I Don't Own Casualty!
Dylan's eyes widened when he saw Iain carrying Sam's body through the doors of the A&E department, tears streaming down his face.
His hand automatically made its way to pull at his bottom lip as his breath caught in his throat. The gasps of shock and cries of his colleagues echoing around his head as he stumbled around the corner and out of view.
Bracing himself with a hand on the wall as he bent over trying to breath normally but found all that was happing was small gasps.
Oh god.
Oh god.
His breathing was rapid as he ran a hand over his face, feeling the tears that he didn't even know had been falling. This can't be happening.
He wasn't one for romantics and silly notions but he finally understood what people, who he in the past had called idiots, meant when they said their heart had been broken.
His chest felt like it was being torn in two, his heart pounding so hard he felt like he was vibrating with the force of it.
Sam, his lovely Samantha. Who he'd tried his best to push away. Whose return he had played off with malice and mean words. Who was the only women he had ever loved. Was gone.
He'd known it as soon as he'd seen her, laying limp in Iain's arms, her normally expressive face lax and unresponsive, grey even. Her chest laying still, no sighs of a heartbeat or life.
She was gone.
Slipping down the wall, he meant against it, arms wrapped around his knees as he cried into them. Thankful that a trolly was hiding him from view but even if someone were to see him, at this moment in time he wouldn't care.
Dylan wasn't one to cry but it didn't mean he wasn't capable of it and right now he felt like he could cry for hours no matter how much he tried to stop. He couldn't.
He still loved her. If he was being honest with himself, he always had ... and always will love her.
She had been the one, she understood him, with his hateful barbs and grumpy attitude. She had taken it in her stride, even after the end of their marriage.
He remembered when he met her, all wide eyed and determined, confidence echoing in her every move. He had been captured by her ever since even though he knew it was wrong.
He'd been mesmerised by the way she was lightly snore through the night but refuse to admit she did.
The way her lips twitched when she was trying not to look amused at one of his quips, even now.
The way she had just been as grouchy as him in the mornings before she fully woke up.
The way she had kissed him with intense passion that first time and the many times that followed.
They way that's she loved him and the way he loved her.
Dylan couldn't even remember the last thing he had said to her. He did remember how he was trying to avoid her at the scene of the crash. After their minor tiff when they had been getting into the ambulance, one she had seemed amused by.
His eyes clenched shut as he tried to get the image of her lifeless body out of his head. But he couldn't.
His hand pushed down over his mouth and nose as he let out a loud gut-wrenching sob he had no control over.
She was gone. He would never see her again, talk to her again, argue with her again.
He still loved her... and she would never know.