Kyle didn't know how he ended up in a situation like this. By 'this', he meant, of course, with Eric Cartman's dick in his mouth and fingers in his curls. Well, Kyle wasn't completely unsure of how he got here; he had a pretty good idea that his best friend Stan was to blame, not that Stan had any knowledge that this hookup was even happening. Stan would never find out, if Kyle had anything to do with it.
"Deeper," demanded Cartman, his hand pressing Kyle closer to him. Kyle glared at the touching and removed the hand with a a conviction. Despite what his current activity might convey, he couldn't stand Cartman. The only reason he was doing this was so he could avoid thinking about Stan.
Kyle's feelings about Stan were . . . complicated, to say the least. It all started their sophomore year, at sleepover at Kyle's house, when Cartman and Kenny and somehow nabbed the bed and sleeping bag respectively, leaving Stan and Kyle sharing a blanket on the cramped space of the floor of the bedroom. As their bodies touched under the quilted fabric and Kyle watched the even rise and fall of Stan's chest with almost obsessive vigilance, Kyle came to realization that maybe his feelings weren't as platonic as he had once thought. He was disgusted in himself for these emotions, and only angrier when the attraction he felt grew to other guys, though none made him feel like Stan. From then on, Kyle hid his feelings from his friends, knowing he could lose them all if he revealed his secret. He managed to do so, until he was pushed to his limit.
Kyle had walked in on Stan making out with Wendy. Kyle had come over to play the new GTA and when he opened Stan's bedroom door, they had been there, with their hands groping at each other, assaulting Kyle's eyes. It wasn't like he should have been surprised or hurt, Stan and Wendy had been talking for a few weeks and it's not like Kyle had any claim over his friend. But still, the action had hurt Kyle to the core and his heart burnt with jealously. Shocked and overwhelmed, he ran out of the room before Stan could even finish sputtering out a sentence. Kyle needed to talk to someone, but Kenny was working, so his only option was Cartman, most unfortunately.
When Cartman had asked 'what the fuck was up' with Kyle, he had unloaded on him everything. Next thing Kyle knew, Cartman was on top of him trying to force his lips on him. When Kyle pushed him away, Cartman had simply countered with the fact that if Kyle wanted to move on from one man, he just had to get under another. Kyle was disgusted by this insinuation and bolted from the house, sure that no matter how low he got, he could never sink to . . . that. But when Stan and Wendy started officially dating, and Kyle was proving to be only more bitter, lonely, and sexually frustrated, Cartman no longer seemed like the worst possible choice, though he still wasn't a good one. So Kyle returned to Cartman's house a week after the incident with a changed mind and set of rules for their mutually beneficial agreement, which is what they both decided to call their hook-ups to fool themselves that they hadn't entered a friends-with-benefits relationship, which they obviously had. Well, Kyle didn't care what they called it as long as no one found out and he could keep using the meetings as a distraction from his all-consuming feelings for Stan.
By junior year, Stan and Wendy had split, which made things easier for Kyle, though he didn't abandon his old past time. Of course, though, he had set up some boundaries for the situation. No pet names, no emotions, no commitment to each other, and, above all, no sex, despite Cartman's incessant begging for it. Call Kyle a hopeless romantic, but his ideal first time didn't include losing it to the biggest douche in South Park. But they kept to their rules, things worked, and for an hour a day, Kyle didn't think about Stan.
"Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm close!" groaned out Cartman and only a second later, he finished and Kyle jerked away, wiping his mouth. Cartman flopped back onto his bed with a huff before yanking his pants back up and standing up. Kyle looked away, never finding it any easier to come to terms with what his life was now.
"We should, uh, get to Wendell's Burgers. It's one," he stated as he picked up a head set on the desk and played with it his hands to distract from Cartman for another moment, but it seemed his friend had other ideas.
"You got it, jewboy," Cartman growled as he stood behind Kyle and tried to nibble on his ear. Kyle was quick to slap him away. He was persistent to keep their hookups strictly to release and no more.
"Get off me, fatass," frowned Kyle, "I assume we are taking my car, or will be riding with your mom again?" Cartman was the only one of their friend group yet to get his license and Kyle loved to remind of this.
"Yeah, your car," grumbled Cartman with a pout as he shoved his wallet and his phone in his pocket. Kyle smirked with a snort of a laugh and proceeded out the door.
