let the singer sleep on the couch.
When school holidays started Santana and Brittany both ended up going away with their families for most of the break, Rachel happily picked up extra shifts from the Bean. As the weeks past Rachel had the puppies DNA tested and was pleased to learn that they were indeed purebred Scotch Collies. Three of them she sold very easily, one of which went to Edith who said she couldn't possibly allow one of the little bundles to slip away completely. Surprisingly there had only been one male in the litter and Rachel was left with the two tri-color girl pups, not that she minded.
When Rachel wasn't working she would hang out with Mary-Ann, Ashlee and Dana until finally the first week of September came around and Brittany and then Santana returned from holidays with their respective families. The group finally got to have their get togethers again and Rachel's work schedule adjusted to allow for school starting back on the 6th. Both Santana and Brittany were extra clingy when they got back but Rachel didn't mind one little bit because just as they had missed her and each other she had missed them both as well.
When school finally started up things were rather chill for Rachel as she carried on much the same as the last few months of last year, Brittany and Santana how ever had tried out for and got put back on the Cheerios. Quinn had changed the most it seemed, she had died her hair pink, pierced her nose and taken up smoking. Rachel wouldn't talk her out of it no matter how much the others worried. Quinn had to find herself and no one should try to stop that, instead Rachel made it a point to offer Quinn an ear, to let the girl know that if she needed to go somewhere Rachel would welcome her.
"Hey Rach, how's it going?" Finn loomed up seemingly out of nowhere while Rachel was getting some books out of her locker. It wasnt lost on her that it had been almost a week since school started and this was the first time he had sought her out.
"Its going, and with you?" Rachel asked politely as she silently prayed for divine intervention.
"So class president campaign is starting up soon. You should run." Finn suggests off handedly and Rachel shrugs.
"No thanks, San and i are trying to convince Britt to run. Shes got this whole awesome theory but she thinks she needs Kurt to pull it off." Rachel explains with a shake of her head.
"Seriously? Brittany? Isn't she a bit too..." Finn trails off making a face and shrugging, it was obvious what he didn't say.
"Too what? If you cant say it don't think it Finn, and no she isn't." Rachel scowls and turns to head to her next class.
"Ok fine. Whatever. I was hoping we could hang out today? Maybe have lunch together." Finn suggests falling into step beside her.
"No thanks, i promised Britt i'd sit with her." Rachel sighs because she had had a feeling this would happen. Finn had tried texting her but she had ignored him.
"So, just tell her you're having a meeting with Allah or who ever you believe in. She's stupid enough to believe it." Finn was getting frustrated now and it was abundantly clear to Rachel yet also infuriating.
"God or Yahweh is just fine thanks and i swear to any deity listening Finn that if you call my friend stupid in front of me one more time than i will slap you into the floor." Rachel had stopped and squared her shoulders before delivering the threat.
"What's the deal? They tormented you for years and now you're best friends? It doesn't make any sense." Finn disregards the threat entirely, it must had been easy to underestimate your foes when you was six some-odd feet tall.
"If that doesn't make sense then we definitely don't." Rachel huffs and starts walking again.
"How did you work that out. Rach we make perfect sense." Finn frowns as he was genuinely confused.
"Ok, since i'm already late for class let me lay this out for you. I wanted you, i got you. You dumped me because you were still in love with Quinn and you wanted to go out with not one but two other girls. We got back together only for me to find out you slept with Santana and blatantly lied about it." Rachel was interrupted by Finn at this point.
"I didn't tell you because it didn't mean anything." Finn denies immediately.
"Its completely beside the point now Finn but you might maybe try thinking about other peoples feelings for a change. How do you think Santana felt? You used her and you made her feel completely worthless in the process." Rachel had stopped walking as she explained this to Finn and had practically growled the words at him.
"Santana doesn't have feelings, besides she's a slut. She's been with everyone." Finn points out carelessly.
The boy really didn't see it coming, not a slap this time either, Rachel Berry closed-fist punched Finn Hudson so hard in the face that it actually dropped him like a bag of bricks. It was momentarily beautiful to Rachel, what she had done, except it was ruined by her name being gasped somewhere up the now deserted hall, the voice devastatingly familiar. Shelby Corcoran of all people had witnessed Rachel's act of violence.
"You've got to be kidding me." Rachel heaved a sigh and scowled at the bleeding boy on the floor.
"Call Santana a slut one more time while i'm in ear shot, or at all even, and i'll break something more precious than your nose." Rachel promises Finn as Shelby trots over looking concerned.
"Rachel? What in the world possessed you to punch Finn?" Shelby knelt down to help Finn up.
"What in the world possessed you to come back here?" Rachel counters before turning and walking away. She just couldn't deal right now.
Rachel had left school early, skipping entirely and only taking the time to send Brittany and Santana texts to let them know she wouldn't be there. Brittany was extra sad until Rachel explained she had punched Finn for bad mouthing Santi and then she became extra happy that Rachel stood up for the latina. Rachel smiled, she really did adore Brittany and Santana more than she thought she could possibly adore anyone. She wasn't sure she was quite ready to admit she was in love with them, but she was close.
That day she went to a gym she had walked passed a few times, she had a change of clothes from the summer in her car, shorts and a sports bra from her few runs at the park, of course she kind of defeated the purpose and drove to the park first. It was easier with the puppies to drive there and back. Once at the Gym the singer signed up for a membership, they offered a key an alarm code which allowed for twenty-four hour gym which Rachel really liked since it was so cheap to begin with. It was a decidedly good way to stay in business it seemed.
She had no idea what was going on at McKinley while she was working out how ever, and wouldn't know for a while yet either.
"I'm sorry but you're going to have to tell us what the hell you're doing here?" Santana and Brittany had stormed into Shelby's meagre office during their free period before lunch.
"Uh, you can't be in my office." Shelby retorts looking at the two cheerleaders.
"The hell we can't, why are you back?" Santana doesn't back down, not even a little.
"You're going to hurt her." Brittany pouts and Shelby is just confused.
"What is this about?" The choir director inquires frowning, she had an idea after Brittany's comment.
"This is about what you being here is doing to Rachel." Santana huffs like it should have been obvious. And it should have.
"Its not doing anything. Rachel and i came to terms with things over a year ago. She doesnt need me." Shelby folded her arms over her chest defensively.
"That's a cop out and you know it." Santana bites back.
"You didn't want Rachel. You should have stayed away." Brittany was still pouting but she sounded more upset than anything else.
"I... i'm confused." Shelby admits after a moment because really she was, she had thought Rachel and she had spoken about this and things were fine.
"Of course you are, because you're completely clueless. You just shouldn't have come back. Rachel doesn't need what your being here means." Santana scowls.
"My being here doesn't mean anything for Rachel. She said herself she doesn't need me." Shelby was getting aggravated.
"Of course she did! And you believe it too because somehow she got your talent and can act better than most." Santana folded her arms and shifted her stance still on edge.
"Rachel has her dads, she doesn't need me." Shelby was firm on this.
"Rachel's alone. Her dads didn't want her just like you." Brittany actually had wet eyes at this and Santana turned and gently admonished her before hugging the tearful blond.
"What? What do you mean she's alone?" Shelby was suddenly deeply concerned and it wasn't an act.
"We didn't mean to say that. No one knows. You being here just reaffirms daily that she isn't wanted." Santana shakes her head as she rubs Brittany's back.
