Happily Ever After
-o-
Happiness, you see, it's just an illusion of Fate, a heavenly sleight of hand designed to make you believe in fairy tales. But there's no happily ever after. You'll only find happy endings in books. Some books.
Ellen Hopkins
-o-
I don't know when it all began to fall apart.
-o-
This wasn't the first time they had ended up this way. He wondered, sometimes, if this was just a cruel twist of fate, all things considered.
But then again, he was a Kurosaki, and fate rarely bore a real meaning to this certain bloodline, it seemed.
-o-
Maybe it had never been whole in the first place.
-o-
The slender woman by his side stirred, twisted herself further in the tangled sheets and turned to him, her bright eyes almost glowing in the darkness of her bedroom.
"A penny for your thoughts."
-o-
But hindsight is 20/20 and things should always be done differently in retrospect.
-o-
"I've been wondering about things back at home. Everything has been feeling pretty sour lately."
The woman sat up, not embarrassed enough to cover her naked body with the sheet as she did so and revelling in his golden eyes flickering to it before meeting her eyes once more, golden and blue locking.
-o-
I just keep wondering if I could have done something about it.
-o-
"I'm sure it's just a funk. A lot of old married couples fight."
-o-
But I guess not.
-o-
Kazui rolled his eyes at the redhead. "You are just as unobservant as your dad. My dad might have a hot temper, but my mom isn't one to raise her voice. The fact they had an actual, two-sided fight speaks volumes."
Ichika frowned, placing her right hand on his cheek. "You never told me it got that bad."
She felt him lean against her, his eyes pressed into her shoulder. "They have been disagreeing about the smallest stuff for a while, but yesterday was the first time they actually yelled at each other."
"What happened?"
The young Kurosaki sighed, wrapping his arms around his lover. "I think it was about dad visiting here more often." He didn't need to go into more detail, Ichika knew that her parents have been meeting with him more often, despite their busy schedule. It hadn't fazed her for a long while, and neither did it Kazui or Orihime-obasan, she supposed.
Not for a while, at least.
Ichika wasn't blind. No one was.
Even almost 30 years after the war, even 25 years after their births. It was still plain as day.
"Mom is always so happy when your dad visits." He felt water on his head and tightened his hold on her thin frame. "I don't see her this happy at home." Her frame shook, and Kazui pressed a soothing kiss to her temple, trying to calm her down.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
A small sob escaped her and she clung tighter to him. "You were already beating yourself up, thinking your parents were fighting over your decision to become a shinigami fulltime, that I didn't want to bother you with my dumb insecurities."
"Idiot."
-o-
Funny how you can think that the world is ending but still believe things will work out. We always think there's going to be a happy ending somewhere.
Lorna Jane Cook
-o-
Kazui was careful to be quiet as he opened the front door to the clinic, trying his best not to disturb his parents in their room just above the foyer, but paused when he heard noise from the kitchen. He glanced at the neon numbers of the digital clock above the reception desk, frowning. It's 3 in the morning, who the fuck is up at this hour? Realizing the irony of his thoughts he shook his head. Well, who is that didn't just have a fling with his childhood friend, that is.
Watching his step and mentally thanking Yoruichi for her training he slowly made his way over to the kitchen, surprised and yet not to find his father at the table, stirring a small silver spoon in his tea. "How's Ichika?"
"How the fu-"
"Don't curse, dammit, you know your mother hates it when you do." When his son remained quiet Ichigo sighed, finally looking up and gesturing him to sit with him. "You really think I'm stupid, huh? If you two wanted to keep a low profile you really fucked up. Grandpa has been planning your wedding the moment you started your little escapades."
The elder Kurosaki couldn't help his laughter when his son's face blossomed into a shade darker than Ichika's hair. "I wish you could see your face right now."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Why should we?"
The young adult looked down on his hands tightly clasped in his lap, frowning. "I thought you'd be mad."
"Pff, the only one who's mad is Renji, and the one time he said something Rukia beat his ass into next week and then continued gushing over how cute your kids will be." Ichigo rolled his eyes. "She spent too much time with my dad, methinks."
There it was again, that glint in his dad's eyes when he talked about Kuchiki Rukia. It wasn't the first time he'd wondered why things were the way they were, because it hadn't taken him long to notice. His dad loved his mother, at least he had for a while he was sure, but he had never, in all the time he remembered, had this glint in his eyes.
It wasn't the first time he had wanted to ask.
"Why are you still up?"
His father smirked, and an image flashed before Kazui's mental eyes, of his father, younger even than himself, clad in black, cocky and brimming with power. He wondered when it had all changed, and why. "Why are you? Enjoying your young, reckless years?"
He didn't give his father the pleasure of blushing this time. "Dad."
"Your mother and I had a talk."
That was all Kazui needed to hear to know what had happened, to know what would happen, and it was then he wondered, futilely, if he could have prevented it.
-o-
In tragedy, it's hard to find a good resolution; it's not black and white: it's a big fog of gray.
Paul Dano
-o-
There were few times that Kurosaki Kazui felt intimidated. One of these was as he sat before Abarai Renji, the old shinigami glaring daggers at him. "You are pretty ballsy asking this in a room alone with me, boy." If Renji was aware that he sounded much like his captain when he had asked the same of him decades ago he didn't let it on.
The orange-haired 30 years old gulped, unsure if he'd see the next day. "I love her, I really do. And if she will have me I'll do everything to make her happy."
The redhead frowned. There was a heavy silence between them, one Kazui didn't dare to break. Finally the older man sighed, scratching his head. "Rukia would likely skin me if I said no, anyways." He cast his serious eyes on the younger shinigami, gray meeting golden brown. "I hope at least one marriage in these families will last."
