Kaidan sat next the commander's bedside from the moment she was brought it. Dr Chakwas, had tried examine him to see if he had sustained any injuries from the mission and the Beacon.

"Honestly I'm fine just the odd bump here and there. How's the Commander doing?"

"She's doing fine Kaidan stop worrying... it's getting late and you've had a long day why don't you go and get some sleep?"

Kaidan began nervously scratching the back of his neck. "It's my fault the Commander is in this state...I can't just leave her" Dr Chakwas rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Kaidan I assure you she's going to be ok we just need her to wake up and we can take any needs from there. You can stay here if you like but I would still advise that you get some sleep. I've some reports that need writing up I'll be around if you need me."

Kaidan smiled and gave a slight nod before moving his chair closer to Shepard's bed. When he was sure Dr Chakwas was sat at her desk he took Shepard's hand into his own. He began stroking the back of her hand with his broad thumb slowly moving it back and forth. Another tear rolled down his cheek leaving traces of its existence on his skin.

"I'm so sorry Shepard... it's all my fault if only...if only I was paying more attention rather than wondering off"

He looked at her face, he traced the angles and purities of her face with his eyes, and he longed to touch her smooth skin but only daring to brush a bit of her hair with the tips of his fingers. Moving back in his chair Kaidan thought about what Dr Chakwas had said about getting some sleep. She was right he would benefit from a few hours. He decided he would take her advice, but only if he could stay close to her. Scooting further down in his chair Kaidan began getting himself settled for an uncomfortable night.

Kaidan woke with a jump, hearing the sound of footsteps becoming nearer. He adjusted his body in the chair to realise a blanket had been draped across him and a pillow down by his feet. He instinctively looked towards Shepard, she hadn't moved. The night light beaming gently off her face, Kaidan smiled but couldn't help still feeling concerned.

"Hey sleepy head! How is she doing LT?"

The voice was quiet as though whispered, he sat completely up in his chair removing the blanket from his lap, turning around slowly he realised it was Ashley Williams the marine they had rescued only hours earlier. She stood looking quite sheepish.

"You looked so sweet all cuddled up in your chair thought you might appreciate the cover *clears throat* so... how she doing?"

"She's doing ok Dr Chakwas assures me, although I can't help but feel it's all my fault... if I hadn't let my interest get the better of me then maybe she'd be ok."
Kaidan buried his face in his hands, taking deep breaths.
"How long she been out? Must be nearly 10 hours now"
"12 ... not that I've been counting"
"You've been here the whole time huh?"
Kaidan met Ashley's gaze, giving a faint nod "figured she'd have some questions when she woke up."
Kaidan squeezed his arms around himself.

"Don't blame yourself LT you couldn't have known what would have happened... I'm sure the commander will tell you the same when she wakes up. I've gotta get going I've a few things I need to get sorted. I'll talk to you later. In the mean time chin up"

Looking at Shepard, so peaceful Kaidan couldn't help but wonder what she was dreaming about. Dr Chakwas had talked about her having rapid eye movement which was often linked to dreaming. He approached her looking deeply into her face, resting an arm around her head, while gently stroking her distinctive cheekbones and slender jaw line.

"How can someone with the history you have and the dangerous life you live be so beautiful? I've never met anyone like you Emma. You gave me butterflies the first time I laid eyes on you. Hell you had me chattering like an Idiot the first time you ever spoke to me... There's something about you, something I can't quiet put my finger on."

Dr Chakwas entered the med bay
"Sleep well lieutenant?"

Jumping before rushing over to meet her Kaidan babbled something quite inaudible, Dr Chakwas laughed.

"I'll trust that's a yes then? How are you feeling this morning? Are you finally going to let me examine you? As I trust the commander is fine being left in your capable hands"
Kaidan blushed, while sitting himself on the bed next to the Commander.

Dr Chakwas checked the Lieutenant over "well looks like you're in perfect health apart from the odd scrape and bump", flashing a light into his eyes checking his pupil reflex. How have the migraines been? Your records show that they're becoming more frequent but not as intense"
"They're ok just trying to keep busy; working below deck helps I suppose not so many bright lights and loud noises"

Kaidan was relieved but the Dr knew as well as he did that he wouldn't be leaving until the commander was awake. Choosing to sit back into his chair Kaidan began filling in report details.

Two hours slowly ticked past. The room remained silent... I quiet groan came from Shepard's bed as she began to stir and make attempts at sitting up. Kaidan Called for the Dr.
"Dr! Dr Chakwas I ... think she's waking up"
Kaidan rose from his chair, trying to avoid being noticed till the Dr had spoken to her. Dr Chakwas walked around Shepards bed.
"You had us worried then Shepard! How you feeling?"
"Urge... minor throbbing nothing serious... how long was I out?"
"About 15 hours...something happened down there with the beacon I think"
"It's my fault; I must have triggered some kind of security field when I approached it. You had to push me outta the way"

Shepard turned her attention to Kaidan the look on his face showed that he was not only tired but needed to know that everything was ok between them.
"You had no way to know what would happen"

Kaidan gave a reassured smile and walked up to stand with Dr Chakwas.

"Actually were not even sure if that's what set it off... unfortunately we'll never get the chance to find out"

Kaidan could see the confusion crossing Shepard's face

"The beacon exploded, a system overload maybe. The blast knocked you cold. Williams and I had to carry you back to the ship"

"I appreciate it!"

Shepard could see Kaidan's face going a flush red. She couldn't help but think about how lucky she was. The crew generally thought about her and looking at Kaidan she got the impression he had been blaming himself all night. She decided that she would talk to him later, make sure that he was ok and that the mission hadn't taken too much out of him.

"Physically, your fine; But I detected some unusual brain activity, abnormal Bata waves. I also noticed and increase in your rapid eye movements. Signs typically associated with intense dreaming."

"I saw... I'm not sure what I saw. Death, destruction, nothing's really clear"

"Hmm I better add this to my report it may...oh Captain Anderson"

"How's our XO holding out Dr?"

"Well all the readings look normal; I'd say the Commander is going to be fine"

"Glad to hear it ... Shepard I need to speak with you ... in private."

"Aye aye captain I'll be in the mess if you need me"
more