Wendell's Burgers was sort of the spot for the group of teens during the summer. They meet there for lunch every Friday as a way to stay in touch when they were not tied by the tedium of classes and school work. Kyle enjoyed the weekly reunions, even if it meant more time with Cartman.
When they arrived at the fast food establishment, Kenny was there to greet them.
"Nice to see you two, together, again," he said with sarcasm in his tone. Kyle rolled his eyes and gave Kenny a playful shove. Kenny had weaseled out of Kyle that Cartman and him were fuck buddies when they were getting drunk at Bebe's last day of school party and couldn't let the fact go. They made their way to where the rest of the group was seated outside.
Kenny moved to sit with Butters and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pressing a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. No one could piece together how this pair worked, or even how the relationship came to be, but one day they were making out and everyone sort of had just accepted it. Once Kenny had settled in his seat, Kyle's eyes wandered to Stan.
Kyle felt like he had forgotten how wonderful Stan was each time he saw him. Stan had grown muscular and lean since he had become linebacker for his high school team in sophomore year and this fact was not lost on Kyle. Stan had always been attractive but his increase in beefiness had only upped the ante. Kyle hid his blush with a downward toss of his head as Stan pulled out a seat for him.
"Yo, dude, how was the trip to Washington?" he asked, referencing the trip Kyle and his family had taken last weekend for some national science fair Ike had won. Kyle would never say it to his brother, but his almost genius level intelligence was a bit creepy to him.
"Fun, I guess. I mean, it was kinda Ike-centric, so. . ." he responded and Stan nodded as he knew how Ike had taken precedence in the family since he had begun to exhibit his mental prowess. Kyle felt like his parents tended to forget that he was taking five AP classes his senior year and a shoe-in for captain of the debate team, just because he wasn't the next Albert Einstein.
"Hey, man, it was probably just because of the science stuff that they were all focused on him. Besides, you know your mom is gonna go nuts obsessing over you when we graduate next year, so appreciate the break while you have it," Stan reminded. Kyle shrugged with a laugh.
"Yeah, you're right. Well, how about you? What did you do while I was gone?" Kyle asked as though he hadn't been texting Stan for every minute he was away, but he figured it was polite to still check in.
"Just boring shit. I went to the gym with Clyde, like, once, and played video games, nothing exciting. I'm glad you're back, I missed you bro," Stan said and Kyle's face flushed again. He hated the way his feelings had complicated even the simplest of conversations with his best friend. He forced a smile as he looked away towards the entrance as Craig and Jimmy made their way to the table. Kyle always felt slightly uncomfortable around Craig due to the his aggressive attitude and almost constant smoking, and tensed at his presence. Craig hadn't been a regular to the lunch meetings so his arrival came as a surprise. He sat down with a huff and a glare next to Kyle while Jimmy worked himself down, struggling with his crutches.
"H-hi, g-guys," Jimmy said with a goofy smile.
"Hey, Jimmy. Hey," Cartman paused, coughing out the word 'fag', "oh, excuse me, hi, Craig." Craig snarled at the comment and pulled out a cigarette.
"Wow, no one's ever called me a fag before, Cartman. I'm positively broken up," he offered in his well practiced sarcastic monotone as he held the cigarette in his gritted teeth. He cupped his hand to light it up. Kyle instinctively covered his mouth, as he had been known to gag from the smell of cigarette smoke. Craig rolled his eyes at the gesture.
"Excuse me, princess. I'll go stand on the other side of the table as to not upset you," he grumbled as he pushed out of his seat and stood behind Cartman before holding his box of Malbros out to Kenny, "Want one?" Kenny reddened from the comment and Butters shuffled uncomfortably with his eyes cast away from the situation.
"Oh, I, uh, don't do that anymore," answered Kenny and Craig shrugged, shoving the box back into his pocket.
"Hmm, that's funny. You did when I was sucking you off two months ago," he said, causing the entire group to quite. Kenny turned with big, apologetic eyes to Butters as the statement fell.
"Butters, babe, I'm sorry, I . . ." he trailed of with a frown and a slump of his shoulders. Butters shook the comment off and offered a comforting smile.
