Back and Forth

by Recall the Love

'It looks ridiculous,' Beca groans, as soon as she sees it.

A/N: Soo, a short excerpt from this made its way into one of my drabble collection things (Words, Words, Words), but in actuality I've had this stupid fic on my hard drive since not long after the film actually came out. Let me put that into perspective: I wrote this smut fic for Bechloe before I ever wrote anything else for them, and it's taken me this long to get the courage to finish and post it. Oh well, I always like to say that smut is the best way to get into the heads of characters…

Thanks to hey-its-dash who gave me the "Fire in the Hole" line like a year ago. I totally forgot 'til she reminded me. And the "Love Stick".

And now I will hide, forever, because for some reason I've become more of a prude about what sex scenes I write as I get older. That just seems wrong.

Oh God, I'm nervous. If it wasn't obvious, this is extremely NSFW.

---

'It looks ridiculous,' Beca groans, as soon as she sees it. 'Why did you have to get a pink one?'

'Well, I was going to buy us one of the camouflage pattern ones,' replies Chloe dryly, already applying lube with the confident hands of someone who's had a lot of practice with it. This one's odourless - she wanted strawberry, but Beca complained that it "made her bits feel weird". 'But it turns out, they don't exist.'

'They should!' Beca plants her hands on her tiny hips, managing to draw Chloe's gaze down there too and destroy her already spotty concentration. 'Surely there's a gap in the market for that, for gay military dudes or something. We could make a fortune. In fact, I might start making business plans now.' At this she starts to scramble off the bed, and Chloe comes to her senses in time to grab Beca's ankle - thankfully not with her lubricated hand - as she tries to flee.

'Whoa there - I went to the trouble of putting on this thing and working out all the straps, the least you could do is hang around for a bit.'

Beca grumbles something under her breath, going limp as Chloe drags her back by the foot and straddles her thighs. She looks very deliberately in the other direction, lest her eyesight be besmirched by the sight of the garish appendage currently pointing in a comically lewd fashion towards her face. 'We could've been rich, Beale - I was gonna call it "Fire in the Hole", and everything.' She sighs, putting the back of her hand to her forehead. 'My dreams - they are crushed!'

Chloe laughs. 'Change the subject as much as you want, but don't think I've forgotten that this was originally your idea.'

'I didn't know a pink one would be involved,' Beca protests. 'The one I bought was a nice, masculine blue.'

'Yeah, and it was like twice the size of your head. It would've torn you apart. And I didn't realise you were looking for something "masculine", babe,' Chloe says, giving Beca a playful slap on her left hip. 'Something you wanna tell me?'

'That you're a jerk, and I hate you sometimes.'

Chloe mock-gasps. 'Wow, rude.'

'But kinda true.'

'You know, I don't have to put up with this. Maybe I should just take this off and put it away.' Chloe pretends to move off the bed, but Beca seizes her arm before she can do so. 'Uh huh - that's what I thought.'

If possible, the constant blush Beca's been sporting ever since Chloe donned the "Love Stick 2014" grows even deeper, making Chloe wonder how she has any blood left anywhere else in her body. 'D'you have to make this so awkward for me?' she whines. 'This is embarrassing enough as it is.'

'Because it's really fun for me when your face goes all red like that.'

Beca huffs. 'Well, I'm glad my worries are entertaining for you, at least.'

Well, that gets Chloe's attention, and for the first time since they started this whole thing she starts to wonder if Beca really isn't just putting an act on. 'You're worried?' And when Beca's eyes widen slightly - as though she hadn't quite meant to say that - and she stammers a little, alarm bells go off in Chloe's head.

'Hey - look, I was just kidding around,' Chloe says, feeling suddenly guilty. 'I thought you were too. Otherwise I wouldn't have been making jokes.'

'I know. I was too, at first.' She shrugs lightly. 'But then… I dunno… I started feeling weird.'

'Bec,' Chloe says, as gently as she can, tilting Beca's head by her chin until she makes eye contact. 'If you've changed your mind, then I'll take it off right now and we can do something else.'

'Something else?'

