Horton Hears the Who
The real story behind one of the biggest bands of all time.
(Note: I do not own any of the characters used in this story [real or fiction]. Italics indicate singing.)
Chapter 1: Come on the amazing journey and learn all you should know
Horton the elephant awoke one pleasant morning in the jungle of Nool. It seemed like any other normal day. The birds were chirping. The Wickersham brothers were creating mischief. Mazy Labird was lounging in a truffula tree. Everything and everyone seemed to be in their proper place. As part of Horton's morning ritual he exercised, walked around the lake three times, took a drink, and then walked into the lake to get clean. As Horton waded in the cool water he thought he heard a faint sound grace his ears.
"Sounds like music." Horton thought to himself as he dipped his trunk in the water.
Horton tried to find the source of the melody but there didn't appear to be any musical instruments in sight.
"Maybe I'm imagining things." Horton thought as he continued about his day.
Later on as Horton was preparing to take his afternoon nap he heard the same mysterious tune. However, this time Horton noticed that a small speck of dust was being carried on the wind.
"I wonder…"
Without a moment of hesitation Horton grabbed the clover that was nestled beside him in the grass and caught the speck of dust. As soon as he put his ear beside the speck he heard the most beautiful sound of all.
"See me, Feel me, Touch me, Heal me."
"Is someone there?"
"Who said that?" replied a male voice with a British accent.
"Me, Horton."
"Horton, where are you?"
"Out here."
"You mean outside the sky?"
"Um, if it's your sky I guess so."
"Oh my cheese and crackers! There's life on other planets! Call the BBC! We found extra-terrestrial life!"
"But we're practicing! Roger's vocals need work."
"Pete, shut it."
"How many of there are you down there?"
"Just me, Chris, and the band. How many of you are there?"
"We have a lot of different creatures."
"Oh my word…"
"Wow…"
As Horton and The Who's managers, Kit Lambert and Chris Stamp, chatted about the differences between their worlds The Who sat in the studio bored and confused.
"When are they gonna shut up? We gotta get back to work."
"We could rehearse without them."
"But then they'll get pissed off."
"And why should that bother us?"
"Good point."
"So, you live in a jungle?"
"That's right. The jungle of Nool."
"Who names a jungle Nool?"
"I don't know but that's what it's been called as long as I've lived here."
"Are there any humans up there, Horton?"
"Not that I've seen. Although from what I hear it's a pretty big planet."
"What's your planet called?"
"Earth."
"But we're on Earth. We've found a parallel universe."
"Guys, you gotta help! Kit just passed out! Hey are you listening to me? Are you rehearsing? Stop that at once! Hey!"
"They sure like to yell on that planet." Horton thought to himself as he waited for his new friends to return.
After getting over the shock of their unique discovery, Kit, Chris, and Horton developed a strong bond. Horton would check in every day to see how the band was progressing. Kit and Chris appreciated Horton's feedback; he was honest without being too harsh. The band members however, couldn't care less.
"What do we care what this talking elephant thinks?"
"Roger, he's a genius. He knows more about rhythm than anyone I know."
"Excuse me?"
"Sorry, Keith."
"Thank you."
"All I'm trying to say is we've gotten far without the help of this invisible creature and I suggest we ignore his critique and go on with the rest of our lives."
"I second that."
"Look, boys I understand your frustration but at this pivotal point in your career you need all the help you can get."
"How do we even know this animal exists?"
"What do you mean?"
"You and Chris have been the only ones who have talked to him. How can we be sure if he's real and that it's not just the two of you going bonkers?"
"You want me to prove it?"
"It'd be nice."
"Tomorrow night when he checks in again you'll get to talk to him."
"Us? Why us?"
"It was your idea. You want proof that he exists. Fine. You'll have proof. And you'll see that he really is a good natured person we just wants to help."
"Fine. But I won't like it."
"Did I ask you to like it?"
"No. But I still won't enjoy it."
"Just talk to him or you'll be dropped from the label."
"You don't have that power."
"Pete!"
"Sorry, shutting up."
"Now, let's get back to practice, shall we? Five, six, seven, eight…"
The next night at precisely 6:05 Kit and Chris gathered the band beneath the starry sky outside their rehearsal space to wait for Horton.
"This is ridiculous. He's never gonna show."
"He's made it on time every single night this week. He'll be here."
Minutes seemed like hours as the band waited patiently for Horton's voice to ring out through the night sky.
"We've been out here for ten minutes already. Can we please go inside? I'm starting to catch a chill."
"Hello, down there."
"Hi, Horton!"
"How are you this evening Kit?"
"I'm fine, Horton. Thank you for asking. Listen the band would like to have a word with you."
"Oh? About what?"
"Well, there was an issue of proving my sanity but that's been settled. The big thing is they have a problem with you critiquing their music. I guess they'd just like you to explain your reasoning behind some of the conclusions you've made."
"Sure, no problem. I'm happy to oblige. Hello, boys!"
"Hey!"
"Whatever."
"I'm Horton if you haven't guessed already. Would you like to introduce yourselves?"
"No. Ow. I mean I'm Keith."
"Roger."
"Pete."
"John."
"Fabulous. Now who's who in the group?"
"I'm drums."
"I do vocals and a bit of songwriting."
"I'm the main songwriter and guitarist."
"I'm bass."
"Nice. Four members. Nice even number. Now what problems do you have with my critiques?"
"What gives you the right to talk about what we do? We are trained musicians! We know what we're doing you're just some dumb animal in a jungle somewhere! What do you know about music?"
"I know enough. Look, I know that you guys might feel a little territorial about me coming into your world and trying to fix things. I get it. But I'm really just trying to help. Kit and Chris have played me some of your stuff and I just thought of certain things that could add a little pep to some your songs."
"What if we don't want any pep? What if we think things are good just the way they are?"
"That's fine. You don't have to take my suggestions. But just hear me out at least."
"I guess we could be a little more courteous. Right, boys?"
"Yeah."
"Whatever."
"That's the spirit."
"Now, that that's settled is there anything else you wanna talk about?"
"If you're an elephant how come you can talk and we can understand what you're saying?"
"I actually haven't figured that out yet."
"Oh."
"Goodnight, fellows!"
"Night."
"See, that wasn't so bad."
"I guess you're right. But I'm still not trying that bass solo thing. Who ever heard of a bass getting a solo?"
"It might be worth a shot John."
"I'll think about it."
"That's the spirit. Now, who wants to hit the town?"
"Me! I'm starving!"
"Me too."
"I could use a beer."
"C'mon boys. Into the van. We gotta get one more rehearsal in before the label drops by tomorrow!"
"Slave driver."
"Pete!"
"Sorry."
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