Notes: This fic contains a non-canon pairing. If that sort of thing bothers you, please don't read it, or at least don't flame me about it. I've heard quite enough of "Sorata only belongs with Arashi, you sicko!" from some of my Sorashi-loving friends, so I'd rather not hear it from strangers, too, mmkay? ^_^
Oh, and it's shounen-ai with implications of yaoi. If that bothers you, please steer clear.
This takes place sometime before the January Asuka (i.e. before Arashi acknowledges having feelings for Sorata). It was actually written before that point, but I'm only getting the guts to post it now. ^^;;;
Now that I'm done covering my ass, if you are still reading, please enjoy the fic. ^___^

A Nice Moonlight Stroll
by Kerianne H.

It was completely out of character for Arisugawa Sorata to be wandering around Tokyo at one in the morning, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket, a despondent expression on his face. But perhaps out of character was exactly what he needed to be. Obviously his own personality was getting him nowhere.

He had really believed she was beginning to open up. Even so, it had been stupid-- no, idiotic-- of him to place her in that position, to corner her and demand a straight answer about her feelings for him. What had he expected to hear? She could not-- would not-- have done anything but reject him.

And oh, reject him she did. But did she have to be so cold? Did her eyes have to narrow with an expression one normally only saw directed at the lowest of creatures, did she have to speak in such a low, soft, chilly voice, did she have to physically push him away? Even the fact that she had not been able to look him directly in the eyes when she said it didn't soften the blow. She meant it. He knew she did. He didn't know why-- he'd never given her any reason not to love him, had he?

He had just been tired of waiting, that was all. He had always hated waiting. And now, he'd lost his chance, if he'd ever had it at all.

Sorata sighed deeply and buried his hands further into his pockets, stopping to lean against a streetlight briefly and ponder what the hell he was doing out here. It was late. He should have been back at the mansion sleeping. He should have just laughed at her words, made a joke, and then forgotten about it. He should have done anything but stare back at her and let his smile slip for just a moment to let her see the pain behind it, and then lower his head and leave, going nowhere, anywhere. That had been a mistake.

She might have called him back. He couldn't remember. If she had, how would she have sounded? Would he have heard regret in her voice, worry, anger, or just indifference? He didn't know, and he was so tired of not knowing.

he murmured softly, laying his forehead against the cool ceramic post, scuffing the toe of his shoe at the ground. She was so fucking confusing, he thought, never showing anyone what lurked beneath her cool, dark gaze. A few times he thought he'd come close... He closed his eyes, remembering the two of them standing still, his lips pressed to a lock of her hair, and she had stared back at him and for just a few moments she didn't look so cool anymore, she looked surprised and confused and maybe a little scared.... He'd been close.

But he had to push it, of course. Had to rush things. And now there wasn't anything left to rush, nothing to wait on, no reason to stare into those dark eyes and wonder what was going on behind them, because he knew.

The answer hadn't been what he wanted... but had he expected it to be?

Why am I such a fucking idiot? he demanded of the light post, kicking harder at the ground.

That's one of those rhetorical questions, isn't it?

Sorata's head shot up. He hadn't been expecting to hear a voice, not here, not now, and he certainly hadn't been expecting to hear that voice. Without turning around, he slipped back into his usual persona, forcing a smile onto his face, forcing humor into his voice. Well, if it isn't my favorite sparring partner. How're those old bones holding up tonight, hmm?

As well as can be expected. He heard the man moving behind him, moving closer. But you... you don't look so good, my young monk friend. Dare I ask what you're doing out here so late, looking like your best friend just died and your dog got hit by a truck?

Sorata turned around then, met the other man's blue gaze, and smirked. I'm fine. Just enjoying a nice moonlight stroll.

The blond smirked back. I didn't know nice moonlight strolls included banging your head against lightposts and questioning your lack of intelligence to the world at large...

For the first time in his life-- no, now the second-- the Kansai monk had no glib response. His easygoing smirk shifted suddenly into a glare, and then his eyes slid to the ground. Nothing's wrong. Nothing I'd tell you about, Kigai-san.

He didn't look up, but he could tell Yuuto was smiling in that unpleasantly charming way of his. Seems as if you could use someone to spill your heart out to...

Perhaps. But not you.

Yuuto chuckled. As you wish. It might make you feel better, though...

The monk's head snapped up. Since when are you some kind of psychiatrist? he snapped, aware that he sounded bratty and rude, and just preoccupied enough not to care.

Since never. I'm just offering a friendly gesture. It's out of character for you to act so unpleasant, Arisugawa-kun.

Sorata bristled at the slightly condescending tone in the older man's voice. How would you know? he muttered. And if you expect us to fight tonight, forget about it. I'm tired.

So am I, my friend. So am I. Yuuto smiled patiently. Truth is, I was taking a nice moonlight stroll myself. This meeting was completely coincidental.

Then I suppose you should be on your way now, ne? Sorata said, less than subtly.

Instead, much to the young monk's chagrin, the Dragon of Earth came closer still, to stand within the pool of light thrown by the streetlamp, and looked up into the sky pensively. he mused. You ran away from your problem, didn't you? Whatever it is, you ran away instead of staying to face up to what had happened.

I don't think it's any of your busine--

That girl. Yuuto gave a triumphant smile at the shocked expression on Sorata's face. It's her, isn't it?

Sorata didn't answer.

Silence is consent, my dear friend. It's written all over your face, anyway. If I had been paying more attention, I would have realized right away that whatever you were out here for, it was some kind of romantic problem.

