Rotting

Circus

Written by: Emily Saunders

Song Interpretations: Devin Miller and Emily Saunders

*Songs: Steel Caged Princess, Wide Knowledge of Late, Madness, Dark Woods Circus, Blue Ice Castle, Red Swamp Bottom, Guard and Scythe*

My Steel Castle

She ignored them, every single one of my screams. I knew there was no escape, so I lied there, waiting for death.

If there was one thing I noticed, it was the hard steel castle, blooming with "delight," and in the shadows, each and every one, there was a tool waiting. A tool waiting to be picked up. A tool, waiting for me. To cut me, and uncover the blood under my thin pale skin.

Each time the Queen approached, I remembered my heritage. I was, I am, a princess. The Steel Caged princess, tortured by the queen, and locked up with no escape, in a windowless room made of steel.

As I was lying on the floor, I was grabbed, and I ended up in a soft orange room... and I had no memory of my past. But even so, there were strange feelings tugging at my back, as I looked down at my white hospital dress, a woman walked in...Dr. Morgan read her nametag. I felt like I could trust her. Little did I know what she had in store?

Total Madness

I was running, running as fast as I could, but I distinctly remember the tapping of the footsteps behind me, and was I ever frightened. And well, what happened then? Except for a single door leading into Dr. Morgan's office, there was no escape from the men armed with tight fabric and straps and needles.

I had no choice; I had been stuck in there for weeks! So, I turned and ran into the office, only to find, no one but Dr. Morgan, sitting in her chair contemplating whether to actually try to stop me or not. I found myself standing there, completely zoned out, but still knowing what was coming was NOT something good.

A hand grabbed me and I was swept of my feet and a large man with a cleanly shaven face and a buzz cut was holding me, preparing for an escape attempt. And what happened then? Dr. Morgan, staring at the wall, managed to speak. All she said was, "Let her go, but watch her closely."

With no needles, and no strait jackets, pushing or screaming, I was quietly escorted back to my room, no doubt, patted down before going in to the dreadfully ugly pastel orange room, which I had acquainted myself with.

From every corner to every crack in the wall, and all the way to the broken tile in the center of the floor, I knew every secret.

That night was restless. No medication could have help. I need to see him. He was a last hope.

After being called to breakfast that morning, I got up and looked at my straight, tangled blue hair, and my incredibly pale skin. But, this time, that girl in the mirror was different. Her silvery blue eyes were filled with a glimmer of hope, and her slim figure was standing straighter.

At this dreadful place, I had come to, with no knowledge of even its name or before, even its purpose, a breakthrough was easy to come across. Well, for most people, but since I fell that night, I can't remember much.

A shiver went through me as I was brushing my hair, for every time I blinked, a memory of her came to my mind, and I could barely hold back the urge to get something that would...

Being is class 6, breakfast was served with anything that couldn't cut, and wasn't sharp, so mostly baby spoons or finger food. On those rare occasions, some kid would travel to our side of the cafeteria, and throw out their pop can. Today was my lucky day.

Not having any friends or enemies was to my advantage, I was practically a ghost. No one snooped, told on, or even saw what I was doing. I headed over to the garbage can and swooped up the can, breaking of the tab. perfect.

Back in my room, all the guards were off duty, so I was able to hide the tab without being noticed. The bell rang. NO! The worst part of the day.

We were lined up outside of the cafeteria, as I put on my nametag. Meghan McMartin. It was interesting... but I could live with it.

We were stuffed into the cafeteria. But today, everyone left 1 by 1. First, Ritsu and Levi, and then Kain, Nelta Makina, and Hani. All beautiful names...

As I was dragged out, willingly on my part, I was taken to a blood-stained room, and in the corner was Kain strapped to a chair and Levi and Ritsu sewed together-like Siamese twins.

I was grabbed, and strapped to a table, and then everything was black.

I woke up in what seemed to be a circus.

Rotting Circus

Little children come to visit us here at the Dark Woods Circus. We are deep, deep into the woods, with long colourful curtains and mascots that are 10 meters high!

I am deformed, a chimera. My friend, the blue beast, the Siamese twins, the mascots, we are all here having fun together!

But deep inside, I would rather be in hell, as this body, so vain am I, to say it is hideous. What would happen to our guest? She must be entertained to the fullest! Am I crazy for saying it is our duty, as performers?

