His saddening goodbye was the last memory she could recall as the flames of the explosion threw her from her feet, throwing her violently across the platform. Her eyes closed wearily remembering his face, and how much she had lost in order to save the universe and everyone she cared about. His words spiralling in her mind as the darkness engulfed her, feeling piece and calm; a slight smile crossed her features then nothing. The light shone through the shutters of the hospital bay, printing their image on the far side of the wall. Deeper shadows began to over cast, as vehicles pass by in unison. There was a slight tap on the door before it slowly and carefully opened. Major Alenko entered the room, unsure what to find, as was his worry each morning on his arrival. He sat down beside the motionless individual, within the bed. The scars had healed nicely although her eyes were still covered to protect them from the sensitivity of prolonged exposure to light. He scoffed at the idea; she had been here for almost 5 weeks, having a machine aid her breathing. She had yet to regain consciousness, the bags forming under his eyes, accompanied by an unshaven profile, showed that he had spent little time away from her side. The nurses and medical staff had offered him a room next door but he had refused, wanting to be beside her when she finally awoke. It reminded him of the time after Eden Prime, the guilt he felt after she saved him from the effects of the Prothean Beacon. He stayed beside her for the full 15 hours; to him it felt like a life time. He feared for her well being, although no one blamed him ... not even her. Taking hold of her hand, he gazed upon her blank expression "hey... how you feeling today? - I know I promised to shave but I remember how you liked the unshaven look" he chuckled slightly, "Doctor says your making improvements, it's just a matter of you waking up, they've been talking about seeing how you cope breathing on your own." Hearing himself say the words stung, he hated to admit it, but he feared she wouldn't be strong enough or even how her body would cope. Raising her hand to his face, he brushed the backs of her fingers across his cheek. Moisture tracing along her hand, he focused on her scent and the feel of her skin next to his. "There were a few things I wanted to say...guess in the past I never really had the chance to..." His trail of thought was disturbed as Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau and Lieutenant James Vega, clumsily stumbled through the door. Rolling his eyes slightly, Kaidan watched as the two men entered the room. "Sorry Kaidan ... I mean Major" their line of view drifting to the floor. It was unusual seeing James like this, his usual quick-witted, out spoken personality was starting to show cracks. "How she doing? ... She looks a lot better from when I saw her last..." He bit his tongue, knowing full well that no-one needed reminding of the way she appeared on her initial arrival to the infirmary. He took a seat opposite Kaidan, out stretching his legs in front of him, his arms tightly crossed over his chest. As if automatic the two men looked up at Joker who remained pressed up against the back wall of the room lost in his thoughts as his eyes transfixed upon the view of the outdoors, so beautiful and calm. "Better I think" he finally answered, saying his words slowly and with thought behind each "No-one really knows anything until she wakes up, - there has been talk regarding her implants. They haven't said anything directly to me but its somewhere to look I guess" "You look like you could do with a decent sleep Major, why don't you let us take over for a few hours we'll let you know of any changes" "I appreciate your concern but I'm fine" the dark bags cradling his eyes told a different story as he shook his head slightly, James knew better than to question his superiors, even if their best interest was at heart. The room fell silent once more, nothing to be heard but the faint rhythmic beeping from the consol. It was hard trying to force a smile, acting like everything was going to be okay, when everyone was feeling the same, so lost and secluded. The only thing still gelling them together faced an uncertain future. A slight knock woke them from their thoughts. Their eyes piercing through the door, as nurse entered a wide smile covering her face, her high cheek bones hiding some of the sparkle in her eyes. She picked up the records from the end of the bed, catching a glimpse of Kaidan. Narrowing her eyes slightly she looked over his weary body, noticing his hands tightly wrapped around the patients. She couldn't shake the sense of envy; the story was always the same. She glanced around the room, still browsing through the pages. The door opened once again; a tall proud man wearing a long white coat entered the room. He looked as he had faced some difficult situations in the past, the deep set lines engraved in his cheeks and brow. "My name is Doctor Graham, and this must be Lieutenant Commander Emma Shepard?" All eyes, but Kaidan's, focused on this presence. The doctor looked admirably over Emma, knowing all too well the punishment her body had endured over the years, and the risk she had put herself in to ensure he, as well as others, were able to stand here today. He took the charts from the nurse, who backed up toward the door. Tears began slowly creeping down Kaidan's cheek; brushing them away he no longer cared who saw him at his weakest. He knew all too well what was going to be said, it was the moment he had been dreading. "There have been obvious visual improvements, her scars and burns are healing at a pleasing standard." He stood proud at the comment, taking pride in his own work. "Once fully recovered she should show no obvious marks if any, the multiple breakages and fractures are also healing well ... The only situation concerning me now is her inability to breath unaided. We have spoken to her mother, 'Hannah Shepard', on multiple occasions on what we should do next. She has given us her permission; to do what we feel is necessary. We have been given a full medical back ground from her previous physician, a, Dr Chakwas who has mentioned certain implants which