You're an expert on that, too, I guess? Sorata challenged in a bored tone.

I'd like to think I have experience in such matters, yes. The water-master smirked. Arashi... Kishuu Arashi, that's her name, am I correct? She's beautiful, isn't she?

Shut up.

Yuuto chuckled at the almost childish response. Beautiful but so cold... so unresponsive... She's like ice, that one, you can't touch her.

I believe I asked you to shut up, Sorata repeated in a clipped voice. Out of character, yes, but he didn't feel like playing the part of the clown tonight. It wasn't worth it. Not for this asshole who'd decided to appear out of nowhere and play with his head. Not worth the effort.

You tried, didn't you? Tried to get her to open up, and she just crawled deeper within herself. Yuuto made a soft disappointed sound and shook his head. Too forward, my dear friend. Too much, too soon. But you know that, don't you? He smiled, and suddenly Sorata just wanted to punch the insufferably sweet and condescending grin off his face, and he tried, but apparently he was too exhausted because Yuuto easily caught his arm in midair and just smiled wider.

I apologize, friend. It's none of my business.

You're right. It's not, Sorata nearly growled, jerking his arm out of the other man's grip and glaring fiercely into his amused golden eyes.

Yuuto spread his hands in a gesture of confusion. I don't understand exactly what you want to hear, he said evenly.

Sorata was about to snap back that he didn't want to hear anything from Yuuto, that he just wanted the other man to leave, and quickly, so he could be alone, but something made him pause and think about the Dragon of Earth's words.

What did he want to hear? What words would make the situation all right again? The whole reason he was out here was because he hadn't been able to sleep, he didn't want to hole up in his room angsting all night long, and he definitely didn't want to risk meeting up with one of the others. He already knew what they would say, how they would react. Yuzuriha would give him a hug and make cute but unsuccessful attempts to cheer him up. Karen would make some tea and attempt to analyze Arashi's behavior from a woman's point of view, which may have been interesting, but would, in the end, do him no good whatsoever. Aoki would just give him a fatherly talk and try to fix things, when it was clear to Sorata at least that things were not fixable, and Kamui and Subaru had their own problems to deal with. And all of them would have wondered just exactly why the second most cheerful Dragon of Heaven was acting so... out of character.

He didn't need to deal with that. So, here he was, listening to one of his mortal enemies wax poetic about the woman he loved. Suddenly it all seemed rather ridiculous, and despite his low spirits, he couldn't help but laugh-- a low, dry chuckle, but a laugh nonetheless.

Yuuto smiled broadly. See, you're feeling better already. I told you it'd help... but you never did answer me... what do you want, Arisugawa-kun?

Suddenly Yuuto seemed to be a little too close to Sorata, and the monk backed up a step, back pressing firmly against the lightpost. I want... to be left alone, he said automatically.

Yuuto chuckled, and slid a step closer when Sorata wasn't looking. Now you know that's not true, Arisugawa-kun, or you wouldn't be pursuing Kishuu-san so ardently. So why don't... he reached out and laid a hand on the monk's shoulder, a typical gesture really, but for some reason Sorata flinched and his eyes opened wide, ... you tell me.... now his hand was moving up Sorata's neck and this was most certainly not a typical gesture but for some reason Sorata couldn't move, .... the truth?

Sorata coughed and tried to pull away, but the water-master's other hand had somehow found its way to Sorata's other shoulder, and Yuuto was holding him firmly against the post, gazing steadily at him. I... I want...

Why the hell was it suddenly so difficult to talk? Sorata closed his eyes tightly, locking out Yuuto's clear golden gaze, trying to forget that the other man's strong hands were wrapped tightly around his shoulders, trying to forget. I want... her. I want her to love me back. Is that so selfish? Now that he'd begun talking, he realized that he wasn't going to be able to stop, and it scared him a little, but not as much as he had thought. I already swore to give my life protecting her. I can't undo that now, even if I wanted to. But... don't I deserve anything? Just a smile, maybe, or a kind word? She won't even give me that much. She won't, he finished, a note of desperation creeping into his voice, and his eyes opened, momentarily forgetting that Yuuto was the enemy, momentarily forgetting everything but the need to make someone, anyone, understand him. And if I can't have her, then I just want to forget about her... I just want to forget I ever met her, because me not loving her anymore isn't an option. It's too late for that. I just... I just want to forget, he finished, voice trailing off as he came back to himself, beginning to feel a little silly about his sudden outburst.

Yuuto simply smiled. That's a lot to ask, Arisugawa-kun, he murmured, and there was a strange look in his eyes, but before Sorata realized what it meant the other man had already leaned forward and caught his lower lip between his own. He supposed what came next was something like a kiss, although it was mostly just Yuuto nibbling at his bottom lip, then momentarily slipping up to cover his mouth with his own, and before he knew it was over and he wasn't anywhere near as disgusted as he thought he would be. Just shocked, and a little breathless, adrenaline singing in his veins as he stared into that clear golden gaze and looked for answers.

Yuuto gave him a secretive smile. But I suppose I could try... He left the statement open-ended, an implicit question.

Sorata opened his mouth to say no, to say I'm straight, to say get away from me you pervert, to say anything but what actually came out, which was

The smile widened. Would you like to take a stroll with me, Arisugawa-kun?

Sorata said again, wondering if he had any other words left in his vocabulary.

And so they left the relative safety of the pool of light, stepping out into the darkness, going anywhere, nowhere. The only thought that crossed Arisugawa Sorata's mind at that moment was that this was awfully out of character for him.

But somehow, tonight, it felt like the right thing to do.

The End