Party Bears and the Shard of Winter

An Adventure Time Fanfiction

By LeBlorqo

"Princess, I came as fast as I could, what's the matter?! Are there ogres terrorizing the candy people that need some butt whooping? Or is it mind flaying kutanaga beasts? Are the hot dog knights in need of saving again?" yelled Finn excitedly.

"Haha, calm down, Finn. I need you to fetch something for my latest experiment. It's a special shard in the Ice Kingdom, a sort of catalyst for frost. It's called the Shard of Winter, and Ice King has it hidden somewhere in his castle. I need you to snatch it for me," explained the princess of the Candy Kingdom.

"You can count on me, PB!" exclaimed Finn as he instantly ran for the Ice Kingdom.

Finn tiptoed through the bowels of Ice King's lair, searching for… he wasn't sure what it looked like. He probably should have asked Princess Bubblegum before fleeing, but there was no turning back now. "Quack," came a small voice, as Finn kicked Gunter.

"Sorry little man, didn't see you. Hey, do you know where the Shard of Winter is?"

"Quack"

"I'll follow you then!"

Gunter led Finn through what seemed like miles of icy, snaking paths underneath the castle. Sounds of princesses came from various doors, but all were misleading, for when Finn kicked the door down, it was only kinky tapes Ice King had recorded. Gunter finally stopped before a large wooden door.

"Quack"

"Got it, Gunts. It must be in here," Finn realized, before bursting through. On the other side lay a throne fit for only the scummiest of royalty, Ice King himself. And there he sat, casting magical icy lightning bolts into the sky, combatting some unseen threat. "Gunter!" shouted Finn in anger, "You led me straight to Ice King. I thought we were pals!"

"Oh, hello my handsome prince~" came the voice of the king of ice. "So nice of you to come visit, although I do wish you hadn't come on such short notice. My kingdom's in a bit of a wreck as you can see. Stupid Flame Princess is laying siege to all that I own because I may or may not have attempted to freeze over the entire Fire Kingdom."

"Ice King, you'll pay for your crimes! But first, tell me where the Shard of Winter is!"

"Well, teehee, funny story. That's kinda why I'm trying to destroy the Fire Kingdom. See those losers came in and took my Shard. It went missing a few days ago and only the Fire Kingdom would have any use for my poor wittle shardy-wardy. Oh please Finn, won't you go and kill them all for me and get me my precious back?"

"Gross, get OFF of me old man! I'll get your precious shard, but not for you. And I won't kill anyone. I'm not part of your war, I only want the shard."

With that, Finn trekked to the Fire Kingdom. It was scalding hot, and without Flame Princess' protection, the heat nearly killed him. The flame guards recognized him and let him through to the throne room, which he stumbled into. "Please Flame Princess, I need the Shard of Winter. If you could give it to me, I promise I'd return it."

"Oh what a surprise to see you here, Finn. I wouldn't be surprised if YOU stole the shard to watch us fight again. Isn't that what you want, you disgusting liar?"

"I'm sorry FP, I just needed to know what my dream was. I know it was wrong but I thought it would help me better know who I am."

"Whatever Finn, we're through. If you really didn't steal the shard, then I'm just not sure who did. Ice King blames us, but he'll come up with any excuse to start a war. If I had a guess, I'd say it's up on Mount Cragdor, which recently froze over, in spite of being a volcano. I'd check their if you want your shard."

"Thanks Flame Princess! I'll make you proud, I swear!"

"But I didn't ask for-"

"Istillloveyou…"

"What?!"

And with that, Finn was gone. He raced toward Mount Cragdor, weary from his arduous running all day. He peered down into the mouth of the volcano to see a large crystalline ice structure, along with Party Bears dancing around it and skating on the ice formed from the frozen volcano. Lasers beamed into the Shard, casting thousands of beautiful lights to dance across the sky.

"Party Pat, what's the meaning of this?" panted Finn.

"Shh, you are too tired to know what your words mean. You must eat of Party Pancakes to replenish your energy. Come, rejuvenate yourself with partying, Finn," replied Party Pat smoothly.

