6

I can't love him; he is insane. I hadn't yet figured out exactly what happened on Halloween but I knew it was abnormal at the very least. All of this went through my head as I lied in bed, unable to relax enough to fall asleep. Suddenly, I heard the floor creak and I sat up.

"Who's there?" I called out into the dark room, unable to mask the terror in my voice.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I heard a familiar voice reply, "can I sit down?"

I didn't even have time to reply to his request when I felt the indent on my mattress and heard the creak from the pressure on the bedframe that Tate's body induced. I felt a pain in my eyes as he switched on the lamp next to my bed.

"What do you want?" I ask while rubbing my tired eyes with the back of my hands.

Once my eyes adjusted, I intently observed the boy I had just been thinking about. He sat sideways on my bed, his face towards the wall. His eyes were downcast, quietly studying his hands. From this angle, I could see the slight upward curve of his nose and the perfect pout of his lips. He really was attractive, in a tortured and self-deprecating sort of way. He was a contradiction in so many ways: adorable but terrifying, innocent but sociopathic, romantic but intense. I hated to admit it, because I always had touted my lack fear in most aspects of my life, but he scared me. But even with all the fear he incited in me, I still craved his company. Although I wasn't sure if I truly believed it, he seemed to have changed. I was snapped out of my internal dialogue when he finally spoke.

"I want you, Violet." He whispered, just loud enough for me to hear it.

He turned his body towards me, staring at me with his wide brown eyes. I furrowed my brow and adverted my eyes from his. He couldn't expect me to forget the time on the beach when he rejected me. It took a lot of nerve for me to tell him that I wanted him, and I didn't understand why he couldn't "perform." After that, I had decided that he must have just been toying with my emotions, for whatever strange reason. He scooted over until his leg was touching me. I looked up at his face, which was close to mine now, and he smiled weakly.

"I don't think that you really do, considering how you reacted when I told you that I wanted you last time," I murmured. "You have some serious issues that I think you need to figure out."

"Please," he pleaded, his face pained. "I have never loved anybody in my life, Violet. You're the only person that I care about."

I could tell he was about to cry and the wall inside me started to fall. I couldn't pretend that I didn't love him anymore. It wasn't worth fighting. He might have been a lunatic psychopath, but I had to accept him for all that he was or reject him. In that moment, I chose to accept him. I lifted my hand and placed it on his cheek, leaning towards him. He closed his eyes and softly pressed his lips to mine. I inhaled his scent, remembering the first time he had kissed me in the basement and again on the beach. This time was different though, probably because I was finally able to admit that I loved him more than my body could handle. He was interrupting and overtaking my entire soul, causing me to feel more than I had ever felt before. He broke away from our kiss, pushing me down onto the bed and laying himself on top of me. I sighed as he moved his mouth to my neck, gently sucking on the skin before kissing his way down to my collarbone. I shivered as I felt his soft breath on my neck. He laughed and I felt a blush spread across my face. He brought his face back up to mine, smiling at me in a devilish manner.

"You're blushing," he whispered, clearly amused by my bodily reaction to him.

"Shut up," I replied, covering my face with my hands.

Tate kissed my left hand, first in the center of my palm and then outwards on each of my fingers. He then moved to my right hand, repeating each individual kiss. I finally smiled, unable to hold it back any longer, and uncovered my face. I touched his shaggy blonde hair and slowly ran my fingers through it. He shut his eyes and sighed, enjoying the way my hands moved through his thick hair. I lifted my head off my pillow and attached my mouth to his neck. My lips moved over the expanse of his neck, becoming more frenzied as I heard his breathing become labored. I moved my hands down around his chest and sucked hard on the hollow of his throat.

"Stop Violet," he exclaimed. "I need a second to cool off."

"It's okay," I replied, removing my lips from his neck and looking up at him. "You don't need to cool off, I like it."

The intense look in his eyes quickly melted away into a smile. He ran his hand over his eyes and pushed his hair out of his face. I gazed up at him, focusing on his full lips. They were so soft and gentle. He noticed my intrigue and pressed his lips to mine once again, slipping his tongue into my mouth as I allowed him access. As he explored my mouth with his tongue, I began to massage it with my own tongue. I felt his hand travel down to my chest, brushing across my breast and settling on my ribcage. He then moved it farther down, journeying under my shirt to my breast, which he squeezed lightly. My heart began to beat quickly, prompting Tate to stop and detach his mouth from mine.