"Santana... please. Tell me." Shelby urges but the cheerleader just shakes her head and leaves with Brittany. Shelby was too floored to follow.
Rachel still didn't know what had happened that day weeks away but she had managed the impossible and avoided Shelby at all costs, as had Santana and Brittany. The blonde dancer had finally, after things fell through with Kurt, decided to run for class president against Kurt and Rick The Stick. Santana was doing amazingly with cheer-leading and was made co-captain along with Becky Jackson.
Against prompting from a few people in Glee, Rachel kept her nose out of it and so Mercedes took the role of Maria in the West Side Story play the school was doing, Blaine managed to take the role of Tony and Artie was doing a great job of directing and making it happen. Rachel wanted no part of it really, her entire desire for acting and the stage had seemed to have been left in the Berry home with the men who had raised her. She was a little surprised that she wasn't upset about it at all, she was searching for a new focus.
Shelby had been hired by Figgins to start an all girls show choir group which was headed by Sugar Motta and was dubbed the Trouble Tones, Rachel secretly liked the name and the concept but she couldn't get past Shelby being here at all. Finn had continued to try and win Rachel over a few more times but every time he tried either Brittany or Santana would show up and have words with him. The little singer fully enjoyed this little thing and it was a little more difficult every time they hung out in private not to act on her feelings.
Sue Sylvester had been slightly easier on the Cheerios since she had entered the congressional race which had improved the moods of all of the Cheerios yet slightly soured the moods of everyone else, especially the glee club as that seemed to be the focus of Sue's campaign. Brittany herself was leading the polls in the school presidential race but she was closely tailed by Rick and Kurt, not that Santana or Rachel had any concerns really, their campaign promises were absurd but complete gold at the same time.
"Rachel!" The singer had been sitting in the choir room, it was quiet and Brad had been in there messing around on the piano so it was peace and good music, right until Shelby found her that was.
"Rachel, can we talk?" Shelby asks gently as she moves closer to the little singer who looked pained and resigned at the same time.
"I'm not sure i have a choice." Rachel sighs softly, Brad was still playing in the back ground.
"Rachel your friends, a few weeks ago... they said something about your dads. Or rather that you were alone." Shelby starts gently and Rachel frowns unsure when Britt and San had spoken with the woman.
"I... yes that sounds right." Rachel doesn't, can't, look at the woman beside her.
"Rachel... what happened?" Shelby's voice was low, barely audible over the soft piano.
"Nothing happened. I don't know. I realised they didn't really want... me. They wanted a broadway star. You didn't want me, i had no friends. I was home alone on weekends a lot. So i got a dog, except Leroy didn't like the dog, they told me to get rid of the only friend i had. So i did, just... i went with her. They didn't... didn't really want me back. Paid me off. I've been living alone." Rachel mumbled and shrugged more than once, it hurt more to tell this to a woman who could have made a difference.
"Rachel..." Shelby trailed off not knowing what to say but it made more sense why Brittany had been so upset and Santana so aggravated that she had been there. Shelby could have been there. Should have been.
The singer in questions shook her head and stood up moving over to Brad and whispering something to him, the man raised a hand and it was like magic and suddenly the band was there backing him. Shelby was a little confused but understood Rachel was about to sing so she sat there patiently, thinking, and waited. Rachel started softly, as though she was having a conversation not singing a song.
I woke up it was 7
I waited 'til 11
To figure out that no one would call
I think I got a lot of friends
But I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone
When you're spending every day on your own
And here it goes
Shelby's heart sank the moment the little singer started the song, the message was so blatantly clear the moment that first line was done, the first verse hitting it home. Rachel Berry had been left not only by her adoptive fathers but by her adoptive mother as well. What made it worse for Shelby was the fact she was only now realising what she had done. Rachel hadn't sought her out, she had looked for Rachel, had forced her way into the teenagers life only to later realise that Rachel wasn't what she wanted. She had hurt the girl deeply and had selfishly convinced herself that Rachel was honest when she said she didn't need her.
I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone
And the world is
Having more fun then me
Tonight
And maybe when the night is dead
I'll crawl into my bed
I'm staring at these four walls again
I'll try to think about the last time
I had a good time
Everyone's got somewhere to go
And they're gonna leave me here on my own
And here it goes
The truth that was so clear in this song, was only amplified by the tears streaming down Rachel's face. Shelby was a little impressed with Rachel being able to push aside her emotions while she performed and yet she was deeply saddened at the same time. Shelby Corcoran had no idea she had so royally screwed up here and though she tried to convince herself she had no regrets she couldn't deny Rachel was the biggest regret she would ever have. It was at this point that Brittany moved into the room, barely inside the door but the dancer watched with a sadness etched in her beautiful features, sadness for Rachel.
I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares
'Cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me
What the hell is wrong with me
Don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored and
I can't fall asleep
And every night is the worst night ever
It was this verse that really broke Rachel and Brittany had strode over and wrapped her arms around the little singer from behind, Rachel leaned back into the embrace immediately, not even questioning who the person was. Brittany looked down at the singer and then the woman who had tears of her own rolling down her face before the dancer took up the song for Rachel. Rachel was wiping at her face trying to calm herself while leaning into Brittany but there was no hope of composing herself and finishing this song. She didn't need to though.
I'm just a kid
I'm just a kid
I'm just a kid (I'm just a kid)
Yeah, I'm just a kid (I'm just a kid)
I'm just a kid (I'm just a kid)
I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that its not fair
Nobody cares
'Cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
I'm just a kid
And all life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that its not fair
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone
And the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight
I'm all alone
Tonight
Nobody cares
Tonight
'Cause I'm just a kid tonight
"I said i didnt need you because i couldnt handle hearing you say you didnt want me." Rachel's voice was so strained she barely got the words out at all and once said she turned and buried her face in Brittany's chest and sobbed harder than she hand since breaking down on Santana months go.
"She works after school at the Lima Bean. She worked all summer break. She rents her own place, she has three dogs and a car and she has friends. She has Santi and i. She doesn't need you." Brittany explains to Shelby who felt like she'd thrust a dagger into her heart before she continued.
"But Rachel never once said she didnt want you."
Rachel hadn't been back to school in the last four days, Brittany had escorted the tearful singer out of the school and even driven her home the day she had sung to Shelby but she hadn't dare show her face since. Santana and Brittany would stop by the Bean to see her every day and had gone over Wednesday night but now its Thursday night and Rachel was just pulling into her home parking lot when her phone buzzed. She assumed it was Santana or Brittany because they had a really late Cheerio practice that day thanks to Sue and her Congressional Campaign.
So sorry! She over heard me and B talking to Q.
Rachel frowned at the message from Santana but it didn't really make a whole lot of sense to her, she unlocked her door and went in, setting her keys down and her phone. She was way too hungry to respond right away and instead went straight to her kitchen, only after petting Nyx, Morpheus and Pagan. It was while she was putting some frozen spaghetti in the microwave and turning on the kettle in preparation to make a hot drink that Rachel's doorbell rang, it was curious to say the least because none of her friends ever ring her bell.
"Who is it?" Rachel called out cautiously because she wasnt silly enough to think she could fight off people trying to rob her.
"Rachel? It's Shelby. Please let me in." The voice implored and Rachels stomach flipped unpleastantly.
"It's late and i've been avoiding you." Rachel called back without opening the door though she moved closer.
