It wasn't every day that Lydecker allowed himself to think about the past. Then again, today wasn't just any old day.
The colonel pulled out the first drawer in his desk and took out a small picture. The square wasn't very big at all. It was old, obviously worn. And it was one of Lydecker's most prized possessions. The picture was of his deceased wife. It was one of her senior pictures. They had met in Lydecker's junior year of high school. It was a love story out of a fairytale. They met in History class, after being assigned to work on a project together. Suddenly, the two teenagers found themselves becoming fast friends. Lydecker invited her to junior prom and asked her out that same night. She was overjoyed, didn't hesitate in saying yes. Things went smoothly from there until graduation. Sure, they had disagreements, like any other couple, but the two were happily in love. They thought the world of each other and were inseparable. Until, the day came for Donald Lydecker to be deployed for the first time. He had enrolled in the military as soon as he could, straight out of high school.
She was worried for his safety and didn't want him to leave, but he insisted he had to as it was his duty. Reluctantly, she understood and gave him all of her support. Though, sad to see him go, she admired his bravery and loyalty to their country. He proposed to her shortly before he left. He got down on one knee the night before he was to leave and pulled out a ring he had been saving up for years to buy. Tearfully, again she said yes. He came home safely and they were married short after. That would be the first of many deployments to come, but their marriage was cut short.
She hadn't been there to greet Donald as he arrived from his latest deployment. He was immediately alarmed. She never missed welcoming him home. He could only hope that perhaps she had lost track of time or was held up in traffic somewhere. He decided to check their home. As he arrived, police were swarming about. Panic set in, despite the soldier's attempts at staying calm. Shortly after, he was informed by the head police officer in charge that his wife hadn't shown up for work this morning and was found dead in the living room.
Despite the officers' warnings, Donald pushed past them and stepped into their living room where the bloody body laid. Shocked, the young widower push past the cops, giving them short answers to their never-ending questions as he did. The car they shared sat in the driveway and he got in, grateful for the peace and solace.
He drove just enough so he was out of sight of the police and pulled the car over on the side of a quiet road. That's where the strong man broke. He broke down and tears ran rapidly down his face. They burned as they left stains on his cheeks. Soon, he was full-on sobbing. Gasps he couldn't control any longer escaped him. He had lost the only true love he had ever known. He took the same picture, the one that now rested in his current desk at Manticore, out of his wallet and the shattered man traced fingers over it. Looking at that picture was the only way he'd ever see her smile again. That shell of a man then drove to the nearest bar and drank until he couldn't even see straight, let alone think. That was the start of a downward spiral that would ruin his life.
Back in the present, Lydecker sighed as he slowly came back to reality. There were no tears on the colonel's face but his distress was apparent. He was glad his office door was shut and locked. As he stared at the tiny picture in his hand, his thoughts drifted to what she would think of him today. Would she still admire his bravery and loyalty? Or would she see him as the monster his escaped children did? But she wasn't here now, so it really didn't matter. Still, Lydecker wondered how things would've been different if she had survived. Who would he be today?
The telephone beside his desk rang, snapping him from his thoughts. "Sir, we require your oversight down here in psy-ops." Lydecker told the scientist he would be there shortly and put down the phone with a clank. He stored the picture back in his desk drawer, but not before looking down at it one more time and whispering, "Happy anniversary." in a sweeter and softer tone that didn't sound like it belonged to Lydecker at all. As he headed out the door towards psy-ops he had to remind himself that that was his past. This is his present, where he needs to be.