Needs

by shedoc

Everyone has them

1. Needs

Singing I don't own them Pet Fly does do dah do dah, I don't own them no money

made oh the do dah day

My first slash attempt - please be patient. Some of this may be anatomically

incorrect (but in a good way)!

Um, lets see - bottom Jim, Simon squicks, alternate thesis, no plot, bad guys

with bombs. Supposed to be a replacement for TSbyBS, set at about that time.

Chapter One - In which a need is identified.

Upon serious reflection, the whole damn year had pretty much sucked. First the

man had actually drowned, as near as anyone could figure he'd been dead at least

twenty minutes - maybe longer. Then he'd dragged himself out of hospital to New

Mexico, following his stubborn and ungrateful son-of-a-bitch partner who'd

pretty much betrayed him by trying to suck out his killer's tonsils - and not in

a cannibalistic kind of way.

For a bit of variety they'd spent the year arguing on and off - about anything

and everything. He'd pretty much acted as the convenient target for every hissy

fit, wild hair and bad mood that had loomed each day. Their friends were

starting to wonder why they still worked together at all when all they seemed to

do was fight. Despite all the pushing away and emotional pain being dished out

he just hung in there - maybe in silence, maybe yelling at the top of his lungs,

sometimes from a distance. He just hung on.

Jim Ellison wondered to himself why the hell Blair Sandburg bothered. What in

the name of God's green apples kept Blair Sandburg, doctoral candidate, police

observer, Shaman to the Great City and Guide extraordinaire hanging on to Jim

Ellison - his particular cross to bear?

Take today for example. They were nearing the completion date of the thesis.

Blair wouldn't let him anywhere near it - all notes were encrypted - even the

handwritten stuff. The files were password protected on his computer and he

locked away any audio or visual records he made in an old lock box. Blair was in

the final revisions and therefore stressed to the max. In addition to this he

was also pulling shifts at the station with Jim, working at the Uni and Guiding

at the drop of a hat.

Time was a precious commodity for the young man right now, and any delay in his

schedule came out of his sleep allotment - a tiny four hours a night, plus

whatever nap time he could grab during the day. Blair had timed his schedule to

the last possible minute, even allowing for the flexible nature of police work

and Jim's needs as a Sentinel.

So the young man got up earlier than usual in order to start his day - quick ten

minutes in the bathroom, then prepare breakfast (leaving things ready for Jim)

and then out the door to the Uni. He worked there for a few hours, around his

class schedule and campus responsibilities, then came in to the station to work

with Jim, then home to chores - usually laundry or cooking lately, anything else

was too time consuming - followed by more Uni work and bed at two am. Then he'd

be up by six to start all over again. And despite the time spent at the station

together or the time at home in the evening, Jim was beginning to feel

invisible.

Today, however, Jim had gotten up first - and was in the bathroom when Blair

should have been, having already finished the last of their food; it was Jim's

turn to do the shopping and he hadn't. A part of Jim wanted to start a fight -

to get Blair good and mad at him, to get Blair to just see him; and childish as

it seemed this was the only way Jim knew how.

Blair had merely brushed past him into the bathroom and then hurried out the

door to Uni without a word, breaking Jim's heart. Because Blair hadn't seen

anything - hadn't seen that Jim needed him, but didn't know how or why.

A need that was slowly tearing Jim apart - because one of the things Jim hated

most was to be needy or dependent on another person - for anything.

0o0o0o0

Blair ignored his stomach as it growled at him and concentrated on parking the

Volvo carefully along the curb. Construction around the precinct - and some

much-needed refurbishment for the PD as well - had made parking a premium at the

moment. He carefully displayed the parking permit that Simon had issued him -

growling something about not wanting to have to fix any tickets, and pulled his

bag off the passenger seat before getting out and locking the car.

Jim's little stunt this morning had meant Blair had to skip a decent meal. He

couldn't figure out what was going on at home. In the field, as a unit they were

pretty solid. Jim just didn't seem to want him around at any other time. True,

Blair wasn't around much at any other time. The thesis was heating up - in fact

he'd defend it in two weeks time.

Wondering if things would be better once the thesis was gone and Blair could

apply for his dream job - full time consultant to the PD, assigned to Major

Crimes; the overworked man paid for a hotdog from a street vendor and inhaled it

on the lift up to the bull pen.

As he chewed and swallowed, Blair wondered if he'd ever have he courage to tell

Jim the topic of the thesis he'd be defending. Jim had been oddly demanding of

late - wanting attention, but not his presence. If the detective found out that

Blair had scrapped the Sentinel thesis after Jim had blown up over the

introductory chapter...

Deciding that Jim would probably react badly to the change in thesis, Blair

sighed and squared his shoulders. He scrubbed a hand over his face to make sure

there was no food lingering and decided to just tough it out. Three weeks from

now he'd either be a doctor or a failure. Time enough then for Jim to discover

what he'd done.

Dropping his rubbish in the trash, Blair pushed the doors to Major Crimes open

and slid into place next to Jim, tucking his bag out of the way and smiling at

his Sentinel.

"Hey Jim," Blair looked over at the file open on the desk, "That the Pendergast

file?"

The Guide missed the cataloging sweep of his Sentinel and the wince that

announced his recent meal had been detected. Making a decision - namely 'feed

the Guide' - Jim snapped the file shut and got up, pulling his friend with him.

Hell, he'd even pay - a sort of apology for this morning.

"Yeah it is, but we need to eat first. C'mon Chief, let's go," he urged the

other man up from his chair.

"Sandburg! My office!" Simon's voice cut through the usual dull roar that was

Major Crimes in full flight and Blair turned towards the door automatically,

with Jim a step behind. Simon was still in the doorway and he glared at his

detective with impunity.

"How many Sandburg's are there in this office?" Simon growled, "Unless you've

changed your name Ellison, you can stay out here. And no listening either!"

Ignoring Jim's shocked look; Simon ushered his department observer inside and

shut the door firmly. Blair had backed Simon up with a nod, so Jim was forced to

return to his desk and shuffle files uneasily until Blair came out. Normally one

or more of his colleagues would have made some joke about 'Sandburg the trouble

magnet', but the look on the former Ranger's face was more than enough to

discourage his fellow detectives.

"What was that about?" Jim asked when Blair emerged ten minutes later. He looked

ok, and his vitals...hell they were as messed up as they had been consistently

for the last few weeks - exhaustion, malnourishment and stress taking their toll

on his Guide. Remembering that the original plan had been to get some food into

both of them Jim got up and led the way to the break room, pulling out change

for sandwiches and soda's for them both.

"Nothing, really," Blair's voice was tired, "Simon had some questions about my

observer status. It's coming up for review."

He accepted the egg and mayonnaise roll Jim handed him and sat down. Jim bit

back on his desire to swear. The last thing Blair needed right now was to fight

for his right to be with Jim at work. However, his friends had plainly decided

to exclude him from their discussion. He wasn't needed there either. Jim sighed

and sat down opposite his friend, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

Maybe he could find a penguin colony to protect from poachers or something. Surely someone must need a balding Sentinel somewhere. Perhaps he should place

an ad.

0o0o0o0

After a week of strained silences, sudden blow-ups and occasional harmony Jim

had had enough. He wanted to resolve the whole mess - to finally sit his partner

down and just tell him that Jim needed him. Maybe the Shaman would know what it

was Jim needed and the empty feeling that was consuming the Sentinel would go

away.

Jim had been rostered off for the weekend, Blair apparently hadn't. He continued

to get up early and disappear off to Uni - even though there were no classes on

the weekend. Jim was left to clean the loft mercilessly, shop until the

cupboards bulged with food and wrestle with the hollow space where his Guide,

Shaman and best friend in the whole damn world should be.

He knew that he loved his friend - that he was closer to Blair than he'd ever

been to his wife or any of his lovers. He knew that Blair was close to him -

they confided in each other, told stories about wild teenage years and shared

hopes and dreams. Blair knew Jim better than anyone, and Jim liked to think it

went both ways. They were both deeply private men - for all his talking, Blair

rarely told you much about himself that was personal. He had a way of focusing

on you and the moment; something that normally filled Jim's wants and needs.

Jim knew that Blair was beautiful - even sexy. He'd smelt his Guide after sex -

usually when the man had come home from a date and was on his way to shower and

dispose of his clothes - and found the smell agreeable. It had given the

Sentinel a warm ache of arousal - nothing urgent, just a pleasant burn that let

him know he was alive. Blair was a sexually active man, who didn't seem to

discriminate between men and women. Jim had been able to identify one or two

scents that frequently accompanied his Guide's scent after sex and realized that

Blair had several - for lack of a better term - fuck buddies of both sex that he

spent time with regularly. Jim knew that if he showed an interest, Blair would

probably accommodate him in bed, but Jim didn't want that. He couldn't be casual

about sex with his roommate - any step they took in that direction would change

things forever.

Waking as Blair left the loft quietly the next morning, Jim pondered that

thought again. Was that what he wanted from Blair? Did he need the physical

intimacy that love and sex combined would give them?

They already lived together. When things were going well the two men touched

each other often. Even at night when they were both off duty they shared a

common space together - Blair reading or working on the couch with Jim nearby,

also reading or watching TV. With a start, Jim realized the touches were also

fairly intimate - like lovers they touched hands, cheeks, necks. Jim thought

nothing of dropping an arm around Blair's shoulder in public, and would often

find one winding around his waist in reply. At a crime scene, Blair stroked or

rubbed Jim on the back, the arm or the shoulder. They sat very close at the

station, thighs brushing every now and then, hands touching. Jim even hugged

Blair from time to time - in front of colleagues too on occasion.

Warmth pooled in Jim's groin as he catalogued all the touches he shared with his

Guide. Absently, he reached down to his boxers and rubbed the heel of his palm

into his groin, massaging the muscles lazily, feeling his cock stir in reaction.

Using his senses he called up his memories of Blair's scent after sex and images

of his friend's face and body. Dialing up touch he recalled all the hugs, the

brushes of thigh and hands they'd shared as he rubbed the material of his boxers

over his hard on. His free hand stroked and pinched at his nipples, sending

little spurts of sensation straight to his groin. Jim added taste - all the

shared beers and coffee cups combined with the brushes of his lips over a

fevered brow or cool hand. Slipping a hand into his boxers Jim gripped his

swollen cock and squeezed. His skin was buzzing in arousal, and he groaned

softly as waves of pleasure roiled through his gut. Letting go long enough to

lick his palm, Jim began to pump and squeeze his cock, feeling his balls tighten

as Blair's scent, taste and touch surrounded him. His face danced behind Jim's

eyes, the remembered soft croon of his voice teased Jim's ears, and his name was

on Jim's lips as he came.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Two - In which Jim buys a clue.

"We need to talk," Jim's words greeted Blair as the young man dropped his keys

in the basket. Worry clenched Blair's gut for a moment and his heart tripped

over its rhythm before Blair took a deep breath and nodded.

"Sure, let me put this away," his voice was steady and he headed into his room.

He took a few minutes to take off his shoes and jacket, pull his hair back and

generally calm his body. He'd meant to tell Jim that this was the big week - he

would start defending the thesis to his committee this week. Blair bit his lip

for a moment - praying that Jim wasn't about to kick him out or anything. He

couldn't take the stress at the moment and emotionally it would kill him.