"Oh, Ken, it's fine, really, it is," he reassured with a firm grasp of his boyfriend's hand. Kenny sighed at his own past and kept his eyes cast to his lap. Butters only smiled in a way that absolved Kenny of any wrongs, and if was upset, he wasn't showing it. Kyle was not so eager to push the comment under the rug.
"The fuck, Craig? Why do you have to be so damn miserable all the time?" he accused with crossed arms. Craig only laughed and puffed some smoke in Kyle's direction.
"Same reason you constantly have a stick up your ass. It's just how we've always been," he grinned with snark radiating off of him. Kyle's hands balled up into fists and his face reddened at the insinuation. As he was about to hop up and jump into a full take down of Craig, he felt a hand on his arm and looked over to see Stan giving him a look that urged him not to act on his violent thoughts.
"Dude, it's not worth it," Stan said. Kyle took a second to take in how calming Stan's deep blue oceans of eyes and sighed off his aggravation. He fixed himself back into his chair and checked his phone to distract himself.
"So, uh, is Token coming, Jimmy?" Butters asked, always excellent in the art of aversion. Jimmy's eyes glanced at Stan for a brief second but quickly returned to his lap.
"He's w-with, uh, W-Wendy," he informed and Kyle wasted no time to bring his full attention to Stan, as did many of the rest of the group.
Stan and Wendy had dated for almost a year and the break up, which was completely Wendy's idea, had kind of shaken Stan. Wendy and Token had started dating at the beginning of junior year, only a month after her and Stan had broken up, and Stan's heart was broken that she had moved on so quickly, but that was months and months ago. Stan sighed at all the pointed stares.
"Guys, you can talk about Wendy and Token. I can handle it," he insisted, though after the words left his mouth, Kyle couldn't help but notice the sadness that hung on him. Kyle kept the observation to himself for both the sake of Stan's dignity and a desire not to talk about Stan's feelings for Wendy. The conversation was stilted for a few moments.
"Well, anyways," Kyle picked up, "The pool at my house is almost all done, so I was thinking we could have a pool party sometime." Kyle's dad had been getting more cases to handle lately and finally had enough money to get the pool the family had wanted for so long.
"Nice. Swimsuit season," smirked Cartman as his eyes lingered on Kyle for too long, making Kyle feel sick at what the phrase could mean.
"Dude, if you're going to be a perv, I'm not gonna let you come," he warned to stop anymore comments that could give away their secret and Cartman grunted as a sign of his surrender, shuffling around his chair with a pout.
"Besides, it's not like any girl in a swimsuit would let you with in a ten foot radius," Stan said with a snort of a laugh at the end. Kyle was glad to find that Stan was oblivious as always that Cartman and him were anything but completely hetero and he gave Cartman one final stern glare to keep it that way. Cartman rolled his eyes and his stare burned into Kyle. Kyle huffed and looked away.
"Stan, please, lady's prefer a big man. And trust me, I'm bigger in many many ways," said Cartman with a self-satisfied grin. Kyle almost snorted as he was well aware that Cartman was sporting a barely more than four inch hard-on but kept the humorous fact to himself.
"Oh, shit," Craig muttered as he lowered his cigarette and tensed with wide eyes.
"Thanks Tucker. I guess that one was pretty good," Cartman accepted greedily. Craig scoffed though his normal level of bitter was cut down by nerves.
"Shut it, fatass," quipped Craig but his eyes were elsewhere. Kyle followed his stare to find an equally startled Clyde standing in doorway to the patio in his football jersey with Bebe wrapped around his waist. Kyle had heard second hand of the tension between the former best friends and was still a bit unclear on the exact situation but the his general observation was that Craig had confessed to Clyde that he was in love with him and Clyde, the 'no-homo' chanting jock that he was, had reacted poorly to say the least and almost instantaneously jumped into a relationship with Bebe. Craig and him hadn't talked since and the whole friend group had basically dissolved as a result, except for Jimmy who remained a neutral player in all of it. Kyle might even have pitied Craig, if Craig wasn't such a complete asshole.
"Craig, what are you doing here?" Clyde asked, shifting almost protectively in front of Bebe. Craig nearly growled in response.
