Chapter 1: The Letter
No One POV
When Ponyboy woke up, he was surprised to see that it was well past nine in the morning. Darry had let him sleep in. Stretching, he let out a grunt before getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom. After doing his business, he stumbled into the kitchen. A note on the fridge let him know where his brothers were: work. They would be back later to celebrate. It was July 22, his 18th birthday. He opened the fridge, looking for food. He laughed when he laid eyes on a horse shaped pancake. He knew it was his—Soda did this every year.
As he ate, Ponyboy wondered what he should do to kill time until his brothers got home. It was the summer and he only had a couple more weeks until he went off to college. His college was nearly 3 hours away, so, for now, he wanted to spend it doing everything he loved doing while he was still home. Today, that meant going to the movies. Maybe Two-Bit would go with him. Lord knows that boy still didn't have a job. Then, maybe swinging by the DX to see Soda…and maybe his girl would be there too. Just the thought brought a smile to his face.
He and Cathy had been going together for a while now and she would usually be at the DX getting a milkshake with her best friends. Her parents weren't too keen on him—Greasers got a bad rep, not to mention what had happened a few years ago—so they usually had to meet in public places with others around so it wouldn't look like anything.
Ponyboy got ready for the day and was about to leave when he saw the mailman closing their mailbox. The youngest Curtis didn't bother waving or smiling at him—the mailman had a stick up his butt. Probably because he had to deliver in this particular neighborhood. Ponyboy waited for the mailman to leave, choosing to smoke a cig as he did. Finally, the mailman left and he rushed to the mailbox throwing his burnt cig on the ground and stepping on it as he went. He eagerly opened the box. His scholarship letter was supposed to come any day now. He didn't tell his brothers- he wanted it to be a surprise.
Ponyboy grabbed all the mail and retreated to the porch to dig through it. It was mostly bills, to his disappointment. Until, he saw his name. He had tunnel vision, thinking he knew who it was from. He just assumed it was from the college because he never got any other mail. Eagerly, he threw down the rest of the mail beside him as he sat on the steps and tore into his letter.
To Ponyboy Curtis:
You are hereby ordered to report for induction into the ARMED FORCES of the UNITED STATES and to report to….
Ponyboy stopped reading abruptly, taking a shaky breath. This wasn't happening. It couldn't happen. He was supposed to be at college in 2 weeks!
"Well, well, well, look who it is…. guess it's PonyMAN today. Happy birthday, squirt!" A loud obnoxious voice caused Ponyboy to look up. As much as he wished he could, he couldn't even fake a smile. Two-Bit frowned, noticing how down his friend was. He walked closer, sitting on the steps next to Ponyboy.
Ponyboy wordlessly handed him the letter, with shaking hands. He didn't look up, but he knew the exact moment his friend read it when he heard a sharp intake of breath. The newly turned 18 year old pulled out a cig and lit it, hoping to calm his nerves as it usually did. Today, however, it didn't. His hands were shaking too much so he ended up tossing it to the ground by his foot and stepped on it. What a waste, he thought bitterly.
"Shit, man…." Two-bit was at a loss for words, which would have been funny if Ponyboy hadn't just been drafted.
Ponyboy didn't say anything, but merely took back the letter. He crumbled it in his hands. He wanted to rip it to pieces.
"It'll be alright, Pone. Maybe you won't pass the medical exam—" Two-Bit tried to cheer him up, but it was no use. They both knew he was healthy as a horse—pun intended—and would most likely be sent overseas.
"I, um, I'm gonna take a walk." Pony spoke up, softly, standing up. The letter drifted to the ground, but he didn't pick it up. He walked down the steps and almost continued when he thought of something. He turned back to his friend, "Don't, uh, say anything, alright, Two-Bit? I just want… Damn it, I don't… I don't—" He shook his head, his thoughts were too jumbled. He ran a hand down his face. He wasn't making sense. Somehow, Two-Bit understood.
Two-Bit nodded, seriously, "Of course, Pone."
Pony gave him a grateful smile before turning to walk towards…. well, he had planned on the movies. Now, he didn't quite know what to do. His brain wouldn't shut up. He was being drafted. He was going to war. He felt ill and didn't know what to do with himself. So, he walked aimlessly for a while in attempt to wrap his mind around that damn letter. His eyes clouded over, eyes on the ground as he thought about his brothers. How would they take this? Hell, how would he even deal with it? Before he knew it, his feet led him to the DX.
He saw Cathy laughing through the window at something Soda had said. His happy-go-lucky brother was inside today, working the cash register. He was leaning on his elbows on the countertop. Pony looked away as his throat closed up at the sight. This was going to destroy Sodapop. At that thought, he picked up his pace. Walking turned to running and before he knew it he was at the very lot Johnny killed Bob in years ago. If he was going to be miserable, he was going to do it right. He stayed there for a while, tears dripping down his face as he smoked. Four cigs later, he grew tired of the scenery and started walking again.
