Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or any of its characters. I also do not own any of the materials referenced in this story either. This was made for entertainment purposes only and not for profit. So there you go.

A/N: Figured that if anyone else was going to write about this scenario sometime, it would be me. I was going through some current projects of my own, and decided to write this on a whim. Like my other works, this contains OOCness. Can't get enough of the stuff.

Hope you like it.

It all began and ended with a simple sentence.

"The tea is kinda bitter today," Haruhi remarked, staring down into her still-full cup from atop her little throne in the clubroom.

"...W-W-What?" Mikuru stuttered, spinning around quickly from her spot behind Haruhi's chair, once the statement reached her ears.

"I said the tea is sour, Mikuru. Not your best batch, if I had to make a guess. Brew up a fresh pot in a bit, okay?" The reality-warper went back to surfing the web.

The very words stung like the blows from a thousand arrows. Her tea..... sour? How could Haruhi be so cruel? It wasn't enough that she violated her body on a constant basis and dressed her in humiliating outfits... NOW she was insulting her craft? Her tea was sweeter than a basket of puppies, kittens, and ice-cream covered in sugar! Without her perfect tea-skills, what practical use did she have left to contribute in this big cruel world? It quickly occurred to her just how utterly insignificant her pitiful life was. Everyone probably talked about her behind her back or fantasized about her. Nothing more than a piece of steak to a pride of backstabbing, lecherous, vile lions. A small, but twisted smile appeared on her face- she'd hit rock bottom, and she was going to take down the whole freaking world with her into the murky depths if she could.

Setting down her tray on the small table, taking up her tea-pot in both trembling hands, Mikuru stalked over to the engrossed Haruhi in front of her trio of curious friends, and proceeded to dump the steaming contents of the container over her chief's head. Haruhi whipped her dripping head around, bearing an expression of pure shock, instead of anger or hate that one would have suspected. Everyone else stopped their normal activities and focused their attention on their leader and resident time-traveler, incredulous looks on their faces.

The two girls must have stared at each other for three minutes in total silence before Mikuru broke the tension.

"S-S-So my t-tea is sour, then? W-W-Well, then.... f-fuck you, Miss Suzumiya!" Mikuru said with her trademark stutter, her face and tone still holding her signature sweetness. ".......WOW! That felt so liberating! Fuck you! I should have said that months ago! Hee hee hee~! I think I'll go home a little early today, okay, everyone? Bye!"

Mikuru then proceeded to flounce out of the room with a spring in her step, humming a lively tune from some obscure anime she had watched the other day. Kyon, Itsuki, Yuki, and Haruhi all watched her go, jaws still lying on the dusty floor.

Needless to say, the universe exploded shortly after.

A/N: I personally think Mikuru is mentally-unstable. That may be just me. And as you can tell, I was feeling a tad sadistic here. Thanks for reading!

:3