She should have noticed it sooner.
It was so blatantly obvious, Toph felt like a fool that it had caught her off guard, and Toph hated feeling stupid.
Her parents had done that enough when she was younger, insisting that she was too delicate, too fragile, too... worthless with her 'handicap' to possibly be useful.
Her father used to say, "Please excuse my daughter for not coming to greet you. She's blind you see." And the nameless guest would ho and hum, offering their condolences and say that they were sorry. For what? Toph didn't need the words to know that she was a burden to her parents. Even a blind son would have been better then a blind girl, at least their son could carry on the family name. The only thing a daughter could achieve would be to become an obedient wife and bear children, but she could hardly do that in her parent's eyes.
Ironically, Toph felt as if this had blindsided her, something that she was not used to despite her non-seeing eyes. She was Toph, bratty, obnoxious and cocky. But right now, Toph felt two inches tall, and panicky. This was something that she was not used to, and she didn't want her façade to crack in front of everyone. Her entire world was crashing down piece by piece with every word.
"What do you mean?" Toph repeated numbly, staring at the group that had become her family over the last couple of years. These were the people that had saved her from her gilded cage, showed her things that she'd never have been able to see around the world. She'd fought so many battles beside them and would willingly die for them and now...
Why hadn't she seen this coming? Toph wanted to bang her head against the wall; she'd never felt so panicky, like she was drowning because she could scarcely comprehend what was happening. She felt so stupid. She'd been an idiotic little girl believing that their odd family could stay this way forever. She'd been an idiot to think that they wouldn't abandon her.
"Well, Katara and I want to go restore the air temples and find whatever we can to help learn about the entire air nomad culture." Aang explained slowly, as if he sensed that he was on thin ice. Sokka, Katara, Zuko, Aang and Suki were sitting across from her, and Toph had a bad feeling from the moment they had asked to talk to her.
Toph stared at Aang, but said nothing. Instead she turned to Zuko.
"And when were you planning on telling me that you were leaving?" The newly crowned fire lord looked aghast, she knew that he'd been avoiding telling her. Sometimes her friends seemed to forget about the fact that because she was blind, her other senses were heightened. Zuko had been planning on leaving the next day, because he had matters to attend to in regards to getting his nation back on its feet. Toph had overheard him telling Aang and Sokka, but she'd been waiting for him to tell her. But he hadn't.
"Toph I-" Zuko began, but she didn't even wait for him to finish. She stood up abruptly; she could feel her friends watching her warily.
She should have realized it sooner.
Their little family had paired off, and it had often left her the odd one out.
Sokka and Suki were planning on returning to the Southern Water Tribe before maybe settling down in Kyoshi to start their life together. They were so in love, and Toph had been happy for them despite her crush on Sokka before. After seeing how they loved each other, she'd forced herself to squash any feelings towards Sokka other than that of a sisterly kind of love. Suki was also a very nice girl, and Toph admired her skills despite not having any bending.
Mai had already left a few days ago to return to the fire nation to talk to her parents. They'd been so worried to have not heard from her since she'd been tossed in the Boiling Rock Prison for betraying Azula. In a way, Toph had envied Mai for being able to return to her overbearing parents so easily.
Zuko was planning to return to his palace in order to start rebuilding his nation, and the trust that had been broken. The hundred-year war would take a lot of time to repair the damage that had been done. He was leaving the next day, but Toph knew that they'd been afraid to tell her.
Aang and Katara, as Toph interpreted it, wanted alone time. Meaning that there was no place for her with any of them. She was once again the odd one out.
"Toph, you could come with us-" Aang offered immediately, but Toph just glared flat out, balling her fists. She knew he wouldn't actually want her there; after all, he and Katara were just beginning a relationship.
"You were just going to abandon me?" She asked, her voice trembling with anger as she fought to keep what remained of her temper in check.
"Toph, that isn't what we're saying, it's just time to move on. We all have responsibilities..." Katara explained imploringly. Toph growled and turned away.
"Right. That's why you waited until the day before you, Aang and the newlyweds over there are leaving? And you didn't even have the guts to tell me princess." Toph snapped at Zuko, who looked down at his feet guiltily.
"Toph we just didn't want to hurt your feelings." Sokka stepped in, actually being serious. The days following the end of the war had been nothing but fun and games, but now reality was catching up to Toph whether she liked it or not.
"So what were you guys planning to do exactly? Drop me off on the way conveniently with some kind of sop story that I should make up with my parents?" She demanded angrily, her knuckles having turned white from how hard she'd been clenching her small fists.
"Toph, you can't keep running away from your problems." Katara pleaded, but it was the wrong thing to say.
"I thought we were a family!" Toph shouted suddenly, her temper having boiled over now. Rage like nothing she had ever experienced was coursing through her small body, fueling every angry word she spat out. Words that she knew she would regret. But right now, Toph could care less because Katara's words had really struck home. Maybe she was running from her problems, but it's not like she hadn't tried explaining it to them. However nowadays they were all so busy and their minds were elsewhere. Toph thought she could have at least told Katara one of the main reasons why she didn't want to go back to her parents, but the water tribe girl hadn't listened.
Toph had told Katara she didn't want to go back because not only would her parents treat her like a life sized doll, but they would also attempt to marry her off to someone she did not love. She was much too young for marriage anyways, but her parents would arrange it. Katara had said that was nonsense, and they would respect her since she was a war hero now. Too bad Katara didn't know her parents.