There was a beer waiting on the table and his usual corner of the couch had a

cushion propped invitingly. Jim was sitting squarely, rolling his own bottle of

beer in his palms nervously. Blair dropped a hand on his friend's shoulder on

the way past and felt some of the tension drain away. Sitting down and

retrieving his own bottle Blair twisted to face his friend.

"I'm sorry about this week," Jim decided to get it out of the way, "I've been

pretty unbearable."

"Not really," the demur was quiet; "I'm not Joe Cool at the moment either."

"Why not?" Jim surprised himself, "Is something wrong? Can I help?"

As the words left his mouth Jim cursed himself for a fool and coward - avoiding

the issue and the apology was no way to tell Blair about his needs. Blair

grinned at him - sometimes it was like he read Jim's mind - and took a sip of

the beer.

"I defend the thesis this week," Blair said it simply, "On Friday I'll either be

a doctor and consultant to the PD based in Major Crimes or a bum looking for

work."

Jim's stomach twisted and cramped, his hands shook and adrenaline roared through

his system. It took all of a second for him to blow his cool.

"What?" he yelled, jumping up, "You can't! I haven't read it yet! Dammit,

Sandburg that was the deal!"

"Jim! Jim!" Blair jumped up too, yelling just as loudly, "It's not the original

thesis!"

That stunned the enraged man into silence. In the beginning the agreement had

been that Jim would have final approval on the thesis before Blair submitted it

to the University. It was a way to fulfill Jim's need to stay in control of what

was said about him and to protect his own identity. Blair had never tried to

change that aspect of their deal, though he pushed the envelope on just about

everything else. The Guide pushed his Sentinel back on the couch and sat on the

coffee table opposite him.

"After you read the first chapter of the Sentinel thesis..." Blair trailed off

and looked to the side, organizing his thoughts, "You told me to destroy it,

remember? That you'd never let me publish it. So when I got home I read it

through again...you were right, Jim. It was personal stuff, and the later data

would be almost impossible to disguise. I couldn't see any way to publish it

without risking exposing you. So I went to the committee and told them that my

subject had withdrawn his waiver. I sold them on the idea of the backup thesis

we invented for Simon and that I later researched to maintain our cover."

"And all the tests?" Jim couldn't quite absorb what Blair was telling him. Had

Blair stopped seeing Jim a long time ago and Jim hadn't realized?

"I'll never finish the Sentinel thesis, Jim. It will truly take me a lifetime to

help you discover all you can do. The tests give me enough data to suggest

training directions and head off possible problems. It's probably something I'll

never get to publish," there was no sadness or disappointment in Blair's voice.

Jim's senses only found sincerity in his Guide's body, overlaid with exhaustion.

"But you said it was your brass ring," the comment slipped out without Jim's

conscious thought. Blair's lips twisted into a smile and he shrugged.

"I've given it up," he replied softly, "There are more important things now."

Jim sat still as his Guide abandoned his beer and went to bed. He sat for a long

time, pondering what could be so important that Blair would give up his life's

dream and settle for what had to be second prize: a doctorate unconnected to a

Sentinel.

0o0o0o0

With Blair on what Jim privately called thesis time, the morning routine

changed. Jim was the early riser now, showering and preparing breakfast for them

both. They'd eat together and then Jim would make lunch while Blair went through

his daily ablutions. The young man had bought a decent suit, and the dark cloth

only made him more beautiful to Jim.

Blair would take the bag Jim prepared and head off to Uni, leaving Jim to read

the paper before heading to the station. Simon checked in with Jim daily about

the observer's progress, but Jim never had anything to report. Blair came home

dead on his feet and Jim usually fed him and put him straight to bed.

He had not forgotten that Blair had stated that with his doctorate came a job

opportunity at the PD - a paid full time assignment to Major Crimes. For Jim it

was a dream come true - Blair focussed totally on their work, no other

distractions pulling him away or sapping his energy.

Yet Jim wondered if that was what Blair wanted. He loved to learn and he was a

brilliant teacher. At the PD he was often frustrated in his desire to share what

he'd learned with the people around him. At best they put up with his mini

lectures, at worst he was brushed off or ridiculed. As a Ph.D., Blair could gain

full time tenure at the University and access to funds that would allow him to

travel to make further discoveries.

Which brought Jim to the million-dollar question. Why was Blair doing this? Why

was he settling for what seemed to be second place?

As Jim continued to worry at the bone of contention his colleagues noticed his

lapse in concentration. He was absent-minded and frequently deaf to their

questions. Once, even Simon's roar went unanswered - until Rafe balled up a

piece of paper and bounced it off Jim's ear. None of which endeared him to his

boss.

Jim was only completely focussed in the field and at home. Fieldwork demanded

his complete attention - to give less was to get shot - and Blair was at home.

His best friend would stagger in from the committee, absolutely shattered by the

demands of the day to a hot meal that Jim had hurried home to prepare. The suit

would be hung out for airing while Blair washed the day away in the shower, and

then after dinner Jim would pamper Blair with a full body massage that always

put the young man to sleep, and left Jim with an erection to rival the Eiffel

Tower.

Jim would barely make it to the bathroom before he came. Thankfully the younger

man was too exhausted to realize that the massage that soothed him, aroused Jim. The intimate contact with Blair's flesh and scent, not to mention the

appreciative noises Blair made as his muscles relaxed, had an electrifying

affect on Jim's libido. In order to preserve some dignity, Jim always started on

Blair's front, massaging the upper body first, knowing that his Guide's eyes

would be closed by the time Jim made it to his feet. Touches there always

elicited heartfelt moans of approval, which had the Sentinel half hard by the

time his friend rolled onto his stomach. The small room would become heavy with

pheromones as Blair reacted to the sense of peace the massage gave him.

Strong touches to his back, buttocks and thighs made Blair a puddle of jelly,

sighing in pleasure and drifting away to sleep - often mumbling Jim's name once

or twice in gratitude. By then the Sentinel's slacks were tight and rubbing hard

against his weeping erection. Jim would rub himself through the material as he

half staggered to the bathroom, panting hard and trying to stave off the

inevitable orgasm. He would grab Blair's towel and rub it wantonly against his

groin before burying his face in the damp cloth. The extra stimulation as Jim

roughly undid his fly and pulled his cock free was often enough to make him

come, shuddering and moaning in desire as Blair's fresh scent surrounded him.

All this did nothing to resolve his question. Why was Blair settling for what

appeared to be second prize?

0o0o0o0

Friday: D-day for Sentinel and Guide. Today Blair had his final meeting with the

committee and received his results. Jim had privately decided that if Blair was

unsuccessful in achieving his doctorate that the two men would leave for another

city - one with a University where Blair could try again. Still undecided on why

his best friend would settle for less than first, Jim had no qualms about giving

up his job and moving. The simple fact was that the Guide was important and

should be cherished and loved.

Simon was stomping around Major Crimes when Jim arrived, checking with his

people and assigning additional tasks.

"What's going on?" Jim asked Rafe. The junior detective grinned up at his

colleague and rolled his eyes. Hopefully Jim would be able to focus today

despite his partner's deadline - Rafe didn't want anyone to get hurt in the

upcoming task.

"Major bust coming up from Bunko and the Chief has decreed that they can draw

extra men from us," he replied laconically and then shrugged, "Means we get all

the crap duties and they get the high flying stuff."

"Yeah," Jim grumbled and made himself visible to Simon. Sure enough his boss

waved him into the office and closed the door.

"Kid get to Uni ok, Jim?" Simon asked as he poured them both a coffee. In his

own way Simon cared as much about Jim's Guide as Jim did. Their Captain just

didn't advertise it - especially to Sandburg.

"Yeah," Jim nodded, "It's hard to say who's more nervous - him or me."

Simon snorted, handed over Jim's mug and sat down.

"What are you nervous for? It's the kid's future," Simon retorted and Jim

sighed. He put the coffee on Simon's desk and leaned forward to make his point.

"It's our future, Simon. If Blair fails this then we need to leave Cascade. Find

another University and start all over again. Maybe the next one will let him

publish the Sentinel thesis," Jim sat back and waited until Simon had taken in

what he was saying.

"You mean if he goes, you do too? Dammit, Jim, isn't that taking this

responsibility thing a little too far? I mean, I know you want to take care of

the kid, but..."

"Simon, after all this time you still don't understand," Jim sighed and got up

to pace - a habit he'd picked up from Blair.

"I am responsible for him. Just like he's responsible for me. You know how at

the start you and I were discussing this stuff like he could just teach me a few

skills and then walk away? We were wrong. I'll never have control over the

Sentinel - the more I use these senses the more I need to learn. It's a life

long partnership - until death we do part. Even if that weren't the case I'm

just not willing to be separated from him. We're together, Simon. End of story."

"Are you telling me that you and Sandburg..." Simon trailed off, unsure of how

to finish that question. Jim understood at once and looked his boss in the eye.

He knew what he wanted from Blair - it just didn't seem fair to discuss it this

week, and a part of him was still worrying over why Blair stayed. He didn't want

to push his best friend away by declaring his love, and he sure didn't want to

lose his Guide. Simon deserved the truth though - or as much of it as he could

stand. Their boss wasn't comfortable with the Sentinel stuff at the best of

times - this would only add to his burden.

"Not yet," he stressed significantly and Simon nodded, looking down at his

coffee; "Simon? Are we ok?"

"Personally - well I don't really care what you do in the privacy of your own

home, and I like Sandburg too much to be worried about you.

Professionally...I'll have to think it over Jim. I don't know if I can let you

ride along with your life long partner," Simon sighed, "Look, we've got this

raid to organize. I want to finish this discussion though - preferably when the

three of us are toasting my ninetieth birthday."

"You got it Simon," Jim sat back down, wondering why he could be so open with

his boss, but not the man he loved. If only he knew why Blair was staying.

0o0o0o0

Blair yanked at his tie - the one that Jim had given him this morning to wear to

the final meeting - yanking it loose from the perfect knot that he'd put on this

morning. Simon's call had come just at the end of the Chairwoman's speech and

she'd been most surprised when the secretary interrupted them - Blair of course

had switched his phone off.

Whatever had gone wrong with the bust had also affected his Sentinel - and the

Guide was highly agitated as a result. Guilt that he'd left Jim without backup

for a week tore at the young man, as did the knowledge that he'd been ignoring

the warning signals Jim had been flying for the past month.

The thesis had stood between the two men from the beginning - Jim had been

uncomfortable at being put under the microscope and Blair had needed to preserve

some distance between himself and his 'subject'. Any distance he'd achieved had

pretty much fallen by the wayside, as he first liked, then loved the other man. Blair had hoped that with the thesis out of the way, they could move their

relationship forward - if not as lovers at least as the kind of soul mate Blair

had spent his life wishing for.

He knew that Jim was aware of his sexual practices - hell, the Sentinel could

smell it on him whenever he came home. Yet Jim had neither shown approval or

disapproval at Blair's lifestyle - apart from the occasional table leg remark,

and the always to be remembered 'ongoing train wreck that is your love life'.

Swerving expertly through traffic, Blair fished in his inner pocket for the

police observers pass that he'd tucked in there out of habit this morning. Jim

always checked he had his badge, gun, and cuff's on the way out the door - Blair

checked for his pass, phone and bag. It was becoming second nature to him now -

he'd almost gone native.