His eyes widened. But before he could ask Renji had gotten up, resting a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Please, when you ask her, keep this to yourself, we want to tell her ourselves."
-o-
He had known his fiancée would come. He had expected to see her crying face on his threshold. He knew she would throw herself in his arms and weep until she fell asleep.
He had seen it all coming.
It didn't make it easy on him though.
-o-
For what it was worth, it had all ended amicably. After all, in a group that went through wars and desolationswept worlds together, something like this was a mere flicker and afterthought.
With his parents, it had only been a surprise to those who had no clue. With hers, it was only unexpected if you were oblivious to the signs.
But that day, it was meaningless.
With a smile he locked eyes with the shinigami clad in white and red and pulled her close, closing the gap between them as their families clapped and cried and laughed and cheered.
-o-
There were never going to be any happy endings for me. I know that now. But that is all right.
That is all right.
S. J. Watson
-o-
He found her sitting in a tree. Her long red hair moved with the light breeze of the late summer sunset, her blue eyes locked on something in the distance. The orange shine of the setting sun encased her in a glow that took his breath away for just a moment, his heart skipping a beat.
5 years of marriage and she still made his palms sweat, his heart race and his face flush.
Ichika didn't turn to him when he settled next to her on the branch, instead keeping her gaze forward, just off the slowly reddening fire. "I wondered how long it would take you to find me."
Kazui nudged her playfully. "Oi, that's not fair, I just got out of the meeting with my captain. You know how strict your uncle is."
"It's not my fault you didn't join mom's. She would give you all the breaks in the world."
"I don't need special treatment!"
His wife rolled her eyes and finally looked at him. "And yet here you are, complaining."
The orange-head's face soured and he averted his gaze. "Shut up."
"Oh? Are you pouting now? You'll make some dad with that childish attitude."
Ichika had moved her gaze back to the far horizon when he wiped his head around, his heart in his throat. "What?" She didn't answer and instead laced her fingers with his, a smile on her face. When he was about to speak up once more he saw her frame stiffen, her eyes squinting against the now purple sunset as she strained to make something out in the distance. "Is that your dad over there?"
Kazui followed her line of sight, only half-focused, but then he saw the bright orange hair, face lowered as he was focused on a conversation with someone else, their figure barely visible in the dying light. Closing his eyes he tried to pinpoint the well-concealed reiatsu of the other party, his eyebrows rising as he finally made it out. "I wonder what our parents are talking about."
His wife shrugged, tilting her head to the side. "Whatever it is, I guess it was about time."
He gave her a sideways glance. "This is kinda weird though."
"When has anything ever been normal?"
The two looked towards the two figures one last time as the last rays of sunlight disappeared, and they thought they stood closer together than before as they finally merged with the darkness of the young night sky.
-o-
If fate is a millstone, then we are the grist. There is nothing we can do.
So I wish for strength.
If I cannot protect them from the wheel, then give me a strong blade, and enough strength... to shatter fate.
Kurosaki Ichigo
-o-
Soo... I'm not sure where to start with this one.
Thing is I was fully prepared to never acknowledge this entire Arc in any future stories in any way, shape or form. It has very little to do with being salty about ships or anything shallow like that.
It's because Bleach, in it's entirety, is pointless with the ending the way we got it.
Bleach, as a shônen, is a classical hero's journey. The hero rises up, overcomes evil and grows beyond his past self.
This ending negates the entire story, because if Bleach never happened, this is still the ending Ichigo would have gotten. A regular human life. He hasn't changed from the fifteen years old at the start.
It's not exclusive to him though. The amount of character assassination this one, single chapter managed is nothing but blatant. Chad is a boxer, despite vowing to use his strength to protect. Ishida, whose entire last "character development" was about finally accepting his friends as a part of himself, is lonely.
I could delve into why the endgame pairings are toxic and wouldn't work out, but I feel this would far exceed the purpose of this note. I will, however, briefly say this:
I strongly believe that in the real world, these relationships wouldn't work out. Inoue idolizes Ichigo too much for her to be able to treat him as an equal in a relationship. They have no shared interests and their personalities are far too drastically different for them to work.
Renji and Rukia don't have that problem per sé, but I also think that after everything that happened both before and during Bleach, makes their relationship a horrible disservice to Rukia. He abandoned her for decades. He slammed her head into a street light and choked her until she bled. He let her go off to execution and wouldn't have done anything to prevent it if Ichigo, who has known her for 2 months, hadn't kicked his ass.
Alas. I strongly dislike "set-it-right" retcon stories, because as much as I hate this ending, I strongly believe that one's personal ire has no place in this. It's the ending we got. Kubo chose to spite his fans out of contempt for his editorial staff. He chose to kill his own story.
This is, however, my attempt at finally letting go of the ire and contempt and depression the ending has left me with.
A few days ago my boyfriend of 5 years, who I have known for 6 years, and who I met only because we both loved Bleach and frequented the same places on here and dA and had common friends, asked me if I could pick up writing again.
I have been at a loss because of both personal stress and poor quality in source material (I apologize, this jab had to be) and didn't feel like I could write for this fandom at all anymore. I would have eventually finished my unfinished works, but it would have been with less than zero enthusiasm.
Maybe the responses to this will ignite my old passion anew.
I hope so, at least.
This has gotten longer than originally intended. If you have read it all, thank you and kudos to you.
Thank you all for your support over the years, for the beautiful memories and conversations, for the laughter and joy you gave me. I sincerely hope this won't be the end, and instead a new beginning.
With Love,
Anja