Character Conversations: Diego
Tigey Wigey: So Diego... how are you today?
Diego: Uh, good... *snickers* ...nice name.
Tigey Wigey: I thought you might like it.
Diego: No, no, I hate it when Sid calls me that... it's just... why'd you pick that as your username?
Tigey Wigey: Well it's better than average names like twilight16 or iceagelover137, now isn't it?
Diego: *remembers all the times Sid has called him Tigey Wigey*...No.
Tigey Wigey: ...Well, then... Changing the subject... So...guess what?
Diego: *grows suspicious* ...What?
Tigey Wigey: A fourth Ice Age is coming out soon! This time, a natural disaster will separate Ellie, Crash, Eddie, and Peaches from you, Manny, and Sid. You three will use an iceberg as a makeshift ship in the ocean while you put yourself in grave peril battling ruthless pirates and sea creatures, and Scrat's nut will get him into places that no prehistoric squirrel has ever gone before... *dramatic music plays*
Diego: *dramatic music stops* So basically, you're saying this buck-toothed squirrel will chase after an acorn while I'm stuck on a piece of ice with Manny and Sid in the middle of the ocean meanwhile beating up one-legged weirdos?
Tigey Wigey: Yeah, I guess so, but doesn't it sound a lot better the other way?
Diego: To you... I don't want to be stuck in the middle of the ocean. You know I hate water!
Tigey Wigey: Do you hate it... or are you terrified of it?
Diego: I'm not terrified of water!
Tigey Wigey: *pulls out hose and aims at Diego*
Diego: *cowers nervously* W-What is that?
Tigey Wigey: A hose. It shoots out water whenever I squeeze the lever... *squeezes lever slightly* *a little water comes out*
*Diego's eyes widen in horror*
Tigey Wigey: Haha! Scaredy Cat! *puts hose away*
Diego: Whatever, I'm going back to the Ice Age...
Tigey Wigey: No, you're not!
Diego: Well, you can't stop me, so... I'm going...
Tigey Wigey: Actually, my feline friend, I can stop you, cause I am the author. You do whatever I put on here, and I'm putting on here that you're staying right where you are, young man!
Diego: Fine. Geez, you sound like my mom... And for the record, I'm only staying cause I smell dead pigs.
Tigey Wigey: You smell... dead pigs...?
Diego: Yep, and I'm gunna go eat it cause I'm starving. *gets up* *walks over to fridge* *opens door* *grabs pig in mouth* *walks back to Tigey Wigey*
*Diego sits down and starts eating*
Tigey Wigey: Hey, that's my pork roast!
Diego: Not anymore *continues eating*
Tigey Wigey: Grrr...
Diego: Humans shouldn't growl. It's not threatening at all.
Tigey Wigey: Oh, you want threatening? All show you threatening! *pulls out hose again and squirts at Diego*
Diego: AAHH! *tries to dodge water*
Tigey Wigey: BWAHAHAHAHA! *turns hose setting to shower and squirts at Diego*
*Diego is dripping wet*
Tigey Wigey: Hahahaha!
*Manny, Ellie, Sid, Crash, Eddie, and Peaches walk in and find Diego dripping wet and Tigey Wigey laughing evily while holding hose and lightning striking in the background*
*Everyone stares at Diego*
Diego: Don't ask.
Later...
Tigey Wigey: Well, I hope there's no hard feelings...
Diego: Nah, I'll let it slide... just don't get that water thing out again!
Tigey Wigey: How about water guns?
Diego: No.
Tigey Wigey: Water squirters?
Diego: No.
Tigey Wigey: Water buckets?
Diego: No.
Tigey Wigey: Water balloons?
Diego: No.
Tigey Wigey: Water bears?
Diego: No...wait, water bears?
Tigey Wigey: Yeah, water bears! They're a kind of mite-
Diego: No!
Tigey Wigey: *sighs* Fine, no water... How about lava?
Diego: *slaps forehead*
Tigey Wigey: Like it? Please review!
Diego: Yeah, please review! Tell her how terrible her story is!
Tigey Wigey: A: I wasn't talking to you, B: It's not terrible, C: It's not a story, it's a conversation, and D: You're not supposed to be here!
Diego: Well, you are the author, and I have to do whatever you put on here, remember...?
Tigey Wigey: *sighs* You're just lucky you're my favorite character, or else you'd be going through Hell in my fanfics!
Diego:...but I do... There's Catnip and Catnip 2 where I get beat up by catnip, there's Sabre-tage where I get kicked in the shoulder and attacked at the end, there's Diego's Nightmare where I have...well, a really bad nightmare, there's the future story you're going to write where I actually die, and now there's this one where you blast me with water! Some fan you are...
Tigey Wigey: Ignore the moody tiger... please review!
Diego: I'm not moody!
Tigey Wigey: Right...you just have conflicting emotions!
Diego: Right!... Hey, wait a minute...