Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.
This is just a little one-shot I wrote to get past a little writer's block. I hope you like it. There's some mention of Genma/Hayate.
Enjoy! :)
"Is the tent set up yet?" asked Ibiki, returning from preliminary recon to find Genma and Kakashi lazing about on the ground, half-heartedly playing cards.
"Yeah," said Genma, pointing over his shoulder towards a thick set of bushes. "Raido's sleeping inside or something."
This mission had been a little bit weird for all of them so far. It was a replay of a mission they'd all done during the war, when Kakashi still had two eyes and Genma still had Hayate and Raido still had his good looks and Ibiki still had...he'd lost so much he couldn't quite put it into words. Years ago, when the war had still been going on and they hadn't lost quite all of their innocence to brutality and murder, the four of them had been sent out to track a defected ninja who had run to their enemy (at the time), the Rock. Now they were doing the exact same thing, except that they were now, according to the treaty singed by the Rock, allowed to be on the land.
Genma started whistling, and Ibiki suppressed the urge to rip his senbon out of his mouth and stuff it down his throat.
"Relax, man," drawled Genma. "You look like someone just killed your cat."
They were waiting for confirmation of a report that their target was nearby, and now they were just killing time. Genma cast a silence jutsu over the tent, and Ibiki reluctantly clambered into it with the others.
"This tent is a lot smaller now." complained Genma, who was practically sitting on Raido, who from the looks of it, had been unpleasantly awoken by the senbon-sucking man.
"We're a lot bigger now." drawled Kakashi, who had pulled out Make-Out Paradise. How condescending.
"In more ways than one." smirked Genma. Radio gagged.
"Genma, if you're going to sit on me, at least don't be gross. You might get your gay germs all over me."
"Aw, is little Rai scared?" teased Genma. "Big gay Genma is out to get him. Don't worry, I'd never go for a little loser like you."
Ibiki wasn't surprised at their behavior. He'd dealt with thousands of ninja like them, ninja who hid their insecurities under fake humor. Ibiki glanced at Kakashi, and chuckled inside. At least Raido and Genma were decent at it. Kakashi's facade of perverse indifference was as see-through as you could get.
"Hey, Ibiki, I can tell you're enjoying yourself," commented Kakashi. "I'm sure this night will be over soon. Time flies when you're having fun."
Ibiki glared. He felt so much hatred right then he couldn't even express it into words. He was crammed in a small tent with three of the most irritating shinobi in Konoha.
They fell silent, doing things like checking and re-checking their supplies and making sure they hadn't acquired any unnoticed injuries. Then, as the night went on, they started preparing for sleep. Ibiki volunteered for first shift, and he watched Kakashi shed his gloves and headband, watched Genma and Raido ditch their flack jackets, and felt a vague sense of lose. He could never feel comfortable showing even his hands to his closest friend.
Genma laid down with his senbon still in, and Kakashi and Raido soon followed. Ibiki stayed upright, watching the rain thrum against the tent.
There was a moment of silence.
"Hey," said Raido softly. "How the hell did this happen?"
Kakashi hummed in response, the most Ibiki ever expected to get out of him. He continued staring at the wall of the tent.
Ibiki could see the shadow of Raido's hand touch the scarred side of his face subconsciously. Kakashi's arms didn't move from their place behind his head.
"Remember the first time we did this?" grumbled Genma good-naturedly. "We were so naive."
"I was a douchebag." commented Kakashi unnecessarily. They were all quite aware of the gigantic dick Kakashi had been.
Ibiki didn't say anything. He wasn't sure he was even a part of this conversation.
"i thought being a ninja was so cool," muttered Raido. "Damn, I was barely out of the Academy. That place didn't teach us anything worth knowing."
"What could they teach us?" murmured Kakashi. "You can't prepare to be a ninja, not really."
"How should you know?" snorted Genma. "You were there for, what, a year?"
"Not even that." chuckled Kakashi. It was a sad little laugh, and Ibiki knew that in hindsight Kakashi would've liked to had a little longer in the Academy.
"Hey, Ibiki?" asked Raido suddenly.
"What?"
"Do you ever hear from Idate anymore?"
Ibiki was caught by surprise. Idate's existence, while not a secret, wasn't something he advertised. He'd figured they knew but didn't care.
"Once and a while," he admitted gruffly. "Sends me letters."
"Sad." replied Genma noncommittally.
Raido lifted his head slightly. "Genma, how's your mom? Is she still crazy?"
"Still crazy as ever," agreed Genma. "She's a pain in my ass."
"Mine too," replied Raido. "But I'm smart enough to appreciate my mother, unlike some people I know." He glared a little at Genma.
"You two are so gay." said Ibiki solemnly.
Raido gagged and Genma smirked and said, "Thank you."
