Kiss Me
By OracleVortex
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Disclaimer: I own nothing. How depressing.
This is reluctant guy/guy, so if you don't like it or don't appreciate it, then I think you clicked on the wrong story and you should go back.
Also, this is a new approach to a fic! Whereas some are purely description, this is purely dialogue. I think that I would rather have you imagine what is happening, rather than I describe it to you. Hee! It'll be more fun that way!
And before we are all swamped by The Wind Walker fics, I would like to announce that Kadros The Minion of Time and I are currently co-writing a Majora's Mask fic together. Yay! I will be announcing this in a bunch of things, and I assume that he will be as well, but I would hope that you all take a look at it when it comes out. :) It would be very much appreciated.
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"AIEE! It's HIM! Draco Malfoy!!"
"Oh my God! He is so HOT!"
"After him! He's going into the gardens!"
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" THUMP. "Damn the rain!"
"Hey! Psst! Malfoy!"
"Where-never mind… What do you bloody well want, Potter? Can't you see I'm running in fear, here?"
"Well, yeah. Hide here!"
"Hide wher—"
"Drakey! Drakey, where did you go?"
"He is so HOT!"
"Rumour has it that Oliver Wood's broomstick longer than yours! Is it true?"
"Oh SH-"
"Shut up!"
"Now where did that little dragon go?"
"Aww. He's gone…"
"Darnit all…maybe he went back to the castle!"
"Yeah!"
…
…
…
"Okay, I think they're gone."
"Gods help me, but…thank you, Potter."
"Don't make a habit of it."
"I won't. But I do want to know why you were in the gardens with an invisibility cloak."
"Preventing what almost happened to you."
"Damn you Potter."
"Suck it up, Malfoy. I happen to like seeing you get glomped."
"Oh? Not quite the straightest wand, are we? Well, well…"
"Shut up. You know that's not what I meant."
"Sure…Dragon's Teeth! It's starting to storm!"
"Oh CRAP! My cloak!"
"Damn your butterfingers! It's blowing away!" CRACK! "Holy—lightning!"
"Ah! I lost it! Merlin! That was my father's!"
"I really don't think he's in any position to be angry at you."
"SHUT UP, Malfoy!"
"Is that Harry Potter?"
"OH! I just LOVE his eyes!"
"I bet he needs help to dry off!"
"What a coincidence! So do we!"
"Oh snitches."
"Well, you're screwed, aren't you?"
"Don't sound so bloody pleased. This is so unfair…"
"Oh stuff it."
"Easy for you to say, your fans are already inside."
Sigh. "I know I'm going to regret this…"
"Regret what?"
"Pretend we're snogging. You know…boyfriend like."
"Snogging? Now who's the straightest wand?"
"Shut up, Potter. You know, I wouldn't even entertain this idea, normally, let alone go through with it…"
"But…"
"But a Malfoy always repays favors. Dammit."
"Perhaps I should just surrender to the pack."
"Haaaaarrrrrryyyy! It's Matilda!"
"And Clara!"
"And Cerise!"
"Come out and play with us!"
"OH snitches…it's the Watson Triplets."
"Gods, from Hufflepuff? The ones who know martial arts?"
"Yeah. Merlin, I'm done for."
"Not yet."
"I am not going to kiss you, you perv."
"Think about it! It will keep the triplets away, and it'll keep my fans away. It's a win-win!"
"I think you want this."
"Hell no! It's just that I owe you one and I hate the fact that I do! Just get this over with and we can go back to hating each other and pretending it didn't happen."
"Look! I see someone!"
"Shit, Malfoy, I really don't want to do this."
"And you think I do? Listen, this must be done, don't you agree?"
"I think that you're waterlogged…but I'm warning you…any tongue and—"
"If it comes to that, I'll be the first to curse myself."
"Not if my wand's out first."
"Now, Potter, is that really appropriate?"
"You know, I'm really starting to rethink the public assumption that you're straight…"
"Oh shut up and kiss me alr--!"
"Harry! Har—Harry?"
"Oh my God. Who is he kissing?"
"I don't know! It's a blonde though!"
"He has a girlfriend!"
"Oh my…"
"This isn't fair!"
…
"Bleargh. I've known camels that kiss better."
"Which makes me wonder about your love life…"
"Oh shut up."
"Are they gone?"
"Yeah. If you'll excuse me, I'm going inside. I'm cold, wet and disgusted."
"It was your idea."
"Prick."
"Git."
"Prat."
"Brat."
…
…
…
"Hah. Entrance to the dunge—"
"IT'S DRACO!"
"Draco! Oh Drakey!!"
"Back up! Back up!"
"Why? They're after you!"
"You owe me!"
"I do not!"
"Yes you do! They only saw Harry snogging with a girl in the gardens! Time to return the favor!"
"I think not! I am not kissing you again!"
"You damn well better! We agreed!"
"We did not!"
"Did so!"
"Did not!"
"Did so!"
"Did n--!"
Gasp. "Draco!"
"Kissing…"
"…a girl!"
"We're too late!"
Weeping.
…
"Okay, okay, get off of me."
"Yuck. You so owe me."
"Hardly. All dues are paid."
"Bloody well in full."
"Let's not talk of this again."
"Or think of it. Ever."
"Agreed."
"And you owe me a new invisibility cloak."
"I do not!"
"I lost it saving your butt!"
"You should be glad. This is hardly a butt worth losing in the world."
…
…
…
"All right, I admit that was a bit queer."
"A bit?"
"Shut up, Potter."
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BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Draco: I hate it when you listen to Cain.
Harry: Who's Cain?
Me: One of my three muses.
Draco: You have muses, now?
Me: You bet. Cain's my hyper, sugar-high one.
Harry: Damn you Cain…
Heh. And the fact that I drank a litre of Pepsi and ate cinnamon buns (no raisins!) before writing this has nothing to do with it. Bwa. ;P
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