Darry would yell and scream. Soda would probably cry. Pony was suddenly angry. Angry that he had to leave his family. Angry that he didn't have a choice in the matter. Why him? Why now? He was barely 18 years old and now he was being asked—no, told—to go fight in a war? It was so god damn unfair that he wanted to cry and hit something at the same time.
When he calmed down, he finally decided on telling them after his birthday. Darry and Soda deserved one more day before he ruined his brother's lives. He racked his brain, attempting to remember exactly what else the letter had said. It had mentioned something about induction—a medical exam he would have to go through before being assigned a unit— but he couldn't be sure of when. He had stopped processing it after reading Armed Forces.
So, with that, he slowly made his way back home to reread the letter. Two-Bit was gone, which was a surprise. Hopefully, he'd keep his mouth shut. At least for tonight. Pony went inside, looking around before noticing one of his books on the kitchen table. He opened it up and the letter was tucked inside, folded neatly. He pulled it out, reading it in its entirety. He wasn't supposed to report for induction for a couple of days. He let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.
He had time. So, with that thought, he knew what he wanted. He wanted to celebrate his birthday the way he had planned before opening that damn mailbox. Ponyboy stuffed the letter in his pocket, not wanting anyone to stumble upon it before he was ready.
Ponyboy felt his throat close tight as he reached the DX for the second time that day. He had told Soda the night before that he'd probably show up so it'd be weird if he did. His feet felt like led as he walked up the steps and, despite running away like he desperately wanted to do, he pushed open the door. He heard the jingle of the bell and quickly entered, narrowly missing a lady running through the door. He rolled his eyes.
The DX was busy and loud, which wasn't abnormal but Pony felt exposed. Just before he could tuck tail and run, his brother noticed him.
"There he is! The birthday boy!" Soda exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. "How goes it?"
Pony felt his heart beat loudly in his chest. He hated lying to his brothers. Well, more accurately, he hated lying to Soda. When he didn't say anything, Soda frowned and was about to ask him what was wrong. Pony knew that, so he immediately plastered on a fake smile as he moved to sit on a barstool.
"Hiya, Soda. What d'ya say about getting this old man a Pepsi?" Pony was relieved to hear that his voice didn't even shake. It was as if it were any other day. The younger Curtis felt the crisp paper in his pocket and as reminded that it wasn't. Soda sized him up and the younger brother felt like a bug under a microscope. He forced himself to not fidget in his seat. He guessed his brother found what he was looking for because Soda shrugged and got him one out of the cooler behind the counter. He grinned, sliding it to him.
"Old man? I think that's more Darry than you, Ponyboy.
Pony couldn't help it, he laughed. Soda ruffled his hair, causing him to scowl. Soda, however, merely laughed, and went about wiping down the countertop. Pony took a gulp of Pepsi and looked around the room. It was packed. He was surprised he found a seat.
"Busy today, huh?" He asked then smirked, "Must be 'cause of me."
Soda barked out a laugh, causing all the girls in the room to turn their attention on him. As if it hadn't already been. Pony could've sworn he heard a girl sigh. He was about to say something when his eyes were covered with petite hands.
"Guess who," a soft voice whispered in his ear.
Pony felt himself grin, "I don't know, but whoever you are you better watch out. My girl will be here any minute and she'll kick your ass."
She laughed, causing him to smile, genuinely. The hands stripped away and he felt her kiss his cheek. He turned beat red and heard Soda let out a long whistle, but that day he didn't care. He merely grinned and watched as she sat beside him. She smiled at him and he couldn't help but throw her a wink.
"Jesus, get a room already," Steve barked as he passed through, but Pony could see through it. Steve gave him a half smile, indicating he was joking.
Pony merely nodded at him, taking a large pull from his Pepsi. Things were getting better between him and Steve. He wasn't sure why, but he wasn't going to jinx it. The faint blush was still on his cheeks.
"What can I getcha, Cathy?" Soda asked, smile on his face.
"A Pepsi, please, Soda."
"You two and your damn Pepsi's…" Soda laughed, looking in the cooler before sighing and closing it. They must've run out. "I'll be back. Lover boy here took the last one."
Cathy playfully glared at Pony, who merely shrugged innocently as he finished off his drink.
Ponyboy POV
I turned to my girl. She was beautiful, as always. Her brown hair tied up in a ponytail, bright green eyes looking right at me. She started say something, but then frowned as if she was thinking something over. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked me over. She knew something was wrong. I swallowed to keep myself from spilling my guts. Not today, I reminded myself.
"What's going on?"
I loved that about her. She could always tell when I was upset, even if I never said a word. I put on a smirk.
"Nothing."
She didn't believe it, but I think because it was my birthday, she let it slide. She grinned, "I've got a present for you."
"I just so happen to love presents, so you're in luck."
She shook her head, laughing and that's when Soda popped back up. He slid my girl her drink, which she eagerly started drinking. I couldn't blame her, it was July in Oklahoma.
