Crazy Like Us -

Once a year a small orphanage from London takes a trip to the seaside. Among the children in this orphanage was a young Tom Riddle. As the small bus full of children sped along to the seaside town, Tom Riddle sat alone in the back corner of the bus.

The other kids had run onto the bus to get to a spot where they wouldn't have to sit next to him. He sat alone brooding over something Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop had said. A few weeks ago Billy Stubb's rabbit had hung itself from the rafters of the orphanage.

It was still the talk of the orphanage; they wouldn't just let it go. Everyone thought Tom hung the rabbit, but he had been nowhere near it! It was just his bad luck the he had happened to get into an argument with Billy right before his rabbit hung itself. Sure, he had wished that something would happen to the rabbit, just to hurt Billy. But that didn't mean anything. Unfortunately he couldn't make his wishes come true.

Last Friday Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop had brought it up yet again. They were hanging out with a big group of the kids in the backyard when Tom had walked outside. Amy and Dennis were saying he was the only one who could have done it; the others were nodding and generally agreeing.

The only protest was that, "We were all in class when Mr Whiskers hung himself, even Tom, I saw him!"

Amy responded with, "Everyone was in class though! And it had to be one of us, because no one else was in the building. It must have been Tom."

Dennis added, "Weird stuff happens around him all the time, it doesn't make sense for it to have been anyone else. Tom is just a freak!"

"Yeah," said Amy, "I can't wait 'till they finally ship him off to the loony bin."

"You think he's really insane?" asked a little boy, hugging his teddy bear. "Is he dangerous?"

"Of course he is! What if he comes after us next?"

At that point they finally noticed Tom walking past the group. Dennis gulped, "What's up Tom?"

Tom just stared at him for a minute, expressionlessly, and then walked away.

And now, on their way to the seaside, Tom was brooding over their insults for the umpteenth time. How dare they call him a freak! How dare they say he should be in the loony bin! He vowed that day to get back at Dennis and Amy.

There were a bunch of huge rocks at the side of the town they were headed to. You would have to be a rock climber or something to get over them. Tom decided he would take the two that had been mocking him to the rocks. He would make them climb the rocks, it was the only thing he knew of here that might scare them.

After the rocks was the sea. Tom didn't think they would get that far at the time, though.

When they finally arrived in town they checked into the motel where they would be spending the next three days. There were four kids to a room. The three kids Tom had to share his room with were morons, as were all kids at the orphanage in Tom's opinion.

After they had lunch they went straight to the beach. It was a warm cloudy day; the other kids went running around the beach, making friends with the locals. Amy and Dennis were building a sand castle. It was pathetic looking.

Tom went up to them. Time to put his plan into action. "Hello Amy, Dennis."

"Hey Tom," Amy replied quietly, looking around nervously with her fellow sand castle builder. They had avoided Tom since he had heard them insulting him, they were afraid of him and Tom loved it.

"I realise you two have been avoiding me lately. So I wanted to show you something cool I found here last year, to clear the air. Is that alright?" Tom asked politely.

"W-What did you find?" Dennis looked nervous still, but curious.

"It's a surprise; I know you two will just love it."

And so Amy and Dennis warily went with Tom to see what this surprise was. Mrs Cole, the matron, didn't even notice as she was busy keeping track of the younger kids.

Tom led them to the far side of the beach, then through the rocks. Tom knew they wouldn't be able to get very far, as the rocks were difficult to climb, but this would have to do to scare them. There weren't exactly many horrors to choose from.

About a half hour into climbing through the rocks Tom heard a voice coming from the ground.

"I'm lost, could you direct me back to the beach?" it asked.

"Who's there!" Tom asked. He was looking around frantically. If anyone found out he was trying to terrorize Amy and Dennis he would get in actual trouble for once. Because this time there would be a witness capable of ratting him out. He continued to look around for this mystery person while Amy and Dennis stood there looking at him.

"What are you doing Tom? There's no one else here..." Amy asked quietly. According to the gossip around the orphanage Tom was insane. Looking around wildly for some voice no one else heard wasn't helping his case.