Blair slowed to a respectable speed and pulled around the corner, slowing even

further as he approached the police line and holding his id out to be checked.

He parked where he was pointed to and then got out, hurrying along the route

Simon had described to him. A few of the cops waved to him as he jogged past,

and Blair returned their greetings briefly. Their colleagues knew that if Blair

were summoned late to a scene then he would not stop to chat, although the

reason why he didn't stop was often far from the truth. Jim's reputation for bad

temper had taken quite a beating since the Sentinel came on line.

"Jim?" Blair called when he spotted Simon. In some ways it was a relief the

other man knew what the detective was capable of - they didn't have to fudge

around him.

"He's right out of it," Simon scowled. Blair nodded and followed the other as he

led the way quickly down a twisted network of pipes to where Jim lay curled in a

tight ball.

"We all got a whiff of this smell - rotten vegetable matter that is starting to

ferment - and Jim went down like a ton of bricks," Simon recapped quietly, "So I

dragged him here and called you."

"Has he moved or said anything at all?" Blair asked quietly and Simon shook his

head. The Captain had tried while waiting for Blair to reach his detective -

every advance had been ignored. Wherever Jim was he was too deep for Simon's

skills to reach.

"Other than to curl up and say your name once he's been absolutely still," he

replied, "He's been pretty distracted this week - I'm sure you know why."

Blair grimaced in guilt and Simon made an embarrassed noise.

"I didn't mean it quite like that Sandburg," he apologized and Blair waved him

off to go and kneel next to Jim. With smell on overdrive, Jim would also taste

things more intensely. Ironically, smell was one of the Sentinel's weaker senses

so when it took over like this their usual coping strategies didn't work.

Blair lifted his friend off the cold floor a little and curled up around him,

circling his shoulders with his arms and resting the closely cropped head on his

stomach. He curved his legs so Jim's back was resting along his thighs and then

reached back to pull the hair tie out. His long curls fell forward like a

curtain, blocking them off from the outside world. He heard Simon leave quietly

and started the usual zone out procedure, combining Jim's sense of hearing and

touch to call his wayward Sentinel home.

As those two senses came on line they'd pull the others with them. This close

together, Blair's familiar scent would block out anything else in the

neighborhood and override the sense memory that was dragging Jim into the zone.

Blair's voice deepened to the loving croon that Jim responded best to and his

hands traced gentle paths over his friend's shoulders. He was rewarded as Jim's

muscles loosened gradually.

0o0o0o0

Jim surfaced slowly, obeying the loving voice's request that he return to the

outside world. Loving hands stroked the tension from his muscles and a

well-loved scent replaced the foul odor that had driven him away from the

outside world.

Jim remembered the question that had been plaguing him all week as he opened his

eyes and gazed up into Blair's face. His Guide was curled around him on the

floor, wearing the good suit that he'd bought for the defense of the thesis. And

the answer that Jim had been seeking all week leapt out at him in glaring

Technicolor, shocking him into blurting it out to his Guide.

"You love me!"

Blair's face glowed gently, and a hand stroked Jim's cheek in a warm caress. Jim

leaned into the touch eagerly, winning a tender smile.

"And you love me," he agreed in the croon that made the Sentinel quiver in

delight, "Jeez, Jim. Is this what's been bothering you all week?"

Jim shivered at the thought that he'd disappointed his Guide and struggled to

make himself clearer.

"Needed you so bad lately...scared to put demands on you...thought I'd drive you

away...didn't realize you were always telling me you loved me...every touch and

smile and action and word and thought and deed and..."

Blair put tender fingers over Jim's lips, stopping the flow of words. He waited

until he was sure that Jim wouldn't babble and then lifted the fingers away,

replacing them with his lips in a warm, chaste kiss. Jim smiled up at him when

the kiss broke, supremely content.

"It's ok, Jim," Blair stroked a finger over his Sentinel's cheek softly and

smiled when he again nuzzled into the touch. His eyes searched Blair's, wanting

to tell him...

"You can tell me," the croon was startling - when had Blair become a mind

reader?

"I want to marry you, I want to be your husband," Jim blurted, "I want to be

your spouse, your lover, your partner, your life mate, your sex toy, your..."

"Beloved," Blair interrupted and leaned down to kiss him again, his hair hiding

them from the rest of the world. Jim made a noise of protest when the kiss broke

and Blair sat up a little.

"Come on, let's get you home," he smiled, "We'll get comfortable and see what

happens."

"Ok," Jim started to move, then shivered and curled back around Blair. A moment

later Simon appeared at the end of the corridor and headed towards them. From

the captain's point of view things hadn't gotten any better.

"How is he, Sandburg?" Simon called quietly, knowing from painful experience not

to raise his voice around Jim during a bad reaction.

"He's just setting the dials," Blair told them both, "I'll have to take him home

to finish this."

"Jim? You in there?" Simon always felt stupid asking this question when the

detective was right in front of him, but a physical presence meant very little

when the man's senses were acting up.

"Answer Simon, Beloved," Blair crooned too low for the other man to hear, "Let's

go home."

"Yeah Simon," Jim straightened, turning to face his boss. Simon's face creased

in concern. Jim was bone white in reaction to the shock his senses had undergone

and fairly dirty from lying on the floor. Blair wasn't much better off in the

dirty clothing department.

"You look terrible," Simon sighed, "Go home. You can start your leave early.

I'll see you on Wednesday."

"Thanks Simon," Jim wobbled to his feet and steadied when Blair's hand lodged in

the small of his back.

"Sandburg? What did the committee say?" Simon's voice was solicitous as they all

walked towards the exit. Blair grinned back over his shoulder at their boss and

then smiled at Jim.

"You can call me Doctor Sandburg," his voice was pleased, "In fact you made them

cut themselves short. They had enough time to tell me I'd succeeded and then I

was out the door. They all hope you're ok, Jim."

"Congratulations!" Simon grinned too, "And I'll call you Doctor Sandburg when

you call me Captain Banks."

"Deal," Blair grinned, opened the door to the truck and watched Jim get in,

"Will the Volvo be ok here?"

"Give me the keys. I'll see it gets to the precinct garage," Simon held out a

hand and then clapped Blair on the shoulder, "Good work, kid. I knew you'd do

it."

Blair grinned and closed the truck door, hurrying around to the other side to

get in and drive them home.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Three - In which the boys fail to get out of bed.

They went straight upstairs. Blair sent Jim up first to change and get into bed,

then followed his partner up after collecting several items and beverages for

them both. Blair also took time to change, walking up with his tray in the nude.

Placing the tray on the bedside table and leaning over to kiss Jim lightly,

Blair picked up a few condoms and lube, stashed them under the pillows where

both men could get to them and then climbed in under the covers.

"Despite all this Jim, we don't have to have sex today. I really just want to

hold you and for you to recover from that zone out," Blair smiled, "Can we

cuddle for a while?"

Jim nodded, sliding over so Blair was on his back and Jim on his side. His head

rested on the other man's chest and he felt warm arms come up to cradle him

close. Blair tugged Jim carefully off balance, making the larger man sprawl

forward on top of him. He wrapped both legs around one of Jim's and sighed

happily.

"Comfortable?" Blair asked belatedly and Jim nodded, his body slowly going lax

in the close embrace. Being this close to Blair's naked body was filling Jim

with a pleasant ache as his cock slowly took an interest in proceedings. Jim

thought about sex with Blair and his cock deflated instantly when he realized

what that might actually entail.

"Blair," Jim sighed, "There's something I have to tell you...and I'm kind of

afraid."

"What are you afraid of?" his love's voice was curious, but overlaid with strong

tones of contentment. He sounded almost sleepy as their bodies warmed the bed

and each other.

"This...kind of cost me my marriage..." Jim confessed to a nipple, "I...can you

hear me out?"

"I can do better than that," Blair replied strongly, sounding much more alert,

"I can listen to you with an open mind and a loving heart."

Jim felt tears start in his eyes and pressed his face to the warm body that

cradled him. Blair's hands stroked his head, neck and shoulders in soothing

cadence and Jim breathed in the living scent of the other man's skin. They

stayed like that for long minutes and then Jim took a steadying breath.

"I don't come from penetration," he blurted, determined to get this said and

done, "I...I just go soft. It's stupid, I have no trouble with oral sex or

anything, but I can't...I tried to hide it from Caroline...it took so much work.

I'd arouse her with my hands and mouth. Get her so close that a touch would send

her over, then...I'd only be able to thrust a couple of times before I went

soft...I used to fake orgasms for her and then take the condom off before she

noticed it was empty."

Blair had tensed at the first words, then relaxed a little. His hands never

faltered in their loving caresses, and his heart rate had settled quickly.

Emboldened by the silence, Jim took a deep breath and finished what he had to

say.

"She made me go to a doctor...he asked how I felt about being penetrated and

I...hardened right there in front of him...he thought I should reconsider my

sexual orientation, or at the very least buy some toys we could play with

together. But she didn't want that - she wanted me to be a normal man. I

just...I don't want to lose you but I can't fake this for you...I love you so

much...I've never been with a man - you're my first. I kept trying with

women...wanted to be normal...But I want this with you - I want it so much..."

"Shh, Beloved," Blair kissed the top of his head, "I understand. You know, in

penetrative sex there is always a top and a bottom. Now, male/female sex

automatically designates the man as the top - let's face it, women just don't

have the ability to penetrate unless they use their fingers or a toy. But in

male/male sex the top position is open to negotiation. Some couples take turns,

but some couples contain a partner that finds one position or the other totally

abhorrent."

Jim moaned in agreement and Blair pressed his lips to the short hair for a

moment, soothing with actions, not words. When the shaking subsided Blair

finished making his point.

"In our marriage, Jim, you have decided that you are the bottom. I make no

secret of the fact that I have prior experience with men, and I enjoy both

roles. But understand me Jim, I love you and am happy to top. Don't ever be

afraid to tell me what you need or want in bed, Beloved. Because I sure will

tell you if we do something I don't like. Promise me you'll do that?"

"Promise," Jim choked, "Marriage?"

"Yep," Blair's voice reeked of satisfaction, "So let's get this honeymoon

started, huh? That reminds me - why are you taking leave? Did you have this

honeymoon planned?"

"The doctorate. We needed time to plan the future - can't do that at work. And

if you needed to start again at a new Uni we needed time to canvass them," Jim

confessed, then started sucking lightly on the nearest nipple. Blair sucked in a

sharp breath and arched lightly from the bed.

"New Uni?" he wouldn't be deterred, "You thought I'd fail it?"

"Thought you'd have trouble from them 'cos you changed subjects. Cover all

bases," Jim switched nipples and smiled at the small sound Blair made, "Do you

mind? I'm trying to make love here."

"Be my guest," Blair gasped and dragged Jim up for a kiss.

0o0o0o0

Their mouths fused together, tongues stroking and exploring as Jim's body

pressed Blair into the mattress. His thigh pressed between his lover's, finding

the slowly filling cock and rubbing against it lightly. Blair raised his own

thigh, returning the favor and making Jim moan into the kiss, his hips thrusting

eagerly. Reaching up under the pillow, Blair grasped the lube and a condom,

smiled and flipped them suddenly, breaking the kiss and shimmying down Jim's

body to lick and kiss his nipples. They stiffened instantly and Blair alternated

his mouth and fingers on the little nubs, careful to avoid sending his sensitive

lover into a zone.

