A/N: An Anon responded to a meme on tumblr asking for "Do you ever think we should just stop this?" + Alex/Astra and here's the result. Also please note that it isn't really edited, so I apologize for any mistakes.
Their breath is the only sound that accompanies the familiar hum of the apartment in the stillness of the night. Their chests rise and fall in sync, their heartbeats calming as they come down from their high. Alex drapes an arm over Astra's chest, fingers itching to revel in that silver streak of hair that never ceases to fascinate her. The thought comes to her as it has many times before, though this time it escapes her lips before she can prevent it.
"Do you ever think we should just stop this?" her voice is almost alien in its huskiness, and considering the warm body next to her, somehow it seems appropriate.
The real alien stirs at the question, reaching out to turn on the bedside lamp. Astra attempts to sit up, but Alex presses into her chest, a silent plea for her to stay.
"You no longer wish to engage with me sexually, Brave One?" Astra asks, having succumbed to the request, and though her voice is leveled, there's a hint of unease that might have gone unnoticed by anyone else.
"No. No, that's not-" Alex sighs, burrowing her face in the crook of Astra's neck. She breathes in the other woman, allowing her scent to restore her courage. Alex's lips leave a soft kiss on Astra's neck, as though they've come to miss the sensation from moments ago. She lifts her head then, returning it to rest on her free hand, allowing her to look at the other woman once again.
"I like 'engaging sexually' with you, General," she smirks, as a glint of that familiar something that she once foolishly called nothing returns to Astra's eyes, "it's just that - All these secrets. This secret. And Kara, she - I don't know."
"What did you tell my niece to keep her from coming after me tonight?"
The shift of conversation doesn't go unnoticed, but with the rambling mess that has become of her, Alex is relieved.
"Guilt. I basically told her that if she followed you, it might make you feel jealous or insecure or weak or something because she still has her powers," Alex explains wearily, "and then I promised to look after you. She still thinks we hate each other, so now she thinks she owes me big time."
Alex's own guilt seems to diminish when her explanation elicits an ebullient chuckle from the Kryptonian whose heart beats against her arm. She smiles and leans over to plant another kiss on Astra's neck, the laughter vibrating against her lips.
And then Astra turns, capturing the agent's lips with her own. This isn't a battle for dominance or a show of power like their usual kisses, however. It's tender. It's sweet. And Alex, expert in body language that she is, doesn't know what to make of it.
"You no longer expel me from your bed," the words are malleable, weighed with meaning as they part.
The kiss manages to disorient Alex to the point that she fails to decipher it before her throat betrays her with a choked, "huh?"
"You no longer ask me to leave following our engagements, Brave One," Astra breathes, sincerity and something that Alex just can't grasp overtaking her features, "we lie through the night, bodies entwined in ways we shouldn't. I believe that means we have graduated from fucking to what your poets refer to as making love."
Alex's heart jumps. In the back of her mind she can see it leap right out of her ribcage and run. Her eyes dart between herself and the naked woman before her. The woman who has basically just unintentionally - because it has to be unintentional - confessed her love for her. The worst part is that Astra is so close to her, their bodies brushing against each other, aching to mesh in the vicious passion they have shared so many times, that even without her powers, Astra can feel Alex's elevated heart rate.
Alex swallows, licks her lips, and breathes.
Astra watches her intently, waiting.
The air between them seems to change, becoming heavier.
Finally, Alex just laughs. There are about a million reasons behind it. Kara and J'onn and her mom among them, because no good could come out of them finding out just how close she and Astra could get behind closed doors. But it's the one reason Alex refuses to even consider that presses her to make Astra take it back.
The laughter doesn't bode well with Astra. Slowly, she distances herself from Alex.
The warmth retreats along with her, ceasing the agent's laughter.
A hand shoots forward to stop the Kryptonian from moving any further or - worse yet - leaving. And then a leg hooks around Astra's. And then Alex's breasts are pressed against a smooth back adorned only with a single scar. Perhaps it's her guilt over causing that mark, or perhaps she just really doesn't want her to leave, but soon enough Alex finds herself clinging onto the other woman with her entire body.
Apologies and kisses litter Astra's neck and shoulder until she relaxes into the hold. One of Astra's hands meets Alex's over her chest. And then Alex's chin rests at the apex of Astra's neck as they fall into a familiar silence.
"I'll admit that the nature of our engagements have changed," Alex whispers, unwilling to disrupt the silence more than necessary, "but 'making love?'"
The question lingers in the air, neither woman offering any sort of answer. But it's the slight tremble Alex feels that worries her, because it isn't her body causing it. She presses a few more kisses to Kryptonian skin, and then, "Astra, I'm pretty sure you have to be in love with your partner for that."
The silence returns and the trembling increases and the confusion washes over Alex.
"Astra?"
The only response Alex receives is when Astra's hand leaves hers briefly, only to return with a touch of moisture.
Her years of watching out for Kara have taught Alex a lot about just how to treat an alien. Although Kara and her aunt are very different, Kara's bubbly nature contrasting brilliantly with Astra's stoicism, at their core, Alex doesn't think they're quite as different as they seem. So Alex loosens her grip, instead using her strength to turn the other woman to face her.
The sight that greets her upon successfully turning Astra around sucks the breath right out of her.
Wordlessly, she wipes the tears from Astra's face.
And then Alex presses her lips to Astra's forehead, and her eyelids and her cheeks and her lips.
When kisses don't feel like enough, Alex gathers her in her arms again and she hugs her with all her might. Hugs usually sustain Kara through her pain, but with Astra it's wildly different, and not just because they're naked. But because it's Astra. And Alex just doesn't want to think about that.
"It is not beyond the realm of possibilities," Astra's voice cracks through the quiet, her own grip tightening on her human companion, "that I might harbor such feelings."
"Astra," she rasps, "What are you saying?"
"Neither one of us wishes to stop this."
And with those words between them, all of Alex's efforts of denial fall apart. Every misunderstood look and feeling finally clicking. Alex is helpless as they lie together, their secret engagements having turned into far more than either one of them could have imagined.
"No," she whispers, pulling away just enough to look the other woman in the eyes, "I don't think we do."