DISCLAIMER: Not mine.
RATING: PG
FEEDBACK: Yes, please.
SUMMARY: A very short prequel to my story "The Badlands." Before he found her again on Terra Mala, Riddick left Jack behind on New Mecca. We know how she took it . . . but how did he?
*****
They stood at the end of the docking station, talking, gesturing casually, exchanging niceties. Imam was even smiling. Riddick didn't smile back, of course, but that's because it would ruin his image. All in all, it looked like a pleasant conversation from anyone else's vantage point. They might even shake hands after they're done, just to prove to her (because they knew that she was watching even though she was trying to be discreet) that there shouldn't be any hard feelings over this, that Riddick was doing the right and noble thing by leaving, that there was nothing wrong with the fact that, for the last two weeks, he'd single-handedly made her care about him just so he can leave her like everyone else she's ever cared about.
No hard feelings, Jack inwardly scoffed. Yeah, right. This is the stuff therapy sessions are made of.
She forced her eyes to the ground. Around her, people were randomly milling about, their luggage in tow, waiting for their respective shuttles. A few yards away, an elderly couple was hugging their young son in a tearful -- and noisy -- good-bye.
The unfairness of it all made Jack burn. What right did they have to be so sad? Why should they be the ones to cry and hug each other like their whole world was ending? It's not as if they won't see each other again in a couple of months when the holidays come around. It's not as if he's going away forever.
Jack angrily jabbed at the ground with her toe. No, no, no, she was not going to cry. It's bad enough that Riddick's ditching her . . . she wasn't about to start bawling her eyes out like some pathetic little kid. She sniffled rebelliously and kept eyes down.
Fine. He wants to leave? Then let him. I've done just fine without him before, and I'll do fine without him now.
She sighed. It was a lie, she knew, but maybe if she kept it up she'll start to believe it.
Out of the corner of her eye, she felt him looking at her. Jack pointedly turned her back to him and faced one of the station's many windows. The night was inky and deep. She watched as a shuttle swept past her field of vision and flew off into the stars. There goes somebody's loved one, somebody's one-and-only.
There goes that poor somebody.
Jack caught her reflection on the window. A single tear was running unchecked down her pale cheek, glimmering on her face like a star. She roughly swiped it away, annoyed when another followed, and another. She swallowed down the sob that was threatening to escape her and glared at her reflection. Big baby.
She jumped when Imam suddenly appeared behind her and put a hand over her shoulder. Jack turned and faced him. His warm eyes looked down at her and the gentle understanding that she saw in them made her want to start up all over again. She sniffled and looked away.
"Yeah?" she said flatly.
He took his hand away when he felt how she'd stiffened. "Would you like to say good-bye to him?" he said, nodding his head in Riddick's direction. He pretended not to notice the way her eyes glittered in the corners.
Jack shrugged. "Might as well."
Imam watched as she walked toward Riddick, her hands stuck deep inside her pockets, her head slightly bowed. He sighed deeply and shook his head.
"May Allah help those two," he murmured as he stared out the window. The stars only winked back.
*****
Riddick watched her approach him, her tiny figure cutting through the crowd like a slow-moving comet. Her eyes seemed glued to the ground. He bit back a fond smile as he looked at her bare head. She had some stubble action going on there, and he'd teased her about looking like one of those chia pet things they used to have in Ancient Earth. They'd had a good laugh about it then, but he didn't think she was feeling very good-humored right now.
Actually, she was looking pretty damn depressed. Trying hard not to show it, though; he'd give her that.
She finally closed the distance between them and was now standing in front him, her thin arms crossed over her chest and her eyes looking at anything else but him. He looked down at her, trying to think of something to say. Funny . . . he'd never noticed how small she was until now.
"Leaving, huh?" she said, abruptly jarring him away from his thoughts.
"Yeah," he said.
Another silence.
"So, where are you headed?" she said.
He shrugged. "Away." He didn't elaborate; he figured that the less she knew, the better off she'd be. Briefly, he wondered why he cared so much, but he conveniently stamped down that thought before it got too disturbing.
She only nodded, as if she'd expected his vague answer. "Think you'll . . . ." She took a deep breath and tentatively raised her eyes to meet his. "Think you'll ever come back? To visit, I mean."
Riddick frowned. Didn't he tell Imam to talk to her about this? "Jack, you know I can't."
"Yeah, yeah, I know." She waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. "Forget I asked."
He inwardly sighed. She was looking off to the side and biting her lip. He didn't like it when she was like this -- it made him feel responsible for her somehow, like it was his job all of a sudden to keep her from feeling whatever she was feeling. Ridiculous, of course, but there it was. "Kid--" he tried.
"Look, I get it!" she snapped, cutting him off. She ignored the surreptitious stares she received from the people around them and cast a sullen glare at his shirt.
Riddick tried to curb his impatience. "Jack, why are you being like this?" he said in a low voice. "You knew I was gonna have to leave sooner or later. I never gave you a reason to think otherwise. I thought you understood."
