Childhood Innocence
by Psychotic
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
I sat on the small park bench, my eyes watching the children play
I sat on the small park bench, my eyes watching the children play. I missed that so much: the childish innocence, the feeling of everything being so big, thinking that this would forever be how it would be.
I would never be able to have a child of my own, to watch them grow up as they discovered more and more of the world, to be a mother to them. I had children, but those weren't mine; they hadn't come from me. They had been adopted. My sister's doctor discovered cancer in her brain and there wasn't anything they could do. My sister had asked me to take her twins, Edward and Emmett, as she had had no husband, and I had agreed. I did, after all, love them very much.
Both of the boys were four, and I was twenty-six. My sister had been my twin, as well. Twins ran in the family, apparently. She had died three years before, and the boys barely remembered their real mother. I was "mommy" to them, and I always would be.
But again, they hadn't come from me. They had come from my sister.
When I was nineteen, I had accidentally gotten pregnant by my long-time boyfriend, Charles. The baby had been conceived in my fallopian tube, however, and I got very sick. I was admitted to the hospital, and during surgery, my tube burst. In order to save my life, they had to remove my whole reproductive system. I could never have my own children.
A little bronze-haired boy ran up, his emerald eyes sparkling. Another boy, bigger and with darker hair, followed. "Mommy, Mommy!" the first boy exclaimed.
"Yes, Edward?"
"I found a new friend! His name is Jasper and he has a twin sister named Rosalie! They're twins just like me and Em!"
I laughed. "Yes, they are, aren't they?"
Edward pulled on my hand. "Come on, Mommy! Come meet them!"
I stood up and followed him over to where two little blonde children were playing. "Jasper, Rose! This is my mommy!"
The little boy stood up and shook my hand, saying, "It's nice to meet you, ma'am." I smiled at him, trying not to laugh.
"It's nice to meet you, too. You must be Jasper."
"Hi, Mrs. Edward and Emmett's Mommy!" the little girl exclaimed, waving. I could tell she would grow up to be such a beauty.
"Hello," I greeted. "And you should be Rosalie."
The two blondes grinned at the fact that I had recognized them.
"I'm going to go sit back down, alright kids? You have fun. Come and get me if you need anything." They all nodded, going back to playing.
I sat back down on the small park bench, my eyes watching the children play. I missed being a child. I wanted to be able to have fun and laugh and play around. I did that with the boys, but… it wasn't the same.
I didn't realize that I had started crying until someone sat down next to me and put an arm around my shoulders. A honey voice said, "Why are you crying?"
I looked up with teary eyes and into the blue depths of the man's. He was gorgeous. Perfect, sun-kissed blonde hair waved down to his ears. His skin was pale, but it wasn't anything next to mine. He had sharp features at first glance, but the lines were softer when I studied them. He was smiling at me, his teeth beautifully white. He could have been a movie star.
"I… I'm not sure."
He squeezed my shoulders. "Well, why don't you just let it all out? I'm right here."
It was that one statement that caused me to break down into sobs against his chest. In the last three years, it hadn't felt like anyone had been there for me. My sister had died, and I had to be strong for the twins. I was all alone, and no one was around to help me out. Then this man, this total stranger, comes up and says that he's there. It was the best thing anyone could have said to me.
It was a bit longer before I surfaced, sniffling and done crying. He handed me a handkerchief – a handkerchief! Who carries those anymore? – and I wiped my face dry. "Thank you," I murmured.
"You're welcome. It wasn't any problem. I'm Carlisle, by the way. Carlisle Cullen."
I smiled weakly at him. "I'm Esme Platt. It's nice to meet you. I appreciate you letting me cry all over your shirt. Now it's all wet."
Carlisle chuckled. "That's alright. I don't mind."
Emmett and Edward came running up then, jumping into my lap. "Mommy!" Emmett said. "Are you okay? You were crying!"
I hugged them and answered, "I'm fine, boys. Meet Carlisle. He helped me feel better."
"Hello, Mr. Carlisle," the boys said in unison. Carlisle smiled.
"Hello. It's nice to meet you…"
"Edward and Emmett," Edward said, pointing to himself then Emmett.
"Edward and Emmett." Carlisle shook each of their hands politely. I knew the boys liked it. They enjoyed feeling like adults. I, on the other hand, still wished I was a child.
"Daddy!"
I looked over to see Rosalie and Jasper running to Carlisle. He stood and scooped them up in his arms. "You met Mrs. Edward and Emmett's Mommy."
"Ms.," I corrected. "I'm not married." I felt the need to add that in for Carlisle's sake. "Who's their mother? She must be beautiful."
"She was," Carlisle said. "She ran out on me, though, and left me with these two monsters." He tickled the twins, who shrieked in laughter. I smiled, but quickly turned it into a frown, remembering Carlisle's explanation.
"I'm sorry about that," I said.
Carlisle shrugged. "Don't worry about it. We weren't in love, but we thought we were. I realized that it wasn't real as soon as she left."
"Oh."
"And who was their father?"
"Oh, um… I'm not sure. They were my sister's babies, but she died from cancer when they were one, so I took them in."
"I'm so sorry." He looked genuinely sympathetic for me, and I smiled in response.
"It's alright. I love these two. I don't know what I'd do without them." And it was completely true.
"Daddy, I wanna go home…" Rosalie whined.
Carlisle sighed. "Alright, alright, I'll take you home… Let's get going, kids. Esme, can I… maybe have your number?"
I smiled happily. Carlisle Cullen, the gorgeous man with the gorgeous twins, wanted my phone number! I pulled out a slip of paper from my purse and wrote my cell and home number down on it, labeling each. I handed it to him.
"I'll call you soon," he promised before walking off with Jasper and Rosalie.
I watched them go for a moment before I felt a tugging on my skirt. Edward was there. "Mommy, let's go, let's go! I wanna play a game before I have to go to sleep!"
Smiling, I stood up, grabbing one of the twin's hands in each of mine. I loved these two so much. If they weren't there, I probably would have killed myself years ago.
A/N: It is undetermined as to whether this will be a oneshot or not. If I get enough feedback asking me to continue it, then I just might. I would really appreciate reviews, considering I worked very hard on this. I'm proud of it.
Psychotic Female of Many Names
08.25.08