Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Grey's Anatomy.

A/N: Hi all :) This is going to be my first Grey's fic that's not a one-shot, so it will be an interesting experience! I have had this idea for awhile and have finally decide to act upon it and begin to write. This chapter is much shorter than most in the future will be. This is more of a tester...and I would really appreciate your feedback! Please take a moment to send me a review and let me know what you liked, what you didn't like, and if you think I should continue. Thanks!!

Standing on Unsteady Ground

Rating: M for angst and adult content in later chapters

**Warning** This fic contains spoilers about season 6, concerning Izzie and George. If you don't want to know who lives and/or dies, please don't continue reading!

Character death.

The bed was warm and comforting around Meredith's body as she awoke. The room was dark and Derek's spot next to her was empty. She rolled over and looked at the clock: 3:22 AM. She covered her eyes and laid back down, her mind racing. That's when it all started to come back to her. 007. George. Running. Crying for anyone's help. Slow motion. Coding. Izzie. Tears. She jolted upright again and rubbed her eyes. She remembered now. Being at the hospital and shuffling back and forth between George and Izzie's rooms anxiously, until Derek finally implored her to go home at just after 2 am. She had admitted to herself that she was awfully tired, but now, after only an hour of sleep, her body once again felt wired, anxiety coursing through her veins and taking the place of her blood.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and got to her feet, stumbling through the dark until she reached the door. As she peered out, she could see a faint light coming from downstairs, and she quickly followed it to it's source in Derek's small make-shift office. He sat hunched over his desk, staring blankly at his computer screen. He only looked up at her once she was only a few feet away.

"Mer," His voice was tired and raw, "Why are you up? You have to get some sleep." She shook her head. He looked awful.

"I can't sleep. When did you get home?" He sighed and leaned back in his chair, putting his hands over his face.

"A few minutes ago. The chief made me leave. Said I needed sleep. What does sleep matter? Doesn't he know that they need me there? This isn't the time to send me home. Seattle Grace is in crisis." He looked defeated and weary as he dropped his hands and looked up at her. She made her way over to him and sat down in his lap, snuggling her face against his chest and breathing him in, not knowing how else to calm him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"They'll be okay." She whispered, without lifting her head. "You're a brilliant doctor, as is Owen and everyone else who was with them tonight. They're going to be fine. They'll wake up." The confidence in her voice most certainly wasn't overwhelming, but it was there. Pulled her closer.

"Let's go to bed." Even though Meredith felt far from tired, she didn't object. She climbed off of his lap and reached out her hand for him, which he took as he stood. They walked in silence up the stairs and fell into bed without a word. Meredith snuggled up against Derek's body, resting her head on his shoulder. They laid there for a minute, and she was about to say something when his breathing deepened. He was asleep. Despite herself, she closed her eyes, and within moments, the woman who thought that she wasn't at all tired, drifted off into a deep sleep.

Three hours later, Meredith was awoken by the sound of Derek moving quickly around the room. He bumped the closet doors loudly as he grabbed his things and cursed loudly when he tripped over Meredith's shoes. She rolled over and looked at him.

"What are you doing?" She asked. And then she saw the look on his face. His eyes were crazed, his hair wild as he ran around the room. She felt the panic creep back into her system. "Derek, what's going on?" She quickly jumped out of bed and ran over to him.

"I just got paged 911. I have to go to the hospital." She felt as though her heart had stopped.

"I'm coming." Derek didn't protest. She put her hair into a haphazard bun, and grabbed her things, running out the door after him.

When they arrived and reached their floor, the chaos was palpable. Nurses and doctors swirled around them and Derek rushed off, leaving Meredith to find her bearings. She stepped forward trying to make way to Izzie's room as her confidence drained. She took a few more steps before she felt full blown panic set in, and she just knew. She could feel it in her bones as she tried to get to George's room, bypassing Izzie's as everything seemed to be in slow motion for the second time in twenty-four hours. As she got to the doorway, she wasn't surprised to hear the steady tone of no heart beat. Everything seemed so loud and yet so far away as she heard Owen call time of death. He pulled his scrub cap off and looked at the floor.

Before she knew what was happening, she was on the ground with legs of jelly and knees that had buckled. Her breathing came quickly as she began to hyperventilate, well aware that many sets of eyes were on her, but without the ability to care. She heard the sound of a woman yelling and thought for a moment that she wished the woman would just shut up and leave her alone before she realized that the voice was her own. And then she felt strong arms lifting her up and carrying her away as she thought frantically that she couldn't leave George. She tried to struggle and get back to his room, but it was of no use as the tears began to fall and her body went limp.

She looked up to see that it was Derek who held her, and she wanted to tell him to put her down but couldn't find the words. She wanted to go back to George's room. She wanted to go home. She wanted to get in her car and drive far away. She wanted to disappear. She wanted to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time and the feeling overwhelmed her.

He carried her into an on-call room and she felt the hard mattress of a bunk bed as he laid her down and sat next to her, his head in his hands. She curled up on her side as a new bout of sobs overtook her. She felt Derek's hand on her arm and she looked up, wanting to ask him to hold her, but she was struck silent by the tears streaming down his face.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review!!