"I understand perfectly," she hissed. Her eyes snapped up to settle on his face and he was slightly taken aback by the pained anger shining in them. "I understand that I'm inconvenient for you. I understand that the only reason you stuck around is so that you can tell yourself that Carolyn had the right idea about you. And now that you can, you don't need me anymore. I understand that you found my whole puppy-dog thing amusing and that you thought it was just some cute teenage phase, or something. I understand that I'm about to lose you like I lose everyone else and you really don't give a damn. And you know what else I understand, Riddick?" she said, her eyes shining as they looked up at him. "I understand that despite all that, I lo-- I cared." She stared earnestly at his frozen expression and gave him a halfhearted smile that was almost rueful. "You saved my life . . . you saved it every day."
Riddick looked down at her, trying to keep the shock from revealing itself on his face. "Jack," he finally managed, "look, kid, you don't know what you're saying."
The hurt on her face was so poignant he nearly apologized.
"I knew you were gonna say that," she said quietly. "You're wrong, but I guess that's not my problem."
He stared at her for a long moment. Then he just shook his head. "I'm gonna leave now, Jack," he said. He stooped over to pick up his small duffel, wincing when she touched his arm on the way back up. He looked at her, forcing himself not to react to the wetness on her face.
"Tell me why you're leaving," she said softly, pleadingly.
He grit his teeth and forced the words out before she could say anything else.
"I never cared."
Her expression froze, but he plowed ahead, ignoring the odd twist in his chest. "I was gonna leave you there, Jack. You and Imam. I was gonna leave, and I was gonna take Carolyn with me, and I was gonna forget all about you. And that's what I'm gonna do now."
She looked as if he'd slapped her. Jack shook her head mechanically. "You're lying."
"Not this time, kid." He looked coldly down at her. "You wanted to know the truth? Well, there it is. Whoever -- whatever you thought I was -- all that was just wishful thinking. Do us both a favor and get over it."
He turned away from her but stopped when she grabbed his arm with both hands. Almost violently, he shook her off. She stumbled back a few paces, nearly falling. She stared at him, her eyes wide and glistening. He narrowed his own. "Leave me alone, Jack."
He would never forget that look on her face. Something inside him, something he'd tried to forget, unexpectedly awakened and recoiled at her expression, at the irrevocable loss in her eyes. He had the sudden feeling that he'd just killed something inside her with those words. Maybe something inside him, too.
That twisting, gnawing feeling in his chest was getting annoying. What the hell? Was this regret? He inwardly snorted. Couldn't be. She meant nothing to him -- she couldn't mean anything, for both their sakes. All this domestic bliss was getting to him, that's all.
He shook his head. All the more reason to leave, and leave now.
He gave her final glance, trying not to linger too long on her face. "Tell Imam I said thanks for the clothes." Then he turned and walked away, ignoring the quiet burn of her eyes on his back.
*****
There was this old folklore that mothers and grandmothers told their little ones back in the ancient times, when space travel and interplanetary colonization were just practices in imagination. Wish on a star, they said. Wish on the biggest, brightest star in the night sky and sooner or later, when you least expect it, your wish will come true.
Jack tried it once, just once. And her parents died, anyway.
No point in believing such things now; if whoever was running the show up there wouldn't spare her the two most loving and decent people she's ever known, then he certainly wouldn't grant her Riddick, who was undoubtedly the biggest jackass on this side of the universe.
Jack stood beside Imam in front of the window, watching as Riddick's shuttle sped away from the station. The shuttle grew smaller and smaller until it was nearly indistinguishable from the myriad of stars littering the New Meccan night.
There was an small moment of silence between them before Imam finally spoke up.
"Are you all right, child?" he said, looking at her with concerned brown eyes.
Jack looked doubtfully at him. The "child" bugged her a little, but it was a heck of a lot better than "kid." She considered his question for a long second before she settled for a shrug.
Imam raised his brow slightly. "I see."
Jack returned her gaze out the window. The shuttle was long gone, but she continued to look outside, her attention caught by something he couldn't see.
Imam sighed. "Jacqueline," he said, cautiously addressing her by her full name, "I realize that you may not . . . that it is not my company that you desire right now. But I am here, nevertheless."
"Yeah," she said softly, not looking at him. "But for how long?"
Gently, he laid his hand on her shoulder once more. "For as long as you wish. Not everyone leaves, my child."
He watched her reflection on the window. She bit her lip and shut her eyes, as if trying to escape his words. Suddenly her face crumpled and then she was in his arms, her face buried in his robes, her thin body shaking with her sobs. Imam's heart broke at her grief. He hugged her tightly, his weathered hands rubbing comfortingly on her back.
"I didn't want to believe him," she choked out, sniffling against him. "And now, I . . . ." She broke off as a fresh wave of sobs racked through her body.
"Ssh," he murmured. "Hush now. You don't have to explain."
He held her protectively, ignoring the curious stares of several passerby. He caught his reflection on the window and was not surprised to see the tears brimming in his own dark eyes. Imam sighed as Jack's soft cries filled his ears. Over the top of her shaved head, he looked out into the night. The stars were bright against the deep violet, glimmering against the darkness like suspended tears.
He knew what she'd been looking at. He knew what she'd been trying to find in herself and couldn't, not anymore.
Never mind. Her wishes were his. He'll wish them for her.
THE END
*****
The Calling - "Wherever You Will Go"
So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
And maybe, I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go