They call me a demon. A monster. Filth, unfit for the bottom of a shoe.
I am hated. For what, I am unsure.
It has always been like this. Or, at least long enough for it to drown out anything that came before it.
I have to pay twice, sometimes more, than most to buy anything. Soap isn't really much of a necessity when you are only getting enough food to feed the smallest of birds. Luckily, that won't be as much of a problem had I been going through puberty.
That doesn't mean that I don't yearn to be clean. To be able to see what I look like beneath all of this dirt. To not have to wear a ridiculous orange jumpsuit, the only thing in my price range. To be able to change clothes from day to day. To not smell of sewer water and pity Ramen from the only people that I genuinely liked. To have hair not weighed down by sweat and who-knows-what-else. To have one less reason for their hatred.
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They think that I am an idiot. I will admit to not being the smartest, but no one ever thought to explain the basics to me. They called me stupid and used it as a reason to degrade me, to perpetuate their disgust. None of them fixed my stances or explained how to actually do anything, yet they called me unintelligent and said that I was unable to be taught.
So I went along with it. I played the idiot. I smiled when they laughed at my mistakes. I got up when they pushed me down. I laughed along with them.
Then I planned revenge. I set up traps. 'Pranks'. They wrote it off as part of my mask. None of them seemed to realize that if I had wished, the 'pranks' would no longer be so harmless. I studied and trained, repetition after repetition. I did my best to be the best. And no one suspected anything.
Being a fool was preferable to being a monster. They underestimated you. They never truly looked at your intentions.
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Uchiha Sasuke was the only one that seemed to think that there was something off with me. Then his family died, and he became more and more introverted. I, this... I probably shouldn't have felt so disappointed by this, but I did. I finally had someone look at me and see me.
I admit that I have always had a bit of a temper, so it shouldn't have been so surprising that the teme's indifference angered me. I declared him my rival in front of the entire class.
I waited until I got to my dingy apartment before I allowed myself a good verbal smack for being an insensitive asshole.
Sadly, the damage was already done, so I sucked it up and went along with it.
I decided to continue my idiotic and oblivious persona by pretending to have a crush on the teme's biggest fan-girl, Haruno Sakura. I hated myself a little bit more every day for that.
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If I had realized that I would end up on the same team as the two of them I would have probably jumped off the Hokage Mountain. I probably would have gotten back up due to my awesome, at times, regenerative powers, but I digress.
So, when Kakashi-sensei told us about the bell test I did the one thing that I'd wanted to do most at that moment.
I raised my hand and said,
"Sorry, but I am so fucking done with this shit. There is no way in Jashin that I will work with them. Sasuke-teme is bad enough, but his big fore-headed fan-girl? Count me out. I'd rather go to Genin Corps. Ja ne."