Say Uncle

The house was on fire, and Undyne acted like she just had the time of her life. She and Frisk were standing outside, sniggering at what had transpired, and lamenting that maybe they had taken it too far. Frisk didn't seem to mind much; they were pretty sure they just had the most interesting cooking lesson of their lives. The only things to raise an objection were both of their stomachs. Undyne's rumbled loudly, cutting short their fun as the aquatic warrior shrugged and declared her exit.

"Hold on, lemme come with you," Frisk said, catching up to the woman, "I wanna see Papyrus."

"I wanna punch Papyrus," grumbled Undyne, "then maybe make him take me out to Grillby's."

At the name of the restaurant, Frisk's stomach let out a loud growl.

"Looks like you could use a trip to Grillby's yourself," Undyne laughed.

"Yeah," Frisk replied sheepishly, "We never got to eat the spaghetti."

"We never finished making it is why!" Undyne replied, smiling.

They walked towards the boatsperson in a companionable silence. The person refused to take them both together, saying that the boat would capsize, so Undyne volunteered to go first. Frisk waited patiently for the boat to come back, but it took a lot longer than they expected. Their stomach reminded them constantly of its lack of food, and, after a while, they weren't able to take it anymore. So they pulled out their last cinnamon bunny and ate it slowly, grimacing at the now way too familiar flavor.

As soon as the cinnamon bunny was eaten, the boatsperson's boat came into view, skipping over the calm water. Frisk sighed in relief and took the boat back to Snowdin, enjoying the calm ride.

They jumped off the boat as soon as it stopped, said their goodbye, and ran to the skeleton brothers' home. They saw Undyne and Papyrus standing outside, with the skeleton motioning wildly around and the fish warrior looking ready to stab something. Frisk called out to them, and Papyrus was quick to wave back to her in greeting. They talked a while, during which she got Undyne's number, who said not to call her, but to call Papyrus, since she was planning on spending her time at his place until hers was repaired. Frisk shrugged and agreed, and Undyne's stomach took the opportunity to remind them that it wanted food.

Without another word, Undyne turned on her heels and started walking towards Grillby's, but Papyrus jumped in front of her.

"You can't eat at Grillby's today!" Yelled Papyrus in excitement, "I made spaghetti as a celebration to you two becoming friends."

"You sure your cooking skill is ready to be served at a party?" Undyne asked in concern.

"DEFINITELY!" Papyrus answered, "I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM A MASTER CHEF! THE HUMAN HAS ALREADY TASTED MY COOKING BEFORE AND LIKED IT."

"Really?" Undyne asked Frisk. They shrugged.

"Fine," Undyne replied, "Let's eat at your place."

"EXCELLENT!" The skeleton cheered before he raced ahead of them back to his home. Undyne slowly followed, and Frisk had to restrain a groan. Papyrus wasn't the best chef, and if Undyne was his teacher, they'd be lucky if the pasta was close to al dente.

They walked into the house to see everyone sitting at the dinner table, and Papyrus was bringing out the spaghetti dishes. Frisk waved to Sans, who waved back, and then quickly took their seat. A plate was placed in front of them as soon as they sat down, and, after a deep sigh, they dug in.

The pasta itself wasn't bad; a little overcooked, but not bad at all. The sauce, however, was burnt and very salty. Frisk was thankful that they didn't have to eat more than one bite, because Undyne took one bite, spat it back out, then threw the dish at Papyrus.

"You call that ready to serve food?!" She roared at the tall skeleton, "I'LL show you how to make proper spaghetti!"

She then dragged him into the kitchen, grabbing Frisk's plate with her, yelling all the way. Frisk made an unhappy noise as they looked towards Sans, who just shrugged and played with the food on his plate.

"Hey, buddy," Sans spoke up after a few minutes, "Where did the spaghetti go do dance?"

"I dunno," Frisk smiled.

"The meat ball," snickered Sans. Frisk giggled and asked, "What do you call a fake noodle?"

"What?"

"And impasta!" They both snickered.

The jokes went back and forth for a while, going silent for a few moments whenever they heard a crash form the kitchen. The food came out sooner rather than later, and the spaghetti looked better, with a much healthier looking sauce. As soon as the food was placed in front of them, Frisk dug in.

They choked as soon as she closed their mouth around the bite. The sauce had too much black pepper to the point where hot sauce would have been a more merciful option. They forced themselves to chew and swallow, noting that the pasta wasn't even al dente yet.