may help her condition." Kaidan tightly closed his eyes, fully aware that more things, may have been brought to light. Painful memories came flooding back with force. He was sure, Cerberus wouldn't have told her, wanting her in peak condition for the mission they had planned ahead. Now tightening his grip around her hand, he thought back, remembering happier times. How much the two of them had been through together and how he felt about her. Nothing had ever changed; he had loved her from the moment he laid eyes on her. His only reassurance was that she knew how he truly felt about her; it brought a smile to his tired features. Remembering the special times, she had told him she loved him. Still so much, remained unsaid. Doctor Graham made his way to the consol, opening up the program "I'm going to try and trigger the implants, before, turning off the consol to hopefully give her the best possible chance." All eyes watched as Graham keyed in the code before stepping back, each exchanging worried glances. Joker hardened his expression determined, not to show his choked up emotion, focusing his attention on the outside buildings and vehicles. The rest turned back to Shepard, their faces speaking volumes as they watched and waited in silence. Her body remaining motionless, she no longer showed the ability to breath. The sound from the consol became noticeably slower, soon ending with a deafening beep. The nurse wasted no time moving in, turning off the sound and logging out of the program. He had lost two years of his life, living only on the hope he would finally be able to move on. Sharing similar questionable guilt to which her mother carried. The rumours questioned this quilt, hearing that she was alive and working with the enemy. Now he faced the true reality. He rested his head on her hand, and broke down, hearing blurred cries and apologizes. The nurse aided Joker from the room. James and the doctor quietly followed, closing the door gently behind them, leaving Kaidan to say his goodbyes. "I've lost you ... you promised me you'd be waiting... I – I guess you still are just ... just some place I can't get to yet" his tears trickling over the delicate skin of her hand onto the soft fabric of the bed. "I love you..." - Memories shot through her mind as thought flicking through a story book, each image clear and detailed, as though she had seen them before. Some nightmarish scenes shot through her mind, facing Saren and the Geth, the Reaper ship. Becoming over whelmed with the distinct feeling of loss, she wanted to open her eyes to rid herself of such memories. But finding them unresponsive, pictures of people she once knew filled in the gaps. A familiar voice filling her ears, becomimg clearer as he spoke... KAIDAN! Her chest rose up as she desperately sought out air to fill her lungs, her hands tightly gripping the sides of the bed; tangling her fingers within the material of sheets. She heard her name being repeatedly called, as she remained in darkness wanting to uncover her eyes, she felt her hands being held down with force as she thought against them. The familiar voice speaking softly to her, his tone thick with emotion, she recognised his soft touch as he remained holding her hand. She relaxed slightly, following what she was told. Shepard was unclear on where she was or how she had come to be here. Her body ached with each movement, breathing heavily feeling the thump of her heart with each beat, hearing questionable tones being drowned out by excitement and relief. More nurses had returned assisting the doctor; Joker and James rushed back to the scene "Major Alenko what happened here? ...Commander Shepard can you hear me?" the voice was unfamiliar his tone matching his questionable request. She could feel her lips moving without sound, resorting to nodding once. Turning her head to where the soft tone of reassurance had come from and raising her hand, she felt it being guided to touch his face; she smiled at him mouthing his name. Doctor Graham checked her vitals, with the use of his Omni tool. "Everything appears to be returning to normal... the implants have activated themselves and ... well... her fractures seem to be healing at a faster rate" confusion traced his face. Her bed was adjusted, allowing her to sit up more comfortably. Kaidan assisted the nurse as she began removing the bandages covering Shepard's eyes, the blinds been drawn further closed. They waited in silence for a few moments as her vision adjusted, he could feel the tears forming as he began to see the sparkle return within her eyes. She gazed at Kaidan her smile widening. "How are you feeling Commander?" she winced with pain as she turned her head, her eyes meeting those of the doctors. "Minor throbbing, nothing too serious, how long I was out?" "Let's just say you've been out for a while, we can talk more about your progress and, any, required steps when you've had time to rest and adjust" The medical staff made a swift exit, pleased that such a tragic story had ended with an indescribable turn of events. The three men gathered around Shepard smiles engulfing there features, eyes red from the tears of joy. "It looks as though I owe Vakarian that 20 bucks ..." he cringed, the comment sounding less awkward in his mind "None of us never lost faith in you ... especially Kaidan – I mean Major Alenko ... he's not left your side since you were brought in." A smile crossed Emma's face, as she gently squeezed Kaidan's hand, "tell Garrus I'll bet him the same 20 bucks I'm still the better shot." Getting up from his chair, Joker nudged James tilting his head towards the door. "We're glad to see you're okay commander" nodding towards Kaidan they left with Joker already messaging Vakarian about their bet. "So Major Alenko" her thumb stroking his unshaven cheek, "you look like you haven't slept in a while how about if I can manage to scoot up a little ... you rest here with me?" Shuffling herself over, Kaidan carefully moved himself along side, resting his head on the soft pillows, turning to face Emma. "I couldn't imagine myself ever lying beside you again, and it broke my heart" Leaning over, he kissed her softly, mixed emotions travelled through him. "I love you"