"God!" Jim moaned, "So good!"

Blair suckled gently then blew on the wet nipple, making Jim squirm in reaction

as the hardened nub sent pleasure straight to his groin. Blair repeated the

action and then kissed his way down the chest to Jim's navel, tonguing in and

out of the little hollow, then licking around it and blowing cooler air over the

wet skin. Jim was moaning continuously, his legs spread wide and his hands

tangled in Blair's soft curls; the changes in stimulation keeping him anchored

to the present, despite senses that wanted to simply fall into the pleasure and

never come back out.

"Blair, please!" Jim moaned and Blair chuckled gently, pressed his lips to the

navel one last time and then slowly licked his way down to Jim's cock. Dropping

the lube and condom where he could get to them, Blair twisted his fingers around

Jim's balls, making them into a cock ring. Jim's cock was leaking and swollen,

resting on his belly. Blair started at the root and licked his way to the tip,

laving the crown with gentle touches and making pleased little noises at the

taste. Jim was whimpering above him, his fingers tangled firmly in Blair's hair,

holding on but not directing his lover's movements. Blair's own cock was

drooling in anticipation as Blair lubed a finger and trailed it slowly from

Jim's balls to his anus, rubbing around the pucker gently and pressing against

it.

"Yes!" Jim shrieked, his hips thrusting against Blair. The young man had been

prepared for that reaction and rode it out, "Please Love, more!"

Blair took the tip of Jim's cock in his mouth and suckled lightly, pressing his

finger into Jim's body at the same time. The other man was so dazed with

pleasure he admitted the intruding finger immediately, letting Blair stroke

gently in and out of the needy hole. Jim was making incoherent little noises

now, babbling in reaction to the long desired sensations and sobbing for breath

as pleasure stole all reason and sense. His wide splayed legs twitched against

the mattress as Blair increased the suction to his cock and tugged firmly on his

balls to prevent the other man's orgasm.

Blair added a second finger and took more of Jim's cock into his mouth. Jim's

hips were thrusting up off the bed and then down onto Blair's fingers, rocking

the pleasure addled man between the two sensations. Sealing his lips tightly

around the straining shaft, Blair hummed gently and added a third finger,

rocking into the relaxed passage tenderly and searching for the magic button.

Jim drew his thighs up, letting Blair in further and increasing his thrusts. His

grip on Blair's head was tight and his head was thrashing back and forth on the

pillows. A brush to the prostate had him screaming in delight, and thrusting

eagerly back on the fingers in his ass.

"So full," Jim sobbed, "More!"

Blair lifted his head from Jim's cock, took a deep breath and deep throated his

lover, at the same time massaging his prostate over and over again. He released

his fingers from Jim's balls and swallowed again and again as Jim came with a

howl down his lover's throat.

0o0o0o0

Jim came back to himself slowly. He was lying on his side, one leg bent out in

front, Blair holding him from behind and rocking them both back and forth. Jim

turned his head to look over his shoulder and shifted a little, gasping at the

sensation that flared through his body.

"Blair," Jim sighed in pleasure, recognizing the sensations and eager for more.

Blair was deep in Jim's ass, rocking in and out sweetly; tenderly fucking the

virgin hole. He was panting his desire and trembling with the effort to control

his body, keep the pace slow and tender. He hit Jim's prostate every second or

third strokes, making it feel like he was thrusting directly into Jim's spent

cock.

"Jim," Blair wheezed, "God, you feel so good. So tight."

"Kiss me," Jim moaned, feeling his cock stir and try to rise. It was too soon,

but the desire was there. Blair twisted up on one elbow and kissed him tenderly,

tongue stroking the roof of Jim's mouth. Jim rocked back onto his lover's cock

and Blair broke the kiss with a cry, burying his face in Jim's shoulder as his

hips rocked forward again and again. His breathing became ragged as he tried to

stave off the inevitable. Jim moaned as he felt Blair's cock swell even further

and begin to throb hard. He thrust back harder, enjoying the pleasant burn

spreading through his groin, even though he wouldn't reach orgasm again. The

last one had been too intense, though his cock twitched with each brush of his

prostate. Jim moaned in delight and felt Blair shudder in response, his cock

throbbing wildly as Jim's body squeezed and caressed him.

"Gonna come," Blair sobbed, "Jim...Jim!"

Blair came with a groan, thrusting roughly and shuddering hard before collapsing

to the mattress. He buried his face in Jim's back and panted for breath. Jim

stroked his lover's forearms lightly, reveling in the physical closeness. The

empty sensation that had been nagging him was banished completely; leaving him

filled with Blair's love.

"Thank you," Jim pulled a hand to his lips and kissed it gently, "That was

incredible."

"I'm sorry I couldn't last," Blair whispered and Jim pulled the smaller man's

arms tighter around his body, chuckling as he did.

"After that first time, I couldn't get it up if you tied it to a stick."

"Oh," Blair kissed Jim's back, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"You do that," Jim grunted, then tensed up, "Blair, no!"

Jim moaned in disappointment as Blair's cock slid slowly from his body. Blair's

hands soothed him gently, rubbing his abdomen and easing him onto his back. He

stroked his lover's trembling thighs and then leaned down to press a kiss to the

limp cock.

"Sorry Beloved," Blair pulled off the full condom and leaned over Jim to drop it

in the bin, "Your body can't hold me when I'm soft."

Jim pouted at him, which earned him a deep kiss, then pulled Blair to sprawl

over his lover's body.

"You liked that huh? The feeling of being full?" Blair dropped tiny kisses onto

Jim's face and neck. Jim nodded, playing with the silky curls and relishing the

warm skin pressed to his. Blair settled down on Jim's chest, breathing slowly as

the afterglow carried him towards sleep.

"I love you," Blair mumbled and Jim kissed the curls he was playing with.

"I love you too," he followed his lover into sleep.

0o0o0o0

Blair awoke to the most delicious sensation. His body was warm and relaxed, and

his cock was nestled firmly in something warm and wet. He moaned in delight and

reached down blindly, his fingers encountering Jim's short hair.

His lover was suckling his cock tenderly, burying his nose in Blair's groin and

snuffling through his pubic hair contentedly. Jim was making little purrs and

growls as he explored Blair's groin with his mouth. Without needing to ask Blair

knew that his Sentinel was fully on line, absorbing every aspect of his scent,

texture, and taste, face buried where all three were strongest.

"Yeah, like that," Blair whimpered as Jim nuzzled his balls and sucked on them

lightly. He stroked Jim's head gently, rubbing his fingers through the soft hair

and moaning when the resulting purr traveled through his cock. Jim slurped and

suckled the tingling sacs as Blair spread his legs wantonly and arched up in

response.

Pleasure was radiating from his groin, making his nipples tingle and his skin

shiver. Blair tilted his head back, coming up off the mattress as Jim rubbed his

cheek up and down the length of his cock, the light rasp of his beard catching

on sensitive flesh.

"Suck me Beloved," Blair begged, thrusting his hips up lightly while Jim

returned his face to his groin, scenting him erotically and purring in delight.

The noises were turning Blair on even more - he felt himself harden further and

stroked Jim's head gently, moaning in pleasure when the purrs increased to

growls and nips.

Jim's fingers stroked the creases of Blair's thighs as he pleasured his Guide's

balls again, fondling them with his tongue and lips. He reached up to push one

leg flat and then mounted it, locking his thighs around the leg and humping

gently, rubbing his leaking cock over the warm skin slowly. Blair shifted the

leg so Jim had full contact and he sighed in gratitude, licking the weeping cock

in front of him with long wet rasps.

"Oh!" Blair cried and thrust up, "Please, Beloved!"

Both hands were stroking Jim's head now, his fingers ruffling through the soft

hair and caressing the tips of Jim's ears. Jim pressed his cock to the leg

beneath him and squirmed lightly before taking the tip of his lover's cock in

his mouth and savoring the taste.

"Mmmmmmmm," he purred and felt Blair shudder in reaction, smiling a little and

pressing his tongue to the sensitive spot just below the head. Blair's trapped

leg began flexing against Jim, rubbing the erection pressed against it. Jim

growled and began humping it again, sucking lightly in time to his movements.

Blair's hands never ceased their caress as the young man thrust gently into

Jim's hot, wet mouth. Jim's drooling cock slid along the now slick leg as Blair

flexed it faster and faster. Groaning in delight, Jim sped the frequency of his

thrust and suckling, wanting them to come together. As his groin tightened Blair

found his voice, gasping breathlessly as Jim encouraged him with lips and

tongue.

"So close," Blair moaned, "Gonna come, Jim. Yeah, lover, suck me hard. Oh God,

it's so good. Please Jim, here I come!"

Jim growled and inhaled Blair's cock to the root, the dual sensation sending him

screaming over the edge. Jim swallowed quickly, letting his throat muscles milk

Blair's orgasm from him, moaning as his own orgasm overtook him, his cock

jerking and shooting all over his lover's leg.

He kept suckling until Blair's cock went soft, rolling it on his tongue gently

and licking to make sure he'd milked everything from his Guide; purring and

grumbling in contentment. Blair was gasping for breath above him and stroking

with shaky fingers through his hair. Jim's come dried slowly on Blair's leg, he

had to lift himself off reluctantly to prevent himself sticking to it painfully.

Blair's hands encouraged him to lift up, and the Sentinel wriggled up his

lover's body eagerly, snuggling in for lazy kisses and caresses.

"God, what time is it?" Blair asked hoarsely, "Talk about an alarm clock."

Jim chuckled, his face buried in the crook of Blair's neck, his lover's scent

and silken hair caressing his senses. He twined his fingers in the curls and

then reached his other hand down to grasp the limp cock.

"Shh, he's sleeping," Blair half moaned and Jim snuggled in closer, "Jim, you

with me?"

Jim purred softly and went to sleep.

"I guess not," Blair yawned and followed him.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Four - In which the furniture is rearranged in the loft (eventually).

Jim woke sprawled over his lover, one hand tangled in silky hair and the other

cradling a lax cock. He stirred and lifted his head a little, gazing up into the

sleeping face. At rest, the man looked young and innocent; none of his passion

for life or his incredible intelligence shone through the peaceful face.

Moving carefully, Jim propped his chin on the hand that had been tangled in the

warm curls, drinking in the sight of his husbands peaceful sleep. The chest

beneath his rose and fell in gentle cadence, and the closed eyes flickered

slightly in their rem cycle. Strong arms rested around Jim's waist, a warm

weight that cradled him close to his lover. One leg was tangled with Jim's, his

own cock nudging up against it.

"Mm," Blair sighed and Jim leaned down to kiss him gently on the lips. Blair's

mouth pursed against his lips and he sighed again before opening his eyes and

smiling. He raised his head for a proper kiss, slipping Jim's tongue into his

mouth and stroking it with his own before dropping his head back and licking his

lips.

"Good morning," Blair sighed, "Sleep well?"

"Best sleep in months," Jim replied truthfully, "I could get used to the luxury.

In about eighty years."

