Just a short snippet… this has actually been playing around in my head for a while now. Grindeldore flashback! My friend and I have an ongoing joke of "Speak German to me!" ever since she wrote a fantastic Grindeldore fic. So, naturally, when I heard this song, this is where my mind went. Enjoy! Jo Rowling owns everything of course (my heart, mind, and soul included) and Gaga of course owns this song… although I think Jo should get rights to that as well.
Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts, had decided to take a stroll around the castle after dinner to clear his head which was awfully full at the moment. He paused as he passed by one of the corridors leading off to the dormitories of the second year Ravenclaw girls. He had heard it again, that same music that had been coming from all around the castle. Curious, he popped his head into the room after answering the simple riddle the entrance posed to him, recognizing the dulcet tones of Lady Gaga.
"Excuse me," he asked politely, making the girls jump, startled, at the sudden appearance of their Headmaster, "what was it that that song just said?"
"Err," one of them began, biting her lip, "'I don't speak German but I can if you like. Ow'?"
"Ah," the professor said. He would have chuckled at the nervous, monotonous manner she had said the suggestive words in if his mind hadn't been reeling. "I see. I've been hearing it all around the castle and I'm quite afraid I didn't have the slightest idea what it was."
"It's Scheiße by Lady Gaga." One of the other girls volunteered, more courageous than she had been at first. It took the Headmaster a moment to register that the girl was simply reciting a song title and wasn't actually swearing in another language.
He smiled at them. "Much obliged. Now, I have a number of things which need attending to, so I'll leave you all be. Rest assured, the frumpy old man is leaving now."
They each giggled, still unsure of the situation, as the Headmaster stepped out.
When Albus got back to his own quarters he played the song in its entirety by tapping several times upon an old Muggle record player. When he heard the pop singer whom he was quite fond of say "scheiße be mine" he groaned, burying his face in his hands and pacing his study.
Opening his closet door, he placed his wand to his temple and placed the silvery strand it extracted into a familiar basin. He watched as the memory replayed itself for him.
The two boys were, as usual, shut away in Albus' bedroom, surrounded by what appeared to be whole libraries worth of books. They sat on the bed, legs crossed, Gellert appearing to be entombed in a British school textbook, which Albus knew he couldn't be focusing on that much as he kept smirking up at him when he saw Albus glance over the top of his own book.
"Bah," Gellert said decidedly, slamming the book down on the bed. "I vill never find anything about Hallows in here. Ve did not have such silly textbooks at Durmstrang. Dies ist schieße."
Albus felt his eyebrows go up in surprise as a thought occurred to him that somehow hadn't before. "Gellert, can you speak German?"
Gellert rolled his eyes. "Ja, natürlich kann ich, Albus." 1
"Could you teach me? I've never learned another language before."
"Ja." Gellert said again. "Repeat what I say." Albus nodded.
"Mein name ist Albus."2 Gellert started easily enough. Albus repeated the words, not needing a translation for that. "Ich bin ein guter junge und ich habe immer das tun, was ich höre."3
"Ich bin ein gutter junge und…" Albus began, but then rethought it. "Er, what exactly am I saying?"
Gellert chuckled. "Mein bruder Aberforth liebt ziegen."4
Albus smiled. "Mein bruder Aberforth liebt ziegen." He said.
"Now say 'ich liebe dich.'"5 The blond boy instructed.
"Ich liebe dich." He repeated dutifully.
The grin that stretched across Gellert's face at that, to be honest, frightened him. "What?" he asked nervously. "What did I say?"
"Oh nothing." Gellert answered, grin still in place.
"Gelle…" he begged, with an attempt to sound threatening. None too surprisingly, it didn't work. The other boy laughed at him.
"I love you." Gellert said.
Albus blushed. "That was slightly out of place, but I love you, too."
Again, Gelle simply laughed. "No, Albus. It is what you said. 'Ich liebe dich' means 'I love you.'"
"Oh." He replied, blushing even further but refusing to look down at the bedspread. He smiled at the curly haired boy sitting across from him. "Ich liebe dich."
Gellert grinned again. "Ich liebe dich, auch," he said before leaning forward to place his lips on Albus' and forcefully push him into the mattress.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed that, I just always think of these two whenever I hear that song… Here are the translations for what Gelle has Albus say in German, corresponding with the subscript numbers that are in there. I just used Google translator for these, so I apologize if they're a bit off!
Yes, of course I can, Albus.
My name is Albus.
I am a good little boy and always do what I am told.
My brother Aberforth loves goats.
I love you.
(I think he did quite well not making Albus say anything too too bad, all things considered.)