DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia or Linkin Park….or do I? No. I do not.
A/N:I just want to say, I thought of this while doing my homework and listening to music. I don't think I ever finished my homework. This is also my first time writing for Hetalia, so I am very sorry if it sucks.
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Russia shot up in his bed, his heart racing. Beads of cold sweat trickled down his unusually bare neck. He was panting and was breathing as if had run a marathon. His right hand grasped his chest where his heart lied. As his arm escaped from under his blanket, the room was so abnormally cold. He kept his room warm, due to the promises he always made himself of resting on a warm sandy beach in the South, which he would invade.
He had to find Lithuania…
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
'cause no one else cared
The big boned man stumbled from his bedroom, still groggy from sleep, and still in his nighttime attire due to him getting up in the middle of the night and Lithuania not having time to lay out his clothes. Not that he cared, he just had to tell him…
He found Lithuania still on the one couch he sits on, reading the same book as always. One of the few left in his own Lithuanian language. He nearly jumped out of his skin from the fright the shirtless Russia gave him.
"R-Russia, sir, d-do you need s-something?" Lithuania said, trying to recover from the shock.
"Lithuania, no- Toris, please promise me something." Russia's face practically begged.
"Of course, Russia Sir, within reason of course" Lithuania answered, strangely calm.
"I had nightmare. That I was gone, disappeared, vanished with no trace!" Russia sat next to Lithuania on the couch "You were panicking like your usual self, but then I saw you were panicking over the fact that I was gone, you didn't know what to do… you tried to get help, but no one else gave damn that I was gone. They pretended as if I never existed… and that they were better off without me" Russia finished, wiping his eyes.
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving?
When I'm done here?
Lithuania opened his mouth to speak; he didn't mind voicing his opinions when Russia was more sane then usual, the conversation never ended badly. But Russia continued, he wasn't done, and even with sane Russia, he knew better then to interrupt him.
"Then I woke up from dream, breathing heavy and terrified that I would become no more. And I have to ask you, my dear Toris, what AM I leaving, if I do disappear? Who will remember me, what will be left behind? The good things that I did? Or the bad?"
So if you're asking me I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
"So, Toris, if you're even slightly curious, I want you to know something" It was obvious Toris wouldn't get a word in edge wise
"Toris, if I am to disappear…. I want you to do me one small favour. I want you to forget all the bad things I did to you. I know I did horrible things to you, and your people. I treated them like trash, enforced Russian influence, took all there books that carried the Lithuanian language… but more importantly. I want you to help me leave behind a reason, even if it's small one, I want reason to be missed by the others. I don't want to be forgotten."
And don't resent me
For when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Lithuania nodded, a silent promise, he could never forget Russia. Sure he did some bad things, but, most of all, he was a great friend, who loved sunflowers. He hugged Russia, trying to make him feel better. He could feel Russia's mood lighten.
"Please! Don't resent me! And if you feel alone, and scared, please, think of me! Take out all the bad! Take it away! Take it all away!"
Resent? Lithuania didn't think he ever felt that in his whole life. He didn't think he was capable of feeling bitterness towards another being. He could dislike them, but resent? No, that was foolish.
But, perhaps Russia meant to try and make the other nations not resent him? A lot of them dislike him already…
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shed but I'm me
Lithuania smiled and put a hand on Russia's shoulder. He was surprisingly brave that night
"Don't worry Russia. I could never forget you-"
"I left so many scars on your back…"
"But I can forget that. I might be mentally-" he refused to say physically "-traumatized from when we first met. But I'm still me, and you're still you.
I'm strong on the surface
But not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
Lithuania smiled at the fact that he was seeing Russia like this. He acts so strong, but he still has a soft inner core. The inner core that hates wars and loves the sun and sunflowers and warm weather and all that stuff!
"You're just so perfect, Toris, you don't need to worry about stuff like this. Everyone loves you. Your personality is just perfect…"
"I thank you for the compliment, but I'm most definitely not perfect. I worry to much and tend to depress myself and get a stomach ache. My personality is not perfect. And neither is yours." Lithuania said, happily, as if trying to lighten the mood.
Forgetting all the hurt inside
You learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are…
"You really think so?" Russia smiled and blushed slightly. He felt warm inside, like when he reached summer and the equinox took place. Sunflowers bloomed everywhere, children ran around playing in light clothing, not the heavy stuff they were accustomed to
to wearing due to the bitter cold that Russia received every year.
"Of course I think so. Nobody is perfect, we are all different, in our own special way~!" Lithuania grinned. He could feel Russia's worry that he'd be forgotten had left him.
"I know you're hurting inside, that you miss Poland-" how did this turn to Poland, Lithuania wondered
"- and, when I first took you, I could see that you missed him so much. I know you still do," Lithuania looked down, was Russia getting mad because he missed his friend? Or was he just sad?
"But you learned to hide the fact that you miss him. The others would have never guessed, but I know better." Is Russia going to strike him? He cautiously looked up, trying to calm down the shaking.
"I'm jealous really, you have someone to go to, to comfort you, and save you when your mind is falling into oblivion. To bring you out and hug you when you're crying. I want someone like that. I just can't be like you , even though I want to. You're so lovable and caring and so nice, no matter what… I just can't be who you are"
Lithuania pushed Russia's bed head-like hair behind his ear and gave him a small kiss.
"Do you not realize that is exactly who I am?" Lithuania said. "I will always be there with you, Ivan, to comfort you, and save you when your own corrupted mind tries to take over. I will bring out the old you, the you that I met on that snowy night when you were under the Tartars rule. The kind innocent boy that I met so long ago…"
"Do you promise?"
"I promise"
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So tell me what you think and review! Or you will be invaded by Prussia, or Spain, or France! Whoever you like the least! Did I portray the character's well? Russia's hard unless you know how to act like a cruel child...