Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of the ideas in the story. In fact, I deliberately stole as many of the ideas on this site as I could. R&R.
"Derek, Casey, please sit down," said Nora. "George and I have something to tell you."
"What's going on?" said Derek.
"Well, son," said George, "even though Nora and I are clearly in love, we decided that we would get a divorce."
"That way," added Nora, "you and Casey will be free to be together without people claiming that it was incest."
"Gee, Mom, that's terrific!" said Casey. "We have some news for you and George too."
"Dad," said Derek, "Casey and I have been secretly married for the last three years."
"And I'm seven months pregnant with Derek's baby!" chimed Casey.
"Casey, darling, that's absolutely wonderful!" said Nora. "I just thought you were getting fat."
"I didn't even notice that," said George, looking at Casey quizzically.
"Well," explained Casey proudly, "that's because I very effectively hid my stomach behind furniture, grocery bags, and other objects."
"Hmm, I'm not sure I like that," said George. "Nora, maybe we should throw Derek and Casey out on the street and never speak to them again."
"I thought about doing that," said Nora, calmly, "but then they'd have to find some charming neighbor couple or a friendly acquaintance to take them in so it's probably easier not to."
"So, son," said George, "how did you two get together anyways?"
"Well, Dad, it all started when I saw this 600,000 diamond necklace and made a spur of the moment decision to buy it for Casey for Christmas," said Derek.
"But how could you afford that Derek?" asked Nora.
"Well, Nora, at first I sold drugs on the street, but after becoming an addict and having Casey care for me while in rehab, I decided that it would be easier to sell one of my kidneys on the black market."
"And I got a job in a brothel frequented by my perverted abusive teacher and secretly gay ex-boyfriend Sam in order to buy Derek a lovely pocket watch!" said Casey.
"And we knew we were really in love when I saved Casey from being raped while she was bent over vomiting in a bout of recurrent bulimia," explained Derek.
"And this started about 3 years ago?" asked George pleasantly.
"Yeah," said Casey, "shortly after Marti was hit by that truck and died and Lizzie was diagnosed with leukemia."
"Oh, yes," said Nora, "that must have been shortly before Emily started dating Sam even though he's gay and having an affair with Max."
"Well," said George, "now that everything is settled, we should probably tell Lizzie and Edwin the news."
"Where are they anyways?" asked Nora.
"Probably having sex in the games closet again," said Derek.
"I just hope that Lizzie's chemo IV is not caught in the door again," said Casey.
"George, why don't you go get them," said Nora, "while I go get the child that we had together and Casey's long-lost twin who resembles the author of this story and almost came between Derek and Casey."
"Sounds terrific, Nora," said George. "Then maybe we could all watch the Notebook together and come to the realization of how similar the main characters are to Derek and Casey."
"Then afterwards maybe we could go on a road trip together and have zany sexual adventures across the country," said Derek.
"And we could meet some random strangers who could threaten our relationship although it's unlikely that we'll ever see them again!" said Casey.
"Yes," said Nora, "and in the car, how about we play that game where we think of all of our friends who could possibly be paired together and combine their names into a single word."
The en—
"Wait, Derek! We can't end like this!"
"Why not, Case? Seems okay to me."
"We forgot to insert the lyrics of a random song in italics, nearly doubling this story in length!"
"Well, fortunately, Case, I happen to have some lyrics handy."
Ay bay bay it won't end, won't end, won't end
(repeat)
Let´s talk about love
This is my love story
Boy meets girl and looks in her eyes
Time stands still and two hearts catch fire
Off they go rollercoaster ride
Up & down and around...
Twisted all out they minds
And then his friends
Said "its too soon to settle down"
And then her friends
Said "he's a playa, slow it down"
They couldn't be who they was
Cause it just seemed like love
Wasn't on they side
But this isn't ...
Just another love story
Together we'll make history
I know because it's just too real
They'll be no end to our love story
And this ain't gon end up
Like that Casablanca movie...no
This ain't no fairy tale or fiction
This is truly
Ours for all eternity
They'll be no end to our love story
Baby...
Ay bay bay it won't end, won't end, won't end
(repeat)
They'll be no end to our love story
The End.
Disclaimer 2: The work above in no way reflects a negative opinion of any particular story. Some of you have incorporated one or more of the elements mentioned in interesting ways that I have enjoyed reading.