After some delicious pancakes, Finn was ready to negotiate for the shard. "Alright Pat, I need that shard."

"I apologize Finn but that just won't do. You see, we Party Bears were created for one purpose and one purpose only: to party. This shard of yours casts such brilliance with the lasers we focus on it. Not only that, but after stealing it, fireworks have started arcing across the sky as the Ice and Fire Kingdoms wage war. Their beams of magical energy are the perfect fuel for parties. Returning it would end all of that, and kill the buzz."

"Party Pat, give me the shard! RAAAH!" yelped Finn as he pulled out his sword.

"You act with fiery vigor, but your actions are hollow. You have no intent to harm. I am sorry Finn but there is no way we will give up our magnificent shard. Unless," Party Pat's eyes lit up as he realized a solution, "Unless you bring us fireworks crafted from a demon's heart and gunpowder made of solid gold explosive powder, crafted by the finest blind man in the world."

"I… what? Never mind. I accept your offer!" and with that, Finn set out on his quest. This was getting awfully complicated, what could PB be planning to do with such a thing?

Finn returned 3 hours later, task completed. "Alright Party Pat, I've done what you asked of me. I couldn't find the finest blind man in the world, but I found a guy who was blind in one eye and colorblind, I hope that works."

"Ah, thank you, sweet Finn," mumbled Party Pat, setting the explosive alight. "This thing, it is the most beautiful thing in the world. This easily replaces what we lost with the shard."

"Speaking of the Shard, hand it over Pat. I get it fair and square."

"Oh, well see Finn, while you were away, it was stolen right from under our noses. We're not sure who, because we were too in the zone to notice anyone entering our midst."

"omfg im literally so done pumpkin spice latte cant even"

Finn cried as he sat on the edge of Mt. Cragdor. He had no leads, how could he possibly scour the whole world searching for one person and one shard? He felt a cold, yet warm hand reach around his shoulder.

"You can cry on me if you want, boy."

"Ice King! Gross!"

"Hey, that's no way to treat your new boyfriend."

"No way Ice King, this isn't happening, you're gross!"

"Wait, wait, let me talk. You see, I get your pain. It's hard to deal with all this, especially when no one else wants to help you. Story of my life pal. But together, we can help each other, through it all. I love you Finn."

"Ice King, no. I will never love you."

"It hurts Finn but I know you only say this to cover up deep emotional trauma. I will always be here for you." Ice King kissed Finn's cheek and flew away. Finn was really grossed out and washed his face with hot lava.

Finn swallowed his pride and decided to return to Princess Bubblegum to admit his failure. He walked up the steps of the castle, fearful to see PB's disappointed face. He saw lights flashing in the castle tower, and ran there quickly to see what was going on.

"AHAHAAHA! Yes! Yes! I've done it!"

"Done what PB?" asked Finn.

"Ah, Finn, so glad you could join me. You see, one of my candy people died, and this is something I cannot accept as princess of this kingdom. I took it upon myself to bring him back. He is a very unique candy person, requiring much more frosty energy to bring back than a normal candy person. For you see, the deceased is none other than Rootbeer Float Guy."

"Wait, so you didn't need the Shard after all?!"

"I did Finn, but once it was out of Ice King's grasp, I had my gumball knight steal it under the Party Bears' noses. I'm sorry I didn't inform you Finn, but I had no way of letting you know. I hope you understand."

Rootbeer Float Guy's hand rose up from the side of the large basin. He pulled himself over, and Finn braced himself for a disgusting zombie like the first attempt he helped with. He pulled himself over the lip of the cauldron and flipped over it. He landed on the floor hard, but there was not even a crack in his glass. "Hello Finn! And, gasp, Princess Bubblegum! You're alive, thank Glob!" Rootbeer Float Guy ran over to the princess and kissed her hand. "I was worried sick that after I died something might have happened to you!"