'Anything else. And I don't just mean sex stuff, I mean we can get dressed, watch TV, cuddle, whatever. I won't judge you or think less of you for not wanting to do this now, even if it was your idea.'

Beca's throat bobs with a swallow.

'I won't judge you,' Chloe repeats, cupping Beca's cheek. Her jaw is tense and there's a small crease between her eyebrows that wasn't there before; Chloe kisses her forehead, trying to make it disappear.

There's a few long, quiet moments where Beca still doesn't speak and seems to be weighing up her options. Eventually she says, very slowly, 'Would you judge me if I said I do want to do it?'

Chloe sits back on her heels, half wishing she hadn't decided to put on the strap-on already as it makes having civilised conversations a little more difficult. Still, taking it off seems counter-intuitive. 'Of course not! I mean, I do so it'd be kind of hypocritical.' She lifts Beca's hands, dropping kisses on her palms. 'Do you?'

'... Yeah. I mean, I guess. I don't know.' Beca sighs. 'It's just nerves, you know? It's something I've never done before. I feel like a freaking virgin.'

And Beca, Chloe knows, always hates feeling out of her depth. 'It's pretty new to me too, though. We can work it out together.'

Suddenly, Beca lets out a giggle.

'What?' Chloe's lips twitch too, an automatic reaction to Beca's laugh.

'It's just kinda weird having you be all Caring Chloe, and looking at me all lovey-dovey when you've got that monstrosity strapped to your hips.'

Chloe chuckles, thinking about how she was feeling the same way only a minute ago. 'I dunno, I'm starting to think I should wear it all the time when I'm having meaningful conversations.'

Beca drops her voice and her brow, pretending to be serious. 'No Aubrey, do go on; tell me about your latest daddy issue...'

'Beca!' She pretends to slap her, but can't help but laugh anyway (albeit with a tiny bit of guilt in Chloe's and a silent apology to her best friend). As the sound of their laughter fades, Beca smiles up at her in such a shy yet tender way that Chloe feels the affection bubble up in her chest. 'What?'

'I just love you.' But then she has to ruin the moment by rolling her eyes sarcastically: 'Like, only a little bit, though. Don't get excited.'

'Oh darn, that's a shame. 'Cause I happen to love you quite a lot.'

'Oh no!' Beca says dramatically. 'What a dilemma.'

'Do you think I can convince you otherwise?' Chloe leans in closer, one hand on either side of her head.

'That depends. How are you going to do that?'

'Hmm…' Chloe pretends to think about it, sliding herself forward so she's kneeling in between Beca's legs, which part easily for her. 'I think that the best way to start would probably be with a kiss.'

'A kiss,' Beca echoes, already looking down at Chloe's mouth.

'Of course. The thing you should know about me by now is that I am an excellent kisser.'

'Really.' Beca just looks amused, now - and okay, that smirk of hers is going a long way to recreating the mood, for Chloe at least. 'Do tell.'

'I believe show, don't tell, is actually the saying.' With that, she leans down to press her lips against Beca's in a soft kiss, mindful of the strap-on which she carefully guides out of the way with one hand.

No matter how many times they kiss, Chloe never quite seems to get used to it. Maybe it's the way Beca sinks so eagerly into every movement, in a way that's completely unlike the usual image of herself she puts up to the world but so very like the one Chloe has come to know in these past few years of being in a relationship with her. Beca kisses without walls, defences or resistance; even if she spends the rest of her life keeping everyone at a distance, it seems like here, with her lips on Chloe's, is the only time she feels like she doesn't have to.

'Well, that helped,' Beca breathes when they break away a few minutes later. Her cheeks are flushed again, but not from embarrassment this time.

Chloe smiles in a rather self-satisfied way as she stretches out alongside Beca, propping herself up on one elbow. She strokes a hand over Beca's stomach, over the jut of her rib cage, feeling her shudder and arch slightly up into the touch. And she can't help but tell her, 'You really are beautiful, you know that?' Beca scoffs silently at this. 'Don't give me that look; it's true. You really are.'

'I really don't know how you can say that with your face, dude. You're gorgeous.'

Chloe pretends to flip her hair back, fluttering her eyelashes. 'Tell me more.'

