September 4

Dear Diary,

Here I am at 5:30 in the morning, awake and scared. I keep telling myself it's just that I'm all messed up from the time difference between Italy and here. But that doesn't explain why I feel so scared. So lost.

The day before yesterday, while Obaa-san Guren, Amera and I were driving back from the airport, I had such a weird feeling, when we turned onto our street. I suddenly thought, 'Mom and Dad are waiting for us at home, I bet they'll be on the front porch or on the living room looking out the window. They must have missed us so much'.

I know. That sounds totally crazy. But even when I saw the house, and the front porch, I still felt that way. I ran up the steps and knocked with the knocker. And when Obaa-san Guren unlocked the door, I burst inside and just stood in the hallway, listening, excepting to hear Mom coming down the stairs or Dad calling from the library. Just then Obaa-san Guren let a suitcase crash on the floor behind me and sighed a huge sigh and said, "We're home."

Home. I'm home. Why does that sound like a lie?

I was born here in Konohagakure. I've always lived in this house, always.

But right now, everything looks strange to me, as if I don't belong here. It's me that's out of space. And the worst feeling is that I feel there's somewhere I do belong, but I just can't find it.

I was too tired yesterday to go to Orientation. Hinata picked up my schedule for me. But I didn't feel like talking to her on the phone. Obaa-san Guren told everyone who called that I had jet leg and was sleeping.

I've got to see the crowd today, though. We're supposed to meet in the parking lot before school. Is that why I'm scared?

Am I frightened of them?

Shiroi Hoga stopped writing. She stared at the last line she had written and then shook her head, pen hovering over the small book with the blue velvet cover.

It was all completely ridiculous. Since when had she, Shiroi Hoga, been scared of meeting people? Since when had she been scared of anything?

She stood up and angrily thrust her arms into a red silk kimono. She didn't even glance at the elaborate Victorian mirror above the Cherrywood dresser; she knew what she'd see. Shiroi Hoga, cool and brunette and slender, the high school senior, the girl every boy wanted and every girl wanted to be.

She got dressed, the mirror showed a girl with a secret smile. Her earlier fears had melted away, forgotten.

"Shiroi!" Where are you? You're going to be late for school!" The voice drifted faintly up from below. She grabbed her backpack and went downstairs.

In the kitchen, four-year-old Amera was eating her cereal at the kitchen table, and Obaa-san Guren was burning something on the stove. Obaa-san Guren was the sort of woman who always looked vaguely flustered; she had a thin, mild face and light brown hair pushed back untidily. Shiroi landed a peck on her cheek. "Good morning. Sorry I don't have time for breakfast."

"But, Shiroi, you can't go off without eating, you need protein-"

"I'll get a doughnut before school", Said Shiroi briskly, she dropped a kiss on Amera's head and turned to go.

"But, Shiroi-"

"And I'll probably go home with Hinata or Sakura so don't wait for dinner. Bye!"

"Shiroi-"

Shiroi was already at the front door. She closed it behind her, cutting off Obaa-san Guren's distant protests.

She stopped walking suddenly in the middle of the pavement. All the bad feelings of the morning rushed over her again. The anxiety, the fear. And the certainty that something terrible was about to happen.

The Hoga district was deserted. The houses looked as if they were empty of people, but full of strange watching things.

That was it; something was watching her. The sky overhead was not blue, but milky and opaque, like a giant bowl turned upside down. The air was stifling, and Shiroi felt sure that there were eyes on her.

She caught sight of something dark in the branches of the old quince tree in front of the house.

It was a crow, sitting as still as the yellow-tinged leaves around it. And it was the thing watching her.

She tried to tell herself that this was ridiculous, but somehow she knew. It was the biggest crow she had ever seen, plump and sleek, with rainbows shinning in its black feathers. She could see every detail of it clearly: the greedy dark claws, the sharp beak, the single glittering black eye.

It was so motionless that it might have been a wax model of a bird sitting there. But as she stared at it, Shiroi felt herself flush slowly, heat coming in waves up her throat and cheeks. Because it was. Looking at her. Looking the way boys looked at her when she wore a bathing suit or a sheer blouse. As if it was undressing her with these eyes.

Before she realized what she was doing. She had dropped her backpack and picked up a stone from beside the driveway. "Get out of here!" she said and heard the shaking anger in her voice. "Go on! Get away!" With the last word, she threw the stone.

There was an explosion of leaves, but the crow soared up unharmed. Its wings were huge. Shiroi crouched, suddenly panicked as if flapped directly over her head, the wind of its wings ruffling her brown hair.

But it swooped up again and circled a black silhouette against the paper-white sky. Then, with another harsh croak, it wheeled away toward the woods.

Shiroi straightened up slowly, and then glanced around, self-conscious. She couldn't believe what she had just done. But now that the bird was gone, the sky felt ordinary again. A little wind made the leaves flutter, and Shiroi took a deep breath.

How could she have been so silly? This a beautiful day, full of promise and nothing was going to happen.

Nothing was going to happen. ..Except that she was going to be late for school.

Without a backward glance is the quince tree, she began walking as quickly as she could down the street.

The crow crashed through the top of the massive oak, and Sasuke's head jerked up reflexively. When he saw it was only a bird, he relaxed.

His eyes dropped to the limp white form in his hands, and he felt his face twist in regret. He hadn't meant to kill it. He would have hunted something larger than a rabbit if he'd known how hungry he was.

He stood beneath the ancient oak tree, sun-light filtering down onto his silk, spiky hair. In jeans and a T-shirt, Sasuke Uchiha looked exactly like a normal high school student.

He wasn't.

Deep in the woods, where no one would see him, he'd come to feed. Now he licked his gums and lips painstakingly, to make sure there was no stain on them. He didn't want to take any chances. This masquerade was going to be hard enough to pull off as it was.

He was tired of living in the shadows; he was tired of the darkness, and of the things lived in it. Most of all, he was tired of being alone, even though he thought again if it was a good idea.

Sasuke appreciated respect for the past. He thought he perhaps...just perhaps...he might find a place among them.

He slapped his thoughts away. He'd renounced the darkness; he'd left the shadows behind him. He was blotting all those long years out and starting new from today.

As he slung his jacket over his shoulder, he noticed the crow that had disturbed him earlier. It was still on the oak tree, and it was watching him. There was a wrong-ness about it.

He started to send a probing thought toward it, to examine the bird, and stopped himself. 'Remember your promise', he thought, you don't use the Powers unless it is absolutely necessary.

Not unless there is no other choice.

Moving almost silently among the dead leaves and dry twigs, he made his wat toward the edge of the woods. His car was parked there. He glanced back, once, and saw that the crow had left the branches and dropped down on the rabbit.

There was something sinister in the way it spread its wings over the limp white body. Sasuke's throat tightened, and he almost strode back to chase the bird away. Still, it had as much right to eat as he fox did, he told himself. As much right as he did. If he encountered the bird again, he'd look into his mind, he decided. Just now, he tore his eyes from the sight of it and hurries through the woods, jaw set. He didn't want to be late arriving at Hidden Leaf High school.