"I kind of worked that out, that's why i'm here. Please? Getting your address took some serious espionage on my part." Shelby fidgeted slightly.
"So what? You think you deserve some reward?" Rachel reached for the door but waited for the woman's response.
"Well obviously, yes." Shelby was visibly pleased as Rachel opened the door to let the woman in.
"I hate to break it to you but i don't think eaves dropping on three teenage girls quite counts as 'serious espionage'." Rachel informs closing the door behind Shelby.
"Why are you here?" Rachel moved back into the kitchen expecting an explanation but instead got a shrill squeal of excitement in response.
Turning Rachel watched a clearly excited Shelby drop to her knees and welcome three very excited and happy canines. The singer couldn't help but smile at the sight, the only other person who had been that excited over them had been Brittany. Rachel let the woman have her moment as she turned her attention back to her food and got down two cups to make herself and Shelby a coffee. The woman was still gushing over the dogs when Rachel bought the drinks in and returned to the kitchen, the only thing that distracted them was Rachel opening a can of dog food and pouring it into their bowl. The dogs abandoned the freely given affections for their dinner while Rachel moved over and sat on the couch.
"So... you've been avoiding me." Shelby comments softly setting down beside Rachel and taking up one of the two cups, they were both made the same.
"Very astute of you." Rachel winds some spaghetti on her fork.
"Rachel i... I really need to apologise to you. I really was stupid enough to convince myself that you weren't interested in a relationship with me. I convinced myself because it made it easier to tell you i couldn't do it an that was so so wrong of me. I'm even more sorry because i never once really checked in with your fathers and now i think maybe i should have." Shelby explains shamefully, Rachel chews slowly.
"Why? So you could see what they were doing and offer me something you weren't really willing to give? All so you could grow to resent me for being there? You didn't really do anything wrong, not truly. I don't hate you, i don't resent you. You just... you make me sad Shelby." Rachel explains slowly as she winded spaghetti even slower on her fork.
"Well... i mean maybe. I should have stayed away." Shelby sighs.
"Yes probably yet i cant blame you either. You had this little baby, made a life. I cant understand why you'd be curious how i turned out. I'm just sorry you didn't get to meet me." Rachel says a little bitterly.
"I'm not sure what you mean?" Shelby was a little confused by the statement the girl made.
"Of course you don't. Here's what i realised and how. Firstly, my name is Rachel Barbra Berry that should have been a clue but i was blinded. The second was the first time i won a competition i was 3 months old. Absolutely absurd. Its been drummed into me since i was born, before i was born if the stories were true, that i was destined to be a broadway star. But i wasn't destined, i was moulded by two men who wanted to live vicariously through me. I didn't have a chance to be Rachel because i was too busy being made to be someone i'm not." Rachel explained still bitter but stabbed a mushroom in her bowl and munched almost angrily.
"Well... tell me. Who are you, Rachel?" Shelby asks after a moment.
"Who i am? I'm Rachel, sometimes Rae to my friends. I'm in love with Brittany and Santana and i have three amazing older friends who i hang out with at least once a week. I don't care about Broadway, i'm actually thinking about being a veterinarian one day instead. I like to sing but i don't love it as much as i convinced myself i did. I'm just... I'm Rachel. I'm making my own path in life and as much as i wish i didn't have to go to bed in a lonely home, as much as i love those nights when the girls stay over or San and Britt are here, i hate the days they aren't. I hate being so alone." Rachel sighs softly.
"Rachel that's... wait. You're in love with Santana and Brittany? How does that work?" Shelby latched onto this first because it seemed to be the most confusing part of everything Rachel just said.
"I am and at the moment it doesn't work at all. Santana isn't ready to come out and doesn't think its fair to keep Britt and i a secret so we've agreed to be just friends for now. We're affectionate with each other and when they stay over we cuddle in bed a lot but for now its not more than that." Rachel had a faint blush to her face, she wasn't ashamed of what she felt for them but she knew that some people couldn't get it.
"Oh so they feel the same too?" Shelby asks and Rachel nods.
"Well that's actually really mature of you guys, especially Santana." Rachel almost hated that she was pleased with Shelby's apparent approval.
"I thought so too. We all want more but we get it and we are best friends so its not so bad." Rachel shrugged a little.
"I wondered about polygamy when i was younger. I fear i'm a little too possessive." Shelby offers with a slightly wrinkled nose.
"You know i thought maybe along the same lines too. It was Santana first you know, but i've come to realise that i am intensely possessive. I'm just possessive of both of them. Santana is even worse." Rachel grins with the last admission and Shelby chuckles.
"I would believe that." Shelby says amused.
"How ever to move onto a different subject, a vet? That's really amazing, a very noble profession. I happen to love dogs, and i think turtles are super cute." Shelby confesses with a bright smile.
"Do you want a dog? Cause at this point Pagan and Morpheus are free to good home." Rachel says seriously.
"Actually... can i get back to you on that? I'm renting and would have to see if its ok with my rental agreement." Shelby was just as serious and it made Rachel smile.
Over the next several weeks things had been going a lot better for Rachel. Shelby was a weekly visitor with Rachel now and would sometimes even bring Beth, they would meet Thursdays when Rachel didn't have to work and the singer would actually cook a meal for them instead of reheating left overs. Rachel actually really enjoyed this time, mother daughter time and she got to hang out with Beth who looked so perfectly like a blend of Quinn and Puck but with Shelby's attitude that it was nothing short of amazing to see.
Things with Brittany and Santana had remained the same but they would sometimes join Rachel and Shelby for dinner and when Quinn got over herself she was even invited. Things were going really well until Burt Hummel decided to run against Sue for Congress. With the amount of guff that Santana was giving Finn anytime the boy would approach Rachel it was any wonder that it hadn't been dropped sooner. Yet when Finn outed Santana in the halls of McKinley no one knew it would snowball so badly over the weekend.
Brittany had already gone off to class with Quinn while Santana and Rachel were still walking down the halls on the way to there own class. Becky Jackson approached Santana with the simple message that Sue wanted to see her. Frowning and feeling something was off Santana took Rachel's hand and wordlessly the two went to Sue's office. The sense of dread only intensified when the girls saw Will and Burt also in the room when they walked in. Burt closed the door and no one commented when Rachel was there as well.
"What's going on?" Santana asks clutching Rachel's hand hard.
"Have a seat, girls." Sue gestures the usual two seats in front of the desk, Rachel was frowning and Santana looked worried.
"I'm afraid we have some bad news and i think i might be to blame." Sue starts only to be interrupted by Burt.
"Oh you think?"
"Watch your blood pressure, Bubbles." Sue warned snarkily before looking to the girls, mostly Santana.
"In my campaign to become Ohio's newest congresswoman, I've said some things that are not true, and i don't feel good about it. I set the tone for this Campaign, and now i'm afraid my slanderous chickens have come home to roost." Sue was clearly genuinely apologetic but neither girl had any idea what this was about.
"Santana, you should know that i have the phone number of a counsellor who specialises in this." Mr Schue finally piped up.
"It's something that, uh, i've been through first-hand and id be willing to talk your family through it." Burt adds genuinely, if a little awkwardly.
"What are you talking about?" Santana asks frowning and flexing her fingers in Rachel's hand.
"Reggie 'the Sauce' Salazar sent me an advance copy of his latest campaign ad." Burt holds up the tape, a VHS tape because apparently those still exist.