Beca laughs, sliding her fingers into Chloe's hair. 'You know, you talk too damn much sometimes,' she says, voice noticeably lower. 'Let's just go back to kissing already.'

'Demanding...'

She hangs just out of reach for the fun of it, teasing her, making Beca huff with annoyance a few times as she tries to lean up to kiss Chloe and misses. After the third time this happens, though, Beca gets sick of it; as Chloe dodges away, she seizes her by the cheeks and pulls her down into an eager, hard kiss that easily betrays her nervous excitement - and okay, banter with Beca is great but they were definitely somewhere before all of this and it'd be really good to get back there, please and thank you.

She reaches down between them, past Beca's slight hipbones and over her thighs, and then up, and… Oh.

There's a brief moment of pause, where Beca freezes slightly against her, and Chloe can't hold back a gasp.

'Beca...'

Guess we didn't need that lube, Chloe finds herself thinking, but has enough sense not to say it out loud.

'Shut up,' mutters Beca.

'You're... soaked.' In fact, Beca might be wetter than Chloe's ever felt her be before. It's instinct for Chloe's fingers to glide downwards, and inside - just for a moment, to feel her pulse around her digits, to see her bite down on her lip and her eyes close momentarily.

Chloe turns Beca's face towards hers, and captures her lips in a short but bruising kiss. 'Don't be embarrassed, baby,' she breathes against her lips. 'It's hot.'

'Yeah?' Beca's eyes are closed, but her hips are moving against Chloe's hand ever so slightly. In lieu of a verbal answer she presses harder and deeper until Beca lets out a strained squeak and digs her nails into Chloe's back.

'God, so fucking hot.' And she can't stop herself from touching Beca then, from twisting her fingers and curling them inside her, her breath catching in a way that plays havoc with Chloe's mental functions. For a while she totally forgets what they actually set out to do, too wrapped up in the feel of Beca around her, wet and hot; she ends up with her lips on Beca's thigh, wanting so badly to taste and to run her mouth over every jumping muscle. Chloe bites at her skin, tongue tracing patterns through wetness and briefly, over Beca's clit.

But Beca can only take a few more seconds of that before she's squirming, pushing Chloe's head away. 'Chloe, stop teasing. Just put it in me already, for God's sake.'

That sentence sounds so unbelievably like a cheesy porno film that Chloe can't help but laugh breathlessly, even as it makes her stomach flip. 'Um...'

'Chloe...'

'Okay, okay,' she says, already up on her knees and positioning herself. Her legs are shaking slightly beneath her, but she's unsure how much of that is from excitement and how much from nerves. She covers it by confidently pulling Beca's legs out from under her - getting a cute little squeal in response - and wrapping them tight around her waist. 'You're secretly pretty bossy in the bedroom, aren't you?'

'I wouldn't have to be if someone would just get on w…' Beca trails off abruptly as Chloe guides the tip of the toy forwards a little, nudging between her legs.

She meant to cut off her speech a little more than that in some sort of dramatic gesture, but to be honest, handling the positioning of the strap-on is kind of weird. She's never really had to guide anything bigger than her fingers into someone before, and it's hard getting the balance between concentrating on what she's doing and watching Beca's face to make sure she's not hurting her. And the way Beca herself is observing the whole process is a little nerve-wracking too, which surprises Chloe; she's not really one for performance anxiety, as a rule, but she'd be lying if said there wasn't at least a little pressure on her to make this absolutely mind-blowing for Beca.

'Okay?' she asks. Beca doesn't respond immediately, but her hands grip the back of Chloe's neck, cupping it; she takes in a sharp breath through her nose as Chloe slides further in. 'Beca?'

'It's -' Beca hesitates, chewing on her bottom lip. Then, she half shrugs, half smiles. 'Go a little harder?'

Okay. Okay, she can do that. She can do this. Or at least, she thinks she can, until Beca leans up to kiss her again - it just throws off her control of the angle even more, and she's distracted to boot. Because of this, Chloe miscalculates her next movement and accidentally throws herself off balance. She nearly falls right on top of Beca but manages to catch herself at the last moment, but the sudden jerk causes Beca to hiss in pain.