The rain started falling harder, and Ibiki tried not to wince. He, like most other ninja, hated rain, not because of what it looked like, but because weather fluxuations made old wounds hurt, and any ninja worth his salt had a few. Ibiki, on the other hand, had more than a few, and he'd had to stay in from work during thunderstorms or blizzards becuase of the pain in his joints. He rubbed his arm, and the other three ninja noticed.
"Hey, I'll take the first watch if you want me too." offered Raido.
"I'm not going to get any sleep either way." said Ibiki. He hated sleeping in front of other people, because nightmares came regardless of company.
"Man, you are seriously fucked up." whined Genma.
Ibiki growled a little.
"Hey, we all are, it's just worse with you. I'm still young and hot."
Raido shoved him. "Shut up."
Genma stuck out his tongue at him. "Old man."
Kakashi smirked. "I'm the youngest one here."
"By a year." reminded Ibiki. It was odd to think about, but Ibiki was on the young end of the scale, nearly eight years younger than Raido. He didn't look it, and you could see his real age in his eyes.
"I like rain." said Kakashi suddenly.
"Masochist." retorted Genma without thinking. There was an awkward silence as the three men tried to figure out how Ibiki was going to react to Genma's words.
Ibiki turned to them and raised an eyebrow. "I guess the village really does think that of me," he said clearly, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Glad to see you buy into it."
"Sorry, man," apologised Genma sheepishly. "My bad."
"I used to be a masochist," commented Kakashi calmly. "Back when I was young and stupid."
"You're still stupid." said Genma at the same time Raido said, "Weren't we all?"
"No." said Ibiki, replying to Raido's response.
"You've never been a masochist?" challenged Kakashi.
"There's a difference between sadism and masochism." said Ibiki dryly.
"So you're a sadist?"
"No, but that's what people seem to think. Who am I to disprove their theories?"
Kakashi hummed again. "I see."
"I used to prick myself with my needle." admitted Genma.
"Dude, we know," said Raido. "We could see your bloody lips. Everyone thought you had herpes at first."
"On my mouth?" Genma sounded amused.
"With your hobbies..."
"Aw, shut up."
"Do you miss Hayate?" asked Ibiki, partly to keep them on their toes and partly for payback for the Idate comment.
Genma sighed before responding. "You have no idea. Every day of my fucking life, man. Every single day."'
Raido closed his eyes, touching his scar again.
"Sorry for asking." said Ibiki, finding that he actually was sorry.
"Yeah, we're all sorry," muttered Genma. "What I'm really sorry about is that damn alliance with the Sand. It may have been Orochimaru who ordered the attack, but it was one of them who killed him."
"Let's not think about that right now," replied Raido quietly. "We have a mission to worry about instead."
Kakashi gave a sardonic little laugh. "You know as well as I do that the recon report won't be in until at least tomorrow."
"Who's in charge?" asked Genma obliviously.
Ibiki shook his head. "You should really know these things, Shiranui. Anko's heading the recon squad tonight."
Raido rolled his eyes. "Whoever put her in charge must've been off his rocker."
"Actually, it was me." said Ibiki, smirking.
"You got it right, he is off his rocker." snickered Genma.
Ibiki ignored Genma. "She wasn't my first choice either, but Yugao was out of commission and everyone else is already on a mission."
"She has big tits." conceded Genma.
They all stared at him, even Ibiki.
"What?" asked Kakashi.
Genma grinned. "I can appreciate sexuality when I see it."
"You're supposed to say you can appreciate beauty when you see it."
"Yeah, but Anko's not beautiful." snickered Genma.
"She's not that bad." defended Ibiki.
"Yeah, 'cause you'll go for whoever you can get." teased Genma. He stopped in his tracks when the hurt look on Ibiki's face became apparent. Ibiki quickly hid it with surliness, but it was too late. All night they had been bordering on each others' insecurities, and Genma had finally crossed the line. Ibiki turned back to staring at the wall of the tent, and Kakashi and Raido shot Genma angry looks. Genma returned their glares with an sheepish expression.
"I hate rainy missions." muttered Raido moodily.
"Anything to serve Konoha, right?" said Kakashi without a hint of humor.
"Sometimes I wonder whether it's worth it." said Genma softly.
"Don't say it too loud," said Ibiki harshly. "I may have to take you in for questioning."
"I hope you're joking," replied Genma nervously. "I've spent my whole life protecting this village. Can't I have a couple minutes once and a while to doubt and complain about it?"
"If I'd taken that luxury I wouldn't be here right now."
"Yeah, and it sucks, man," replied Genma seriously. "And, honestly, we're all glad it's not us, because we don't think we could do it. I don't think of myself as a potential traitor, but what those assholes did to you was inhumane."
"That's a nice way of putting it." added Raido.
Kakashi hummed again. "You know what I think?"
"What?" asked Raido.
"I think Anko better get her big tits over here if she doesn't want us all to turn gay."
They all laughed, even Ibiki. The tension was broken.
I wasn't really sure how to end it...what did you think?