"It turns out he has a niece who goes to this school, and she overheard a conversation a couple of days ago between you and Finn Hudson." Sue couldn't be sure but as the blood drained out of Santana's face she could have sworn she heard the little spit fire beside her cheerleader growl. Burt put the tape in the already handy VCR and turned the television on.
Sue Sylvester wants to represent Ohio. She says she shares your values. If that's true boy do we have some questions. If you're so into family values, why did you promote a lesbian student to be your head cheerleader? At this point the film switches to a shot of the cheer squad doing a pose only a bright red circle around Santana, a happy looking Santana who has done nothing wrong. And when did you plan on telling Ohio families? Why don't you have a husband Sue? Is there something you're not telling us? Sue Sylvester. So many questions.
Santana had let go of Rachel's hand when the photo of her had been revealed and looked somewhere between bursting into tears. Rachel was about ready to murder someone slowly, who ever this niece was was quite likely to be the first but potentially not the last.
"I can't believe this is happening." Santana croaked out tearfully and it gutted Rachel.
"I'm so sorry." Sue spoke softly and sincerely.
"I haven't even told my parents yet." Santana sobbed before standing and running out.
Rachel hadn't gone after Santana even though she had wanted too, instead she found Brittany after class and let her know what happened and the dancer nodded before leaving, she had been getting really great grades lately despite how air headed she seemed most of the time so she could allow for a day off from school. Rachel had missed a fair bit but even still she didn't go straight to her next class, instead she sought out a friend. Or perhaps the one person in Glee she had never felt judged by.
"Tina." Rachel trotted closer to catch up to the girl.
"Rachel, hey, what's up?" Tina asks curiously.
"I was hoping you could tell me who Reggie Salazar's niece is that goes here?" Rachel asks getting right to the point.
"The Sauce? No but i bet i can find out for you. Give me until the end of the day?" Tina smirks already thinking about scaring the information out of Figgins.
"Thats fine thank you." Rachel gave a little half smile.
"Can i ask why you need to know though?" Tina inquires before Rachel can move away, Mike stepped up beside his girlfriend and offered a greeting to Rachel.
"Hey Mike. Yeah, Finn kind of outed Santana except who ever this niece is told Reggie and now he's using that information in the next add of his smear campaign. He's nationally outing Santana and i want to have words." Rachel explains softly and Mike and Tina both looked disgusted.
"Wow, that a dirt bag." Mike comments frowning and Rachel and Tina both nod.
"I'll get the information and text it too you. Here comes boy wonder." Tina offers and gestures over Rachels shoulder as they move to leave. Rachel turns to see Finn.
Finn had no idea what kind of firestorm he was about to walk into but it was going to escalate faster than he could process, he was about to get a taste of medicine he was used to dishing out and not taking himself. Rachel, had she known, would maybe had also felt bad for him but there was no chance she could really care.
"Hey Rach." Finn smiled that dopey smile that Rachel was sure he thought was charming.
"Don't 'hey Rach, me. You should be ashamed of yourself Finn." Rachel starts right away because her ire regarding the boy was reaching breaking point.
"What? What are you talking about?" Finn was confused which wasn't surprising at all.
"I'm talking about how you outed Santana." Rachel hisses a little loudly getting Quinn and Lauren's attention, the two had been up the hall a little way talking about Yahweh knows what.
"What are you talking about? Everyone already knows." Finn shrugs like its no big deal because he doesn't even realise what he's done.
"It doesn't even matter if everyone knows dude." Zizes huffs and pokes a finger at Finn.
"That was Santana's confession to make, Finn." Quinn scowls, it didn't matter the issues the two had had in the past, Santana was still one of Quinn's closest friends.
"It's not a confession if everyone knows." Finn shrugs but the red face was indicating that he was getting angry. Mercedes and Kurt had appeared a moment before.
"We all knew that Kurt was gay too, but do you think it made it easier for him to actually admit it?" Rachel countered looking at Finn seriously and the oaf seemed to finally understand.
"Damn... i really fucked up. But it's just the school..." Finn tries but Kurt shakes his head.
"Its not. I saw dad earlier. Reggie Salazar has outed Santana nationally in his stupid smear campaign against Sue." Kurt explains and Finn pales.
"Santana's going to kill me." Finn mumbles.
"You're lucky we haven't done it for her." Quinn says and the group nods. It didn't matter that Santana was so mean most of the time, when it mattered the Glee Family would come through for one of their own. It was why Rachel hadn't given it up all together.
When Rachel got home after work that night it was to find Santana and Brittany asleep on her couch, she smiled at the sight and was rather fond of the idea of coming home to the two. She moved quietly into her kitchen and fixed herself a Nutella sandwich and turned the kettle on to boil some water.
Rachel at her sandwich as she made her coffee and then sipped it slowly as she watched her best friends asleep on her sofa, she had given Santana a key a while ago as the two cheerleaders had offered to take the dogs for walks on the days that Rach worked after school. It was easier now it was just Pagan and Nyx, Shelby had been allowed to have Morpheus.
When the girl was done with her coffee she decided on a shower and headed upstairs to her room getting some sleep wear and fresh underpants and heading into the bathroom. The shower felt amazing but really only made her more tired than she had been to begin with. Stepping out after a solid twenty minutes she dried off and got dressed before going into her bedroom.
She was only slightly surprised when she saw that Santana and Brittany had woken at some point and made their way up. They had both stripped down to tee shirts and panties as was custom anymore, they had bought a few things over and kept here for the nights they stayed over. The two were currently laying on Rachel's bed sharing slow tender kisses. Rachel smiled softly and made her way over onto the bed and slid in behind Brittany, Rachel was usually in the middle but that was typically because normally Brittany was laying on top of her.
"Hey." Rachel spoke softly and the girls smiled as they broke apart.
"Hey." Santana slid over Brittany so she was on Rachel's other side.
"Rae." Brittany cooed in her sweet way and when Rachel smiled at the girl the blonde leaned over and kissed the singers lips slowly. Rachel made a happy little squeaking sound at the action before returning the kiss.
"I told my parents. They were totally cool with it." Santana explains gently and Rachel and Brittany break from the soft kiss and smile at their third.
"That's fantastic news. I know how worried you had been." Rachel smiled and Santana smiled back.
"I know but mami thinks Abuela will take it badly. Christian values." Santana sighs softly.
"Damn Christians." Brittany huffs and Santana and Rachel both stare at her for a moment before the three of them burst into a fit of giggles.
Rachel was pleased with how the majority of the school had handled Santana's being outed, most people just smiled and carried on, some offered support. It was only a random few, mostly guys, who gave Santana any kind of grief. Monday after school Rachel got a call from her family doctor, she wasn't sexually active even with the development of her relationship with Brittany and Santana, they made out fairly frequently and snuggled as much as possible, but the two cheerios had agreed that since Rachel was still a virgin then they wouldn't abstain themselves and wait until Rachel was ready. Even had been having once yearly check ups and pap tests since she had turned fourteen.
The appointment was for Wednesday afternoon and Rachel hung up and finished her shift, when she got out her girls were there waiting for her and she smiled happily, Brittany was already in the divers seat so she climbed in with Santana and happily received a languid hello kiss while handing Brittany the keys. Santana nipped her lip before pulling back and the two smiled happily as Brittany started the vehicle and headed out for Rachel's place. The chatter on the way was light and once there Santana unlocked the door and went straight in and made Rachel something to eat.
