A/N: Just a little bit of Rizzles goodness I had floating about in my head for a while. I haven't written a story in a while (too busy reading them), so this is long overdue. I hope you enjoy. As always, feedback is cherished. It makes us better story tellers, after all. :-)
Casey had proposed to Jane.
Maura found herself idly walking about her home with a glass of wine, contemplating the outcome of such a proposal. Could you really call it a proposal? It sounded more like an ultimatum, Maura thought to herself.
Still, there was talk of marriage, and the thought of Jane marrying Casey caused Maura's stomach to turn into knots. Hearing the words from her best friend had come as such a surprise that she hadn't been able to properly respond. She had politely excused herself, skilfully avoiding lying by commenting on the length of the week and the toll it had taken on her, and retreated back to the safety of her home to further examine the feelings that the admission had stirred within her.
After a long and confusing internal (and sometimes external) conversation with herself, pacing back and forth between the kitchen and the lounge, refilling her glass of wine where necessary, she finally came to a conclusion she could accept. She simply acknowledged that when Jane married; or when either of them married, things would change between them. She had often heard of men needing boy's nights after marriage in order to maintain friendships and what not. Perhaps what she needed from Jane for these feelings to go away was an assurance that they would still remain close.
Maura had not long settled onto her couch when her doorbell rang. She promptly made her way to the door, not before placing her glass on the coffee table, and was surprised to find Jane standing there when she opened the door.
"Jane. Hi."
"Hi. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
Jane glanced past Maura to quickly look around, before looking back at her.
"Not at all. Come in. You want beer? Tea? Something else?"
"Actually, water. And some pain killers, if you have any."
Maura glanced back at Jane, noticing the way she held her head and rubbed the back of her neck. She noticed the lack of enthusiasm in each step, and the slump in her friends demeanour as she approached the kitchen bench, before slouching onto a stool and coming to rest her head on her arms as the fell onto the bench top.
"Jane, what's wrong?"
Maura went about getting painkillers and a bottle of water, placing them in front of Jane before coming around to stand beside her, placing a comforting hand on her friends' shoulder. She had rarely seen Jane in such a state.
"Casey and I had a few words. I needed to get away. I hope you don't mind," Jane eventually replied, before sitting up to take the offered painkillers.
"Of course I don't mind, Jane. But why do you need painkillers?"
The concern was evident in Maura's voice, and as her hand glided up from Jane's shoulder to tuck a stray hair from Jane's face behind her ear, Jane looked up and saw that concern was written all over the doctors face.
"I just have a headache, that's all," Jane replied with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Don't look so worried."
Maura squinted her eyes at the detective, obviously realising there was more to it, but let it go for now.
"Okay. Come with me and let me try to work your headache out," Maura replied, taking Jane's hand and leading her to the couch.
"That's really not necessary, Maura," Jane whined, allowing Maura to drag her along. "It's just a headache. The painkillers will help."
"Yes, they will. But they will not fix the problem," Maura replied sitting on the couch. "Just lay your head in my lap and relax, Jane."
With a sigh, Jane reluctantly let her body fall onto the couch, laying her body out over the length of the couch; her feet hanging over one end, and her head lying across Maura's lap.
"I could tell from the way you walked in that you had muscle tension," Maura admitted softly as she began to run her thumbs along the pressure points on Jane's scalp.
"That feels good," Jane sighed as she instinctively closed her eyes.
"Tension headaches are the most common of all the various headache types," Maura continued, as she ran her fingers down the back of Jane's neck. "There are many short term treatment options. Painkillers, magnetic therapy, massage. A long soak in the bath usually does the trick for me."
Maura stopped talking when she heard a slight moan come from Jane's lips. She was sure it had little to do with her google-talk and more to do with Jane's enjoyment of the massage, and thus kept quiet to allow Jane to enjoy it in silence. She let her eyes roam over Jane's facial features as she relaxed under her touch. Her lips were slightly parted, her face was almost imperceptibly flushed, and her long lashes were fluttering on her high cheek bones.
"You can keep talking, if you want," Jane said softly, interrupting Maura's internal monolog of naming each of Jane's facial muscles as she admired her beauty.
"Really?" Maura replied, stilling her hands momentarily before continuing.
"It relaxes me," Jane admitted, before sighing, "You relax me."