Blair laughed, the sensation tickling Jim's skin as well as his ears. He grinned

in delight and pressed closer, stroking his fingers over the cock he still

cradled gently. The laughter turned to a gasp and Blair turned into his

Beloved's body, tipping them both onto their sides, and kissing him eagerly

before leaning back again.

"Not that I mind being woken that way," he kissed Jim's jaw and neck, "But what

was that about last night?"

Jim blushed and buried his face in the crown of the curly head. Last night the

Sentinel in him had woken in a panic, fearing that it had all been one very

erotic dream, and he'd needed the reassurance of Blair's scent to calm down. He'd gotten so turned on by the musky scent in Blair's groin that he'd lost

control and taken his lover while the man slept, unable to wait for him to wake

and give permission.

"You're blushing!" the tone was gently amused, "Beloved!"

"I love it when you call me that," Jim confessed, letting his fingers wander

over the slowly filling cock and the balls below, "And last night...I needed to

know it was all real. I woke up and wanted to be surrounded by your scent and

taste."

Blair pushed up to lean over the top of Jim, his eyes searching his face.

Whatever he saw softened his gaze and he leant down for a slow, passionate kiss.

"Beloved," the tone was vastly content, "Anything you need."

"Would you..." Jim whispered, greatly daring. Carolyn had never been very

receptive of his requests in bed, even suggesting a new position had often

caused an argument. The last twenty-four hours had made Jim wonder why they got

married in the first place - things were so easy with Blair, so difficult with

Carolyn. Blair remained silent, stroking the broad chest he was cradled against.

There was nothing but love in his gaze. Jim took his hand from the cock he was

fondling, putting both arms around Blair and pulling him closer. His own cock

was hard and aching pleasurably at the thought of what he wanted Blair to do.

"Would you take me again?" Jim whispered, "Please lover. I need to feel you in

me."

"Are you sure? So soon after your first time...you must be tender," Blair bit

his lip and watched as Jim's face crumpled in disappointment. He tapped the

chest he was stroking sharply and frowned; "Jim, I mean it. I'd love to take

you, but I don't want to risk hurting you by doing it too soon. We could tear

something."

"I'm not sore," Jim promised and Blair reached a hand over Jim's waist and

trailed it to push a finger along the crack in Jim's ass. Jim moaned and arched

against it in need as the finger found the pucker and stroked around it

carefully. Blair kissed him lightly and rolled onto his back.

"Get the lube, if you're sure this is what you want," he smiled, "Just promise

you'll stop me if I hurt you."

"You won't," Jim said confidently and reached for the tube. He handed it to

Blair who put it to one side and tugged Jim down to sprawl on his chest. One

hand tugged at Jim's thigh, draping it up and over Blair's hip, spreading Jim's

legs open for his lover. Jim's breathing sped up in anticipation and he raised

his head for a kiss. Blair's lush lips parted for him immediately and their

tongues met, stroking and tangling slowly. Blair's hand cradled Jim's head, one

thumb brushing back and forth over the rim of Jim's ear.

0o0o0o0

Jim moaned as a single slippery finger pushed into him, breaching him as he bore

down on the invader eagerly. It sank in deeply and rested inside him, twisting a

little from side to side to spread the lube it was coated with. Jim broke the

kiss to pant for breath, resting his head against Blair's shoulder and quivering

in desire. Blair stroked his head gently, murmuring soft words of love and

praise as Jim stretched slowly around the single finger. He pulled out slowly,

ignoring the sound of protest Jim made and added more lube to his finger. Blair

bit his lip and made sure he was stimulating enough of Jim's other senses to

avoid a zone out as touch demanded more and more of Jim's attention.

"Shh, Beloved, just be patient," Blair crooned and pushed his finger back in. He

waited until Jim was again lying limp against his chest and then slowly pumped

in and out, using his free hand to gentle the body that twitched against him.

Jim was moaning and pushing back eagerly when Blair pulled free, added more lube

and then eased two fingers into the tight passage. Jim shivered and raised his

head for a kiss. The little noises he was making, plus the tightness of the

muscles surrounding Blair's fingers had Blair's cock standing to rigid

attention.

"More, more," Jim moaned, rubbing his cock against the thigh it had been

nudging, "Fill me up, take me now, Blair."

"Soon, Beloved," Blair sighed into the mouth that possessed his and pulled out,

adding more lube and pushing three fingers into Jim's body. He held still as Jim

gasped and froze, his eyes wide; "Too much, Beloved?"

"No!" Jim gasped, "Oh God, so good!"

He began to push himself back against the fingers, and Blair held still, letting

Jim fuck himself at the pace he needed, stretching around the intruding fingers

as he did. The detective had buried his face in Blair's chest and was panting

urgently, interspersed with eager little sounds as he drove himself back on his

husbands fingers over and over again. Blair reached down and teased his cock

with gentle strokes at the same pace Jim was fucking himself.

"Blair! God, please! I need you now!" Jim raised his head, panting wildly and

capturing Blair's mouth in a demanding kiss. Blair returned the pressure of

eager lips and tongue, pulling out gently and reaching for a condom.

"Let me," Jim broke the kiss to gasp, taking the packet from Blair's hand and

scooting down to lick at his lover's leaking cock eagerly before rolling the

rubber on and then smoothing lube over it. Blair pushed Jim onto his back and

then over onto his side, leaning in for another kiss as he urged Jim's leg up

towards his chest. He gripped his Beloved's hip with one hand, lined up against

the eager hole and pushed steadily, using a gentle pressure to overcome the

initial resistance.

"Relax Beloved, let me in," Blair's voice reflected the effort of holding still

as his cock was squeezed hard by Jim in reaction, "Shh, love, I won't hurt you."

Then Jim shuddered and Blair slid further in, all resistance gone as his lover

opened to him eagerly with a sigh of delight. The slow gentle pressure changed

to a gentle rocking of his hips, sliding a little further in each time. Jim's

cock slowly regained it's former hardness and he began to make those eager

little sounds again as Blair rocked further and further in, their bodies

slipping and sliding together as their sweat eased the friction. Blair's arms

came up and wrapped around Jim's torso; Jim held onto his forearms, eagerly

accepting the embrace.

Jim cried out in pleasure as Blair finally came to rest, buried to the hilt in

his ass. For a long moment they lay still, savoring the connection and the

intimacy that came with it; then Jim sighed and pushed his hips backwards into

the man behind him. His Guide moaned softly and started rocking in and out again

- small, tender movements that brushed his prostate and had him sighing in

pleasure.

Blair's breathing sped up - becoming harsh pants for air as he forced himself to

move slowly for Jim. The man in front of him was rapidly becoming boneless with

pleasure as Blair rocked in and out.

"Blair," Jim sighed, "Almost there, baby."

Blair smiled, pressed his lips to the skin in front of him and rocked a little

harder, listening to the grunts and moans Jim made in response. His hips flexed

smoothly, letting him plunge against his Sentinel's prostate with each movement.

Jim began to cry out, his body shivering and contracting around Blair's cock. The big man keened loudly and came, his cock jerking hard as his come spurted

over his belly and chest. Blair tightened his arms and stifled his own cry in

Jim's back, shuddering and shaking through his own orgasm, the intensity leaving

him drowsy and spent. His move to disengage was blocked indignantly by a sated

Jim, and they drifted off to sleep together.

0o0o0o0

Jim woke alone. He leapt up, startled and then relaxed when the sound of Blair's

heartbeat washed over him from downstairs, followed by his voice as he spoke

carefully into the phone.

"...I realize that Simon, but he's in a really deep sleep. I think it would be

better if he woke from that naturally," he was saying as Jim padded down the

stairs, still naked but needing to see the owner of the voice. He was sitting at

the table in the dining area, and pulled the phone away from his ear a little at

Simon's response, then put it back to speak.

"He's still recovering from..."

Jim turned up his hearing and leaned down to nuzzle Blair's ear in greeting. His

Guide was wearing his usual sleepwear, making Jim wonder how long he'd been up.

"Dammit, Sandburg, you were supposed to fix him!" Simon was complaining loudly

and Blair made scissors motions near Jim's groin, grinning evilly as his lover

leapt out of range. That was not the kind of fixing that Simon meant.

"Don't you dare," Jim growled and headed for the coffee brewing in the kitchen.

He was smiling broadly as he got their cups ready and started fishing out the

fixings for a hearty breakfast.

"He's not a car, Simon, and I'm not a mechanic. I can't wave a wand and fix him

- his body needs the downtime to assimilate the experience and then we need to

rebalance his senses again," Blair said patiently, like he had every other time

he got the blame for Jim's senses taking him off work. Simon still tended to see

Blair as a magic Band-Aid at times - something Blair did his best to conceal

from Jim.

"Look, Simon he's just coming down the stairs," Blair got up and raised his

voice to normal conversation level, Jim's ears compensating automatically for

the change, "Here."

Blair handed the phone over and went into the bathroom for Jim's robe, helping

his husband put it on and tying the sash while Jim continued to talk to Simon.

When he would have moved away, Jim's arm snaked around him and pulled him in

close for a hug. Blair leaned his face into Jim's chest and settled in, his own

arms coming up to hold his Sentinel close.

"Sure, I can come in for a couple of hours," Jim was saying in a resigned tone

of voice, "No, I'll be fine. Yeah, Simon, I'm sure. See you in an hour, ok?"

"Work calls, huh," Blair sympathized as Jim turned the handset off, "Want me to

come in with you?"

"Nah, it's just paperwork," Jim snuggled closer and buried his face in curly

hair, "I won't be long. While I'm gone you can get started."

"Started on what?" Blair nuzzled Jim's neck lightly, pressing his lips and teeth

to the skin there at random to feel Jim shiver.

"Moving your stuff upstairs," Jim replied hoarsely, "And organizing the new

office."

"Hmm," Blair pulled back, smiling at his lover, "Why do I think that going to

the station is suddenly the softer option."

"I don't know what you mean," Jim vowed, kissing inviting lips and then

straightening before his body could detour him back to bed, making him late for

the meeting with Simon and the paperwork that would follow.

0o0o0o0

It took longer than Jim and Simon expected. One thing after another came up,

requiring the attention of both men to resolve the administrative side of things

and square it all with the DA. Jim had called home and got the answering machine

- Blair had mentioned errands to run - and then plunged back into it all.

Blair was asleep when Jim got home. His senses had been looking restlessly for

his Guide ever since he turned onto Prospect, and Jim eased the door shut,

toeing off his shoes and hanging up his jacket and gun quietly. Jim paused in

the door to Blair's room, his face frowning a little.

The futon had resumed its couch shape, and Blair's cushions were scattered all

over the seat. The bedding was gone and so were any of Blair's clothes that

usually lurked in piles all over the place. Other than that, the room was

unchanged. Jim stepped in and walked past the desk and bulging bookshelf - both

crammed full of papers books and artifacts. He opened the rickety chest of

drawers Blair had bought on the cheap and discovered that his lover's underwear

had been replaced with still more files and a smattering of CD's, computer

disks, books and VCR tapes. The bedding was folded and placed on the shelf in

the small closet that usually held Blair's sweaters and shirts that didn't need

folding - quite a few. Jim pulled Blair's pillow down and sniffed deeply,

enjoying his lover's scent. Cradling the pillow to his chest he also pulled down

the brightly patterned quilt that Blair folded double and used on his bed.

