A/N: Alright, I had to… it was just to epic not to… if you want to see the video, go here: .com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw

The Seireitei Lunch Room

Captain Kenpachi Zaraki had just walked into the Seireitei Lunch Room for a typical boring lunch of a random food he pulled out of the recesses of his mind. Great, today the server was that Hanatarō kid from Squad Four. "I will have the penne a la arabiata." He said walking up to the table.

"You'll need a tray." Hanatarō said.

"Do you know who I am?" Kenpachi asked

"Do you know who I am?"

"This is not a game of who the fuck are you. For I am Zaraki. Kenpachi Zaraki. Lord Zaraki. I can kill you with a single change in my spiritual pressure!"

"Well you'll still need a tray."

"No I will not need a tray. I do not need a tray to kill you. I can kill you without a tray, with the power of my reiatsu- which is strong within me - even though I could kill you with a tray if I so wished. For I would hack at your neck with the thin bit until the blood flowed across the Lunch Room floor…"

"No, the food is hot. You'll need a tray to put the food on."

"Oh I see, the food is hot. I'm sorry I, I did not realize. Hah hah! I thought you were challenging me to a fight to the death."

"Fight to the death? This is the Lunch Room, I work here."

"Yes, but I am Zaraki, I am Lord Zaraki. Everyone challenges me to a fight to the death. Lord Zaraki. Kenpachi Zaraki, I am Kenpachi Zaraki, Lord Zaraki. Sir Lord Zaraki, Sir Lord Kenpachi Zaraki. Lord Kenpachi Sir Lord Zaraki of Cheam. Sir Lord Baron von Zarakiham. Squad Eleven. I run Squad Eleven."

"What's Squad Eleven?"

"Squad Eleven, the strongest Squad there is. You're afraid of Squad Eleven. I run this Squad."

"You run a Squad?"

"Yes I run a fucking Squad - I run it. I'm your superior."

"You're Unohana?"

"No, I'm… who is Unohana?"

"She's Captain of Squad Four."

"I'm not Captain of Squad Four! I am Zaraki. I can kill Squad Four with a change in my spiritual pressure."

"What?"

"I can kill you all. I can kill me with a change in reiatsu. Just… I'll get a tray, fuck it!" Kenpachi went to get a tray, going through them all. "This one's wet, and this one's wet, and this one's wet. This one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet. Did you dry these in a rain forest? Why, with the power of Squad Eleven, do we not have a tray that is fucking dry? I do not…" Ichigo stepped in front of Kenpachi in line. "No, no, no. I was here first."

"You have to form a queue if you want food. Can I have, oh, penne a la arabiata, that looks nice." Ichigo asked, picking something random as well.

"No, no, no. D'you know who I am?"

"That's Ikkaku Zaraki, that is." Hanatarō said, nodding in Kenpachi's direction.

"I am not Ikkaku Zaraki, I am Kenpachi Zaraki."

"What, Ikkaku Zaraki runs Squad Eleven?"

"No, Ikkaku… No, I run Squad Eleven."

"You Ikkaku Zaraki?"

"No, I'm Kenpachi Zaraki!"

"Are you his brother? Can you get his autograph?" Ichigo asked, holding out a piece of paper.

"I can't get it… No, I'm… All right, I'm Ikkaku Zaraki! I'm Ikkaku Zaraki!"

"Can I have your autograph?" Ichigo asked, his eyes shining passionately.

"No, fuck off, or I'll kill you with a tray! Give me penne a la arabiata or you shall die. And you, and everyone in this Lunch Room! Death by tray it shall be!"

A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ahh…. I love this video, and Bleach, and I could totally see this happening…

Please R&R!