He hadn't seen her in weeks.
He had no idea where she went. Or when she left. But he knew it left a gaping hole inside him when he lost her.
It was a fight, something that didn't get violent but it seemed to put the demon on her guard, and then she was gone.
Every bit of progress he had made collapsed. He had nightmares again, he wouldn't eat. He found himself wanting to let himself rot and he couldn't find anything to stimulate the feelings she gave him.
There was a day he woke up screaming her name, a nightmare clutching him and it caused him so much pain Dean and Sam had to hold him down when he hit a breaking point, throwing anything he could get his hands on and cursing the God who put him there.
Anger and betrayal and heartache destroyed Castiel. He was unstable enough, but Meg seemed to be that catalyst that kept him awake and alive.
Now he wanted everything to end. Everything to just go away.
He found himself sobbing naked in the shower in the morning, closing himself off in his room when Sam and Dean didn't need him, and he hadn't shaved in he didn't care how long.
It had only been a week, Dean told him. To Castiel that felt like an eternity.
He didn't even remember what they fought about, what caused him to become so angry and what caused her to flick her eyes at him, cursing and screaming at him until Castiel retaliated in the same tones.
And now she was gone, and he was broken.
Dean said women were temperamental, and it wouldn't be long before she scooted back. But a week had gone by and he heard nothing from her.
Until on Sunday, when the boys returned from a hunt, dragging behind them a 'someone who attempted to slaughter an entire vampire nest on her own'.
She was shouting at Dean to let her go, rambling on about how she didn't need protecting.
He hadn't moved from his spot in the corner of his sparse and bare room for that entire evening until he heard her voice, that oddly lisped hiss of her meatsuit.
He cautiously left his room, walking slowly down the hallway, just out of sight, to overhear their conversation.
Dean had already stormed off, and Sam was trying to talk to the demon, not having much luck as she kept ignoring him over and over.
"Meg, he's pretty messed up."
"He's not my boyfriend, Moose. And he's a big angel."
"I know you don't feel that way, Meg."
"Really?"
"The whole 'unicorn' thing. Don't think I didn't catch that."
"I was about to die."
"Meg, come on. He's lost it."
Meg huffed a growl and sat down on the couch, waving the hunter off as she flipped on the TV. Castiel appreciated Sam's efforts, though he did question the importance of the long extinct horned horses had to do with his situation.
Gingerly, he stepped out of the hallway, standing there, staring at her.
"Meg-"
"Clarence, I swear to God if we have a chick flick moment," Meg muttered angrily as she heard him shuffle his feet. "It was your fucking fault in the first place anyway, so just say you're-"
She gasped as he almost tackled her, surprised at the rush as Castiel kissed her, she could have sworn she'd never seen a human move that fast.
It lasted several moments before he broke it, Meg raising an eyebrow at how red his eyes were.
Sam told her he was messed up, but she didn't think like this.
"I'm sorry," he repeated over and over, shoving his face into her chest.
"Do you even remember what you did?"
"No."
"Jesus I just needed time you shit," she muttered, trying to pry him off her. "You can be a rude asshole sometimes."
"You were gone for so long."
"I was gone for like, four days."
He didn't reply, just kept his head pressed against her. He'd always been clingy, she thought. Isn't a surprise.
After a while, it seemed he'd cried himself to sleep, passed out against her as she flipped through late-night stations. He wouldn't let go of her, keeping her securely against him as he started to snore, the puffiness in his eyes slowly receding.
"Fucking humans," she muttered, slightly regretting letting him suffer that long. She was getting soft in her age. "Especially you."
Her human stirred, as if upset by her words, and she let out a sigh.
"Needy asshole."