"Just cause you excommunicated me doesn't mean everyone else has, fuckface! And trust me, if I had known you had been coming, I would have stayed home," he hissed, his face flushing as each exasperated word was flung off his tongue. Observing this, Kyle only grew more resolute in his decision to keep his crush from his Stan. Craig and Clyde had been as close as any of them, and even though Kyle wasn't at Craig's level of jaded, he was sure the results of telling Stan could be just as dangerous. At this, Kyle's heart fell watching the fight.
"I didn't excommunicate you, dude. It's just, like, weird for me, with you, you know?" Clyde attempted to justify. Craig exhaled a sound that was a cross between a snort of laughter and groan of anger.
"I'm sorry your Neanderthal brain is incapable of comprehending the fact that your 'bro' is anything but straight," he responded with a glare. Both Clyde and Bebe recoiled at the insult and Bebe turned to her boyfriend to mutter something with a grave expression. Clyde shook his head and turned back to Craig.
"Look, if you were just gay, that'd be one thing. But . . . like, why do you have to be gay for me, though?" questioned Clyde. Craig huffed and gripped the bridge of his nose at the fact that this question even had to be something he heard.
"Oh my god, you are the actual height of stupidity, Clyde Donavan. I can't believe I was in love with you," Craig uttered. Clyde winced at the word 'love' and Craig rolled his eyes. Bebe was appearing to get quite upset at the insults being hurled at her boyfriend.
"You know, if you really loved him as much as you act like you did, you would have at least tried to have been happy for him finding someone he loved," she accused, and even Kyle had to admit the fact that Bebe and Clyde were using the 'L-Word' after only three weeks of dating was a bit offensive to Craig.
"Oh cause, Bebe Stevens, the school's reigning blow job queen, is an expert on love. Put a sock in it, pep squad," said Craig snidely. Clyde moved to block his girlfriend from any further quips Craig could fire.
"Don't talk to her like that, asshole!" he demanded with the anger he had been holding back. Craig sighed and brought his grimace to face Stan. Stan trembled at the intense stare.
"Aren't girlfriends not allowed at these things?" asked Craig with a return to his usual monotone. Stan, the unofficial leader of these lunches, shrugged and released an 'ehh' sound, wishing to remain impartial. Craig groaned.
"Whatever, I'm out. Have fun with your lap dog, Bebe," he shot back before hopping over the fence that cut the restaurant from the rest of the sidewalk.
"B-b-but, y-y-your stuff is in m-m-my mom's car," Jimmy reminded. Craig shook his head with his eyes on the ground.
"I . . . I'll just get it later, Jimmy. I just . . . bye," he finished and ran off as he stuffed another cigarette in his mouth. Kyle watched him go and sunk down his chair from the exhaustion thinking about what the whole ordeal had meant.
"Well," said Cartman, drawing the word out for an exceedingly long time, "Who knew the fag was such a drama queen? Well, at least he's still got his guinea pig, if you know what I mean." Cartman playfully nudged Kenny in hopes of a laugh and when he only received a straight face, turned his stare to Clyde, who had barely managed to recuperate with Bebe and was in no mood for a laugh. Cartman puffed and grumbled to himself about how no one had a sense of humor. Kyle huffed at the statement and wondered how Cartman could spew out words like faggot or queer when he was one of the most undeniably gay guys Kyle had ever met. Aggravated that Cartman could call out what was basically his own kind and still shaken by how close to home Craig's problems hit, Kyle snatched a fry from Stan's plate and flung it at Cartman. Cartman seized as if he had been shot and slapped the food away.
"Your jokes aren't funny, douche, " he informed with a pleased grin, grabbing one more fry to eat and remembering he should probably actually get lunch.
"I agree whole heartedly, Kyle, but please stop abusing my fries," requested Stan and the group all joined in on a laugh, except for Cartman of course, and things finally settled from the agitated stasis they seemed to be stuck in that day.
The conversation continued for a little while longer, with jokes and small talk spliced with the occasional 'ew' from Cartman when Kenny and Butters would kiss in his line of sight, until Kyle announced he had to be going.
"Bye, dude. Let's hang more soon, okay?" Stan said as Kyle stood. He moved to hug Kyle, Kyle's head resting right on top of Stan's shoulder. Kyle didn't know how something this common and simple could still excite him, but the contact was comfortable and invigorating at the same time. He pulled away with a blush.
"Yeah," he replied quickly and turned on his heel to hide his cheeks, signaling to Cartman they had to leave.