Levi, he pities me. He should not concern himself with such things. I love him, he should not suffer with me. Ritsu. That girl makes me wish to die more. I will never change now, our hopeless lives, now filled with fun! We started out wanting to die, all of us, taken under Dr. Morgan's wing, and now, we fulfill fantasies. Most are happy... or at least mindless. Being mindless would be a blessing. But I, well I was never crazy. Only, mistreated.

What had I done? Did all the sins, all the greed in my life, have to change? My vanity is a curse on all. When I judge, nothing is ever good enough. But how does that change the fact? The fact, that I AM hideous? Would I be missed if I were to die? My mind, filled with doubt. The Queen, I can't help but wonder, if they took her away? We had never been important.

Along comes our guest, in the dark woods circus. She enters the room and I try to paint a smile on my face. She comes over, whispers in my ear, that it will be over soon. It would not be a sin to die.

My Ice Castle

My body. God answered my prayer. Is this a sign of forgiveness? For my last moments...

I separate them. First I rip it off. The left head. Levi is no longer a sin to this world.

I rip out her heart. Boiling and steaming is bleeds out, she fells to the floor with erratic movements. I couldn't care less. Let her die slowly.

Kain was performing. He had never done me a wrong, but he will never discover a truth. With his strait jacket on he cannot help himself. I walk up behind him. I push. Unable to catch himself, the blue beast tumbles down and off the stage. With his last moments he turns and looks, barely catching a glimpse of me. With a broken neck, he is paralyzed and bleeding to death.

What will come of me? Was killing these unfortunate souls and the one I love, really bad? Did he deserve to live in agony? Is it a sin? No, it's impossible.

This body does me no good. In my own vanity, I realized I should never have cared. Would I be here? Unhappy, scared, and on the verge of insanity? You may think it, but I am not insane. I perform an act worthy of a saint.

The Ice castle is where I wish to be. But instead I hold the colour of ice in my hand. And now the final act! Unable to undo the pledge with that boy. That boy that I loved. I raise my glass to this world and all its faults. But I must end my time here!

I lower the knife. I smell the rusty salty smell from my seeping blood. I slice straight through my bone, out the other end and suddenly, I fall into my own pool of blood. Everything is engulfed in darkness, as a heat rises from my heart.

Red Rock Bottom

I wake, no longer engulfed in blackness, but in red. My skin burns. Why am I here? This is hell. I should not be here. I have no sins, no sins to atone for. Killing myself was not a sin. I perform a task, worthy of Sainthood. I saved us from that horrid place of suffering.

This is as low as can go. My songs warp, my skin, never touched, yet always being cut, burned, and scratched. The floor warps around my feet, as if, maybe, I do belong here. The red swamp, slowly, eternally engulfing me, never ending. Never escaping from this place.

At first glance, I should be crying, screaming out, but life was... nothing can compare to ... that. God, unable to do me another kindness' refuses to bring me to him. I understand. My ungratefulness was a sin.

Even so, I am not bothered. I would take being burned alive 1000 times before living that life. I would take 50 stabs in the chest and a drill to my heart 100 times before living that life. I am here, an now, I cannot change that!

So haw shall I pass my time? I will make a deal with a devil. I must. I with live without a life. Making the most of my death is what I was born to do. I visit him, the devil himself. He wonders, what should I take, I cannot offer a soul, for I never had a soul to begin with.

We make the deal, and I move on. I move on to another death. I will work for the devil, in return for my body, and the soul I was to have, I am a god, in itself.

Shield and Sword

And now, here and now, I wander the earth. Not as a human, but as a demon praying on dying souls. I see one after the other, one body laying in the street, or sick, and ready to pass. Sometimes, when I am bored, I take souls, without meaning.

I take them, forever, walking with no end. I will never move forward. When I return to that place, until my next day, I am instantly wrapped in wire. Spikes dig deep into my skin. I will never escape.

I was made a demon under 2 conditions; I must give my soul, and my body, and always return at the end of my work. I could stay out forever, and not return to be endlessly tortured, but eventually, he will find me, and the deal will be broken.

I would no longer be able to leave this place, not even briefly. I would be brutally tortured, no mercy. The spikes would be lodged deeper and deeper into my skin, and my own scythe would be used to tear me apart. The Devil himself would sew me back together, and it would happen again.

So I am eternally writhing, in this forgotten, merciless world.