"What are you doing Wednesday Rachie?" Brittany asked sweetly sitting down on the sofa and pulling the singer onto her lap.
"I have a doctors appointment after school, otherwise nothing." Rachel smiles and loops her arms around the blonds neck and kisses her softly.
"Want to go on a date with us?" Santana asks sweetly as she watched the two from the kitchen.
"Wednesday? Yes please." Rachel says happily pulling back from Brittany slightly, the blonde kissed along Rachel's jaw slowly while the little singer looked at Santana.
"Perfect. We are going to that really nice Spanish place in West Lima. The one Ash likes so much." Santana explains while Rachel pulls Brittany's ponytail free and runs her fingers through the blonde locks.
"Oo Spanish." Brittany coos happily against Rachel's neck making the smaller girl giggle.
"Indeed. It sounds great, i can't wait." Rachel smiles happily and snuggles into Brittany while waiting on Santana.
The trio had talked at length about how this relationship would work, there had been worries obviously. This was before Santana was outed and since then they had easily and even wordlessly slipped into a relationship. At school very little had changed at all, they held hands when they were together, sat together, talked together and argued during glee together. When someone made a stupid comment to Santana or Rachel the other two were always there to defend. The intimacies, the cuddling and kissing, had happened seamlessly and there was, surprisingly for all three, no jealousy. If Rachel and San were kissing Britt just carried on with what she was doing, same if it was Rachel and San or San and Britt, there was only love no jealousy. It worked for them.
"So... we will call you when the results are back, but try not to stress out ok? It could be nothing, false-positives happen a lot." Dr Singh explains with a soft smile, Rachel had finished getting dressed and was sitting at the doctors desk rubbing the small spot on her arm where she had had blood drawn.
"Thank you doctor. When will it be back?" Rachel asks softly.
"I'll put a rush on it and it should be no more than three days." The doctor gives a reassuring smile and Rachel nods returning it a little before standing up.
"I'll be hearing from you then. Have a nice day." Rachel spoke softly and turned and left with a soft sigh sounding in her head for the next hour, the doctors sigh speaking volumes.
"Hey gorgeous girl!" Rachel greeted Brittany happily, even with everything that had been on her mind she was always happy to see her girls.
"Rae." Brittany bounces over to the girl, the skirts of the forest green dress she had on swaying nicely around her thighs, Rachel happily embraced her girlfriend.
"Where's Sanny?" Rachel asks after gladly receiving a light kiss from her blonde.
"She will be here soon. Quinn dropped me off." Brittany smiled and pointed over to the other blonde in Glee who was sitting in her car a little uncertainly. Rachel smiled and grabbed her purse and keys and stepped out with Brittany but before she could shut the door Pagan ran out.
"Pagan!" Brittany called a little startled but the pup was heading towards the other blonde who was just stepping out of her car.
"Hey puppy." Quinn cooed and the tri-colored puppy ran right up to her.
"Don't want a dog do you?" Rachel asked seriously.
"Seriously?" Quinn asks surprising both girls.
"Yeah. She's a much loved left over." Rachel threading her fingers with Brittanys when the other girl grabbed her hand.
"Can i call my mum? I've asked her and shes open to the idea but she said it needs to be the right dog." Quinn explains seriously.
"Tell you what, wait here." Rachel smiles and kisses Britt's hand before she lets it go and heads back inside.
The two blondes were talking and petting the puppy when Rachel came back out, she had a reusable mesh bag and inside was a collar, lead and two cans of dog food that Pagan liked. Rachel handed it off to Quinn who looked back at her curiously causing the brunette to smile warmly.
"Take Pagan home, a few nights, tell your mum i said its fine for you guys to have a trial run with her. She's really sweet, and toilet trained but you'll have to show her the back door and all that. Leash trained and she usually will obey basic commands, come, sit, stay and lay down. If she doesn't blend with you and your mum you're welcome to bring her back here." Rachel explains sincerely and it pleases her to see Quinn's eyes light up.
"Wow, thanks Rach, that's really generous of you. How much do you want for her? My mums going to want to know a price." Quinn sets the bag in her car and Pagan immediately hops in and sits on the front passenger seat as if she knows whats happening.
"Free to good home." Britt informs and Rachel smiles and nods.
"That's right. I just want her to be happy and cared for, she was the runt but a total sweetie." Rachel smiles warmly as Santana's car pulls in beside Quinn's.
"You're the best. I feel like a complete bitch any time i think of you though." Quinn says and pouts. Santana hops out of the car and walks over.
"Don't worry about it. Like Rafiki said, you can learn from your past. We get along well now, thats what is important." Rachel smiled.
"Mufasa." Brittany whispers dramatically, a playful grin on her face.
Santana smiles a greeting at Quinn and then places a fond kiss on Britt's lips before turning to offer the same to Rachel, both thirds of the triad smiled happily at their Latina. Quinn on the other hand looked confused, she knew that the three were friends and she knew that Brittany and Santana were in love but she had no idea that the three were so close that they shared kisses like... together.
"Wait what?" Quinn looked surprised.
"We're together." Brittany chirps happily.
"Wait what?" Quinn repeats making Brittany pout and Rachel giggle.
"Ok so let me lay it out for you. I've kind of always been in love with Britt-Britt. I found out how crumby things were with Rachel months ago and we all struck up a friendship. Britt and i talked about it, a fair bit, until we both realised we were kind of in love with Rachel, like together. We both wanted her and wanted each other." Santana explains and Brittany nods.
"And Rae loves us. But we couldn't get together until last week." Brittany explains.
"Why not?" Quinn asks seeming to snap out of her stupor.
"Santi didn't want to be in a relationship she would have to hide because she wasn't ready to come out, she didn't want Britt and i to be her dirty little secret so we remained friends only. Snuggle buddies once or twice a week." Rachel explains and Quinn looks at Santana and a slow smile creeps onto her face.
"Wow, you're so deep San." Quinn smiles.
"That's what she said." Santana retorts and Quinn huffs.
"And you ruined it." They all laugh.
"So how was it?" Dana asked Rachel who was laying on her floor Saturday night waiting for her girls to get there.
"It was so good. I mean obviously we know one another really well but it was really nice to be out in public on a date and being all sweet to one another. When we got home they went through the whole rigmarole of the kiss at the doorstep which was really just goofy especially since they stayed the night." Rachel explained with a fond smile on her face.
There was a small table of gifts and Ash had her tattoo gear there and set up as it happened to be Santana's birthday the following day and the Latina had requested that she along with Britt and Rachel get matching tattoo's. No names but something Santana has picked out and plans to surprise them with when she gets there which Rachel is hoping wont be too long as she hasn't seen her girls since that morning when they had been to the Bean to get coffee and see her.
"That's so sweet." Mary-Ann comments smiling brightly, she had just got done using her phone to order pizzas for them all.
"Shh, You're setting standards i cant meet." Ash hissed playfully earning a gentle swat from her girlfriend.
At that point there was a slight knock on the front door before it opened up and the two girls in question walked in looking tired but happy. Rachel smiled adoringly at the two who had mumbled fond greetings to the other girls before moving over and getting down on the floor with Rachel. Santana sat beside the singer after giving her a little kiss but Brittany had quickly situated herself on top of the singer. Rachel was propped up by a bean bag seat she had and really didn't mind Brittany on her at all.
"Big day?" Mary-Ann asked looking at Santana
"Yes. Sue is determined to win Nationals this year, we haven't even been to Regionals yet, shes got us working on two routines." Santana grumbles and looks at Rachel who was smiling at her.
