WARNING: THIS FIC IS REALLY, REALLY WEIRD. That doesn't make it that different from anything else I've written, of course, but it's still…odd. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
Grover and Percy fell down in the grass, laughing hysterically. The cool evening breeze and glow from the setting sun gradually helped to calm the mood, and soon violent guffaws gave way to light giggles and contented sighs.
"Dude, that was HILARIOUS." Percy reflected, more laughter bubbling up from his gut. "Juniper was like, ten different shades of green." Grover nodded and grabbed a clover, nibbling happily on the small blossom.
"And Annabeth and Rachel were soaked!" He emphasized the last word by singing it out in a high falsetto.
"And Nico!" The boys said in unison and their laughter ignited once more.
Crickets chirped merrily, supplying a soundtrack for the two friends as they reminisced about their most recent adventure: What happens when Percy spontaneously covers people in water multiple times throughout the day. His last aquatic ambush had occurred just after dinner by the canoe lake, where they had managed to get Juniper, Nico, Annabeth, and Rachel all at once. The two had run off into the woods cackling and hadn't been seen by their friends since.
"We should do stuff like that more often." Percy decided, propping his head up on his elbow.
"But they'll just be expecting it after a while." Grover pointed out. "We should only do it sparingly, Perce."
"…may the gods hope that sentence is never taken out of context." Percy tried not to laugh at his that's-what-she-said-esque comment. He and Grover shared another hearty laugh.
"Nice." Grover held out his hand for a knuckle-touch, and Percy enthusiastically responded.
"You know…I miss hanging out with you, man." Percy reflected as he lay back down on the grass. "Remember that time you almost married a Cyclops?"
"How could I forget that?" Grover smiled. "Remember when we went to Hoover Dam?" Percy laughed and turned to look at his friend.
"Good times, G-man! Remember the second Titan war?" His voice took a more serious tone. "We saved the world that day." Grover grinned.
"And remember that time we vanquished Chuck Norris and rescued the ninth dimension from certain doom?"
"Grover…I don't think I was there for that." Percy replied after an awkward pause. Another pause took its place.
"Oh…that must have been in a dream I had, then." Grover blushed sheepishly. Or, you know, goatishly.
"I hate that we can only see each other during the summer." Percy sighed. "I mean…I value the time I have with you but there's never enough of it." Grover raised an eyebrow.
"I dunno." He disagreed. "During the summer, we have camp."
"Which rocks." Percy verified. "Anyway, continue."
"And camp is a haven for us. We're safe here. I mean, I'm a satyr. You're a demigod. A really powerful, invulnerable demigod."
"True." Percy grinned. "You're not just a satyr, either. You're a lord of the Wild." Grover blushed and continued.
"And the last time we saw each other during the school year you didn't know of your demigod status."
"Where is this going?" Percy narrowed his eyes in suspicion.
"Percy, it would be tricky for us to see each other during the school year. We're powerful separately, and combined…that would be a huge monster trap! Besides, you're a savior of Olympus and a powerful demigod, which makes your chances of constant monster attacks bad anyway. Not to mention you're dating another savior of Olympus, which makes it even worse." Grover pointed out. "You have to admit; adding me to the mix would just make it disastrous."
"But…you're my best friend. You must be able to visit every once and a while."
"You're being unusually clingy." Grover raised an eyebrow.
"Hey, cut me some slack! I think I'm entitled to one sentimental moment every few months." Percy shrugged. Grover snorted.
"Then spend your 'moments' with Annabeth, don't waste them on our little…bromance." Percy shot up, feeling that the term was a bit too extreme.
"Bromance? You're calling ME a girl and you just used the term bromance?" Grover shrugged, unaffected by Percy's outburst.
"Isn't that what the mortals are calling it these days?" He asked. Percy rolled his eyes.
"I mean…I guess that's an accurate term for best guy friends…but it sounds really, you know…"
"Wrong?" Grover finished. Percy nodded.
"Basically, yeah. It sounds like we're dating or something…" He shivered at the thought.
"I thought we weren't going to let our friendship be affected by stereotypes." Grover said calmly. Percy groaned.
"Grover, now you're being a girl!" He flopped back down onto the grass.
"I just think we need to talk about our feelings." Grover said in the same tone. Percy scrunched up his face in disgust.
"Grover, what are you talking about?"
"You've been distant lately." Grover pouted.
"I have not! I just said that I wanted us to spend more time together!"
"Time doing what, Percy? Time spent reflecting on days that have passed us by, longing for tomorrow to resemble the ghost of a cheery yesterday?" Grover snapped. If Percy hadn't been confused before, he definitely was now.
"I don't…I…what?" Percy found that his premeditated rant in response to Grover's poetic…ness had abandoned him.
"Percy, I'm kidding. You actually bought that?" Grover cracked up, much to Percy's chagrin.
"Hey! You sounded really serious!" The son of the earth shaker insisted. "Grover! Grover, this isn't funny!" He crossed his arms over his chest, embarrassed that he was tricked so easily by Grover.
"Percy, come on!" Grover turned to face Percy and clapped his friend on the shoulder. "You have to admit, that was funny!" Percy turned away and rolled his eyes.
"It was not." Percy pouted stubbornly. "I was really freaked for a second there!"
"Come on, Perce." Grover shook his friend's shoulder. "I was just kidding." Percy huffed indignantly and turned over onto his stomach.
"I'm not talking to you." Came Percy's muffled protest.
"Come on, get up." Grover stood and tugged Percy's arm, but the effort was fruitless due to his friend's invulnerability.
"Grover, no." Percy whined into the ground.
"Come on. We're hugging this out." He grinned. Percy looked up at his friend and was about to voice his disapproval when Grover hauled him up and hugged him fiercely.
"Grover! Stop!" Percy struggled to get away, but Grover was surprisingly strong.
"You know you love it!" Grover continued to hug his friend, holding on for all he was worth.
"Too hard! Too hard!" Percy tried to shove the satyr off. He could have used more force but he didn't for fear of actually hurting his friend.
"Just take it, Percy!"
"Grover, no!"
"What is going on?" The two boys looked up to see Annabeth and Juniper standing in front of them. Both girls looked incredibly disturbed.
"Annabeth!" Percy quickly shoved Grover off of him and ran to his girlfriend. "Annabeth, Grover was acting CRAZY!" Annabeth looked her boyfriend over with widened eyes and turned to Grover for an explanation.
"You're the one who refused to hug me." Grover pouted as he pulled Juniper close for a hug. The dryad speedily ducked away and skipped over to Annabeth's side.
"What is this, everyone-refuse-to-hug-Grover day?" Asked the satyr, exasperated.
"Um…maybe we should go." Annabeth grabbed Juniper by the arm and turned to leave when Percy wrapped his arms around her waist and urged her to stay.
"No! NO! Save me from the crazy goat!" He begged.
"Percy, this is getting ridiculous!" Annabeth swatted his hand. "We were clearly interrupting something…important." Juniper nodded.
"We'll give you guys time to work out…whatever issue you were caught up in." She kissed Grover on the cheek. "I'll see you later."
"I just wanted to talk about our feelings." Grover grumbled. Juniper and Annabeth ran off into the woods giggling and left the two friends alone.
"Okay…" Percy said after a few moments of silence. "NOW we can hug this out." He and Grover embraced in an explosion of completely masculine and platonic passion.
"Now, isn't this nice?" Grover rubbed Percy's back and hummed contentedly.
"Dude…" Percy muttered into his shoulder. "Don't push it."
…I wrote that because PercyxGrover scares me. And…I wanted to…um…I'm actually not sure. Review!