"He may legally be 18, but the kid loves presents like a 5 year old fat boy loves cake." Soda wiggled his eyebrows at me.
I laughed softly, grinning at my brother. He looked happy, but I could tell that he knew something wasn't quite right. He shot me a look, as if silently asking if I was okay. I ignored it, turning back to Cathy. He wouldn't like my answer to that. I swallowed thickly as she handed me a wrapped present. It was thick, like a book. I already knew what it was. I looked up with her, eyes shiny before I coughed and blinked them away before my brother or her could question me on them. I tore into it, smiling when I set my eyes on it for real. The Great Gatsby. I had been dropping hints about it for a couple months.
"Thanks, Cath." My voice soft. I leaned in, kissing her on the cheek. Then, I teased, "I'm glad to see physical evidence of you actually listening to me when I speak."
She rolled her eyes, sticking out her tongue at me, "I listen... sometimes."
I merely shake my head, looking down at the book. It was in mint condition and I couldn't love the girl anymore than I already did.
Later on that night, as my buddies sang happy birthday, I felt happy. Content. Even with the letter hanging over my head, I wasn't going to let it ruin everybody's night.
"Present time!" Soda cheered, throwing a couple presents on the table after we ate cake.
"Y'all really didn't—"
"Well, I'll take it if you don't want it." TwoBit grinned, taking the envelope away from me and shaking it, but I could tell his heart wasn't in it. We locked eyes and I smiled.
"Hands off," I teased, taking it back. I opened the envelope, gawking at what I saw. A brochure for a cabin. "Seriously?!"
"Seriously." Darry spoke, obviously proud that I liked the present. Soda looked pleased with himself, too. "Soda and me got a couple days off. We'll drive down there tomorrow."
I beamed at him and then Soda, feeling the lump in my throat, "Thanks, guys."
How the hell was I going to tell them?
They were taking me to a cabin that Dad used to take us to. It was kind of pricey, but Dad had been friends with the owner back in the day and he always gave Dad a good deal. We hadn't been there in ages. It was a big deal that both of them could get off to go.
At the end of the night, I was sitting on the porch looking at the stars while smoking a cig. I just finished it when the door creaked open and I turned to see Cathy coming towards me. I smiled, gesturing for her to come sit. She didn't even have to do anything to make me feel better. She just... did.
"Good birthday?" She asked, sitting down and leaning her head on my shoulder. I put my arm around her, not caring who saw. The gang didn't care, but Darry seemed a little freaked that I was growing up. He was torn between being brotherly (being happy for me) and being parental (overprotective). In the end, he eventually grew to like Cathy and the fact that she made me happy. He still got a little bit antsy when we showed affection, though. Tonight was my birthday, though, so I figured it didn't really matter.
I couldn't help the tears that snuck up on me as I responded with a sad voice, "Great birthday. All 'cause of you."
"Ponyboy, I wish you'd just tell me what's wrong." She spoke sadly, lifting her head. I should've known she wasn't going to let it go. Just when I was about to retort that nothing was wrong, she spoke up again, "now, don't you go lyin' to me, Ponyboy Michael. I can see right through it."
I knew she did. I smirked before removing my arm from her shoulders. This wasn't going to be easy. All day I considered not even telling her, but I couldn't. I was selfish. I wanted her to tell me that everything was going to be alright. I swallowed thickly, pulling out a cig and lighting it. I looked out into the distance, avoiding her eyes. I smoked for a few seconds before speaking.
"I got a letter today." I began, pausing. I fought the urge to tuck tail and run. I could hear my father's voice telling me that it was time to be a man.
"Your scholarship?" She asked, happily then paused before saying, "Wait, no, if it was that you wouldn't be upset. What is it, Pony?"
I didn't say anything for a long time. I could practically feel her anxiousness in the air. She knew that, whatever it was, had rattled me good.
"I got drafted." I finally said. "I'm going to Vietnam."
Cathy didn't say anything, but I felt her lean back onto my shoulder. She was shaking. I felt her tears on my neck. I would've cried with her, but I was all cried out. All I felt then, in that moment, was numb. I tightened my grip around her shoulders.
"Have you told—"
"No." My voice wavered. I closed my eyes and just held her.
Again, we were silent. I felt eyes on us and looked back at the window. The curtain dropped. That was a sign from Darry that it was getting late. Now that I was 18, it didn't really matter, but Cathy's parents would freak if I brought her home later than 11. We said nothing on the walk, merely holding hands but that was enough. When we reached her house, we both stood at her front door, neither knowing what to say. She was the one who broke the silence.
"Ponyboy…" Her voice cracked and she began to cry again, throwing her arms around me. "I… I love you."
I held her, tightly for a while. Long enough for my arms to nearly go numb. I whispered that I loved her back. We pulled away and she put a light kiss on my lips before opening her door. I gave her a half-hearted smile as she closed the door behind her.
I walked back to my house, wiping away tears and wondering if I should've just broken up with her right then. It would've been easier. For her, anyway.