I Won't Give Up
A/N: Takes place after Fitzsimmons wedding :)
After they had snapped some photos in their forest paradise the team noticed that it was slowly collapsing in on itself and moved the festivities inside.
Phil stood on the outskirts watching the team celebrating Fitzsimmons wedding and hoping that they would remain as happy after he was gone.
"Just because we're happy now doesn't mean we'll stay this way," a voice behind him stated.
Phil didn't even notice her walk away from the group let alone sneak up behind him.
"This is how I want to remember them," Phil answered without turning around.
"You shouldn't talk like that," Melinda responded sternly.
"We both know that we can't do anything to change this so we just need to accept it. I refuse to stop living until it comes but more importantly I refuse to let you all put your lives on hold for me," Phil said firmly as he turned to face Melinda for the first time since the ceremony.
Melinda looked him straight in the eye defiantly and said, "I won't let you die again," before she walked off in an attempt to end the direction of the conversation.
Phil released a deep breath as he fought for the courage to go after her. Whether they liked it or not he was dying and they were going to talk about it.
Before he could take two steps in the direction Melinda left in Phil was bombarded by Jemma's arms being thrown around him. Not knowing what else to do Phil wrapped his arms tightly around the young newlywed scientist.
"Thank you sir, for letting us do this. After everything that we have been through as a family I think we could all do with a day to celebrate the good," Jemma said by way of explanation for the hug as she pulled out of aforementioned hug.
Phil smiled softly at her, "you're very welcome. As I said in my speech, we've all been awaiting this day for years. You are right though today was perfect timing for it."
Jemma noticed Phil's eyes darting around the room in search of one specific person. Phil looked back to Jemma when his search did not have the desired effect and noticed a guilty look on her face.
"She asked me to distract you so she could sneak out to see Yoyo," Jemma admitted hurriedly, "I'm sorry sir but she seemed desperate which worried me because May is never worried in such a desperate way…"
Phil put his hand up to stop Jemma, "take a breath Jemma," he ordered gently, "it's okay. I know that she's avoiding me and yes I do see the irony, karma at its finest."
Phil gave Jemma another quick hug and smiled at her, "thank you Jemma for looking out for her and congratulations again. You should join your guests and I'll go and find May. Don't worry I won't tell her that you caved."
Jemma gave a nervous laugh as she rejoined her husband and guests while Phil went in search of Melinda.
*Meanwhile*
Melinda sat on Yoyo's bed beside her.
Neither woman was very good with expressing their emotions but they had learned to rely on one another when they were having a hard time.
Melinda hated seeming weak but Phil forced her to be that way whenever he was around her.
Knowing that he was dying had left a gapping hole in Melinda's heart, one that she wasn't ready to talk about to anyone. That was the good thing about Yoyo; she didn't try to force Melinda to open up about things that were bothering her. Yoyo knew that at the end of the day Melinda would talk to her when she was ready, there was no need to push for information.
After ten minutes of silence though Yoyo had to fill it.
"Mack showed me the video of the ceremony. How was it from your perspective?" Yoyo asked Melinda.
"It was beautiful. Honestly we couldn't have asked for a better day. The forest, although highly dangerous, was stunning and gave us all a feeling of peace. Until it began collapsing on us," Melinda teased.
Yoyo rolled her eyes and laughed, "well I'm glad that none of you were crushed or sent to another dimension."
Melinda laughed, "thanks."
Yoyo smiled, "I thought that was a nice thing to say. I'm glad everyone is able to enjoy themselves. It's been a difficult few months. We all deserve some happiness."
Melinda smiled sadly and nodded.
Yoyo gave her a stern look, "something happened with Coulson."
Melinda refused to look at her friend, "nothing happened."
"That's the problem," Yoyo decided.
"Actually he wouldn't stop talking about dying so I left. Nothing was going to happen anyway so why waste my time," Melinda sighed.
Yoyo awkwardly tried to hug Melinda and Melinda rested her head on Yoyo's shoulder.
"I don't know how much more of this I can take. If I thought being upfront with him would make a difference I would have done that ages ago but it won't. He's stubborn and refuses to accept anything that would make his life better and worth living," Melinda said sadly.
"You should still tell him, you never know the idiot might surprise you," Yoyo pointed out.
"I highly doubt it," Melinda mumbled.
"The idiot might surprise you," a voice from the doorway spoke.
Both Melinda and Yoyo turned in shock to see Phillip J. Coulson standing in the doorway.
"We should talk," Phil said, his eyes never leaving Melinda.
Melinda nodded, "I'll let Mack know to come see you," she said to Yoyo as she climbed off of the bed and followed Phil from the room.
Yoyo watched them leave with a smile on her face. She really hoped that Fitzsimmons wouldn't be the only happy couple today, well aside from herself and Mack.
Melinda and Phil walked down a corridor that would lead them away from the festivities. They needed to talk alone, meaning no interruptions.
Since being in the lighthouse they had both found plenty of places to hide out in to get away from their team. They walked towards one of the 'exits' out of the lighthouse that lead to another corridor only accessible with the right key-code. It was a fairly large space which meant that there was plenty of room for the pair to sit and not feel like the walls were closing in on them. Melinda was grateful for this; it meant she didn't have to sit directly next to Phil. In his infinite wisdom Phil had created a key-code for the corridor that only he and Melinda would know; another thing for her to be grateful about.
They sat down cross-legged across from one another.
Neither spoke.
Neither knew what to say.
They had plenty they wanted to say to one another they just didn't know where to start.
Melinda decided to text Mack and let him know to go and see Yoyo. She needed a few more minutes to think before the inevitable happened.
Phil watched her with a twinkle in his eyes. He really hoped that this conversation wasn't going to end in an argument like every other conversation they seem to have these days.
"I'm tired," Phil began, "I'm tired of arguing with you. I'm tired of us not being on the same page. I'm tired of not having you by my side. I'm tired of not knowing if talking to you will end in an argument. I'm tired of not being able to talk to you. Melinda, whether we like it or not I am dying but, I'm still here. The problem is I'm only existing, I'm not living and I'm tired of it. I want to live, Melinda I want us to live."
Melinda looked at him uncertainly, she hated being vulnerable with Phil. Especially when he was so vulnerable right now and he needed her to be the strong one again. She was always the strong one between them.
"I want that too," Melinda said softly, "we can't do that while we're here."
Phil looked at Melinda in surprise, "you want to walk away from S.H.I.E.L.D.?"
"Not now but soon. Phil if we're really going to live, to make up for the missed opportunities over the years then we have to walk away. We have to get the team back into reality and then go," Melinda said more confidently.
Phil smiled, "one last mission then we're out for good?"
Melinda shrugged and smiled, "we'll see how long we last but yeah."
Phil's smile widened, "that's the best plan I've heard since this mess began."
Melinda laughed and moved to sit beside Phil.
Phil took her hand and she rested her head on his shoulder.
Phil and Melinda sat there thinking about what their future could look like and suddenly Phil wasn't as ready to die as he thought.
For the first time in weeks this didn't feel like the end, it finally felt like a new beginning.