Disclaimer: I don't own the following: Capcom, Monster Hunter, Zelda and the only thing I own is my character, Emo Man!!!!!
I bring you: The fall of Ilia!! Chapter One
A/N: I don't care if you flame me, but don't even try to send a virus. My system is so powerful, it will spike yours and you will have no choice but to watch it blow up.
The sun began to rise in Ordon. The birds were chirping, the dogs were barking and only one thing broke the silence...
Ilia: LLiiiiiiiinnnnnnkkkkk!!!!!!!
Link moans and gets out of bed. He decides to end her tyrrany today.
Link: I'll be one second... Heh heh heh...
(Grabs his sword)
Ilia: C'mon, we're gunna miss the morning screeches of the hawks.
All of the sudden, a Yian Kut Ku comes out of nowhere.
YKK: Squuuuuuuaaaakkkk!!!!!
Ilia: AAAiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee!!!!!! (She procedes to run like hell)
Then a Yian Garuga and a blue Kut Ku show up.
They all charge after her but due to their small brains, they all trip on their own legs.
Ilia: Nya, nya!!
Felyne: Thats my line, nya!!!! (throws a rock at her)
Ilia: Oww!!
Link comes outside to see the utter chaos unravel.
Link: Hey! I am supposed to kill her.
Link tries to attack the dogpile of Kut Kus but gets his ass kicked.
Link: Oww...
Emo Man: No need to fear! Emo Man is here!!!
Jumps on the pile of Kut Kus.
EM: Yay!!! Cannon Fodder.
Kicks the crap out of all of them.
All of the sudden, a Rathian shows up.
Ilia: Liiiink, do something!
Link: Yeah. Right.
Ilia: You suck!
The Rathian knocks her all the way to the desert. After 5 hours, she comes back and finds that Emo Man has killed the Rathian.
Ilia: Yay Emo Man!!
EM: Shut the hell up!! (Throws a flash bomb)
Ilia: I can't see!!!
Then a Rathalos and an azure Rathalos shows up.
R&AR: They've gone and killed our prostitute!
Emo Man wipes them out.
EM: YAY ME!!!!!
Ilia: Screw you!!!
A few minutes later...
Link: This is gonna taste good!
Emo Man is cooking Ilia on the spit.
Link: Where's that music coming from?
EM: Do, dee dee, do dee dee do, dee dee do dee dee, dee dee dee, dee dee dee, dee dee dee, dee dee dee, do dee, do dee, do.
Weird voice: OOHHH! THIS IS PERFECT!!!!!!
FIN
A/n this is the end of the first chapter. I think it was funny. Next a Chameleos shows up.