'Sorry, sorry,' Chloe says, hurriedly pulling herself upright. 'Oh no, did I hurt you?'

Beca's wincing. 'A little - but it's okay; I'm fine, I'm fine. You can keep going. Really,' she adds, because Chloe's expression obviously looks worried.

So she does keep going. But it's still - not right, somehow, because Chloe just can't quite get into a good position that doesn't completely murder her legs but is also pleasurable for Beca. She keeps wriggling around, making it hard for Chloe to keep track of what spots she should avoid, and which ones are slightly better. Unfortunately the one angle that does seem to draw more than a few deep breaths from Beca is way too low for Chloe to sustain without really jarring her hips. She's flexible, but evidently not that flexible.

Despite her laboured attempts to keep it together, Chloe finds her eyes pricking with tears of frustration. This isn't going at all like she originally envisaged. The doubt in the back of her mind causes her to think that maybe they should stop.

Except no, Chloe can do this, she's going to get this right; she's going to make Beca feel amazing and give her the best fucking orgasm she's ever had.

She just needs to keep trying.

And maybe start going to yoga with Aubrey again.

This goes on for about five minutes, with both of them still struggling to find a good place before Beca suddenly puts a hand on her bicep and squeezes. Chloe stops immediately.

'Are you okay?' She frowns down at her, trying to tell from her expression what Beca's feeling. Maybe it was a squeeze of pleasure, but somehow she's doubtful. 'Is it hurting?'

'I'm alright. It's just...' Beca bites her lip. 'I'm not sure this is working.'

Oh.

'Okay,' says Chloe, blinking fast, and sitting up again. 'Never mind, we tried; just give me a second to take it off -'

'No!' Beca almost shouts the word, shocking Chloe. 'Wait, I meant that I want to continue.'

'Huh?'

'I want to continue,' Beca repeats, 'but - not like this.'

Chloe tries to understand, she does, but her brain isn't quite working right now. 'I don't get it.'

Are Beca's ears going red? 'Never mind...'

'No, please,' says Chloe, grabbing her hand. 'If there's something I can do to make this better, tell me.'

Beca's staring at her, her expression unreadable. 'Dude,' she says. 'You're doing the thing again.'

'Doing what thing?'

'Putting a load of pressure on yourself. It's just sex, Chlo. And if it goes well, then great, but if it doesn't...' Beca shrugs. 'Oh well. It's not your fault if it doesn't. We're learning together, right?'

Chloe bites her lip, averting her eyes. She whispers, 'I just want to make you feel good, that's all.'

Beca groans and rubs her temples in frustration. 'It is, it's just – actually, you know what? Forget it.'

Alarmed, Chloe's gaze darts back up. 'Beca -'

'No,' Beca interrupts. 'Just shut up for a sec, 'kay?' Chloe obediently closes her mouth, frowning. 'And now let me...' Beca trails off, but she's getting up.

Chloe watches her do this, confused; but then, to her surprise, Beca turns clumsily and positions herself on hands and knees, facing away from Chloe.

Her jaw drops. For several seconds, she is entirely speechless as all the moisture in her mouth kind of relocates elsewhere.

'Beca. Are – are you sure?'

Beca nods jerkily.

But it's not enough for Chloe. She needs to hear it. Out loud.

'Use your words,' Chloe breathes, crawling up behind Beca. She puts her hands on Beca's hips, pulls her back, one hand skimming over the inside of her thigh.

Beca lets out a breath and then bows her head. 'Please,' Beca says quietly. 'Let's try this. Okay?'

It's the most open Beca's ever been during sex about what she wants. Which isn't saying a lot - but she seems to be trying, and that's the important part.

'I love you,' Chloe whispers. She hears it echoed back at her, but it's cut off halfway through with a sharp gasp when Chloe's fingers slide over Beca, finding her entrance and then slipping the toy into her. That was what Chloe meant to do earlier. She loves doing that. Beca spends so much time trying to verbally one-up everyone that it's nice to reduce her to a state where she can't even speak.

'How's the angle now?'