"Is this okay?" He asked, looking nervous and worried that he had crossed a line.

I nodded my head enthusiastically, desperate for his touch. He grinned and resumed caressing me, bringing his lips back to mine. I felt a heat moving over my body as he placed his free hand on my other breast. I had never felt so strange before; it was like there was a fire growing beneath my skin. My head was started getting cloudy as he proceeded to lift my shirt off entirely. I helped him, and then reached down to the hem of his shirt to take his off too. He lifted his arms over his head and I threw his sweater off of the bed onto the floor. He hovered over me, and slid down the bed until he was at level with my chest. He kissed my breasts, one at a time, and placed his lips onto my left nipple. A gasp slipped out of my mouth as he sucked on my nipple, flicking it with his tongue.

"Please touch me, Tate." I exclaimed, unable to mask the urgency in my voice.

He moved off of me and lied on his side next to me, propping himself up with his elbow. He placed his hand on my stomach, stroking me lightly. I shut my eyes and laid my head back. He then removed his hand and placed it between my legs, outside of my jeans. He rubbed me with his fingers, tickling me slightly. I giggled and placed my hand on top of his, prompting him to rub harder. I quickly sat up and unbuttoned my pants, pulling them off my legs and tossing them off the bed. When I lay back down on the bed, Tate began where he left off, only this time it was through my underwear. He pushed his middle finger in my opening slightly. Finally he moved his hand up to the waistband of my underwear and slid his hand inside, over my hair and down to my clitoris. He gently circled my clit with his finger before placing one of his long fingers inside of me. I sighed, turning my face to kiss him deeply. He deftly moved in and out of me, causing me a tiny bit of pain but it didn't hurt, it felt good. I ran my hands down his broad shoulders, clutching at him. I moved my hands down his bare chest to his stomach. He was lean but not really muscular. I reached down and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling the zipper down while I was at it. He used his free hand to help him kick off his jeans, leaving him in only his boxers. I glanced down to see if he was aroused, but was disappointed to see that he wasn't. He noticed my disappointment and attempted to distract me by plastering his mouth to my breast. I moaned loudly as he curved his finger and moved it farther inside me.

"Shhhhh," He whispered as he covered my mouth with his hand. "You'll wake up your parents."

I glared at him and he laughed, amused by my frustration with him. He pulled his hand off my mouth and removed his finger from me. Before I could protest, he kissed me and began drifting his mouth down my body slowly, savoring every part of my body. He ran his hands up the sides of my thigh, to my hips, then up to my ribs. Then he repeated this in opposite order, shifting his body downwards along with his hands. He pressed his mouth to my inner thigh, gently nipping me with his teeth. I felt like I was going to pass out, the heat in the bottom of my stomach grew to the point that I couldn't stand it anymore. I exhaled as he moved closer to my center and finally settled between my legs. He kissed me through my underwear, teasing me with his tongue. Unable to wait any longer, I sat up and sidled out of my underwear, lying back once I was totally naked. He kissed my thigh one last time before pressing his lips to my labia. He moved his tongue up along my outer lips to my clitoris, circling it softly before moving his tongue down to my opening and slipping it inside me. My I could no longer control my breathing; suddenly it became rapid and more audible. He continued probing me with his tongue, eventually licking and kissing back up to my clit once again. He encircled it with his mouth, sucking softly at first but then harder as I sighed loudly. I ran my hand through his hair, pulling it slightly. He moved one of his hands off of my hips, bringing it between my legs and sliding one of his fingers deep inside me. He stroked my inner wall, creating a friction deep inside me. I cried out his name in ecstasy, feeling the pressure down between my legs grow and expand until I finally exploded. He kissed me one last time, the moved up the bed so that he was on top of me.

"Thank you," I murmured, a smile glued to my glowing face. "I really want you."

"I don't know," He replied, adverting his eyes from mine. "I don't think I can do it, the meds are still making me kind of weird."

Before I had time to reply to him, I heard a knock at my door.

"Violet?" I heard my mother exclaim. "Can I come in?"

"One second, Mom!" I cried, "I'm not dressed!"

"You have to go," I whispered. "See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow, Violet." Tate whispered back. "I love you."

I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my lips to his once more. He then jumped off the bed, throwing on his clothes as fast as possible and climbing out my window. And just like that, he was gone.