Gesundheit
by "The Enduring Man-Child"
All standard disclaimers apply.
A new series of "Chip 'n' Dale's Rescue Rangers" comic books has just been launched. This is great. And Foxglove is back! This is also great. But I cannot help but wonder what sort of back story they will provide her after ignoring her for over two decades. I am terrified that if they don't make her some sort of witch or enchantress (bats being "supernatural," you know) that they may make her a vampire bat. While actual vampire bats are merely mammals that feed on blood, they will always be associated with the monster—and unfortunately, the existence of vampire bats has caused all bats to be thought of as vampiric.
Over a decade ago I wrote a back story for Foxglove. In it she is an orphan (she isn't in the comics) and she is a plain, ordinary small insectivorous American bat like everyone sees on summer evenings-nothing spooky, nothing creepy.
Now I don't know yet what kind of bat Disney is ultimately going to make her. All we know so far is that her father Eaglewood is "retired" and living in Brazil (which really doesn't make me feel too good, seeing as how Latin America is where vampire bats live).
Whatever Disney does with her, I began using Foxglove at a time when they had forgotten all about her. It is far too late to "retcon" her. Plus, I already have her married to Dale, which is what she deserves. I will therefore keep this continuity. And I will never, never, never, NEVER write her as a vampire bat, whatever Disney eventually makes her.
This story is to deal with my anxiety and calm my jangled nerves.
Foxglove has a bit of a cold and doesn't feel very good. Dale is going to fix that situation!
The Laurel and Hardy marathon is based on the actual L&H marathon TCM ran earlier this month.
This story is dedicated to the great, beloved Deborah Walley, who voiced Foxglove in her one and only appearance, and who passed away ten years ago this coming May.
Thanks to my fellow Foxyphie wayc for the beta!
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"Ka-choo!"
Foxglove had never had a cold before. Not even when she was on her own. She supposed it had to do with the fact that she had always hibernated during the winter. This was not necessary at Rescue Ranger Headquarters and she had actually been looking forward to seeing what winter was all about, but had unfortunately flown around on a snowy day after having seen it for the first time in her life. The result was that after a visit to the doctor she was now confined to her and Dale's room and using enough tissue paper to set back the entire recycling movement.
Plus, she felt awful. Just awful!
Well at least I'll never take being healthy for granted again she thought.
Her musings were interrupted by a knock on the door. This was merely Dale's way of letting her know he was coming in, as her voice was too weak to tell anyone to come in. Even feeling as she did, she had to smile. He was taking such good care of her that she felt guilty for taking him away from the rest of the team.
"And how's our patient?" he asked cheerily, bringing her a fresh box of tissues and a glass of orange juice.
"Not good," she rasped, "but it helps when you're here!"
"So, got enough cough drops?" he asked, kissing her on the forehead and depositing the new tissues and the orange juice. "Got enough salt water? You need anything?"
"Just to get over this thing," she said. The doctor had explained to her that it wouldn't last long, but that there wasn't much that could be done about it other than just to wait it out.
"I know, Foxy," Dale said, ruffling her top knot of hair, "I've had colds before. They ain't fun!"
"I just feel so stupid going out like that," she said.
"Now now!" he comforted her. "Ever'body needs to see snow at least once in their life!"
"It was pretty," she said.
Dale cast a look at the small TV set that Gadget had brought into the room and set up to distract Foxglove from her symptoms. It was dark and silent.
"Say, why ain't you watchin' TV?" he asked her.
"Just...just don't feel like it, I guess," she answered.
Dale put his forepaw to his chin and looked thoughtful, which he did from time to time, despite what his teammates thought.
"Did you know one of the stations is havin' a Laurel and Hardy marathon today?" he asked.
"Not really," she said.
"It's just the thing to take your mind off how bad you feel!" he said.
Foxglove considered that for a moment. "I don't know," she said, "it seems to me that I wouldn't be able to enjoy them feeling like I do."
"Then we'll just have to change the way you feel!" Dale declared. "You just wait...I'll be right back!" Then giving her a kiss on the forehead he was gone.
Foxglove's cold wasn't any better, but she was already feeling better.
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A few minutes later Dale reentered the room, pushing a tray on a dolly.
"And now, for Madame," he said in a bad French accent reminiscent of Ram-Dale, "we have zee cough drops, we have zee juice de la'orange, we have zee Kleenex, and..." he flourished a small bowl, "we have zee, 'ow you say, zee meal worms! Voila!"
In spite of her cold Foxglove could not help but laugh until a minor coughing fit set in. Dale always knew how to lift her spirits...always. And though meal worms were not part of the natural diet of bats on the wing, they were a delicacy, even if one's taste buds weren't at the top of their game.
Dale of course responded at the first cough, offering a tissue and drinking water as well as a spoonful of cough syrup. Then when the "emergency" had passed he proceeded to the TV set, bowed, and said, "And now ladies and gentlemen we present this evening's entertainment. Appearing courtesy of Hal Roach Studios, direct from Hollywood Heaven, it's Laurel and Hardy!" This was followed of course by "applause" courtesy of his loud exhalations.
He pushed a button on the remote and took a seat beside Foxy on the bed.
Even with her cold, she already felt worlds better. She had of course heard of Laurel and Hardy from her fun-loving hubby but she had never seen them before. And what a treat it was!
She discovered that unlike some movie comedians and comedy teams, Laurel and Hardy were actually funny. And that's laugh-out-loud funny. Not only did she not have to pretend to enjoy the humor, it was all she could do, even in her condition, to refrain from laughing. If she hadn't been sick she imagined she would be howling with laughter and rolling on the floor.
That's how good they were.
But what added to the enjoyment (and to the distraction from her symptoms) was Dale's expert commentary on what they were viewing. He really had to be some kind of expert. He told her of their origins (England and Georgia), real names, Stan's start as an understudy to Charlie Chaplin, Ollie's nickname of "Babe," their start in silents and greatest fame after the advent of sound. He identified the bit players, explaining that their mustachioed Scottish foil was James Finlayson while the loud and blustery fellow they encountered in the Oscar winning Music Box was Billy Gilbert. He explained that despite his role as the quiet and submissive one, Stan was the boss of the team, setting up and directing their routines. And he told the sad story of their passing—Ollie first (Stan didn't even attend the funeral, observing that "Babe would understand") and Stan's own last years, which were brightened by getting to witness a revival and renewed appreciation of his and his partner's work.
It was fascinating.
And it seemed Dale wasn't so dumb after all. Actually, she'd known that already!
Dale's strategy worked marvelously. The ministrations, the movies, and his commentary all worked together to take Foxglove's mind off her sickness and restore her happiness.
That is until...
"Ker-choo!"
And it wasn't her!
"Oh no!" she said (as best she could), "I was afraid this would happen! Here you've spent the whole day looking after me and now you've gone and caught my cold, in spite of the doctor saying they don't spread like that. And it's all my fault! Oh Dale, I am so sorry!..."
She was interrupted by Dale's finger against her lips.
Apprehensively she looked up at him. Sure enough, to her great horror, his look was very (and uncharacteristically) stern.
"Well, Foxy..." he said, "...here's another fine mess you've gotten me into!" And though he wasn't wearing a tie, she instantly recognized the motions his hands went through.
Stan and Ollie were good, but the laughter that followed reached heights even they themselves would have had difficulty inspiring.
END