'Yep,' Beca gasps back, which isn't really an answer but Chloe'll take it.

It's different from this way. Really different. She can't see Beca's face which she finds a little worrying, just in case she ends up doing it wrong. In another way, though, it's more intense – there's not quite the same strain in her core from keeping herself elevated, but it's harsher on the backs of her thighs. And the rhythm seems easier to fall into as well, using Beca's hips as leverage to pull her back as a counterpoint to every thrust.

(The only issue is the bed springs, which are making an ungodly racket right now. Chloe sincerely hopes the neighbours aren't in, as there's no way she's stopping this for anybody).

She's mumbling something under her breath, but too quietly for her to hear; Chloe pauses momentarily to listen, which makes Beca let out another pained moan.

'What is it?' Chloe asks fearfully.

'Stop fucking stopping,' Beca growls; Chloe chuckles in relief and starts up again. 'And - and …' She nearly stops again, but then - 'Harder.'

Experimentally, Chloe draws her hips all the way back and slams back in with a quick movement. The reaction she gets is a soft, deep noise she's never heard from Beca before, and a long shiver running all the way up her spine.

'Yeah,' Chloe can't help herself saying, feeling pleased with herself, but then realises it seems a little silly. Hoping Beca didn't notice, instead she concentrates on her rhythm and making each of her strokes even and strong.

Then, she suddenly hits a spot that makes Beca properly moan, much louder than before – and she sounds vaguely surprised as she does so, like she wasn't expecting it to feel that good. Chloe has to physically bite down on her lip to stop herself from returning it.

'God, you sound good,' Chloe whispers. 'I...' She hesitates, not sure whether Beca would respond favourably. She has to be coerced slowly into dirty talk, without sudden movements or she'll bolt. 'I love it when you moan for me...'

She doesn't respond with words. Chloe has a hand on her back, so she feels it tense a little under her fingers, along with the curve that deepens when Beca tilts her lower body and rests her forehead on the bed covers.

She takes another chance. 'I really do,' Chloe murmurs, picking up the pace. 'And to be honest, Beca, I think you're secretly loving this too. All of this. Aren't you? I think you like me fucking you hard, like this, on your hands and knees for me. I didn't even have to ask you to do that, did I?' She laughs breathlessly when Beca lets out a weak noise and spreads her legs a little, rocking back into her. Wow. 'That's what I thought. I think you're secretly a dirty little girl, Beca Mitchell.'

'Y-yeah,' Beca pants back to her. Chloe's not entirely sure Beca knows what she's agreeing to, but it doesn't matter because Chloe's picked up her pace now and reduced Beca's vocabulary to incoherent noises.

'You look so good like this, on your knees for me.' Her voice is reverent. 'God, you're so fucking beautiful.'

Somehow, Beca picks that moment to regain some of her brain power. She looks back over her shoulder; her hair is plastered to her sweaty forehead and her cheeks are glowing red. 'And you're ch - cheesy,' Beca says. However, the sarcastic comment loses some impact when her eyes are rolling back in her head.

'I'm cheesy, huh?' Chloe readjusts her grip, angles a little more left and produces another deep groan. 'Somehow, I don't think you're complaining too much.'

It's about here that Chloe widens her stance somewhat, and reaches around to search out Beca's clit. She finds it swollen and begging for her touch the way Beca wouldn't do out loud. That said, the strangled noise Beca lets out is just as good, as though she's not quite sure how to process what's happening to her.

Chloe loves that - the fact that it's her making Beca lose all control like this, making her moan and writhe like a mad woman, and that she's the only one who gets to see her way. She loves that this was Beca's idea, and that she willingly put herself out there and made herself vulnerable by doing this. She loves that Beca is finally letting go and expressing what she wants.

Fuck, this is awesome. She fights the urge to do something unexpectedly weird as a result of her excitement, like screaming or singing suddenly, or spanking her, since she imagines that probably wouldn't go down too well. Instead, for now she stays slow, but hard and steady, building a rhythm that finally works for them. Chloe would do this all day if only she got to hear the noises she is right now throughout it.

