Amelia Susan Bones.
Even as a baby, Amelia never wore anything but blue. A baby girl in navy blue crib – ironic but she was destined to be a Ravenclaw and everyone knew it.
It's a vague memory but Amelia remembers seeing her brother, Edgar's, piercing blue eyes seeing her through the bars and she thought that she liked them even then. He looked curious and protective and she can recall reaching her tiny fingers through the bars. And he held her hand because she was his sister and she wanted him to.
Amelia was running alongside Edgar at five trying to keep up. Her curls bounced against the back of her head and somewhere in the tendrils was a blue ribbon that Edgar had given her when she was a baby.
Their younger brother, Elliot, wobbled after them – his four year old legs too short to carry him that fast.
The grass was taller then Amelia but she can see Edgar and when she loses him, he backtracks and takes her hand. No one notices when Elliot stumbles and disappears into the weeds.
Amelia is writing Edgar a letter because he is at school and she is not and she wants to know about the teachers and the lessons and who to talk to and who to avoid.
He tells her about a boy named Kingsley and another named Amos and that they are his friends and they'll be hers one day, too.
She is excited and tells Elliot about them and Elliot's eyes are like Edgar's and for a moment, it is like Edgar never left but Elliot has dimples and Edgar does not and for Amelia, it is not the same.
At eleven she meets Emmeline Vance and she knows that the dark haired beauty will be her best fiend. They are both sorted into Ravenclaw and they sit beside each other, across from Edgar and a girl named Nathalia. Amelia likes her and knows that Edgar likes her, too.
When Edgar kisses Nathalia, Amelia and Emmeline giggle as they watch from the stairs in the Common Room and Amelia is happy for him.
Amelia is sixteen and Edgar is trying to get her to agree to go on a date with Kingsley Shacklebolt but she doesn't want to because she likes Caradoc Dearborn and he likes her.
And so they all go to Hogsmeade; Edgar and Nathalia, Amelia and Caradoc, Elliot and Cordelia, Emmeline and Amos and Kingsley.
The summer she was seventeen, Edgar threw a party for himself and his fellow classmates that had graduated and who planned on becoming Aurors.
Amelia sees Caradoc, who has just lost his entire family to a Death Eater attack, outside. She doesn't say anything, just kisses him softly and that is the night she learns about love.
Edgar finds the paperwork congratulating her on passing her Auror exams and demands to know why she turned the position down. She tells him that she knows the entailments of the job and that death is a risk and that doesn't think she could stand to see Caradoc die.
Edgar is angry and she knows it so she isn't surprised when he leaves.
Amelia is twenty-two and she and Caradoc live together in a small house outside of London. It is only big enough for the two of them and they like it that way. He works as an Auror and she works odd jobs, having yet to find her niche, she says.
The first time Caradoc touched her she trembled and he grinned and told her that it was okay. She trusts him with her whole being and holds his hand when he kisses her like he means it.
Amelia and Caradoc decide to never get married because they don't need rings to prove that they love each other. She has him and he has her and for now that is enough.
Amelia hears a knock on her door when she is twenty-three and is surprised to see Edgar who looks grim. She knows what he is about to tell her and she shakes her head violently trying to stop the scenes in her mind.
He is dead and his body cannot be located so there will not be a service, is what Edgar tells her and it is enough for Amelia to destroy every bit of furniture that she has because it is another place Caradoc will never sit or sleep or look at again.
In the months that follow, Amelia drinks a lot and Kingsley is there for her because he wants to be. She plays a game with herself. She asks a question about Caradoc. His eye color. His favorite book. His smell. And if she is able to answer it, she is not drunk enough.
After eight wine glasses full of cablais wine and firewhiskey, she begins breaking things.
As bright a green as pine in the morning sun. Ulyssess by James Joyce. Burning leaves and woodsmoke in the middle of winter.
She couldn't forget him. She just couldn't.
The same day she gets a job in the Ministry in the Magical Law Enforcement Department, Nathalia asks her to be the maid of honor at her wedding and Amelia says yes because in so many ways, she feels like it is expected of her.
She is numb the day of the wedding and holds Nathalia's bouquet of flowers as she says her vows to Edgar. Somehow, Amelia knows this is not for her and in this moment she prepares herself to die alone.
This does not stop Kingsley from proposing to her because they have gone out a couple times and though she enjoys his company, she says no because she does not want to marry him or anyone else. She wants to be alone. Alone, alone, alone because the only person she wants to be with is the person she can't be with.
When Benjy is killed, Amelia tells Emmeline she understands because Emmeline loved Benjy and he was taken away from her. They sip wine in Amelia's empty living room because she still hasn't filled the voids of where Caradoc has been and she doesn't ever plan on it.
She turns twenty-six the same day Edgar's second child, her niece Elizabeth, Liz, turns four. Liz's older brother, Nathaniel, is like Edgar because he looks after Liz and Amelia watches them play and she and Edgar and brought back to their childhood.
Not long after Edgar, his family and Emmeline move to be closer to the war and Amelia spends her time with Elliot, Cordelia and their daughter, Susan, who is nothing like Amelia but shares her name. When Emmeline and a ministry official come to the door nearly three months later, Amelia knows that they have all been killed and she keeps looking at Elliot's eyes because they were like Edgar's and if she looks at them long enough, it is like Edgar never died, just like when is was like he never left for school.
Because she has lost too much to care, Amelia throws everything she has into work and ranks higher with each passing year but not enough to make a difference. Her hair grows grayer and her dark blue eyes grow darker and the only people she cares about are her brother, his family and Emmeline.
At Harry Potter's trial she listens carefully and longs to be fifteen again. When Voldemort returns, she is reminded of the terrors that shook her family and she wonders if she was on Voldemort's list because so many people were taken away from her. It is not fair and she has heard that nothing ever is and now she can count the losses of her loved ones on both hands.
It is July when Emmeline is killed and Amelia has given up hope that there is good in the world. Elliot tries to tell her that it is okay but he was never able to cheer her up and it still does not work. Amelia thinks of her niece, Susan, and how much she would have liked Nathaniel and Elizabeth if only she had been old enough to know them.
Amelia knows that she is next on the list because of her position in the Ministry and Kingsley tries to convince her to move in with him if only to protect herself. But she is independent and will not run from death if it comes to find her. When there is a small knock on the door she does not bother to ask for the password before she opens it.
She and Voldemort come face to face but it is not long before her fine china and books shelves are torn from their homes and shattered across the hardwood floors. Amelia is backed into the bedroom she once shared with Caradoc, that she once rocked her nieces and nephew to sleep in, that she cried in over her tremendous losses. Voldemort is happy and she looks him in the face, knowing that he has won.
She closes her eyes and remembers Edgar's eyes, Elliot's dimples, Emmeline's voice, Caradoc's hands and the giggles of Nathaniel, Elizabeth and Susan and for a moment, she forgets about everything else and after a moment, there is nothing more to remember.
Ashley1008