Unfolded, it would be big enough to cover the queen-sized bed upstairs. Jim had

always liked the bright colors and patterns on the quilt - maybe Blair was

worried his senses would find it too stimulating.

Jim turned and went upstairs. Blair was lying curled up on top of the covers, a

book and his glasses in front of him. Jim smiled, took the pillowcase off the

pillow near Blair's head and slipped it over Blair's pillow before tossing the

now spare pillow over the railing to land on the table. He dropped the quilt

onto the bed and then turned to look through his drawers. Blair had crammed all

his stuff into the bottom drawer, leaving the top three drawers full of Jim's

stuff. Jim sighed, emptied the top and third drawer, then redistributed Blair's

underwear between them, rearranging his own stuff back into neatness. Then he

did the same in the closet. With Carolyn they'd chosen 'sides' and hung their

gear accordingly. After the divorce, Jim had spread his clothes out, kind of

reclaiming his territory. Blair had stuffed everything into a corner. Jim moved

things around, dividing the closet into half again, happily accommodating the

extra clothes, and even refolding the tangled sweaters to make sure they didn't

wrinkle. Shaking his head at the heavy sleeper on the bed, Jim looked around

their bedroom again, trying to spot what else had to be done to make Blair an

equal inhabitant.

A glance in the bedside drawers next to Blair confirmed his lover hadn't added

or disturbed anything there and Jim emptied the junk that had accumulated out,

carrying it downstairs and dropping it onto the futon in the new office. He

emptied Blair's drawers, put his junk into them, then carried it all upstairs -

a jumble of books, herbal remedies, lube and condoms, Blair's disc player and

CD's, and a few magazines.

Jim put everything except the magazines away and then crawled on the bed next to

his partner, sitting against the railing to open the glossy mag's and search for

his husband's name. He read every article Blair had published in there

curiously. Knowing the man as he did it was fascinating to hear his lover's

voice come from the print - the easy lecturing tone supplied from Jim's memory.

It was a mixture of excited discovery, seasoned knowledge and eager sharing.

"Hey," Blair's actual voice drew his attention straight away and he smiled at

the eye peeping from tangled curls, "Whatcha reading?"

"The article you published about the smuggling ring we busted that time we went

fly fishing with Simon. You know - the clash of modern and tradition medicines

and the culture it was changing," Jim held up the article for Blair to see and

then leaned over for a kiss, helping himself to warm lips.

"Been here long?" Blair rolled over when the kiss broke and rested a hand on

Jim's leg.

"Not really," Jim shook his head, "Why didn't you move your stuff in properly?"

"Huh?" Blair frowned, "I brought it all up."

"Yeah but you only used one drawer and maybe a tenth of the closet. This is our

room, Chief, you get equal space rights," Jim smiled at his slightly pink

husband and put the magazine to one side, "It's ok, I spread you out a bit

more."

"Great, now I'll never find anything," Blair mock grumbled, and sat up, "Thanks

Beloved. I guess I didn't want to trample your space."

"You could never do that," Jim assured him, "That reminds me, would you mind if

we used your quilt up here? I've always liked that one."

"Sure," Blair shrugged, glancing at the bright object on the corner of the bed,

"How was work? Everything ok?"

"Yeah," Jim shrugged too; he didn't want to discuss work when they could be

discussing their future, "Just more paperwork than usual - someone from the

other squad stuffed up and we had to cover our asses. Same old, same old. Chief,

do you think we could add a bookcase up here? That stretch along the railing is

bare, we could build one to run along there."

"Sure," Blair shrugged again, not even bothering to look, "Whatever you like,

Beloved."

Jim got the feeling that it hadn't quite sunk in for Blair that this was his

room too. He smiled at his significant other and got up. That would come

eventually, and until then Jim would be able to spoil Blair rotten - something

he rarely got away with. His young lover was fiercely independent.

"Come on then," he stretched out a hand to pull Blair up, "We can get the timber

now and some take out for dinner. If we get it built tonight we can varnish it

tomorrow."

"Lead on," Blair held his hand tightly and followed Jim down the stairs.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Five - In which the boys hit a little snag.

Blair sighed, coughed and looked around at his current situation. Cold and wet -

check. Surrounded by filth and foul smells - check. Struggling against a

deadline that would prove fatal if he missed it - check.

Life with a cop is just laugh after laugh, Blair mused and shivered. Their

latest case was not going well. Yet another nutcase had come to Cascade -

surprise, surprise - and decided to blow large chunks of it up for fun and

profit.

The pieces he chose to blow up belonged to the rich and connected of Cascade.

They yelled at the Mayor, who yelled at the Commissioner, who yelled at the

Chief, who yelled at Captain Banks, who yelled at the team of Ellison and

Sandburg.

The media yelled at everyone - stirring up trouble as often as not - and Jim and

Blair started pulling all nighters in an effort to narrow down their list of

suspects. Joel had joined them, working the forensics side of things and

reconstructing the bombs for Jim and Blair to work from. The leaks in the

department didn't help - no one could figure out where it was coming from, so

many people came through the bullpen and worked as assistants on the case that

it could have literally been one of hundred's of suspects.

So far the guy had used household items in his construction - no rare gold

watches, fancy ingredients or sophisticated equipment. The waterfront was taking

a real beating as he targeted Cascade's lucrative import/export trade - to the

relief of the land freight companies, who'd been the first targets.

Using prior experience, anecdotal and written sources, forensic expertise and

his grandmother's knitting patterns, Joel managed to profile their nutter, and

Blair pulled record after record from the database and Cascades paper files in

an effort to match it. Jim hit the snitches and rumor mills, eavesdropping

Sentinel style on various bars and shelters to try and find their quarry's

trail.

Blair had the most luck, finding a match for the profile so close it was as if

Joel had held auditions and based his conclusions on one of the candidates.

Unfortunately the leak had struck - or leaked - again and Blair's name had been

splashed all over the place as the man who broke the case.

"What a load of crap," Blair spat in disgust when someone brought it to his

attention, "It was Joel's profile - and the people in forensics' gave us all

that data to work from."

The response circled the PD rapidly - sending Blair's stock up with a lot of the

support teams and the Bomb Squad. Jim rolled his eyes when he spotted the story

in the paper and made sure to tease Blair about the spelling of his name - the

article Jim had seen had called his lover 'Sandbug'. That had sparked a new

nickname in Major Crimes - with Joel the ringleader this time.

The bomber - delighted to have a name and face against which to pit himself -

started taunting Blair in the media, over the phone and through the mail. This

had the effect of creating even more hype surrounding the case and pissing

Detective Ellison off royally. No one threatened his husband and got away with

it. He started pushing himself even harder - which meant that Blair worked

harder too as he struggled to keep his Sentinel on line.

They had split up to run errands before going home to sleep - they hadn't had

sex since the case started, both men were too exhausted by the time they got

home to do more than kiss and fall asleep - when Blair was taken. The bomber had

got his hands on a trank gun - one used by vets actually - and caught Blair as

he came out of the all night grocery store three blocks from home. Animal

tranquilizers had kept Blair unconscious for twelve hours. By then he'd been

dumped in a small maintenance chamber in Cascades storm water system. He woke to

dim lighting and a hacking cough - the cold wet air having done a number on his

lungs. Careful examination of his surroundings located a final message from the

bomber. The anthropologist had two hours left of his deadline to locate a final

bomb connected to the gas mains underneath one of Cascades largest shopping

malls. The instructions on how to disarm the bomb were included, as was the

intelligence that the bomber had sealed or blocked all the exits from the storm

water system nearest Blair. If this was true, he would not be able to exit the

system, call for backup and locate the bomb in time; it came down to choosing

between risking his health by staying down there, or risking an explosion by

trying to get up to the surface.

Blair had taken his letter and headed out immediately. His lungs - weakened by

his prior drowning - were now burning with each breath; a warning that pneumonia

was getting a grip on him once again. His body was wracked with chills and fever

as he fought off encroaching hypothermia and his vision wasn't too steady

either.

Each junction had to be examined carefully for clues on his location and

confirmation that he was headed in the right direction. Luckily the Cascade

engineers painted the street names that were running above the storm water

system onto the tunnels at each junction - so it was like walking the streets

above. Running when he could - his breathing was becoming more and more labored

as time passed - Blair steadily made his way towards the bomb.

He knew that Jim would be searching for him, so as he moved, Blair talked. He

described where he was and what he was doing; complained about the location when

a particularly nasty bit of rubbish floated by. He discussed their plans for a

long vacation and demanded they go somewhere warm and tropical. His voice came

in gasps and coughs as he neared his objective, but it didn't deter him from

talking.

The bomb was easy to find. Blair had five minutes on the counter when he arrived

and he used one of those minutes to carefully check that there were no wires or

secondary devices leading from the bomb. Satisfied that he wasn't about to make

things worse, Blair carefully located the correct wire, traced it back to it's

source and thought quickly about what Joel had told him over the years. With

thirty seconds left on the counter Blair pulled his chosen wire free. The

counter turned itself off. Blair leaned against the wall for support and tried

to control his breathing. A series of hacking coughs left him bent double on his

knees, gasping for breath and hanging on to consciousness grimly.

0o0o0o0

Jim paced the emergency room anxiously. He'd been unable to find Blair - too

tired to used his senses with the precision required. He'd needed his Guide to

find his Guide and the irony hadn't escaped him. Their nutcase had taped Blair's

return to consciousness and parts of his journey to the bombsite, and the

eventual disarming of the bomb. Then he'd sent that tape to the local television

station. By the time the cops found Blair he was unconscious and turning blue.

Jim had been on the other side of the city when the call came in, and Simon had

ordered him to head for the hospital instead of the site. Blair's ambulance was

en route now and Jim was anxious for his first glimpse of his lover.

"Detective Ellison," a nurse called, and waved a phone at him when he turned to

face her. He was there in a flash, taking the proffered phone with a smile and

then turning a shoulder to her for a little privacy.

"Ellison," he barked.

"It's Joel," the familiar voice crackled over the line as Joel's cell phone

struggled with the distance, "Blair's on his way, Jim."

Jim repressed his impatience - he knew that already from Simon, but there was

something in Joel's tone...

"How was he?" Jim's voice was sharp with anxiety. Joel sighed on the other end

and paused for a moment. Jim's gut siezed in terror as the worst case senario

instantly leapt to mind, and he began chanting silently 'please don't be dead'

over and over again.

"He's not good, Jim," Joel confessed reluctantly, "His lips were going blue when

I got to him. He's almost hypothermic, but fevered and in shock. God knows how

he made it so far. He also pulled a different wire to what the instructions

said."

"What?" Jim exclaimed in horror. How could a man with a Ph.D. read the

instructions so badly he pulled the wrong wire? Was he that sick?

"It's ok, he meant to. From what I've seen, the bastard left directions for him

to pull the wrong wire. He wanted Sandburg to blow the joint up I guess. Good

thing Sandburg retains everything you tell him - he located the right one and

pulled it instead. Bomb's completely inert and there's no remote detonator, so

we're clear. We'll transport it to HQ immediately and I'll start taking it

apart. Maybe this time we'll find something to catch the bastard," Joel paused a

moment and then came to a decision, "It's all over the news, Jim. He taped it by

remote and sent the tape in. It's how we found Blair. The asshole called in to

Cascade FM a few minutes ago and saluted his 'worthy adversary' live on air. The

media is heading your way, so try not to..."