Princess Bubblegum blushed. "As you've just seen after Rootbeer Float Guy just busted his buns, I've reinforced his glass to be nearly indestructible. Now the Candy Kingdom will have the law enforcement it needs, and we won't suffer an incident like last time!"

Suddenly the roof of the tower caved in. Ice King floated in the air in the newly formed gap. "Alright Bubblegum, give me back my shard you stole! And while I'm here, I may as well capture you and take you home with me, my sweet." Ice King lunged forward to seize Princess Bubblegum's hand.

"Banana Guards!" shouted Rootbeer Float Guy.

"Ugh, get OFF of me, Ice King!" Princess Bubblegum shouted as she swatted at Ice King. He ducked, but she managed to knock his crown off.

Simon started to regain sanity, and his old form was taking shape. He was no longer Ice King without his magical crown, and was a regular human. Bonnibel gasped as she realized who Ice King was. Though Finn had helped Simon before, Princess Bubblegum had yet to see who he really was. She bent down towards Simon, who was kneeling on the ground, weak from his lost power.

"B-Betty?" he whispered, as he looked into the face of his long-lost love.

"I remember," realized Bubblegum. "Simon, is it really you?" Tears formed in her eyes as she met the gaze of her fiancée.

"It's been so long, Betty. I'd almost forgotten how beautiful your eyes are. Your body has changed so much, but I'd never mistake my soul mate."

Princess Bubblegum, realizing her true identity as Betty, embraced Simon. Confused, Finn awkwardly asked, "Uh, am I missing something here?"

Princess Bubblegum stood up, and wiped the tears of joy from her eyes. "You see Finn, and I suppose you don't know either, Simon. Long ago, in the times of the Mushroom War, Simon obtained the crown that now lies on the floor. It gave him great power, at the cost of his humanity. Taking the crown from him would never be enough to save him from its influence, and so I left him in search of some power to save him from the crown. I could not let him know, as he would never let me do something so dangerous, and the crown would most likely force him to kill me if it knew my intent. And so I fled the city. Soon after, the bomb was announced. I had no time to escape its impact, so I did the only thing I could. I was in an abandoned candy store at the time, scrounging for supplies in a ghost town. Everyone had fled long ago due to a strange magical being, and so I attempted to contact it in hopes of a cure for Simon. I found the only thing I could use to protect myself, shelves stored with bubblegum. I chewed it up loads of it, enough to encase my entire body. I wrapped it around myself when the bomb fell, in hopes of protection from the blast and radiation. While neither the blast nor the radiation ended my life, the radiation caused rapid fusion on the cellular level with the gum. This is how I ended up as I am now."

"Woah what?! So THAT'S why Ice King was so obsessed with you. Through all of his grimy, disgusting old-man-ness, he still knew who you were!" exclaimed Finn.

"Yes, and I apologize very dearly, Betty. I never meant to hurt you, I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me, my love!" begged Simon.

"Oh Simon, of course I forgive you, my love! It wasn't you who did all of those misdeeds, it was your crown. You had no control over yourself!" Betty sympathized. "Oh, and Simon…"

"Yes, my princess?"

"You have a daughter. I never had time to tell you, but after I fled, she slowly developed, and after giving birth, I had to let her be raised by the doctor who helped with the birth. I couldn't raise her with the live I chose to live, searching for your cure. Doctor Princess is your daughter. I only wish I had known who you were sooner, Simon. Imagine the lives we could be living now if only I had known!"

"Don't fret, Betty! What matters is now! We can live that life now that we know who we are. Don't worry about the past, it's gone."

"But wait," called Finn. "With Ice King, I mean Simon's, crown gone, won't he start dying?"

"Oh my, you're right Finn!" replied Princess Bubblegum. "Unless… Yes of course! The candification process! Simon, I can immortalize you, but you'll have to become candy. It's the only way, at least with modern science."

Ice King grabbed Bubblegum's hand. "Anything for you, my sweet," he answered.

"Hey, I just realized something!" called out Rootbeer Float Guy, who was still present. "If I hadn't died, you two would never have gotten back together. What a great thing, if you think about it!"