A small smile fell upon Maura's lips as she accepted the compliment. It wasn't often that she found someone that could stand her incessant need to talk about things in such detail, let alone someone who found it relaxing.
"Did you know that the University of Nebraska did a study on what is deemed as desirable traits of a woman's face?" Maura began as her eyes once again roamed over the detectives face, her hands continuing their ministrations of Jane's scalp and neck. "They determined that a smaller nose and chin, along with a larger distance between the eyes and a smaller mouth was more beautiful."
A slight smirk graced Jane's lips as she listened to the doctor talk.
"Studies have also shown that top models have countless numbers of the Golden Ration on their faces. The Golden Ratio measures facial symmetry," Maura continued as her fingers ran the length of Janes face, up behind her ears, and her thumbs softly caressed Jane's cheeks before applying pressure around her temple.
"Jane, have you ever considered modelling?" Maura asked quietly as her eyes washed over Jane's form as it lay stretched out on the couch. She noted her lean body, her striking physique, her long shapely legs… When her eyes made their way to Jane's face, she noticed the expressive eyes staring back at her. Her heart felt like it fluttered in her chest, and the knots in her stomach returned, however this time, she realised, they were more like butterflies. Butterflies?
Jane smiled, "Can you keep a secret?"
Maura ceased her ministrations of Jane's neck and look back at Jane as if to say, 'Of course I can.'
Jane closed her eyes again and brought her hands together at her stomach. She began to rub at the scars on her hand as she started talking again.
"Oh, Maura, your fingers are amazing," Jane sighed, unable to keep the words from escaping. It wasn't what she meant to say, but when Maura took the weight of her head in her hands and massaged the back of her scalp, it was all she could do not to moan in pleasure.
"Well, that's no secret," Maura whispered back with a confident grin.
Jane opened one eye to look at Maura, surprised by her comment. She couldn't help but let out a slight giggle as she relaxed back and closed her eyes again.
"Too much information," Jane replied with a smile. "Anyway, as I was saying… When I was 11, I was pretty tall for my age, and I was slim and athletic. I went to an audition to be a model for an advertisement promoting women's sports apparel," Jane stated softly.
Maura looked down at Jane, impressed. "And?"
"And what?"
"What happened?" Maura asked.
"I became a cop, Maura, what do you think happened," Jane answered with a small laugh.
Maura noticed that Jane's hands continued to knead the scars on her palms, a habit she realised Jane did when she was nervous or anxious. She reached out told hold Jane's hand, continuing to massage Jane's neck with her other hand.
"Jane, your bone structure alone suggests that you would have made a fine model," Maura replied. "Not to mention your pronounced features… expressive eyes, full lips, full bodied hair. Suffice to say, your physique is consistent with what most would call The Amazon Model."
Jane opened her eyes and turned her head to look up at Maura properly. "The Amazon Model?" she laughed. "Oh my god, Maura, you make me sound like an extra on Xena Warrior Princess, or something."
Jane sat up on the couch and made herself comfortable next to Maura.
"Thank you for the massage."
"Sure," Maura replied, laying her head back on the lounge and staring up at the ceiling.
Jane glanced over at her before sinking back into the couch and mirroring Maura's position.
"So… you ran off pretty quick this afternoon," Jane stated inquisitively.
"Mm," Maura replied, trying to be non-committal in her response.
"I thought you must have had a date or something," Jane continued.
Maura turned to look at Jane, her eyes knitted in confusion. "Why would you think that?"
Jane turned her head to look at Maura, "I told you that Casey proposed and you rushed off. I was kind of hoping to debrief with my best friend about it."
Maura sighed before looking down, unable to meet Jane's eyes.
"I'm sorry, Jane," she replied. "Honestly, I wasn't sure what to say."
Jane watched as an array of emotions flittered over Maura's face. Confusion. Sadness. Guilt. Grief.
"Maura, talk to me," Jane encouraged softly.
"I'm not sure what to say, Jane," Maura admitted before lifting her eyes to meet Jane's once again. "When you told me, I just… I got this weird… feeling, in my stomach. So I came home to try and figure out what it was."
Jane nodded in understanding. "Ok. So… did you figure out what it was?"
"Maybe," Maura sighed, turning again to face the ceiling. "I don't know. I thought I might be worried about losing my best friend, but you know I don't like to guess, Jane. And not knowing… it makes me nervous."