"Shoot anyone," Jim finished the sentence heavily and sighed, "Don't worry Joel

- I won't kill anyone."

"Simon's furious. He's on the way to the hospital with Rafe and Brown now. The

Chief and the Commissioner are both at the court trying to get repression orders

on the media - but you know how it goes. You just take care of your partner."

"I hear that," Jim replied and they hung up. A quick check with his hearing

indicated Blair's ambulance was two blocks away. He turned and headed for the

doors, waiting under the canopy for the vehicle to arrive, beating the staff to

position.

The doors were flung open as the vehicle rocked to a halt and Jim leapt forward

to catch the end of the stretcher, then grasp his lover's hand. Blair was

swathed in blankets and foil, propped upright under an oxygen mask. His lips

were still tinged blue and he was breathing in harsh gasps, struggling to open

his eyes more than half way and ease the pain in his body. His grip on Jim's

hand was tight and his eyes searched to find his husbands face.

"I'm here Blair," Jim jogged beside the stretcher, ignoring the staff around

them, "Hang on buddy."

The transfer to the table in the treatment room made Blair groan and then start

to cough. He flailed both arms free of the blankets and was snatched to Jim's

chest. The detective held the shuddering body to him and massaged the cold back

gently, murmuring quietly in comfort as Blair struggled to breathe between

spasms. The stench and damp was ignored as the Sentinel tried to ease his

Guide's discomfort. Five unpleasant minutes later Blair managed to regain

control and was placed back on the table, his hand once again wrapped around his

lover's.

"Detective, it would be better if you waited outside," the doctor frowned and

then stepped back as the glare hit him. The voice that replied was cold and

deadly.

"Work around me - because I'm not leaving."

They worked around him.

0o0o0o0

Blair woke reluctantly. Jim had been in and out for the last few days, splitting

his time between his sick partner and the case. Blair hated waking alone, but he

hated waking when Jim was there even more. His lover looked like death warmed

over and the poster child for exhaustion to boot. Still unable to say more than

three words without running out of air and almost fainting - or worse,

triggering a coughing attack - Blair had been unable to persuade his Beloved to

go home and sleep instead of visiting him. The pneumonia had filled his lungs

with fluid - effectively drowning him on dry land - and an infection had set in

as well. Blair was forced to sleep sitting propped upright, an uncomfortable

position that prevented him from curling on his side. So far the fight for

breath had prevented him protesting, but as soon as he got a bit of energy to

spare...

Medicated to the eyes, Blair wasn't able to do more than sleep and stare at the

ceiling for brief periods before sleeping again. He'd graduated from an oxygen

tent to a mask, full of medicated air that left his sore throat dry.

Opening his eyes and glancing around sleepily, Blair realized Jim wasn't there

and started worrying pretty much straight away about what his Sentinel was doing

where his Guide couldn't reach him. In the three months since the two men had

become lovers Blair had found his instincts when it came to Jim Ellison doing

risky things had improved phenomenally. Maybe it was a Sentinel/Guide/Shaman

thing, or just an 'I love you so much I can't live without you' thing, the young

man had had several flashes over the past few months that had saved Jim's life.

Blair's eyes began to drift shut against his will when the door opened and Jim

hurried in, a huge grin splitting his face. Blair felt a flash of relief, and

from the way Jim's face lit up even further it had shown in his eyes.

"We got him," he leant over the sick man and kissed his forehead and temples

feverishly, "We got him Chief, he's going away for a long time."

Blair smiled up at his excited lover through the mask and managed to tangle his

fingers in Jim's jacket, tugging weakly so the other man would sit on the bed

with him. Jim obliged happily, scooting close so Blair's hand rested on his

thighs and Jim could lean in for a feather light hug, gathering the sick man in

for some prolonged contact - something they'd both craved over the past week.

"Simon helped me track him down. He says he's got more respect for you if you

have to put up with the kind of trouble I gave him. Hush, hush, it's ok - three

tiny little zone's that I caught before he could get too far into his idea of

the Guide voice. And I never zoned at all during the final arrest and search

stuff - used smell to find his cache of explosives. That's right, love. Just

relax. It's all over."

Jim smiled as he felt the tension drain out of Blair's body, and his partner's

head drooped to rest on his shoulder. Making sure the mask wasn't dislodged at

all, Jim started rocking just a little, filling the room with his words the way

Blair would if their situations were reversed.

"Henri and Rafe are both planning to come visit you soon, and Joel's been here

every day. He always seems to pick a time when you're asleep. Rest, love, I'm

here. Simon's been here a couple of times too - says he wants to make sure

you're not disgracing us by trying to date the nurses. I could tell him you're

taken but I think he'd see that as too much information. Shh, I'm not arguing

with you - I won't come out at work until you're sure we won't suffer for it. I

love you Blair, just sleep now."

When he was sure that Blair was asleep again, Jim slowed his rocking to a stop

and tenderly lay his partner back against the hated cushions that braced him

upright. He smoothed the tangled curls back and checked the fitting on the mask

again, then went below the sounds of the machines Blair was hooked to, listening

to the ailing lungs that were starting to sound clearer, and the heartbeat that

was less labored as more oxygen reached it.

Scooting a little closer and accidentally pushing Blair's hand into his groin,

Jim leaned forward and snuggled his face into the crook of Blair's neck,

drinking in the scent of his lover's skin and feeling the tension that had

wracked his body slowly draining away.

Simon found him asleep, still in that position, three hours later.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Six - In which sex is prescribed as therapy.

Jim's eyes opened slowly and he smiled in contentment. He was home, he had

nowhere to be, and Blair was draped over his body like a living blanket. His

very own teddy bear was breathing slow and deep, the last of the congestion

finally gone from his lungs. After a month of breathing therapy and medication

Blair had finally been released from the restriction's that had governed his

life. He could sleep flat on his back if he wanted, he could climb stairs, walk

as far as he wanted to and could engage in gentle exercise.

Still unfit for duty in the field - the doctors wanted him to take it easy for

at least another month, building his stamina with gradual aerobic exercise -

Blair was stuck at home. Jim had decided to take his first vacation since Blair

successfully defended his thesis and made surprise bookings for the warmer

climate of the Bahamas. They left in two weeks time - plenty of time for Blair

to recover some stamina and be able to deal with the stress of flying on a

plane.

Blair stirred and licked the nipple next to his mouth experimentally. He opened

his eyes and smiled when Jim shivered and the little nub of flesh hardened to a

point. Neither man had seen much action since Blair's pneumonia.

"Good morning," he mumbled and took the nipple into his mouth, licking and

sucking idly. It felt so good to breathe easily after so many months of

struggling. Jim's hands came up to pull him away from the enticing nipple and he

pouted at his husband.

"I was enjoying that," Blair protested and leaned up to kiss Jim's lips instead.

The big man moaned eagerly then broke away a little desperately. It had been so

long since Blair had felt well enough to initiate their lovemaking - and Jim had

restrained himself, not wanting to put demands on his lover the man couldn't

meet.

"Stop," he gasped, "Not supposed to get you worked up."

"The doctors said aerobic exercise, Jim," Blair's grin was wicked, "This

definitely qualifies."

He took Jim's mouth again, in a lazy, loving kiss that had Jim's lower brain

standing up and waving. Jim wrapped his arms around Blair tightly and returned

the kiss with enthusiasm. They broke for air, and Jim looked Blair over

carefully, noticing the increased heart and respiration rate.

"Chief, please," Jim sighed, "I want to so much, but I don't want to risk you."

"Beloved," Blair kissed Jim's nose gently, "I know my limits. We can do this, I

promise. If it will make you feel better, we'll prop me up on some pillows and

you can do all the work."

Jim moaned and arched against the man blanketing his body eagerly. He loved to

ride while his Guide smiled up at him from their bed. Blair's cock was rubbing

against Jim's thigh, pre come seeping from the crown. Both men were too aroused

for this to last long, but neither minded. They craved the intimacy that the

hospital had denied them and the illness had forbidden.

Blair rolled off Jim and sat up; his partner eagerly positioning pillows to

cradle the smaller man comfortably. Blair spread his legs a little and smiled at

Jim.

"Come on Beloved," he caressed Jim's face, "Come on up here and ride."

Jim grabbed the lube from the bedside table and sat up. He found a condom and

rolled it onto Blair's cock tenderly and added some lube, then straddled the

other man and leaned in for a kiss. Tongues flexed against each other and lips

nibbled and sucked. Jim broke the kiss before Blair could get winded and nibbled

from his lips to his ear lobe, where he suckled and nipped gently, while Blair

played with his nipples.

"Blair," Jim sighed in his ear, "I'm wearing the plug."

Jim took Blair's hand and guided it between his legs to where the end of the

butt plug rested. Blair had bought some toys three weeks into their sexual

relationship - a few dildo's, a cockring and a butt plug. The feeling of being

full and dressed left Jim in such a randy mood that they only used it on their

days off. The toys had sat neglected while Blair was in hospital, but last night

Jim had inserted the plug while his lover was in the bathroom, hoping they'd at

least be able to play with the toys even if Blair wasn't fit enough to engage in

active sex.

Gripping the plug tightly, Blair slowly eased it out of his lover's body,

moaning in delight as Jim sucked on his shoulder - leaving a love bite behind.

Both men were breathing quickly as their bodies strained for release in each

other.

"Mark me Beloved," Blair kissed the short hair and finished pulling the plug

out. Jim was trembling in anticipation and bit down again as his body reacted to

the absence of the plug.

"Blair! Now!" Jim arched his back and felt his hips grasped by strong hands and

guided into position. The crown of Blair's cock brushed his spasming hole and

Jim pushed down eagerly, swallowing the thick cock eagerly, both men shouting in

pleasure as Jim's body was breached.

Blair's hands closed around Jim's cock, squeezing tight, the tip just poking out

of his top hand. Jim groaned in desire and kissed him desperately before pulling

back and shivering as Blair's hands squeezed and relaxed.

"Fuck yourself baby. Fuck yourself on my cock, in my hands," Blair groaned, his

whole groin shooting tendrils of pleasure through his body as his cock was

engulfed in Jim's hot, tight ass. Jim shuddered and rocked up into Blair's hands

and then down onto his cock, his hands braced on Blair's shoulders.

Both men moaned in pleasure and Jim started moving, pounding down on his lover's

cock and up into his hands. The harsh sound of their breathing and their noises

of delight echoed through the loft as Jim moved faster and faster, grinding

himself wantonly on Blair's cock. Blair's hips were rocking up to meet him, the

extra action brushing Jim's prostate over and over again, sending spikes of

sensation screaming through his body.

"Blair, baby, can't hold it," Jim sobbed, "Gonna come!"

"Yeah, let me see you come. Do it, Beloved," Blair panted wildly and the words

sent Jim screaming over the edge. Blair followed as the spasming ass milked his

cock hard, drawing his orgasm out of him in intense waves. Jim's come spurted

all over his hands and chest as Blair shuddered and shook in reaction. Jim

collapsed forward over his lover and listened as the other man gasped for

breath. For a moment he was back in the hospital, willing Blair to live, then

warm arms encircled him and warm lips nuzzled his temple.