"Sorry babe, we always knew Sue was a few screws loose though." Rachel offers sympathetically.
"Truth, from what we've seen on her on Sue's Corner and the whole Congress thing, she seems to be quite... eccentric." Dana offers trying not to be too impolite.
"Professor Dumbledor was eccentric, Sue is just crazy." Brittany corrected with her head on Rachel's shoulder and her eyes closed.
"Truth. Now lets talk ink." Ashlee says grinning at the blonde cheerleader before looking to Santana.
"I can't believe these hurt so much." Santana was complaining about her tattoo on Monday at lunch time.
"Babe... its not that the tattoo hurts, its that you're a cheerleader and the placement really wasn't optimal for you." Rachel offers rubbing the girls arm, they were waiting for Brittany and Quinn who had Math together last period.
"Yeah but it was still worth it. How is yours feeling?" Santana slid her hand under the bottom of Rachel's shirt and lightly ran her fingertip around the healing matching triquetra knot on her hip.
"It's healing well." Rachel smiled and leaned into the latinas touch.
"Good, i'm glad. Britt's is almost healed up." Santana pouts with this information, Brittany had gotten her knot done on the inside of her wrist because she had the kitten and duck hugging on her hip already.
"The freak." Rachel says affectionately and Santana chuckles and leans into the little brunette and kisses her gently on the lips.
Rachel returned the kiss happily, brushing her lips lightly along Santana's only to pout when her phone began to ring, she had wanted to ignore it but she had been waiting on a call and knew she needed to answer. Except when she did answer it she was kind of wishing she hadn't though she worked not to let it show, it seemed to work well enough especially when the blonds showed up for lunch. Rachel hid her secrets well but for the moment didn't want to mention anything to her happy go lucky girlfriends, especially since she still didn't know what she was dealing with.
Rachel never got to school until lunch time the next day and she had shrugged it off with her girls as cramping and not wanting to deal that morning. They understood and since Rachel didn't have parents really breathing down her neck they knew she could get away with things like that. Rachel had smiled and enjoyed the rest of her day until having to go to work that afternoon.
The rest of the week went quickly it seemed and Rachel was able to put things to the back of her mind easily enough, she spent all her free time with her girls and the rest was taken up with school and work. She still managed to find time to walk Nyx, Judy Fabray had fallen quickly in love with Pagan and so Quinn had finally gotten the dog she wanted and the pup gave Judy company through the days while Quinn was at school. Rachel had a vet appointment for Nyx that afternoon, to get her spayed, so Friday she left school a little early so she could drop her dog off and get to work on time.
Santana and Brittany had spent the night with Rachel and even went into the Bean with her and they all ha breakfast there, when it started to get busy the two girls bid farewell to Rachel and went off to Cheerio practice with Sue, they would be meeting up that night and the girls would be staying over. Rachel made it almost all the way through her shift before her phone rang, it was a quiet moment so she checked the caller ID and then bit her lip, gesturing to Tyler she was able to step in the back and answer the call.
"Hello, Rachel?"
"Hey Doc. So... what's the verdict?" Rachel asks not beating around the bush at all.
"Rachel i... i really think we should talk about this at the office." Doctor Singh returns gently.
"I... i really cant. I really can't right now. Can you just tell me? Please? I'm at work." Rachel managed to keep her voice steady.
"Rachel its... its Metastatic and had spread, we need to do an MRI to find out the true extent of it." Doctor Singh was trying to be gentle.
"Survivable?" Rachel's tone had gone hard.
"Rachel..."
"Yes or no, Doctor." The little singer bit out.
"It's highly aggressive." The doctor says slowly and Rachel's heart stopped for a moment before it began to pound in her chest.
"When can we do the MRI?" Rachel asks after a moment of silence.
"Monday morning. Rachel i'm really sorry." The doctor offers softly and Rachel shakes her head.
"Just text me the time." Rachel gasps softly and hangs up before choking on a sob.
Rachel was laying in bed Sunday afternoon with her two favourite people with her, she had been a little lost in her own head and when she came back to herself she smiled at the sight of the two girls kissing passionately. It was in that moment that she decided she wanted things to progress here. There had been a lot of heavy make out sessions between the three or them and she knew that Santana and Brittany were holding back for her but things had changed now and she didn't want to wait anymore.
Moving off the bed Rachel decided the best way to get her message across was with minimal clothing in the way, she wanted this, she wanted them and the easiest way to make it known was to get naked besides her panties and matching bra and move back onto the bed. Neither girl noticed immediately so Rachel pressed up against Santana's back and slid her hand along the girls side before leaning and kissing along Santana's neck. The latina moaned getting turned on quickly as Rachel's tongue slid over her pulse point.
"Why are you naked?" Brittany gasped out having had opened her eyes and looked at Rachel. Santana rolled over at this statement and openly checked out the fit body of the little singer.
"Because i think this is how this is supposed to work." Rachel states a little huskily, she shivered at the dark lustful looks in her cheerleaders eyes.
"You're sure?" Santana breathed out the question slowly and Rachel nodded before pulling the girl into a deep kiss. It didn't take long before all three were naked and showing their love and appreciation for one another.
Monday morning was met with Rachel going to her first class just lying to her girlfriends about having to take Nyx for a post op check up with the vet. Her anxiety levels sky rocketed and she actually had to pull over once of her way to the hospital just to throw up. By the time she made it to the hospital she was borderline exhausted and had gotten through the MRI effectively without realising it had even happened. She wasn't sure if she had fallen asleep in Doctor Singh's office or not but one moment she was sitting waiting and the next the doctor was sitting in front of her.
"How are you feeling?" Rachel looked at the woman and shrugged slightly.
"Frankly, i don't know. Yesterday i lost my virginity and it was amazing and now i'm about to find out exactly when i'm going to die. I don't know. Somewhere between wanting to go spend time with my girls or curling up in a corner under a pot plant and crying for a while." Rachel rambled and the doctor looked practically pained.
"Rachel the MRI showed us that most of your body is already affected by this. Its spread from the nodes we saw in the mammogram to your lungs, liver, your kidneys are even showing signs and its already in your bones. We can slow it down with Radiation therapy but there is, unfortunately, no stopping this thing." Doctor Singh wasn't sure how else to break the news exactly but rambling was never a good thing from patients.
"How long?" Rachel asks strained.
"You will start feeling the effects of this thing in around three to five weeks. With treatment we may well be able to extend your expectancy a few months giving you around six months from here. Without i'd say around three months." The doctor explains.
"Right... Thank you. I wont be requiring any treatment." Rachel stands suddenly and goes to the door.
"Rachel we tried calling your fathers, you're still underage, they wouldn't answer. Are you... do they know whats going on?" The doctor asks and Rachel had tears streaming down her face.
"Of course they don't. They don't give a damn about me." Rachel choked out before leaving.
"Hey babe." Santana showed up to glee early to find Rachel sitting there and the little singer smiled happily.
"Hey gorgeous." Rachel opened her arms and Santana settled in her lap.
"Duck will be a little late, she was running through a choreography error that Sue was having trouble seeing. Woman needs glasses." Santana informs as she turns her head and smiles at the girl whose lap she was occupying.
"Mm, sounds like Sue alright. She only sees success." Rachel chirps and grins when the latina laughs.