"And you hate not knowing things, don't you Maura," Jane replied teasingly.
Maura turned her head to glare at Jane. Instead, she couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips at the sight of Jane's teasing smirk.
"Jane, stop it, I mean it," Maura replied as she picked up a throw pillow and hit her with it. She leaned back into the couch with a loud sigh.
"Maura, even if I marry Casey, you and I will always be… us. We will always be Jane and Maura," Jane replied as she watched Maura's profile.
Maura hesitated slightly before turning to face Jane.
"Promise?"
"I promise," Jane replied with a smile.
"I'm sorry Jane," Maura sighed, before moving in to wrap her arms around her best friend. She turned her face into her hair, revelling in the comfort she always found in Jane's arms.
"Wait," Maura said, interrupting their embrace and pulling away. "What do you mean, 'we will always be Jane and Maura'? Why not 'Maura and Jane'?"
Jane noticed the seriousness in Maura's question but couldn't help but laugh.
"Seriously?"
"Yes, seriously, Jane," Maura replied.
"Ok, well, it's simple, really," Jane started. "I am the oldest," she finished with a smug smile.
"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense," Maura replied as she sat back and resumed her position of staring at the ceiling.
They sat for a moment in companionable silence, just enjoying the company. Their silences were never uncomfortable or awkward. In fact, they both welcomed the silence they shared, knowing that just being in the same room was enough.
"So what were these words you had with Casey about?" Maura finally asked, breaking the silence.
"It was silly really," Jane began as she starting to rub the scars on her palm again. "He was convinced that I was more concerned with why you left so quickly today rather than what my answer was to his proposal."
"That does sound silly," Maura replied softly, wondering why Jane's confession caused another onset of those butterflies she had earlier.
"I guess I was a little too concerned," Jane admitted.
"You needn't have been," Maura replied, watching Jane's hands as the continued to knead themselves.
"I thought what I said may have upset you," Jane confessed, avoiding looking at Maura's face, instead chose to focus her eyes on the ceiling once again.
"Upset me?" Maura asked, confused. "I mean, I will admit it shocked me, hence my reaction. But why would it upset me?"
Maura looked up at Jane just as she offered Maura a shrug.
"Maybe I just…" Jane began, before taking a deep breath and sitting up to look Maura in the eyes. If she was going to say it, she needed to see Maura's reaction. "Maybe I was just hoping it had upset you."
Maura continued to look at Jane with confusion. She was hoping it had upset me? What?
It took a moment or two before the realisation of what Jane was saying sank in; that Jane wanted her to be upset that Casey proposed. The confession and the look in Jane's eyes as they searched her own left Maura with no doubt as to what Jane was trying to tell her.
"Did it upset you Maura?" Jane asked, her voice hopeful.
"Jane, I had this, this… knot, in my stomach," Maura confessed, unsure about how to answer her best friend. "It felt like someone had hit me in my stomach. I felt… winded, and I struggled to breathe."
Jane took a moment to let Maura's words sink in. She watched as Maura struggled to understand what her feelings meant.
"Maura, you will never lose me," Jane replied, reaching out to hold Maura's fidgeting hands. "You are the best thing in my life, and you make me happier than anyone else ever could."
Maura's eyes began to well up at Jane's confession. She inhaled sharply, before being able to reply.
"Shouldn't Casey be the one to make you feel that way?" Maura asked.
"He should be," Jane replied, glancing down at their joined hands before meeting her eyes once again. "But he's not."
"Oh," Maura replied with a sigh. "Wow, I've got…" Maura began, before letting out a long breath.
"You've got what?" Jane asked as she caress the back of Maura's hands with her thumb.
"Butterflies, Jane," Maura answered, looking down at their joined hands.
Jane let out a quick breath and a slight giggle before she leaned in to rest her forehead against Maura's. She closed her eyes, relishing this moment; the moment she realised that Maura's feelings mirrored her own.
"Lovesick?" Jane questioned in a husky voice.
Maura smiled, remembering a conversation they had during a tennis match where Jane confessed to having butterflies herself.
"It would appear so," Maura replied. She reached up to caress Jane's face, allowing the butterflies to run wild in her stomach.
"Maura? Can I kiss you?" Jane asked softly.
"Yes please."