They keep telling me to accept that you're gone. I keep hearing that you're never coming back. They keep telling me to move on from this. That I need to find someone else and let the memory disappear and become at peace with the other lost souls. Yoou know how stubborn I am, though.
Here's the problem: I don't really think you're gone. I can still feel the silhouettes of your fingers, clutching my hand so tenderly. I can still feel the ghost of your touch dragging soft lines through my hair. Sometimes, I even hear your gentle, fading words whisper to me. And sometimes, there's an echo of bow being pulled across the strings of a violin, haunting and melancholy, and I swear it has to be you, standing there tall and proud with your cloak billowing in the gentle wind and the shape of your face glowing in the pale moonlight.
Maybe I'm just desperate. Or crazy. That's what everyone else seems to think. They seem intent on convincing me that you did in fact die. That you're deep underground with your soul dancing in the stars, not humming soft lullabies to me as I sleep. They want me to forget that you ever existed. To erase you altogether. But they don't quite understand, do they? You know how stupid people can be, right?
Maybe they're okay with you leaving. Maybe they're completely content to forget about you. And they want me to follow in the footsteps of their twisted crowd, which will lead me down a path away from you. They want me to stop saying that I see your indent on my bed. They want me to forget everything about you, you madman.
But I want all the beautiful things I remember about you to stay. I would perfectly happy to black out that one gruesome thing and keep the rest, and it will all be okay. I need all the wonderful things to stay though, so that they can recreate themselves as memories each night, and continue to be the only thing keeping you from fading altogether. So I don't need to hear that I should leave those memories behind, because they are what keeps me from also disappearing altogether. They can't deny me the flicker of your smile in the pale moonlight.