Rainbow Road is what nightmares are made of
I say this cuz I think it's true
So sit yourself there, put your ass in a chair
And I'll take you on through this review
I never actually played the SNES Rainbow Road
I wasn't old enough to try
But I've seen videos on Youtube from Japanese dudes
And it makes me break down and cry
The graphics are blurry, the music is dull
There are things that stomp on your head
Not to mention no railing, it's lacking, it's failing
You fall off that bitch and you're dead
The N64 had quite a drastic change
From the one track that started it, see
It was extremely long, and to me it was wrong
That it took six minutes on 50cc
Not to mention it was extremely boring
Even though there were nice constellations
All the fence everywhere blocked the pit of despair
No pushing someone to a falling sensation
The GBA course got rid of the fence
But instead put in bouncy things
You'd boost right on past with a speed-booster blast
And then fly off with a giant BOING!
And then out of nowhere they decided to add
Those falling stars on the track
They'd hit the ground, make you spin out
And then you'd be sent to the back
The GCN version of this dreadful course
Was probably the easiest of all
It was big and wide, easy to power slide
But here's the thing that makes me bawl
I would do the All Cup, 150cc
And be in first after 25 minutes
Last course was the Road, but wouldn't you know
After all that work I'd win second
The DS was next with this track in the sky
And I must say it wasn't that bad
I'd slide right along, not do anything wrong
But here's a story that makes me sad
On 150cc I was playing as Bowser
When all the sudden with a shell I got hit
I fell through a gap near the end of the last lap
And Mario was like "Ha ha, eat shit!"
Rainbow Road Wii is the trippiest of all
I'll never forget my first race
With abundance of gaps and abundance of traps
I took home the cup at twelfth place
There's always one part that I can't get through
Without messing up most of the time
I'll ride the curving entrance, get stuck in the fence
And then watch my racer go bye-bye
Rainbow Road is what nightmares are made of
I've convinced myself that it's true
If you disagree you can say it to me
But really, what good would that do?
It just really sucks.