If anything, it would get worse, much worse. Her mother and father would have more suitors willing to marry a famous hero, who happened to be close friends with many influential people, not to mention with the Bei Fong name and fortune.
Why did it seem like she knew all of her friends inside and out, but yet… They didn't seem to know what she was thinking at any time. It hurt her to realize it, but all she would ever be in their eyes was Toph—bratty, selfish and arrogant. That's all she was, and all that they would ever believe, or want to believe. Maybe it was just easier for them to not dig any deeper. Katara knew why she'd acted like such a 'wild child', but they hadn't gone past the walls she'd erected.
"Toph we are a family!" Aang insisted, but it fell upon deaf ears because Toph wasn't done yet. Her thoughts had led her to far too many conclusions and realizations.
"Yeah? Well families don't exclude people or keep secrets from each other!" She snapped, backing up against the wall, as she felt so livid, she just wanted to punch something. The urge was so tempting, but she couldn't just deck the Avatar, or the Fire Lord for that matter.
Toph knew that she was being selfish, but that's just how she was. That's how they saw her, and if they wanted selfish—she'd sure as anything give them what they expected. The way that she saw it was that her supposed friends were just abandoning her. Her filmy eyes widened with a sudden realization.
She was just a burden now! No doubt they hadn't wanted to tell her, they'd probably been trying to see who would take her off their hands when they'd come to the conclusion that she should just go home. Save them all the trouble.
Toph's anger seemed to slowly diffuse as she lowered her head, she could feel hot tears prick at her sightless eyes. Her anger had been replaced with nothing but sadness.
They were her friends, but she felt so stupid for believing that their adventures would never end, that they would always be together as the Boomerang Squad. That she'd always be mothered by Katara and subject to some girl talk with both Suki and Katara. Toph had somehow deceived herself into thinking that Sokka would always be around to crack his cheesy meat jokes, and Zuko with his awkward attempts at making humor. She'd managed to convince herself that Aang would also be there, as one of her best friends, and that she'd always feel his feather light footsteps.
Toph lied to herself when she'd believed that they'd always be there.
She heard a sharp intake of air, and she knew that her supposed friends were shocked to see her cry. It was not often that she had showed them her tears, and especially not in front of the entire group. The last time she'd cried had been when Sokka and her had almost died on the Fire Nation airships, and she'd been dangling hundreds of feet above the ground.
"I thought…" It was just all so pointless now. "I thought you loved me." Toph glanced up at them all, each of her friends was far too shocked to respond at that moment. It was bad enough that she was crying, but Toph never in a million years would talk about her feelings so openly. It sounded pitiful, even to her ears. Her voice sounded feeble and weak, it trembled, as she'd spoke those words.
"We do love you Toph, it's just… We need to start rebuilding the trust between the nations, and you should go talk to your parents." Aang assured her carefully, he looked confused and concerned for her.
But Toph had become the perfect liar; she decided to erect her walls that had briefly been lowered. It occurred to her what she'd just done, having cried in front of them all. Quickly she wiped furiously at the tears that ran down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry." She muttered, and Katara and Suki hastily ran over to give her a hug, which Toph did not return. Her parents had always lied to her when she was younger, maybe that was the beginning of how she'd developed such skills comparable to Azula's abilities.
"I love you," he mother would say, but somehow Toph had never believed those hollow words when she knew what a burden they saw her as.
"I'm sorry too Toph," Zuko said, looking ashamed and very awkward as he joined their hug session. Or perhaps she'd just developed her capabilities because she'd been expected to be the perfect little doll for her parents. And in front of them—she had been. It had been a meticulous task, to make such a perfect mask for the high society. But she'd perfected it until the day that she'd left.
"Group hug!" Sokka shouted, and charged in, squeezing them all together tightly. Toph didn't laugh along with all of them, but no one really noticed. She'd never been so glad that she was the one who was able to detect lies, and not the other way around. Maybe that was how she'd become so flawless at it. Toph knew not to portray any emotions or features that would give away her lie, like how she often could tell that others were lying, by not only their heartbeat, but also the way their body reacted.
"I'll go see my parents." Toph lied happily, glad that she could fake a smile, and a falsely cheery voice if not for their sake. Zuko suddenly looked doubtful, but Aang, Katara, Sokka and Suki were clapping her on the back and she gave them all a cocky grin despite how her world was crumbling all around her.
Toph vaguely wondered when exactly she'd become so adept at lying, but brushed the thought off. Perhaps she could enjoy one last night before she slipped away. Toph couldn't be around them any more after tonight, and she doubted they would realize she was missing until later. If they didn't want her, she didn't want them either. Until tomorrow, she would keep up her arrogant façade. She would keep teasing Sokka and Katara and punching Aang in the arm. She was wary around Zuko, because only he looked doubtful. She would keep up the mask that she had created for her 'adoptive' family, but it was nowhere near as perfect as the lie that she had created for herself.
Toph wasn't okay. Inside she was numb to anything but her thoughts. She'd wanted so badly for her small family to stay together, she'd lost sight of the true reality. Toph was so adept at lying; she had managed to deceive herself into thinking that they'd always be her family.
For the last night, Toph would play along with her most flawless lie that she'd ever crafted.
xxxxxXxxxxx
So this just kind of popped into my head, it really kind of bothered me at the end of the series (although it was entirely fantastic) that Toph did not really get an ending conclusion. Did she ever see her parents? Anyways! This was more of an angsty piece, and I'm not quite used to the whole "angst" stuff, but I doubt that Toph is always just awesome and cocky. Hopefully you somewhat enjoyed :)