The Ultimate Task

By Karu Leonnese

Notes: ^_^ I'm on a roll, really... This is based semi-loosely on an actual story, so you can laugh at our trauma. ...You know you wanna...

Warnings: Moderate shounen-ai (Edgar x Locke, my fave), mental and physical abuse of said charas. ^_^ All in a day's work...

****** Chapter One: Sneaky Reasoning

Once you've saved the world from certain doom at the hands of a maniacal clown, there aren't many things that are considered a challenge. Once you've stared death in the face and came through grinning, there isn't much that can phase you. But no matter what you've done in the past, how hard you've worked and trained, how many losing battles you've come through, nothing can prepare you for one small thing.

Taking care of children.

It was a normal day, like the many before it since the World of Ruin stopped being so...well, ruined. It was the World of Post-Ruin, as everyone liked to call it. WoPR. The weather was a bit chilly, being that small interim between winter and spring. The town of Moblitz, now home to the world's orphaned children since that legendary battle, was just waking up to start a bright new day.

Terra Branford was one of these people. The cheerful half-Esper busied herself making breakfast for all the kids and tea for her expected guests. She was used to the others in her group visiting her. Rarely did she go out and visit, because if she left, all of her 'children' had to come as well, which wasn't a good idea in some of her friends' small homes.

She set out the breakfast on the rather large table. Then she ventured upstairs to wake the crowd.

******

"You're going the wrong way..."

"How would you know?"

"Because I'm a genius, remember?"

"Yeah, sure..." Locke laughed, then tossed his friend the map. "Knock yourself out."

Edgar coughed once then turned the unfolded piece of paper around. "For starters...you had it upside down..."

Locke shrugged. "So sue me...I'm a treasure hunter, not a geographist."

The blond looked at him quizzically. "...I'm not even sure that's a word."

"Who cares...we've got ten minutes before we're supposed to be in Moblitz, and you know how Terra gets when we're late."

"Well you're the bright one who decided it'd be fun to walk from Tzen..." Edgar sighed.

Locke grinned. "You're pouting."

Edgar frowned. "I am not."

"You are too, and it's adorable."

"Let's just keep moving..." the king was eager to both get to Moblitz and change the subject of how adorable he was when he pouted.

The ashen-haired rogue winked. "Right-o!"

******

Terra had a plan. A plan to give her a day off. She loved the children dearly, but she felt that if she didn't get some time with someone over twenty soon she was going to lose her mind. Celes had suggested a girl's day out, and Terra had agreed to go. The only problem was finding someone to watch the kids. Although most of them were old enough to be out of the house for most of the day, there was still an issue of the younger ones. Everyone else had made plans to be away except Milinda and Chris, her two youngest, nine and three respectively. So, if she could find someone to watch those two for the day, she'd be ready to go.

Of course, the babysitters didn't have to know they were going to fill this job until it was too late...

But so far, her sitters hadn't shown up. They were already fifteen minutes late. Terra had always insisted on punctuality, and she found this tardiness rather annoying.

"I'd certainly expect better from a king..." she grumbled, fixing her hair. She halfway wondered if they were doing this on purpose. But then she thought better of it. Why on earth would they do that?

There was a knock on the door. Terra moved to answer it, but Milinda got there first. The young girl opened the door to find two men, one with long blond hair and the other with short light black hair, pushed up by a bandana.

"Hi!" she beamed, regarding them curiously.

"Umm...hi. Is Terra around?" the short-haired one asked. Milinda vaguely remembered the two as Terra's friends, Locke and Edgar.

She slammed the door shut.

"Milinda!" Terra scolded, entering the room, "That wasn't nice at all!"

"Whatever...it's just those two losers..." she flopped down on a chair.

Terra sighed and opened the door again. Locke and Edgar looked confused. "Sorry about that...Milinda just didn't know who you were..." she shot a warning glance at the child, who merely glared back sulkily.

"No problem..." Edgar grinned, as they both stepped inside.

She smiled. "Good! So, here's what I need you to do. I'm about to leave, and—"

"Waaaaaaait a minute! What do you mean you're leaving?" Locke raised an eyebrow.

"Why did you ask us over if you're going out?" Edgar blinked.

"Well..." she put on her most sugary sweet smile, "Celes kind of invited me out, so I was wondering if you'd watch a couple of the kids for the day...?"

"You've gotta be kidding!" Locke blurted.

"Terra, you know as well as I do that Locke is no good with children..."

"Hey! I am too! It's you we gotta worry about!" the thief countered.

"Neither of you are, so between the two of you it should work fine. I only need you to watch Milinda and Chris. It should be no problem!" she switched to her secret tactic, "...or can you guys not handle something so simple...?"

"Of course we can!" Locke answered without a beat, "...I just...have better things to do!"

Edgar nodded, following the lead. "Right. I do have a kingdom to run you know..."

Terra dismissed them both, waving a hand. "Oh, whatever. You just can't handle it that's all. I understand... maybe Sabin or Setzer can come over here and—"

"Now wait just a minute..." Locke crossed his arms across his chest, "I'm sure we're better off than those two! Sabin'd probably use them as training dummies and Setzer'd take everything they owned in some weird card game or something..."

"Then you won't mind making sure that doesn't happen!" the half-Esper smiled, hallway out the front door. She slammed it shut before either could get in another word.

"She just...just..." Edgar stammered, still standing in the middle of the living room, Locke next to him.

"Yeah...she just dumped the kids on us...feh, women..."

"I'm right here you know..." both men turned to notice Milinda, still sulking in the chair. She had curly bright red hair and green eyes, currently narrowed at the two intruders.

"Good to know..." Edgar smiled half-heartedly, "Where's the other one?"

As if on cue, something tackled Locke at the side, shoving him down to the floor.

"I'm hit!!! Medic medic!! Man down!"

"Locke..." his friend said flatly, "it's just a kid."

The self-proclaimed treasure hunter looked down to see a small form latched around his waist. It was Chris, a brown-haired three year-old with light tan skin and too much energy for his own (or anyone else's for that matter) good. He offered the two a wide smile.

"Hi! Aunt Terra said you were gonna play with us today!"

"She had this planned..." Edgar sighed, bending down to help Locke up, who was trying to regain balance with the added weight of a sugared child.

"Well...not much we can do now I guess..." Locke attempted to disengage Chris, with no avail. He turned to Milinda, "Any ideas?"

"Why would I know?" she shrugged, "I'm not the babysitter..."

"Hmmm..." Edgar looked at the clock on the wall, "It's about noonish. How about we start with lunch, then go from there?"

Locke grinned. "Sounds good to me!" he headed toward the kitchen with his human baggage in tow.

"Small problem with that..." Milinda seemed to be enjoying herself at the two's expense.

Edgar winced. "And that would be...?"

"There's nothing here. Today's Terra's day for food shopping."

"This, kids, it timing at its worst..." the rogue deadpanned.

"So we'll...have to go to the store...?" Edgar looked questionably at Locke, who nodded.

"Yup! I'll be right back. Try not to hurt 'em too bad Edgar!" he started for the door.

The king yanked him back by his bandanna as he passed. "And where do you think you're going?"

He winked. "The store?"

"There's no way I'm staying here with both of them..."

Locke shrugged. "Same here. Our other option is to bring 'em with us..."

Edgar sighed. "Fine. Everyone get ready to go."

"YAY SHOPPING!!!" Chris yelled, squeezing Locke tighter.

"Can't....breathe..."

******