"That was so good," Blair moaned, "Thank you."

"You ok?" Jim couldn't conceal his anxiety. Blair nodded, but didn't stop

nuzzling his temple. Jim felt so secure and loved that his twanging emotions

threatened to spill out of his control as the stress of watching Blair fight for

his life caught up to him.

"You want the plug again?" he was asked tenderly, "We can do this again

tonight."

"Yes please," Jim breathed into warm skin and felt skillful hands lift him up

off the other mans cock and then tenderly insert the plug. He was lowered back

into Blair's lap and gathered close again.

"Love you so much," Jim sobbed suddenly, overwhelmed, "Don't ever leave me."

"I won't, Beloved. I'm right here," the croon soothed him to sleep, snuggled in

his husbands arms.

0o0o0o0

When Jim woke, Blair was curled on his side, his head pillowed on Jim's thigh

and his partners cock in his mouth. Jim purred and felt the young man smile,

rolling the slowly filling organ lightly on his tongue and giving it the

occasional suck.

"Blair," Jim sighed and then made a disappointed sound as the mouth released him

and Blair sat up. The curls swung around to frame his face, a wicked smile

gracing his lips as he leaned forward to lick at Jim's nipples. A strong hand

curled around Jim's cock and long fingers, callused from years of field work

stroked up and down in a rippling pattern that made Jim whimper in delight,

arching his hips off the bed.

"Like that?" Blair purred and Jim nodded eagerly, pushing into the strong hand, "Oh yeah, look at you. So eager for it."

"Please, Blair. I need you..."Jim whispered, tugging at curls to get Blair's

mouth level with his. He kissed the other man urgently while his cock was

expertly teased.

"Want me?" Blair cooed, "Hmm?"

"Yes," Jim gasped and wrenched himself away to kneel on all fours on the bed,

offering his ass to his husband and moaning in relief when Blair reached for the

lube and a condom. He heard his lover prepare the cock Jim was lusting over and

then move behind him, strong fingers spreading his cheeks and grasping the plug.

"Tell me, James," the sexy rumble had Jim straining back against restraining

hands and whimpering, "How do you want me? Shall I take you slowly and gently;

barely moving inside you?"

Jim shook his head - slow and tender was beautiful and he often passed out from

coming so hard, but not what he needed from his lover tonight. He wanted to

feel...

"Perhaps you'd rather I took you hard and fast...pounding into your tight hole

until all you can feel is my cock filling you, tunneling so deep you'll never

get me out - owning you..."

The hot whisper had Jim nodding vigorously - that was exactly what he wanted. He

wanted to feel his lover behind him, feel the irrepressible energy that was his

partner at the peak of health and vitality.

Blair's hands pushed him forward hard and Jim dropped his head, pushing back.

His lover's hands spread him wide open, removed the plug - and as Jim shivered

through the contractions in his ass as muscles reacted to the toys removal -

thrust up and in, in one hard stroke, his thighs slamming into Jim's, his groin

mashing into Jim's ass as Jim rounded his back and howled in reaction, his cock

leaping and twitching.

Blair's grip on his hips was leaving finger shaped bruises as he withdrew almost

completely out and then plunged back in, slamming into his prostate and making

him scream and writhe under the assault on his body, his senses flying off the

charts as touch took smell and hearing with it. He could feel the blood and

semen pounding beneath Blair's skin, smell his pleasure and hear the pounding of

his heart, the small groans of ecstasy.

Jim was screaming with the slightest movement of his lover, thrusting back

eagerly, trying to absorb Blair through their connection, his nerves firing

randomly in pleasure. Blair was nailing him to the mattress, nailing his

prostate with every thrust, raising his own voice to join Jim's as the

stimulation became too much and his orgasm overtook him, blasting from his body,

carrying Jim over the edge - his cock untouched, but shooting it's load all over

his body and the sheets beneath him.

Blair fainted, shuddering and falling forward onto Jim as he collapsed onto the

bed in reaction to his own orgasm. Jim reached back awkwardly and rubbed at

Blair's limp arm, gasping for breath and trying to control pleasure spiked

senses enough to get a reading on his Guide.

"Blair; lover, please?" Jim whimpered, twisting as much as he could while they

were still joined. There was no reaction from the limp man and Jim bit his lip,

then bore down on Blair's cock, pushing it from his body with small groans of

effort. Once Blair was free Jim twisted out from under and gathered his Guide

up, frantically rubbing at the sweaty skin and cradling him close, rocking back

and forth. Both men were breathing hard, and Jim still couldn't get his senses

to focus enough for a reliable reading on Blair.

After what seemed like eternity Blair stirred and opened his eyes. Jim sobbed in

relief and started showering him with kisses, babbling broken words of love,

reassurance and praise.

"Beloved," the single word stemmed the tide, "I'm ok. It was just so good..."

"Scared me," the words were muttered into silken curls. Blair's arms wrapped

around him and he was shifted onto his side. The smaller man burrowed into Jim's

body and the cop reacted by wrapping arms and legs around him in a full body

embrace. They lay like that for a long time.

0o0o0o0

Blair woke to breakfast in bed, prepared by a beaming Jim. They ate in

companionable silence and then got up to change the sheets - a must after eating

in bed, whether the sheets were come stained or not.

Jim carried the dishes to the kitchen while Blair shaved, then slipped into the

bathroom for his own shave while Blair prepared for a shower. He was surprised

when the razor was plucked from his hand and he was backed to sit on the toilet.

Blair smiled gently, straddled him and began shaving his face, paying strict

attention and care to the task. He washed Jim's face afterwards and then checked

for stray bristles with his lips, covering every inch with loving care. Jim

became erect under the attention, his cock peeping from the gap in his robe.

Blair was just as erect, but Jim made no move to touch him, understanding that

Blair was in control here and now.

Standing, Blair urged his Beloved up and stripped his robe off. The water was

turned on, the temperature tested and then Jim was helped in. Neither man had

spoken a word. Jim stood obediently under the warm stream of water as Blair

lathered his hands and washed his husband from head to toe, handling his

genitals with reverence and kissing the cock that was beginning to throb before

moving down the strong thighs to the calves and feet.

Turning Jim into the spray, Blair lathered shampoo and then conditioner into the

short hair, rinsing both out thoroughly and treating the scalp to a firm massage

as he did. Jim was purring at all the attention being lavished on his body,

retaining enough control to remain upright and that was all.

Blair turned his Beloved back to face him and kissed the man with everything he

had. The purrs increased and Blair felt his own cock surge at the sounds -

nothing turned him on more than when Jim went catlike on him. He nudged Jim up

against the wall and rubbed their groins together, growling when his cock

connected with Jim's, sending sparks of pleasure radiating from his groin. Jim

rumbled deep in his chest and nudged his hips into Blair, stroking their cocks

together languidly - too lazy from the pampering to do much more.

Tongues toyed with each other and hands caressed wet flesh as the two men made

slow, tender love. Blair lifted a leg and wrapped it around one of Jim's to

increase the amount of contact and both men sighed deeply in pleasure. The kiss

turned from one deep meeting of mouths to a series of soft gentle touches; jaw

lines and necks explored and cherished as their cocks slid and slipped together.

Jim's hands slid onto Blair's ass, cupping reverently and matching each move

without trying to direct or hinder it. His skin was tingling pleasurably with

each touch and movement and Jim heard his own purr deepen to a vibration that

traveled through both their bodies. Blair growled low in response and Jim's

breath hitched as his cock jerked at the sexy sound.

Blair felt like he was going insane as the pleasure welled from his groin and

filled his entire body. Each movement added more sensation to his already

stimulated body. He raised his face from where it was buried in Jim's chest for

a kiss that was slow and deep. His heart began to pound with the beginning of

his orgasm and he slowed their movement even more, drawing it out. He felt Jim's

balls draw up close to his lover's body and slipped his hand from Jim's waist to

his ass cheek. The simple touches were enough for the big man to growl into the

kiss and reach climax, his cock jerking hard against Blair's and providing the

last sensation his lover needed to come, gasping and shuddering.

They leaned against each other for a moment before Blair pulled back. He rinsed

them both off and then shut off the water - grateful the hot water had lasted

for their tryst. He tugged Jim out of the shower and gently dried him off,

massaging already loose muscles and enjoying the quality time with his partner's

body. He put the robe back on Jim and kissed him soundly.

"There," Blair couldn't keep the satisfaction from his voice, "Go and get

dressed Beloved."

"Thank you," Jim stroked a finger over Blair's jaw, "I love you."

"I love you too. Go on now; I'll be right out," Blair smiled, kissed the other

man one last time and watched him head out with a spring in his step Blair

hadn't seen since he'd come home from hospital.

0o0o0o0

Epilogue - In which life goes on...

Folding the towel and hanging it just so, Jim flipped off the light in the kitchen and wandered out to sit on the couch. Blair was sitting in his usual corner, hair pulled back, laptop perched on his thighs as he typed rapidly. The sound of the keys under his Guide's fingers was a soothing stacato rhythm.

"How's it going?" Jim sat down and lifted his feet to nudge his toes beneath Blair's thighs. Blair smiled over at him, making his heart leap as always at the simple love and acceptance in that one little expression. Feeling very content with his Guide in reach and territory secure, the Sentinel basked a little on the couch, wriggling his trapped toes and grinning at the other man. Blair adjusted so they would both be comfortable and then replaced his hands on the keyboard.

"The article is nearly finished and we're losing here," he nodded at the game on TV, "Honestly, you have to wonder what the coach has been doing this year."

"They're just having a bad season," Jim replied absently, "It happens."

"Uh huh," Blair frowned and deleted something before picking up the pace again. The clicks of the keys and the quiet sound from the TV were enough to nearly send Jim to sleep. He drifted on and off, letting the contact with his Guide prevent a zone.

Things hadn't been too hectic lately for either man. Blair had been 'borrowed' by a few of the departments in the PD - prompting Rafe and Brown to mock up a waiver to be signed with dire consequences for the borrower if their consultant wasn't returned in mint condition. Jim had laughed himself almost sick when he'd discovered it, and then promptly hidden the form from Blair. The criminal element had apparently taken a holiday, though Jim had been busy in court as several different cases came up one after the other. The tediousness of waiting to testify had only been alleviated when Blair dragged him into a closet for a lunch time quickie - sending his detective back to court slightly dazed and feeling no pain. The memory was a pleasurable one; the feeling of his husbands lips around his cock, the finger that had teased his pucker as he tried to stifle the moans in his throat before they were discovered...

"Quit it," Blair didn't even look up, "You're setting off my zone alert. Go on upstairs and get to bed, Beloved. I'll be up soon."

Jim snorted but heaved himself up off the couch and bent to kiss Blair goodnight. He paused at the steps to look at the man with whom he'd spend the rest of his life with a smile.

"Life is good, Blair. As long as we're together," Jim said quietly, "Forever."

"Forever is a long time, Jim. You'll need your sleep," Blair looked over at him, "Go on, husband mine. I promise not to be too long."

"Size queen," Jim muttered to disguise the irrational pricks of moisture in his eyes and went upstairs to bed, Blair's chuckles tickling his ears.

End