Tom stopped for a minute to think, "There's a landmark that should be around here, I'm just looking for it."

Then he heard the voice again. "Down here," it said. But when Tom looked there was nothing but a small snake. "Can you direct me back to the beach please? I'm lost."

"Snakes don't speak English!" Tom hissed, and took a step back in surprise.

"Well of course we don't! And neither are you at the moment. Snakes speak in parseltongue." the snake explained. "Now, would you direct me back to the beach please?"

"I'm speaking what?"

"Tom, why are you hissing? What are you doing over there?" Dennis asked. Tom knew if he didn't start acting sane again soon Dennis and Amy would leave, more or less un-terrorized but with a new story to tell the rest of the orphanage.

"I wasn't hissing it must have been the wind. And I found the landmark so let's go. I know you'll just love the surprise."

"Are we going to have to go near the edge of the rocks? They're dangerous. Someone could fall and die."

"Of course not." Tom replied walking off.

Tom started off again, going deeper into the rocks. They were going to have a tough time finding their way back now. Amy and Dennis were already terrified enough as they thought Tom was a psychopath. The snake who had asked for directions was attempting to keep up with them, still unnoticed by the other two children.

"Excuse me... Excuse me son!" Tom turned and shot a look at the snake, worried the other children would notice it. "I would like to make a deal then." The snake sighed.

Tom slowed his pace, silently letting the snake catch up.

"I will direct you to a cave that is sure to terrorize those children, and in exchange you direct me back to the beach."

Tom stopped. Considering he didn't have anything better to terrorize them with then the rocky edge of the sea, this sounded perfectly reasonable to him. He turned towards Amy and Dennis, "The beach is over that way, right?" he asked, pointing. They both nodded.

"Thank you," said the snake, "There is a cave over that way. There should be a path but only a wizard, or perhaps an expert rock climber, will be able to get people through it. Once you get to the end of the path you swim straight across the sea. You should end up in a cave. Farwell." bid the snake as he slithered in the direction of the beach.

Tom had pretended to be considering something as the snake gave his directions. "Well if the beach is that way, then we should be heading over here..." he said, heading to where the snake had gestured. "I know you'll just love this! It's amazing!"


Once again Tom Riddle sat all alone in the back corner of the bus. They were heading back early after Amy, Dennis, and Tom had reappeared at the beach after a few hours. The rest of the orphanage had noticed they were gone and had started looking, mind you no one had seemed all that concerned for Tom's sake.

Billy Stubb had noticed them coming and ran over. "Get away from them!" he said, shoving Tom away from his friends. "Did he do anything to you?" Billy had been wary of Tom ever since the incident with his rabbit. He knew Tom couldn't have been anywhere near it, but who else could have done that. So when Tom had disappeared with two of the other orphanage kids Billy had suspected the worst.

"I haven't done anything, Billy." Tom said as he walked off, smiling slightly.

He was even somewhat surprised to see them all come back alive and not visibly scarred. Dennis and Amy were shivering. Amy started to cry while Dennis stood there not knowing what to do. "H-He took us to a cave." Amy sniffed.

And that was all they got out of any of them. Ms Cole had decided to quit while they were ahead and immediately packed everyone back into the bus.

Tom, all alone in his corner, had no idea what he had done to get the three of them through that path in the rocks. But it had worked and all of the other children were now simply terrified of him. And to Tom that was all that mattered.

He thought back to the snake, Parseltounge he had called it. The snake language. Tom couldn't suppress a giggle thinking of it. He could talk to snakes and make things happen. He was practically magic. Before he knew it, his giggle had escalated to shrieks of laughter.

Ms Cole closed her eyes and prayed to God that he hadn't somehow managed to do anything else in the ten minutes since they had been on the bus. The kids stared at him, and a million whispers erupted. One of the younger children, who happened to be particularly jumpy, fell off of his seat with his teddy bear and into the isle. He quickly scrambled back up and out of Tom's line of sight. Amy and Dennis just shivered.


A/N - Wanted the ending to be funnier but oh well. Hey look, I'm alive! (Disclaimer on homepage)
Title from the song Hey Hey by Superchick.