… that said, if she's is being perfectly honest (and just a little selfish), it's the wrong angle to provide anything but the barest of relief to her - just this side of agonising teasing. On the one hand, she's worried she'll lose the perfect sounds that Beca's making if she tries to adjust anything right now - on the other, much as she'd like to keep this going forever, she thinks she might die if she doesn't come soon. And alright, maybe that is extremely selfish, but insanity seems right around the corner if she keeps having to deal with the nice-but-not-enough pressure from the harness, and the sight of Beca finally losing herself in the sensations - hair swinging with every thrust and her head tipped back in pleasure.

Luckily, even from behind Chloe can tell Beca's getting close. Every muscle in her body is coiled up tight, curling her inwards like it's readying itself for something massive. Her noises haven't exactly decreased in volume but their coherency has completely disappeared - she's not so much moaning or saying words now but just emitting random vowels and syllables, and the occasional hissing breath.

'Do you want to come for me?' Chloe demands, slowing right down, loving the way Beca keens in protest. 'And I want an actual answer this time.'

'Yes,' Beca says, voice choked and muffled by the bed sheet.

'Yes what?'

Beca's fists clench in the sheets, stalling, unsure, but then Chloe slows even more and she finally blurts out, 'Yes - God, fuck, Chloe, please let me come, I'm so fucking close!'

The words, the way Beca is begging her creates a shudder all the way up Chloe's back and down to her toes. For a moment her stomach lurches so much she almost thinks she's come too. But she doesn't, and the next moment she's fucking Beca, fucking her hard, reveling in her shocked, sharp intake of breath and the way she falls deathly silent all of a sudden. And Chloe knows her mouth just fell open and her face screwed up tight, and …

Beca does come. Pretty damn hard as a matter of fact - with a short, high pitched groan, before the convulsions start. She tightens so much around the strap-on that it's actually difficult to keep moving. Chloe slows her thrusts and her fingers, gently bringing her down and biting her own lip to stop from moaning herself.

'Chlo,' Beca's half chanting under her breath, a weak sob in her words. 'Shit, Chloe.'

Gradually all their movement slows until they come to a complete stop. Chloe cautiously pulls out, and Beca deflates onto the bed, curling up in a ball. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly and her bangs are stuck to her forehead because of the sweat that's accumulated at her hairline. She's bright red in the face and there are several red marks along her hips where Chloe's nails dug into her skin. She should look at least a little ridiculous, but to Chloe, she's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen.

'Wow,' murmurs Chloe, awestruck, as she unbuckles the harness and tries to get out of it without taking her eyes off her girlfriend.

'Mm. Shhh,' says Beca, too tired to even tell her to shut up properly. Chloe takes that as a sign of a job well done and snuggles up to Beca's side, kicking the harness away. Beca buries her face in Chloe's neck, her breathing still choppy and hot on her skin. Chloe wishes she could take a photograph of this exact moment so she could remember it forever. There's a burning in the tops of her thighs that says she's going to ache tomorrow, and her knees are sore from balancing her weight on them for so long.

But it was totally worth it.

'I love you,' she says softly, holding Beca tight; her heart swelling with it.

'I love you too.'

She stays like that for a while, simply gazing at Beca's face, from her slightly pointed features to her smudged make up, grinning to herself. When Beca had brought this idea up a few weeks ago she'd been a little nervous (but mostly excited), but nothing could have prepared her for the reality of it. She's already looking forward to the next time.

For now, though, she's content just to stay like this.

… Or she would, be, except for the fact that Chloe's still being pretty damn selfish, because she can't really enjoy this moment with all of her attention. It's not that she doesn't absolutely love the afterglow and the cuddling, because she does - it's just that, well, fuck. Chloe just really needs to come.

Pretty much now, in fact.

It's only when she starts surreptitiously drifting one hand down her body without trying to alert Beca that she actually speaks, making Chloe freeze.

'Don't think I don't know what you're doing,' says Beca, her eyes still shut. 'So don't even try. After all the teasing I had to put up with, I think it's only fair that you have to wait a minute or two.' She cracks one eyelid open to look at Chloe, whose mouth is open in disbelief. 'Don't worry, Chlo. I promise it'll be worth your while.'