The two women were kissing softly, sweetly, when some of the others came into the room. Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Mike and Artie came in to be exact and much like Quinn they were surprised by this development. Of course Santana was out now and everyone knew she and Brittany were a thing but no one really knew that Rachel was more than just there best friend. So it was completely reasonable to break apart at the sound of Mercedes scandalised gasp and Kurt's shocked squeak. Rachel looked over the stationary group by the door curiously while Santana heaved an annoyed sigh at the interruption.
"Your hand is under Santana's skirt." Tina is the first to break the silence and Rachel looks down at said hand that was indeed under the cheerleaders skirt.
"Might have been under her spankies too had you not shown up." Rachel retorts but removes her hand as well. She felt Santana smirk against her neck when the others made slightly disgusted sounds. Brittany and Quinn chose that moment to walk in together.
Jaws, except for Quinn's, dropped as Brittany walked over and pushed Santana off of Rachel's lap and then climbed into the spot herself. Santana didn't seem to mind and instead took in the pout on Brittany's and frowned a little as she settled beside the two girls. Rachel had noticed as well and was whispering sweet nothings to the girl who looked like she wanted to smack someone. It took them a moment before Quinn looked over at the triad and noticed Britt was still pouting.
"Coach was being a bitch." Quinn spoke up.
"No she wasn't, she was being a straight up monster. She saw my tattoo and then was being completely condescending and telling me i had no idea the meaning behind the symbolism and when i told her exactly why i had she called me a fool for marking myself over something that wouldn't work and wouldn't last." Brittany huffed and those present were no longer sure if they were surprised by the apparent relationship the three were engaged in or the fact that Brittany used big words.
"Don't even worry about her. We know its going to last." Santana says and Rachel can only nod and swallow the guilt.
"I love you and Rae." Brittany says softly and the two darker haired girls smile.
"We love you too, Duck." Rachel and Santana spoke in unison. Kurt fainted.
Two and a half weeks later things started to change, Rachel's birthday was coming up and she had a plan to tell her friends and family what she had been hiding, but surprisingly it was Shelby who was the first to notice something was wrong. Rachel had been starting to really feel the symptoms, or at least she was feeling a deep ache that came and went up along her shoulder and clavicle on the right side of her body. Things were getting too hard to hide and in a week she was going to invite her closest friends, and Shelby and Quinn to a sort of get together in her home and confess.
"You alright, Rach?" Shelby asks gently while the two were sitting having lunch on a Sunday.
"Yeah just must have pulled a muscle or something. Brittany wanted to try this weird new position." Rachel lies, well partially.
"Whoa, way too much information." Shelby makes a face but her expression was playful.
"Ugh! Not like that. I meant cheer position. She wanted to practice it before showing it to Sue." Rachel laughs.
Brittany and Santana were laying on Rachel's bed, entirely naked and slightly sweaty. Rachel herself was in the shower after they'd spent the better part of the morning making love. The cheerleaders were still lightly caressing one another as they relaxed before having to get up to help Rachel make the food for tonight's get together.
"Rachel's been weird lately." Brittany finally states.
"You noticed too huh?" Santana says softly.
It had been hard not to notice, Rachel had been spacing out a lot lately and when she wasn't she was initiating sex as often as possible. Not that the cheerleaders minded that so much but they couldn't understand why their bubbly brunette was so sullen lately.
"I have a bad feeling." Brittany whispers. Neither girl heard the shower cut off.
"Me too. Maybe she's going to leave us." Santana was grasping at straws.
"I am going to leave you." Rachel states softly from the door of the bedroom, she had a towel wrapped around her.
"What?" Both girls squeaked and looked at the little singer. Rachel walked over to the bed and sat down.
"You know... i've agonised over this. For a few weeks now." Rachel rambled a little, mostly to herself.
"What? What are you talking about? This shit isnt ok, Rachel." Santana says as her defences go up, she was feeling like she was about to be broken up with.
"It really isnt." Rachel chokes out suddenly entirely too upset.
Brittany moves then, away from Santana and moves over to Rachel wrapping her long arms around the little singer and holding her as Rachel pulls herself together. This was all too much and entirely too unfair but Santana had no idea what was going on and so she wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel right now. She'd called herself emotionally retarded in the past, not sure how she was supposed to feel at a certain time or situation.
"Remember when i had my yearly doctors appointment? Because my fathers weren't entirely sure of my biological medical history they always went the whole nine yards." Rachel had calmed enough to speak.
"Rachel... tell us." Brittany says because she was already thinking the worst, only she didn't know it was inevitable.
"I am leaving you. Not today, not tomorrow. But soon. Because i'm dying." Rachel sobs again and Santana sat and stared while Brittany buried her face in Rachel's neck.
"Rachel i... i don't understand." Santana says after a moment.
"I have... stage four... breast cancer." Rachel gets out between sobs.
Rachel was getting food ready to bring out to the people crammed in her home, Brittany and Santana were there helping her bring the dishes out, it was a casual kind of all out for the point of celebrating Rachel's birthday. Shelby and Beth had shown up with Quinn who had grown rather fond of not only her biological daughter but also Beth's adoptive mother. Dana, Ashlee and Mary-Ann were there and Edith was on her way over she had just stated a half hour before that she was putting the final touches on the cake she had made for Rachel.
The triad was, naturally, a bit more downcast than may have been appropriate given that it was a celebration. Yet somehow the party goers were busy having conversations amongst themselves to really notice. Edith arrived, the cake in a box, and the dinner was started. Santana and Brittany ate slowly and spoke when spoken too but Rachel barely ate anything.
"So i thought this was a celebration, who died?" Ashlee asked suddenly. The group was now looking at the sullen triad.
"Seriously?" Santana snapped and stood suddenly, walking into the kitchen and getting a glass of water.
"Ok... what's that about?" Quinn asks frowning, she had Beth sitting on her lap.
"It's a touchy subject today." Brittany sniffles suddenly and gets up going to Santana. Rachel never felt so small.
"Rachel?" Shelby frowns slightly looking at her daughter.
"So... this is my last birthday. Surprise." Rachel says with absolutely no amusement in her tone.
"What the hell?" Mary-Ann, as well as everyone else, had stopped eating.
"I have stage four breast cancer. I'll be lucky to make it past February." Rachel's voice was strained but she really didn't want to cry again.
The room was silent, like deadly silent. Ashlee looked confused, Dana looked like she wanted to cry and Mary-Ann seemed to be just as shocked as Edith and Quinn. Beth was still babbling softly because she really just was too little to even understand what was happening. Shelby was the first to really react and it surprised and pleased Rachel when the woman stood and moved around the table kneeling beside the smaller girl and wrapping her arms around her. Rachel hadn't wanted to cry but she couldn't stop herself.
The holidays had been stilted a little as far as Rachel's relationship had been concerned and her friends were all over the place with how they acted around Rachel. Sometimes they were really relaxed and chill with her and other times they acted like she was going to break in half if they breathed too heavily. Rachel tried and to the best of her ability tolerated it well enough.
Christmas had been the most enjoyable but due to her imminent death Rachel had insisted on no gifts. She had, how ever, gotten Santana and Brittany gifts. Brittany got a little duck pendent necklace that had RSB etched into the back side of it. She wouldn't be around but she loved her girls dearly and wanted them to have a momento. Santana on the other hand had been gifted a laptop from the singer that had pre-uploaded photos of the three of them, plus their other close friends and families already on it. She had had the case personalised with Santana's name as on the bottom of the lid was the RSB inside the stencil of a duck to match Britt's necklace.