They gasped for air as soon as they swallowed the bite, acting as though they were underwater for a long while. They breathed and looked around the table. No one else had touched their food yet, and were all looking at Frisk expectantly.

"How is it?" Asked Undyne eagerly.

"IT'S GREAT, OBVIOUSLY," answered Papyrus, "You're the teacher here! You know more about cooking than the rest of us!"

Nope. Frisk's eyebrow twitched. They couldn't do this anymore.

Sans snickered from his end of the table.

"Nope," Frisk declared, pushing the plate away from them, "Nope, nope nope nope. I can't stand this anymore."

The two warriors were quiet in shock as Frisk jumped down from their chair. They headed into the kitchen and screamed at the sight that greeted them.

Dirty dishes were overflowing from the sink. Dirty pots were sitting on the stove and on the floor without being soaked. There were dried food splatters all over the counters. The trash can was overflowing with trash; there the pasta that Papyrus had cooked earlier was hanging haphazardly on the edge of the trash can, with most of it on the floor.

The warriors burst into the kitchen armed and ready for a fight. They were confused when they didn't find an enemy in the kitchen.

"What's the screaming about?" yelled Undyne.

"This!" Frisk answered, pointing to the kitchen, "This is a nightmare! It's the worst thing I've ever seen!"

"I WAS PLANNING ON DOING THE DISHES AFTER THE CELEBRATION MEAL," said Papyrus.

"No!" Declared Frisk, stomping their foot, "You're going to do it now!" They then pointed at Undyne, "You go out and buy me vegetables. Lots of them!"

"Okay?" Said Undyne in confusion.

Frisk pointed at Sans, who quickly said, "What are you pointing at me for? I'm not a cook."

"Music, Sans," They answered, "I need some great tunes lined up to my cooking."

"Tunes, sure thing." Sans gave her a thumbs up and then disappeared to his room.

"Well! What are you waiting for!" Frisk told the other two, "Get to it!"

They both blinked at the human in awe before going to do their respective assignments. Frisk decided to help Papyrus to speed things along. This wound up being a good idea, as Undyne returned with the groceries at the same time they were done. Frisk surveyed everything and nodded, then looked up at the two and pointed towards the living room.

"Out!" They demanded.

"BUT—"

"No buts, Papyrus! Out!"

They both headed out the door, looking extremely dejected. Sans came in as soon as they left, and set up his tunes at the corner of the kitchen before joining the others in the living room.

Frisk cracked their knuckles and got started.

For the next hour and a half, all what the three monsters in the living room heard was music, with loud sizzling every once in a while. After it, Frisk poked their head out of the kitchen and told Papyrus to come sit the table. He obliged hurriedly, looking a bit nervous as he walked out of the kitchen with ready spaghetti plates for each of them. On the side of the plate were pieces of square shaped bread loaded with vegetables. Everyone sat and waited for Frisk, who strutted out of the kitchen looking very accomplished and determined.

"So!" Started Frisk, "You've got spaghetti with lemon and olive oil, with vegetable pizza on the side. There's cannoli for dessert too once you're done! Dig in!"

Sans didn't need to be told twice, as he and Frisk all but devoured their plates. Papyrus tasted the food first, before going starry eyed and finishing his plate off. Only Undyne seemed unenthusiastic, tasting her food before playing with it.

Once Frisk finished eating, they sighed happily and sank into their chair. "How was it?" They asked around the table.

"Good," answered Sans.

"IT WAS AMAZING!" Papyrus replied, "I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ENDORSE THIS MEAL!"

"Yeah, it's great," Undyne said smarmily.

"What's wrong, Undyne?" asked Frisk in concern.

"If you're so great at this, then why didn't you say anything before? Why did you take the cooking lesson with me?"

"I didn't say anything because I was having a lot of fun," Frisk smiled, "I love cooking lessons! And I don't think I've ever as much fun as cooking with you! And seeing you both so passionate about cooking—it was the best thing ever!"

Frisk was beaming, and Undyne could only smile bashfully.

"So where'd you learn to cook like that?" The warrior fish asked.

"My uncle," Frisk replied, "he's a real chef at a fancy restaurant!"

"YOU DON'T SAY!" Papyrus seemed excited, "COULD HE MAYBE GIVE US COOKING LESSONS?"

"Sure! We can take them together!"

The three of them were smiling at each other happily. Sans gave them a moment before he spoke up.

"So, you said something about dessert?"

"DESSERT!" Yelled Papyrus and Undyne in unison.

And Frisk laughed.