When they were back at School things carried on, Rachel held her head high even though only four people in attendance actually knew she was terminally ill. The world kept spinning just as she knew and hoped that it would. While she was alone, as she had quit her job, she worked out all of her things, having several meetings with a lawyer. Rachel didn't have much but she did have 40K that she was splitting three ways between Santana, Brittany and Shelby. She had already explained to Shelby that she wanted to be cremated and didn't want any kind of funeral, it was only right that Shelby take the ashes, the woman had come a long way towards being her mother.
"What's up, Berry, your bitches haven't been around much." Azimio had found her, not that that had been difficult, she was at her locker getting her books.
"They have lives." Rachel comments without turning to look at him.
"Well i'm glad they aren't here. Makes it easier to do this." The smug jock stated calmly and Rachel knew before she even turned what was going to happen.
Being slushied hadn't occurred for a while but she expected it really after having come back from the winter break. It didn't surprise her and it didn't bother her as much as she thought it might have either. Instead she took the ice drink to the face and calmly walked to the nearest bathroom, she hadn't noticed that she had walked right past a clearly annoyed Sue Sylvester. Rachel was in the middle of cleaning herself off when Sue walked into the bathroom.
"Two of my cheerleaders seem to be really upset this last week... whatever you did, apologise." Sue says in her best intimidating voice.
"I cant apologise." Rachel states flatly.
"You can and will." Sue huffs scowling at the girl.
"It wouldn't mean anything if i did." Rachel pulled her sweater off and set it aside, it was ruined.
"What?" Sue was now officially unsure what was going, there was no fear in this dwarf child.
"I'm dying Sue, i have terminal breast cancer. How can i apologise for that? For falling in love with them and then having to leave so definitely. I can't fix this and Yahweh knows i wish i could. Just... Give them a break, they're dealing with this the best they can." Rachel got out as she pushed her sweater into the trash bin and walked out leaving a shocked Sue behind.
Glee that afternoon had started alright, Finn and Sam sand a song with Puck, who was still pining after Zizes. Santana and Brittany were there on each side of her looking mostly bored and a little sad and Quinn was sitting beside Santana doodling. The other blonde was doodling what was clearly Shelby and Beth and Rachel had to smile internally at this. Quinn Fabray was hiding a little bit of gay and it pleased Rachel to no end really, she decided she would have to talk to Shelby later.
"So i was thinking for Regionals we could do Here's to us as a solo, maybe have Rachel sing it. Want to put it to a vote?" Sue spoke up.
"Ugh... no Mr Schue, that's not necessary." Rachel spoke up frowning, usually she was consulted or had to ask for a solo.
"Yeah seriously... why is it automatically Rachel?" Mercedes speaks up with a scowl.
"I agree, maybe i could rock that song. Why not try outs." Kurt agreed with Mercedes obviously.
"No please." Rachel tried again.
"Hey i could totally rock Halestorm songs." Finn cuts in.
"Just shut the fuck up." Santana speaks loudly and her tone quiets everyone who was starting to bicker.
"Santana! Language." Schue admonishes but Santana shakes her head.
"Whatever, just shut up and let Rachel speak." Her voice cracked on the last word and her eyes filled with tears she managed not to shed.
"I'm not going to be here. In fact you really should think about replacing me." Rachel says taking Santana's hand in her own and squeezing gently.
"Rachel, i don't understand." Mr Schue says frowning at the little brunette.
"I'm not going to be here. I'm um... i'm dying, i have terminal cancer." Rachel dropped the bomb.
"Yeah right. Good one Jew Babe." Puck laughs breaking the silence. Santana burst into tears and ran out which was the point that everyone seemed to realise Rachel wasn't kidding about this.
"Rachel i..." Mr Schue trailed off not knowing what to say. What do you say to someone who was dying? Sorry. Nice knowing you.
"You need to replace her and you need to give Santana and Britt a few allowances because they arent handling this very well." Quinn speaks up after the silence drags out too long.
"How can you be so... callous about this? Rachel just said she's dying." Finn scowls at the blonde.
"I'm not being callous, Finn, i'm just not letting this consume me because that isn't what Rachel wants." Quinn scowls right back except her scowl actually looks like a scowl and not the expression one might have if they were suffering stomach pains.
"What Rachel wants?" Artie seemed a little confused.
"Quinn, Britt, San and Shelby have known for a little while now. They know that i just want everything to keeping moving forward." Rachel finally speaks up again, she was holding Brittany who was sobbing. No one really knew what to say after that and Schue finished up early.
Days slowly turned into weeks and Rachel's health deteriorated quickly, she hated it. Hated seeing the pain and upset on Santana and Brittany's face when they were with her, hated the way Shelby looked close to tears any time she looked at the girl. She hated the way Edith felt like she had to check in twice daily after Rachel stopped going to school. She hated how silent her phone was, how no one knew what to say to her so no one said anything at all. She hated that Brittany had to carry her downstairs to the couch if she ever wanted to spend time with Ash, Mare and Dana.
More than anything Rachel hated that she couldn't do anything, this death wasn't even really happening to her, when it happened it would be over for her but for her girls, for her friends and family. Santana had agreed to take Nyx with her, Brittany had wanted too but Lord Tubbington didn't like the dog one little bit and Brittany had issues with the conflict. The landlord had allowed Rachel to go rent free until such time as her passing and her things would be left with Edith so Shelby and the girls could sort through them and keep what they liked.
Finally, after so many days into February, Rachel took a turn for the worst and was admitted to hospital where she was put on strong pain medication and oxygen. The cancer was eating away at her at a rapid pace and Rachel was getting weaker by the day. Santana and Brittany were with her constantly, barely going to eat or sleep just to be with her and Rachel kind of really hated it. Hated that they had to see her like this.
"I want... you guys... not to come... back tomorrow." Rachel panted out softly one evening, she had convinced the loves of her life to go home for the night.
"Rae..." Brittany and Santana had both looked lost at this comment.
"Please... please don't. I don't... want you both... to sit... and watch... me die." Rachel gasped out slowly.
"We love you, we don't want you to be alone." Santana whispers, stricken.
"I love... you both... so much." Rachel whispers softly. "Because of you... i'll never... be alone... again."
Brittany and Santana went home, leaving Rachel by herself in her sterile room. The little brunette passed away that night her body shutting down painlessly while she slept. She didn't die alone, not in essence, but instead had passed away feeling loved and cherished, as if she had accomplished everything in her life that she had been destined to do. Rachel Berry died loved, she died happy.
This was not meant to be a song fic but somewhat turned into one. The songs/Lyrics are for U turn by Tegan and Sara and I'm Just a Kid by Simple Plan.
Insight into the Hiram/LeRoy thing, i really just used the dog as a gimmick, in my mind LeRoy was afraid as had been attacked by a dog as a child not that i ever really explained that at all. I also decided without explaining it that they were so easily able to give up/buy Rachel out because during the weekends she wouldnt spend with them they realised they enjoyed it being just the two of them. Not necessarily awful people but really not the greatest either.
Also i really kind of ended up hating myself for this fic, i dont know why i went this route and i literally sat here and cried while writing the ending because i definitely had a friend who found she had breast cancer too late and even though its been 10+ years its still really awful so i apologise to everyone and anyone that this affects.
Feel free to review!